it really is crazy how there are so many influencers with millions of followers i have never heard of in my life

every day someone is like ‘have you heard about the situation with johnny youtube?’ and i go. pardon. who the hell is that

”there’s no glory in suffering” and “sometimes the effort is the point” are two ideas that co-exist but god damn if I can ever tell when’s the time for which

Tumblr should never have given us polls. Everyday I have to see years-old polls cross my dash proudly proclaiming past-me's vote which I now disagree with. Let me change my vote!! I have rethought which Tetris piece is the sexiest.

“you have to watch this new show!” and the show is on a streaming service

“omg this movie leaked! i feel bad for the people who worked on it” they were already paid.

I've been in an evil mood for hours and I just discovered there was a piece of glitter stuck in my contact lens so I'm going to assume it was that the whole time and now the curse has been lifted.

yeah it was the eye glitter. I'm fine now.

What in the fuck did you possibly do to get hit with the modern day “shard of magical ice in eye that freezes your soul and makes you unable to recognize joy” curse? Like come back here that is literally how the fairytale goes, WHAT happened to you

Cast in a rock opera about vampires that is set in the 80s. There's a lot of glitter.

there's a group of high school boys in this McDonald's and I just heard one of them say "I bet you you cannae break your own arm" so something interesting might happen shortly

Everclear is what we have instead of universal healthcare.