a very fancy ghost

Rating: E Pairing: Gaara/Uzumaki Naruto Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Anal Sex, Praise Kink, Blood Kink, Service Top, Top Gaara (Naruto), Bottom Uzumaki Naruto

Since he was old enough for people to start mentioning sex around him, Gaara knew that his perception of the whole thing was a bit different from most. When he was younger, he’d overhear boys his age talking about women they saw in movies that they desperately wished to see naked; as an adult, he’d overhear his men talking about how their latest roll in the sheets made them think they saw god. And Gaara just — didn’t get it. He doesn’t get hard looking at a chest, regardless of whether it belongs to a man or woman. He doesn’t see a person on the street or in the movies and wonder what they look like naked; and even if he did, it wouldn’t get him hard or desperate for touch. If anything, he supposes it would probably just make him uncomfortable. And yet. And yet. (or, Naruto, once again, proves to be the exception)

Rating: M

Pairing: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic

Chapter: 3/4

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Pizza Boy AU, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, Misunderstandings, Frottage, Hand Jobs

Hizashi feels his face flame as he all but leaps onto the table to try and grab his phone back. Nemuri, the absolute monster, seems to predict his movements and immediately moves her arm out of reach. “You don’t understand! He keeps sending me little memes of cats that say things like you can do it and good luck on finals!”

“Great, so you’re dating a 90 year old woman on Facebook.” Nemuri deftly slips the phone into her pocket. When Hizashi tries reaching for it anyways, she grabs him by both wrists and pushes him back.

“I know!” Hizashi practically sobs. “It’s so adorable, and I miss him so much.”

“You saw him two days ago.”

“Yeah, but my balls were out the whole time, and it wasn’t even in a sexy way.”

“Well you can see him after— Oh my fucking god, get the fuck off of me.”

Nemuri palms his entire face and pushes him back as hard as she can, which means he ends up flat on his ass on the floor. He even knocks over the kitchen chair on his way down. His next groan of pain is physical rather than emotional.

Rating: M

Pairing: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic

Chapter: 2/3

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Pizza Boy AU, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff

“Now, buck up or shut up, buttercup. Your pining is exhausting.”

“I’m not—” Hizashi starts before he is interrupted by the chime of his phone. It’s sitting face up on the coffee table, so they can both see Shōta’s name pop up, along with the preview of his text.

Nezu says he’s fine with you stealing his pizza boy as long as you keep buying from us.

Hizashi knows that Nemuri is watching him, but he can’t help the stupid grin that breaks out over his face. He’s thinking through a handful of responses ranging from way too flirty to far too simple (the range, precisely, goes from if all I had to do was buy pizza to steal you away forever, I would have already done it by now to hahaha ) and snatches at his phone without a second thought. Nemuri just sighs as she makes for her own room.

“Like I said. Exhausting.”