Healthier, Happier, B

I don’t have a fever. I can swallow. No visible swelling of lymph nodes. So I don’t think I’m in danger of sepsis (what I’ve convinced myself is going to happen), but I do think it might be infected. There’s some swelling of my gums in the back plus part of the roof of my mouth over there.

My breakfast burrito for dinner: queso, hashbrowns, scrambled egg/egg whites, center cut bacon

Slice of pizza and some delicious desserts! Decided to go for lunch instead of dinner. I wanted to eat more of the desserts but the sweets hurt my teeth 😔

Got groceries for smash burgers tomorrow on the grill

Tried to get out here before it was too hot… started around 8:30 and the feels like was still 92 🪷

Wake up with no alarm

Get dressed in a cute outfit for a morning walk

7 brew stop for iced coffee (sf dark chocolate banana bread iced coffee with almond milk)

walk a few miles on the riverside boardwalk before it gets too hot

Trader Joe’s for flowers and fruit + Kroger for Saturday grilling supplies

Brunch on the grill

Small nap/relaxing at home

Watch supernatural until dinner time

Dinner at the pizza/bakery place we love for a white slice and split a dessert

Cheesy egg bagel for dinner then a neighborhood walk then my cookies and creami 🍨

I had some really traumatic dental experiences as a child (fillings with no anesthetic, being strapped down to the chair after trying to tell the dentist I was anxious and in pain and trying to get up, etc) and it left me with some serious anxiety and fears of anything dental or medical related.

But I woke up with tooth pain on the 29th and because I’m nosy I took a small mirror and flashlight to look at my top wisdom teeth and they’ve started to decay. The bottom left one never grew in all the way and the right one is still under the skin.

I feel so embarrassed and ashamed and I’m so scared that the dentist is going to shame me and be disgusted.

I just feel so gross and sad. I know part of this emotional reaction is from my period starting on Monday but still.

I cried on the phone just trying to schedule my appointment but I still did it.

I did tell the scheduler that I had extreme dental and medical anxiety and that it had been over 10 years since I went to the dentist. This location specializes in sedation dentistry so I know they have experience with anxious patients but I can’t even explain how bad my anxiety is around this.

I’ve known they needed to come out for a while and now I’ve put it off so long that my back left molar looks bad too so it will probably need to be pulled as well. Which means an implant in the future.

I really hope I can get the surgery scheduled soon-ish so I can heal up before our Iceland trip. I have to go on that trip.

🥞

Breakfast! I think this is the last breakfast pizza for a while. Need to brainstorm what I want for next week’s breakfasts on my period 🤔

Lunch is going to be pancakes and scrambled eggs.

It’s our Friday yippie!!!! And I got a 100 sleep score 👸🏼