eau de résistance

as a bisexual, some of the shit y’all try to claim is “bi erasure” is just fucking BANANAS 

The duolingo owl, cocking a gun in the distance because i havent practiced french in a few months

If you’re 20-26, click here for a repressed memory 

i was 100% expecting this to be a rickroll but somehow it was worse

i’m 27 and my fiance is 30 and i had a visceral gut reaction and he was just like “i don’t know this.” op your grasp on the age range for this reference is spectacular

i love little kids with very niche interests. Like for awhile I nannied for a family who had a little girl who loved old black and white movies. She adopted a transatlantic accent, constantly wore a long string of plastic pearls, and would often dramatically drape herself over pieces of furniture when told to do something and say “I just can’t do it babe”

i once dropped her stuffed animal and she yelled “there’s been a murder!”

Your brain automatically transfers wtf but not lol

we need a nintendogs app i am sick of living like this

your bed is probably as happy to see you as you are to see it. ‘here comes the warmth slab’ it thinks

wrong it thinks “god hope this dipshit doesnt spill beans all over me again who tf eats beans in bed”

stop reblogging this new year new me i havent spilled beans in bed ONCE this year

uh oh

DELETE THIS