heavy mitted love

it is okay to grieve and mourn the loss of those friendships. it is okay that it has taken longer than you expected and that you’re still not even close to being done with them. it is okay that you will always leave the light on in your heart for them. it is okay that you still see things all throughout your day that reminds you of them. it is okay that you’ve woken up crying because they were in a dream that felt so, so real and you have to remind yourself that it’s all over and gone. it is okay to forgive yourself for what you didn’t do or say. it is okay to think of the years and years you spent talking and laughing about the men you’ll hopefully end up with and that it hurts so incredibly much now to think that they’ve never met the man you’ve found that you’ll marry. it is okay to call it all the worst heartbreak you’ve ever experienced.

sometimes choices are made that you have to respect. sometimes you are the one making the choice that you now regret horribly. sometimes you lose the privilege of celebrating the goodness in their lives, and the privilege of rushing to their side when it all falls apart. sometimes you don’t get to apologize because it would either not be received well or because it would only cause further harm.

Golden sun. God’s light on dark clouds. 1892. Book cover detail. 

overcast, rainy days and cool temperatures are the perfect mix. 🌫🌧