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i want to emphasize this, anyone transfem or otherwise tma will get less respect in lgbt spaces and this goes even more so if they dont present as femininely, or god forbid if presenting masculine. i experienced this firsthand. there are points in my transition where i was still boymoding, where i was trying to be feminine and various stages of doing this better as i got used to it, and times when i did not want to shave or dress fem or anything so i didnt. there was a time i identified as nonbinary and then started identifying as a woman. throughout all of this, i was treated worse than my tme peers. this includes my transmasc friends who still presented femininely, who although by wider society would be observed as women, in these lgbt spaces (even those trans focused) they would have their identity respected. i cannot say the same for me.
they werent treated lesser, i was. they werent questioned on their identity, i was. they werent degendered constantly, i was.
the difference was like night and day no matter what i did.
the reason you do not see 'subversive' trans women as often like you do trans men, those trans men who are happy still wearing dresses and having breasts and wearing makeup, is because if a trans woman tries to do this same thing she will lose what little clearance she is given to a feminine identity. trans women often do not get to be gender nonconforming because the very notion of there being men who would choose to become women is already too radical for society
when you look at a psychiatric diagnosis and you see that it has a 3:1 diagnostic rate of women to men, it's more likely to be diagnosed in trans people than cisgender people, and it's most prevalent in hispanic people out of any ethnic group. you really do have to consider who benefits from a label that amounts to "Biologically and Pathologically Hysterical". yknow.
it’s not a “stigmatised” disorder. it’s a disorder that was designed to stigmatise, to shame, and to oppress. acting as though the diagnosis is a stigmatised one is missing the part where this diagnosis is in fact meeting the exact purpose it was designed to fulfil
OP's tags from both the original post and the reblog were too good to hide.
that's really exactly it.
as someone who could very easily qualify for a diagnosis of bpd or cptsd, and even very often resonates with both, everything described in bpd is just a demonization of the same patterns of behaviour described by cptsd. it is just describing you as evil for struggling with being hurt so much, and in doing so, takes the focus away from the person hurting and puts it onto how it inconveniences everyone else.
we really need to be critical of how these labels come to be, because they are deliberately created, and they are created by people with biases. they are so often just a tool of oppression, another extension of a discriminatory machine.
I hope it isn't derailing, but I think this is also really illustrated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. "narcissist" was a word for an asshole before it was a word for a disorder. rather than describing how someone might struggle to relate to others or be open to true connection, and centering the person who needs to heal, they instead called everyone who struggles with that an irredeemable dick and dressed it up in medical expertise so you wouldn't think to question it. frankly I think it's silly to call for treating "narcissist" like some sacred medical term instead of looking at how fucked up it is that they called a disorder that???
it was ages ago, but there was a post on here talking about just how many "disorders" and diagnoses boil down to "shitty bitch disease". and well, once you see it, you never stop seeing it. anti-social personality disorder? shitty bitch disease. npd, shitty bitch disease. obstinate defiance disorder (come the fuck on) well that's shitty bitch disease. bpd is maybe the most classic example of this. you don't need to listen to her, she has shitty bitch disease. pay no mind to the fact that this label somehow only makes it onto the most marginalized. don't worry about that, because you don't need to listen to those people anyway. they don't have reasons or pain or bad days or feelings or any of that pesky stuff that real people have to explain their actions. no no, we haven't abused them, not at all. haven't you heard? they were broken from the start, and I can prove it. see? they have shitty bitch disease.
got that dog in me and mitski has been showing financial interest in it
I've received a handful of commissions to draw people's pets and monks but this is definitely my favorite one so far
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my take on the "can trans men be lesbians?" thing is that i would never ever comment on a stranger's identity and i would never tell someone i don't know what they can or can't do but also like. come on. if you're explicitly choosing to be a man you can get mad when women don't want to date you.
if you're going into a space where there are women explicitly saying "I do not want men involved in my romance" and you are actively identifying as a man you cannot get upset when they don't want to date you or are uncomfortable with you being there
i also deeply empathize with every trans femme lesbian who has had to watch her existence debated and been seen as a pervert for loving women see most of the lesbian community go "oh yeah you have a vagina, you have the Unbreakable Woman Bond that means we are connected forever" and get a little frustrated about that
Also: do you think a cis man could be a lesbian without identifying as a woman? if not, and you think trans men can, i think you're just speaking from bioesstentialism and maybe don't really think trans men are fully men in the way cis men are
i'm remembering that trans man/lesbian i knew who was mad the girl he was seeing ID'd as straight its like damn maybe you don't really see yourself as a man.
