fleeting moments

sometimes you just need to succumb to the whimsical urge to sit on an elevated surface high enough that your feet can't touch the ground and kick your legs back and forth aimlessly

sorry that many of you are extremely sad like me

Kafka looking at us from afterlife

I love scenarios and I hate being in situations

you truly do not exist for other ppl’s consumption and your existence is not hinged on making others happy and comfortable by stifling and hiding and crushing and editing parts of yourself to be less than who you really are

you’re not evil girl you’re just lonely and no one has cared for you in a while and its making you crazy can you go get a fucking chai latte or something

the show (going out to get groceries. making myself a nice dinner. showering and opening the windows. being kind to myself in everything i do) Must go on

the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.

sometimes I have brief moments of clarity like oh yes. love and joy should be guiding me and it will all work out. documenting so i remember to express this

bro she's a piece of art, pin her against the wall

how is everyone doing this fine night. i’ll go first i’m losing my mind

opens news article. closes three pop up ads. backs out of the survey page i was redirected to. closes a pop up video ad. rejects cookies to make the cookie window go away. dismisses the requests to receive notifications from the website and the offers to sign up for it. dodges ninja lasers and poisonous arrow traps. body of the page is finally visible. i have reached my monthly limit and can’t read the article

every social interaction i initiate feels like i’ve violated like 15 untold rules