Hello there!! I'm sorry if I'm not doing this right, but this sounds SO fun and I'd love to give it a try!!
My F/O is Carolina Mach from Regretevator! She's a very patient soul and is a really hard worker. Though, she's immortal and has lived a very long time, so I'm not sure if she'd feel that enrolling as a student would be a good use of her skills. If she can fit it into her busy work schedule, she'd love to help teach the students as part of the faculty! No fire necessary, hehe.
I am.. hundreds of years younger than her so I think a bit of education might be in order, lol! I'm a big fan of technology and IT, and I have a lot of skills in financial mathetics, if that's of any help to you! Thanks so much for the opportunity, and I hope you're doing well! 💖
Congratulations, you two have been accepted into Selfship University!
Don't worry, your application is perfect! We are happy to help you both find your place here.
For you, your skills in technology and financial mathematics point to a very specific and powerful field of study.
We have decided to enroll you in the Bachelor of Science in Mathematical Finance program!
The Bachelor of Science in Mathematical Finance is a rigorous, quantitative program for students with exceptional aptitude in mathematics who wish to apply their skills to the complex world of finance. The curriculum is built upon a formidable foundation of advanced calculus, probability theory, and computer science, complemented by coursework in financial modeling, stochastic processes, and risk management. The program culminates in a senior capstone project where students develop and back-test their own quantitative trading model. