Afro Fairy

A Recipe for the Fall of Carmen Berzatto

The relationship between Sydney and Carmy has been talked about, examined and widely interpreted in different ways by almost all fans of the show. This meta isn’t to discourage anyone in how they see sydcarmy but Season five of The Bear has been out for two weeks and having finished it and thought very long and hard on the relationship between Sydney and Carmy throughout all 5 seasons, and what the finale season conveyed and portrayed in regards to it, I have come up with a conclusion that best fits how to define sydcarmy: an implicit romance.

Thanks for the ask @cleos-rightfoot! Hope you are having an amazing summer.

I think the glazing of Richie is because, compared to Sydcarmy, his character arc does not force the "incel, QAnon, 4chan, Snydercut motherf*ckers" to re-evaluate their own shortcomings. By focusing on Richie, they can ignore what the narrative is critiquing of fine dining, its elevation of white men at the expense of others, race, gender relations, the whole lot. All their biases and illusions about themselves are reaffirmed through Richie. Look at how loving Syd has meant Carmy becoming one of the most progressive heterosexual characters in modern TV: he realizes she is a better person than him, he acknowledges she has surpassed him in the profession he took greatest pride in, he hands over more and more control to her till she is running his business and her advice governs him even in his relations with other people. He admits she handles crises with more grace than he would and he is always apologizing to her and looking for her approval constantly. She has not even slept with him (the usual heteronormative bargain) yet he has signed over his entire inheritance to her. Carmy is ultimately going to live his life in service to Sydney, a Nigerian-African American immigrant woman. Carmy is terrified that his racist, dysfunctional family and his own chaos will drive Syd away and is constantly trying to improve himself for her. Claire barely registers on his consciousness because he is totally obsessed with Sydney. What might it mean for the Reddit bros to acknowledge a love like this which humbles a man, and requires him to change himself for a person that an increasingly fascist society does not treat as the ideal but who he now recognizes as his standard of perfection against whom even his dear departed brother cannot compare?

Now let's contrast that with Richie's relationships. He married his high school sweetheart, the blonde girl from the neighborhood, Tiff. When he failed to be the provider and show up for his daughter's birth due to goofing off with Mikey (arguably the real homoerotic love of his life which is fine by the Reddit bro crowd), Tiff divorced him and married a richer guy. After a brief stint as a tragic divorced dad (garnering all their brotastic sympathies and stoking their endless brotastic capacity for grievance), Richie managed to keep his job supervising black and brown workers. He failed upwards in fact. Despite his sexual harassment of Syd, he never really had to re-evaluate his sexist biases. He championed Claire as the "hot nerd" and never retracted that verdict to praise Syd's allure. He went through a short training under Asian bosses (Rene and Garrett) in the foremost establishment (run by a female chef) where, again despite his lousy attitude, he was hailed as their best and within a week emerged as a born-again convert to the cult of fine dining. Low effort and burnishing the self-image of white men as innate geniuses. He gets to be Syd's partner and is muscling in the very next morning wanting to know how the shares are to be divvied up. He countermands Syd's direct order about the reservations and faces no professional repercussions for it. Syd, in giving him a care package and fielding his texts, acts as a work wife and Jess is also stepping up to share that load. He is flying off to Japan to fulfill all the weeaboo fantasies (because you know Richie is absolutely going to leverage his reading of a few books and that one-week trip to present himself as a Japan expert). The Richie-Jess romance is utterly shallow in comparison to Sydcarmy; some flirting, some touching, no conflict, no need to change oneself, no angst. Now that Jess is his employee, the rightful hierarchy the Reddit bros want to maintain is reinstated. Sarah Ramos has some Fillipina ancestry but Wasian love interests don't puncture their white supremacist bubble the way Sydcarmy does.

Culinary school Sydcarmy...save me Culinary school Sydcarmy

I need fanfics with this au so bad

I think the statement "nor romantic nor platonic but a secret third thing" is kind of an oxymoron in many contexts, but especially in the context of shipping, and it definitely doesn't make any sense when it comes to sydcarmy.

One, cause that "secret third thing" would still be, by definition, still platonic.

The 'secret third thing,' to me, is just an attempt to put a name to elements mostly associated with romance: soulmatism, devotion, and a perpetual need/desire to be in each other's company. Even if those things can exist outside romantic feelings, in the case of Syd and Carmy, they have to be associated with romantic feelings, cause they do have romantic feelings for one another, despite what the narrative ever intended for those feelings.

So when all the "is a secret third thing" defenders come trought, what they are saying is that THEY SEE THE SOULMATISM, the things that cannot be fully explained by platonic love. They act like it's so noble to defend platonic love, but the truth is, most of the time, these defenders want the relationship to be categorized as definitely not romantic; they'd prefer this soulmatism to be totally devoid of any sexual/romantic possibility between the two people or characters. It is not different from this: "they were such good friends," used to describe queer closeted people in a relationship. This is a statement that is based on the idea that it would be 'better, more appropriate, more pure, more conventional, more noble' if these two particular people weren't involved in a sexual/romantic relationship. It is rooted in prejudice and social norms. (Cause God knows there are a lot of videogame 'fans' that sexualize characters that look like children, but that gets less hate than the interracial couple).

Back to the 'platonic' accusations.

