influx of separate realities

me in the blair witch project: *trips over one of those spooky stick bundles* who left their fuckign pinterest crafts here

Everyday is leg day when you’re running from your problems

when my dad moved away from home he needed a place to live, so he went to look at this one potential apartment. the only questions the landlady asked him were where he was born and when. when my dad told her, the landlady pulled out this huuuge astrology chart book. she looked at it for a long time in silence and finally said, “acceptable”

sorry the what? the what moray

did u know: according to scientists, in October the mitochondria turns into the frightochondria and becomes the haunted house of the cell

i cant believe that bacteria would just intrude into my body without my permission. that makes me sick.. 

It does make you sick. Literally.

wow ha ha ur right i shouldve made this into a joke!!

Please fire me. A lady came in screaming and ranting how we wrote an obscene insult on her sandwich. Turns out she ordered a BLT with cheese. We wrote Blt +ch on it. It took me and a manager 15 minutes just to calm her down enough to even listen to us.

sounds like she was a real BLT with cheese