*finally manages to get the gag out of my mouth* do you think im a good nice hostage or a bad stupid hostage
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the state does not need to assign you a sex, nor does it need to keep inalterable record of it btw
a very interesting terf objection to this one boils down to "but how would the state know who to protect?" because it speaks to the incredible privilege of being in a class the state actually ever remotely wants to protect. most oppressed groups do not want the state to have a registry of them, lol
the patriarchy has done a great job convincing white cisgender women that it's in their best interests to maintain it
Researchers can do studies that track disparate impacts across genders just fine without the government storing your assigned sex as part of your legal identity. They do this with race and orientation and disability and so on just fine.
A census can understand population level trends just fine without storing your assigned sex as part of your legal identity. They can ask for this information in the census. The census tracking population level data is not the same as your assigned sex being permanently part of your legal identity. (At least, the way my country does a census.)
Your doctor can know your anatomy by you communicating it to them if/when it is relevant. There is never a time when they might need to know something that could only be conveyed by your assigned sex being officially relayed to them via government documentation. You can just use your words. The same way you tell your doctor any other part of your medical history.
People respond to "the government doesn't need to store your assigned sex as part of your legal identity" as if they are hearing "no one should ever acknowledge gender or sex at all" but that's not what's being said.
Your birth certificate conveys important legal information about you. Your name, as a designation. Your parents, as they have a legal obligation to you. Your place of birth, as that place has a legal obligation to you. Date and time of birth, since age is important for application of some laws.
And sex. That's on there too. But what is the legal relevance? What laws is the government going to apply to you differently based on what sex is on your birth certificate? I can only think of one thing my government really uses that for, and that is to determine who has to sign up for the draft. And guess what, fuck that shit anyway. The government also used to use this to decide who is allowed to marry who. They don't do that anymore. For now.
There is literally no reason my assigned sex needs to be part of my legal identity. My government is not using that for anything (important). It doesn't matter. If the gender markers on everyone's IDs vanished tomorrow nothing (except maybe the draft) would be significantly negatively affected. Data collection for research could continue as usual since researchers usually have people self report these characteristics rather than checking their government IDs. My doctors would still know which organs I have and if they forgot, I could tell them. I don't want anything to be part of my legal identity that doesn't have to be.

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here's a trick for getting this stain out. did you know you can make that dish in batches and it freezes great? that's actually really easy to fix, you only need a screwdriver and a replacement hinge. I can show you if you want. I can't buy you a new one, but maybe this will help. maybe the info will serve you one day. most people don't realize you can ask for a discount on those types of purchases, did you know? here's how I would try. maybe this will save you a little money. I don't have anything else to offer you. I hope it's enough. it's not much, but this'll balance the flavor and make cheap taste fantastic, it's crazy right? I wish I had more to give you. I've heard of that before, here's what someone I know tried. maybe that'll save you some time and worry. you can buy that part and do it yourself, let me take a look. here's what I would do. let's give it a shot. it's ugly, but it works. I hope that fixes it. I hope I made things easier for you.
can you hear the "I love you" between every sentence? if you listen closely, it's repeating over and over and over, every time you keep trying, owing your life a thousand times over to the ones who came before, to the ones surviving alongside you. keep trying, I love you, I hope this helps, I love you, we'll find a way, i love you. in the heartbeats of silence, I love you. there's nothing else I can give you, I love you. this is all I have. I love you.
imo the way you feel about groups it's fully socially acceptable to hate (like children or polyamorous people, among others) is the canary in the coal mine for underlying bigoted beliefs. if you're only supportive of marginalized groups when it's cool to do so, probably you don't actually care about marginalized groups, you care about other people thinking you care
there are 1 trillion people in the notes of this post saying "yeah! i mean i hate kids but they should have rights!" you hate kids? you mean you hate all members of an oppressed group solely for their membership in this group? right. why do you hate them? because they can't take care of themselves and need help? because they don't understand social norms and can be "annoying" and disrespect boundaries as a result? because they can be messy? because they don't understand things in the same way as you do? that's awesome. how do you feel about disabled people btw
lemon is so so so fucking good in sweet food and savory food and spicy food and salty food and drinks. she has it all

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Marking you green on shinigami eyes for posting about wanting to kill dogs
Marking you red for talking about your boyfriend