Everything in Carmys and Syd's relationship: their artistic partnership, their friendship, their rivalry, ALL of that existed (and was built on) in the context of them having romantic feelings for one another, again, regardless of what they wanted to do with those feelings. All they did for each other, the ways they tried, failed, and succeeded to get closer to one another and be there for each other. All of that had the potential for a romantic resolution, built on a bridge of romantic desire (that was, most of the time, being actively repressed, yet it managed to surface every fucking time).

This point of "there should be space for platonic soulmates" is particularly obtuse to me when it's applied to sydcarmy. Cause

It is established that none of them has a romantic relationship that rivals this soulmate-like devotion. The show even went so far (by accident or intention) as to have Syd handle more of Carmen's struggles, doing so in such a selfless way that it was almost like they were telling us she was the better match for him and his recovery.

Both of them have expressed physical attraction and romantic feelings for each other. With Sydney, it's even in the text, in the things she says, in her themes on the show, and in the actions she takes. That was part of her character arc, even if you were to believe she was supposed to get over those feelings. For Carmen, it was most evident in his physical behavior around her and in the way he remained reminiscent of her in everything he did and considered her his ultimate safe zone.

not her stealing his name.

Well, if that doesn't blow people's minds away, which like for me, it would. If I got that on a piece of paper, I'd be like, yeah, we need like ten of you here, wow.

Then during the finale when Carmy is Talking to Richie about Panic Attacks they are both inside and the conversation about calm revolves around Syd subtextually him finally admitting about finding peace in her.

Blocking and positioning wise they are now on the same side inside the walk - in where he shares his source of peace.

He said the food overall was truly exceptional. And creative. He said the talent here is undeniable. That there's a scallop dish he hasn't been able to stop thinking about and the hospitality was beautiful. He said the room felt alive without being precious or try-hard.

“You’re The Bear.”

This declarative statement used to piss me off for various reasons and if you’ve read my opinions, you know why.  I understand subtext. I also understand what isn’t said or doesn’t need to be said. I understand this show relies heavily on things never said, but sometimes I just want it spoken plainly. It’s just a personal preference. But most importantly, I understand this show is human.

I had to pull the lens back and really think about someone like Carmy and how traumatized he is as an individual, and how difficult it is for him to articulate his thoughts.

I know this has been said before but It bears repeating: he is acknowledging that the soul of the restaurant isn’t the physical space..the star or himself. it is Sydney Adamu.

Now truth be told, I still sucked my teeth at this because this could easily fall into the magical negro trope which causes all sorts of feelings inside of me and so I told myself to breathe. I said Kim, let’s just expand more. So, I did.

Sydney is the heart of the restaurant. Throughout the series, Sydney gradually becomes the emotional center of The Bear. She built systems where Carmy created chaos. She developed people instead of simply demanding perfection and using them as tools. She gave the restaurant a future beyond survival. By season 5, the bear has become less about Carmy’s trauma and more about what Syd Is capable of creating. He finally recognizes the shift after she plated that pasta in season 4.

He’s giving up control. He always believes everything rests on his shoulders. Saying Syd is the bear is an act of surrender. He is saying; “This doesn’t belong to me anymore. It belongs to you.”

For someone who struggles with control that is an enormous expression of trust by saying “I believe in you.”  Carmy has always respected Sydney professionally, but he’s often struggled to express it without criticism or pressure.

By telling her, “you’re the bear.” By the end of season four and showed her in season five why that is true. He said you’re the leader. You’re the future. You’re capable of carrying this.  It’s recognizing her identity as a chef. Not just a partner.  

On a deeper emotional level, looking at Carmy, he rarely speaks directly about love or attachment. He tends to communicate through his work. To him, the restaurant has always represented his family. His grief over mikey. His purpose. His Identity.  So when he says Sydney is The Bear, he’s entrusting her with the thing that has consumed his enire life which is incredibly intimate.

Carmy is saying: “The thing that has meant everything to me…you’ve become it’s heart.”

EXCUSE ME?!?!

He is elevating Sydney by acknowledging that she embodies the values he wanted the bear to have but often couldn’t create himself. Leadership, stability, compassion, collaboration, and hope.

“You’re the Bear…” he also means: “You’re the best part of what we’ve built.”

 I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE THIS SHIT!

Carmy often struggles to tell people how much they matter to him and this is about as close as he comes to saying: “I trust you completely.” “I couldn’t have done this without you.” “This place is safe because you’re here.” 

Okay that’s some good shit.

I do love how well the emotional intimacy develops before the romantic intimacy can truly develop as Carmy and Sydney’s relationship has almost always been built on trust, vulnerability, and shared purpose rather than overt flirting.

By season four and five they’ve learned each other’s rhythm. They challenge one another. Support one another and increasingly become the person the other turns to first. That creates a good foundation for romantic feelings to emerge.

He is saying: “I see who you really are.” Which I think from Syd’s prospective, hearing him acknowledge that she’s become the heart of the restaurant validates all the hard work and emotional investment she’s put into not only being a chef but being at the bear.

 To me, what’s most sexy about this romance is that it would develop through recognition, not sudden passion. Carmy appears to be someone who falls in love through consistency, safety, and deep trust. Sydney is similar, values partnership, mutual respect, and being seen for who she is.