Agasawit's shithole

girl’s friend: “wow.. thats so creepy…”

I love how it doesn't matter what expedition it is.

They all turn into excited kids when they meet penguins.

1. Exploring the concept of Cybertronians being unaware humans are sentient - or, the less scrupulous hiding it in order to make a profit - and adopting humans as “pets” is a very well-established trope, and has its place in fanfiction just the same as any other trope. It’s fun! People like it for a reason!

2. Humans would make the WORST PETS OF ALL TIME, EVER, FULL STOP.

Care requirements are horrible. Complicated. We evolved in harmony with an unutterably delicate and complex ecosystem, and removing us from it without immediately killing us requires three advanced degrees per mech, specialized equipment, and an entire team of scientists, medics, and engineers. If you don’t have the resources of a major xenological park to hand, including the deep pockets of shanix to pay for it all, you’ve already failed.

Behavior wise? Humans lose our shit in captivity. We use captivity as punishment for our species. You throw a human in a cage, and they know they’re in a cage, and it won’t matter what enrichment you provide. They will become unhinged. They will have one goal: to break out of the cage. They will be angry at you when they break out of the cage.

You are getting the hellish combination of an under-stimulated Border collie, an unpredictable chimpanzee, an isolated Seaworld orca missing their pod, with the spite of a recently shaved cat. When your “pet” human breaks out, when, not if, the mech “owner” will wake from recharge to find someone with tiny hands and advanced problem-solving abilities is now living in their walls. They are coming out only with the intention of committing acts of sabotage and violence that would make the DJD think “That’s a bit much.” They are going to kill you in your recharge.

Besides, humans don’t live long compared to mechs. It would be like mechs keeping a fruit fly as a pet, if the fruit fly had opposable thumbs, a shiv made out of scrap metal, and a personal vendetta against the mech for putting them in a cage.

“But humans are domesticated, they even domesticated themselves! They love to play and follow routines and respond to positive stimuli! They’re so cute when they sleep! They pack bond easily!”

is that just hotel staff? a confused business man? then BOOM you see the barcode and go

Alien 1: "Captain, I assure you, our ships can't be breached by anything weaker than a concentrated proton beam. They barely have lasers. We'll be fine."

140 MILLION YEARS BACK.

If you don't know how far that is, that's basically the start of the cretaceous. Let me simplify that for you even further. Chimpanzees and humans seperated, what, 5 or 6 million years ago?

This is basically like if humans could hybridise with THESE THINGS.

This is the sort of thing that should be impossible. They used those eggs to be ABSOLUTELY 100% SURE NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN.

And then THEY GOT FISH OUT OF IT.

Like. You can quite clearly understand why they didn't think anything would happen. WE ARE MORE RELATED TO BLUE WHALES THAN THESE THINGS.

THE AMERICAN PADDLEFISH AND THE STURGEON ARE SO COMPLETELY UNRELATED THAT THIS IS NOT PLAYING GOD. IF ANYTHING THIS IS AN ACT OF GOD.

THE SCIENTISTS HAD NO BLAME IN THIS BECAUSE NOTHING LIKE THIS HAD EVER HAPPENED BEFORE

THESE THINGS, FOR HYBRIDS, HAD A REALLY HIGH SURVIVAL RATING. LIKE 70% OF THEM SURVIVED.

To put that into perspective, getting a blue whale and a squirrel and trying to hybridise them is more sensible, and that wouldn't produce anything but getting you banned from science. Most animals that aren't plants can barely hybridise two degrees away from each other.

BUT THESE TWO ENTIRELY UNRELATED FISH create PERFECTLY HEALTHY HYBRIDS.

And this is a Russian Sturgeon:

(glances at fish)

Battle-Forged

By Lee Vu Lam

Based on the painting "Novel of the Knight", by Igor Sventitski (2016):

Fallere, Art by Pere203 posted on Reddit - link HERE.

Art by Pere203

Art by Pere203