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oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins
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Product Placement
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@advanceofbroken

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“Shame” 2011

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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You’re all done! 💀
I know that hyperstition is real because after a rewatch of "The Comedy" (2012) you realize that there are a lot of guys on Twitter ... excuse me, X, the everything app, that are literally Tim Heidecker's character in that movie.
It hurts that she'll never know that I would make her so happy. I would support her in everything: career, dreams ... she would know true love.
Me and Mrs Jones
Cheating is socially reprehensible until a song about cheating becomes a number one hit in 1972.
Times have changed you say? The song was covered to great success in 2007.
Also David Lynch was a serial cheater and everyone loves him.
everything computer

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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You met her in a strip club.
She touched you like no stripper has ever done.
You could swear you almost felt ... love.
or something approaching it.
You touched her back gently and she said:
we have chemistry
But the strip club is so far away.
so you couldn't see her as often as you like.
You painted her a picture and she said:
this is chemistry
You touched her back gently and you could swear
you almost felt ... love.
or something next to it.
You invited her to dinner.
She has a lover and she still said yes.
The time and place was agreed upon
but you backed out.
You used a poor excuse but your real fear
was that someone could recognize you.
Call you out and shame you.
And now you've lost out on ... love
or something like it.
divorce is the real privilege
and no one wants to talk about.
Tim & Eric circa 2014
It goes like this.
You wake up erect. You hear this is uncommon for men at fifty, yet here you are. Your eyes turn to the bathroom as that slight headache also wakes. You think about the escort you came across on Twitter and quickly attempt to push the thought from your mind. Instead, you think about how all of the world’s problems exist because no one is loved the way they want to be loved. Probably a dumber thought than ruining your life and spending money on a woman who will just resent you more than any unpaid companion has.
You get up and walk to the bathroom. You stand naked, hunched over your bathroom sink, headphones on, your phone in one hand and masturbating with the other. You’re listening to melancholic music that you’d oddly also like to make love to. You look at mostly naked women on Tumblr because you fear masturbating to real porn will hasten erectile problems already showing at inoportune times. You prefer short videos to photos. The way they move and look into the camera helps you convince yourself, for the slightest of moments, that they could actually want you.
Thankfully, your eyes aren’t bad enough that you need reading glasses, as that would only make this entire scene that much more humiliating.
Ultimately, the time spent curating the experience lasts longer than the experience itself. You finish in the sink. You turn the water on and want to cry, but you can’t. Immediately afterward, the depression washes over you. It’s as overwhelming as always. You feel worse than you did before.
This is your love life. This is all the actual “love” you will ever have.
Your thoughts then quickly turn to the bottle of Tylenol PM you have hidden underneath your bathroom sink. It’s not there to help with sleeping with a headache. Would the entire bottle with a heavy dose of tequila do the trick?
Instead, you’ll shower, put on those ill-fitting pants, and go to work.
by Trisha Donnelly
source: collectionarchive.tumblr.com

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming