something someday

All this extra money is going to our house account and my daughter’s 529. Maybe also into my HYSA for my Roth IRA next year hmm. Need to think through that one. Keeping my 401k at 10% for now and will bump it up to 12% or 13% next year depending.

I love personal finance. So much.

We put our sweet old pup to sleep and it broke both of our hearts. It was time and he was hanging on for us but we were able to give him a last gift of peace and comfort.

My husband has been emailing a very promising lead and I’m praying that this one works out for him 🙏🏼🙏🏼 He’s been so tenacious and patient and I love him. If not this one another one. We keep moving forward.

Our daughter is doing so well. We joined the botanical gardens and have been going a couple times a week. She’s basically sleeping through the night for the most part. Except for Sunday night she was up 3 times and we all had a terrible day yesterday where she was pretty inconsolable. We’ve been cloth diapering which has been awesome. When I’m not working playing stay at home mom has generally been enjoyable lol. Laundry, bottle cleaning, formula making, walks, playing + reading with my girl. Being a mom overall has been great. 10/10. But only because we have so much help. If we didn’t live with my mom and have my in-laws at my beck and call I would not be thriving. I always tell people that’s why I’m doing so well.

Work has been going awesome. I’m training in trauma which I have decided I do not like. Suctioning people’s brains out of their noses and seeing gunshot wound victims that will not recover is not for me. Now I know! Overall working in trauma though it’s easier on my body cause it doesn’t get busy until 3 pm or so. I’m only cross training so I’ll fill in here and there when they need me which will be fine. I’m over waiting for the ICU so I applied to cross train in the ER. I also have my interview for the next level of Staff Nurse next week which is a 9% raise. So stoked about that. Oh and I got asked to charge! So whenever that happens it will be a nice change of pace.

I calculated our net worth the other night and 🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪 Compound interest is ABSOLUTELY REAL. I started aggressively saving 10 years ago and seeing how much it is growing and growing is wild. We found a house we like too a couple weeks ago which is still on the market. My husband would like to move forward with it if it’s still there next month. I’m on the fence. We could absolutely afford it but I loveeeee being at my mom’s esp while he is still traveling and looking for his next long term role. Idk! We’ll see what we end up doing.

We were back and forth on if we were gonna do any traveling this summer. As of right now the only thing we are planning is to use my husband’s bougie hotel points from work to get a nice hotel on the beach in October. Maybe going to go to Orange County with my mom where we would stay with a friend. There would be 3 adults and 1 baby on the flight. Feels like the right ratio. Lol.

We went and looked at a house that would be really great for us. But I’m not ready. And I wasn’t ready to admit that to myself until I found myself with a pit in my stomach telling my mom we found a house we really like. We aren’t ready. But still fun to look. Husband is still chugging along with his job search. Applied today to a couple.

The past couple days have truly tested me. I worked Tuesday and Wednesday. It was completely fine but 13 hour days on your feet are hard. And then I had to turn around and drive to my in-laws after my 13 hour shift on Wednesday to pick baby up, which is totally absolutely fine they watched her for over 48 hours so we could work. My husband is out of town working an overnight shift on a project this week. It’s the first week he’s been gone in months. So I solo parented yesterday and today with a little bit of help from my mom in the evenings but she’s had a super busy week so it’s basically been just baby and I the past two days.

Today was the first day I was absolutely counting down the hours until I could take her to my in-laws for the night. I couldn’t fall asleep last night. Got about 5 hours uninterrupted. Baby slept from 10 to 5 which is awesome. But not so much for me.

I just struggled through the day with her. Made sure she was fed, clean, and dry. We played a bit and she napped a bit. But she mostly just fussed. For two days in a row. This is truly the first time being a mom has felt so incredibly hard and she hasn’t even started to crawl or walk yet.

I just feel defeated. And like a bad parent for just being so completely worn down I couldn’t be present with her. I was so tired that I fell asleep the short way on our bed when she knocked out after her like 5th tantrum of the day. At least I got a 20 minute nap that made me not want to completely jump off a cliff mentally.

And then when I leave my in-laws my sister-in-law texts me that she cried for an hour straight. Can’t win. I offered to go back and pick her up. Fuck it - I’ll just call into work tomorrow. It’s not worth it. But they got her settled.

Changed the sheets and dusted and mopped and vacuumed and scrubbed. I even put away my maternity clothes and winter clothes and pulled out all my year round clothes and summer clothes. Now my closet feels right again and it’s nice to see the clothes that I haven’t worn in almost a year.

I weighed in at 200.2 this morning. Almost out of the 200s 😭😭 I was 231 when I gave birth. My goal is 180. Feels doable by the fall.

No wonder they’re always short staffed in the ER. It’s pure chaos. No one is checking on you. The techs don’t do their jobs. They’re literally no where to be found. I don’t mind it every once in a while but it’s also just dangerous. One of the new patients I had was a stroke patient and I didn’t know that because during report the other nurse didn’t know because whoever he got her from didn’t know. It’s so bad for patient care when the ER is in surge because patients are being bounced around and there is absolutely no continuity of care and it’s terrifying. It was a very mild stroke but still a stroke. I only found out cause my charge called me since he was doing a chart review and thank god he did!! Saved my ass.

I chronically dieted from 15 to 30. 15 years. My hunger cues are completely whack. I truly think taking a glp1 will be a lifelong medication for me. And I’m okay with that.

Baby is doing great. She’s so cute. Light of our lives. It was just me and her today at home chilling. We played and read a book and napped and just had a cozy mom and daughter day.

Work has been going awesome. It’s so nice to be back and use my adult brain and my skill set that I worked so hard to obtain. I even got my 3rd Daisy nomination the other day!! Completely caught me by surprise when my charge brought it to me 🥺🥺 I also have been stacking shifts in a way that feels so sustainable and also like a hack. Two shifts together, 2 to 3 days off, and then repeat!

Husband paid off his car this week. He had a phone interview that went well. But like who knows at this point. Just keep trucking. What he has is good. It’s not ideal but he’s been working in town as of late and home every night so that’s been soooo nice.

I maxed out my Roth IRA for the year. Huge blessing. And I was able to set up my contributions for my 401k at work since I’m hitting my year. Now it’s time to hunker down stacking cash for our house. We are thinking sometime next year but aren’t in any rush. We’ll probably buy something on the smaller side that will be good when our kids are little and then my mom can take it over when it’s time and we’ll take this house.

Baby is doing great. She spent two nights in a row with my in laws when I did my two back to back shifts during the week and she was with my husband yesterday. Perfect. We are getting into a groove. I slept in my mom’s room on Friday night so she wouldn’t keep me up before my shift and I’m glad I did cause she was up at 11 and at 2 which isn’t bad but going into a 12 hour shift is no bueno.

I’m getting a Lush themed pedicure right now. The salon is all the way across town and was a 30 minute drive but I’m sooo glad I came. It’s important to do a serious self care thing for myself once a month or so that way I can show up as my best self for my family and for my patients.

I had an elderly patient yesterday and his son gave me a really big compliment after we had talked for a while. He said that he used to be an RN at the very hospital we were at and that he could tell I was such a good nurse by the way I greeted him and his father and that I had compassion. Nurse to nurse that means soooo much.

It feels good to be back. To be using my skills and helping our community. To be a stay at home mom 4 days a week and a working mom 3 days. It’s the dream really. My annual pay has gone up by $15k without factoring in my bonus. With my bonus my annual pay has gone up by $25k. I’ll apply for the next level of staff nurse this year and my pay will increase by another 10%. I love the bedside!!

So back to work I go. To be a strong role model for my daughter. To provide financial security. To not loose my rank at my hospital and miss pay increases. To better myself as an individual and contribute to my community.

As a mom you get judged if you do and judged if you don’t. I was already getting judgement from my coworkers about working vs not working. The decision is completely mine and my husband’s.

I’ll have had a full two months off when I go back. If we have another child I’ll get the full 12 weeks of FMLA and at that point I may go to part time. But honestly it’s exhausting to be a full time caretaker. I like to use my brain outside of the house and motherhood.

Motherhood is still so so new but that’s how I feel right now. I think it will be invigorating to go back. Get my groove back. I am going to be restarting my glp1 in the next week. Getting back into the gym. Getting lunch with a friend. Starting to expand my life outside of the newborn bubble.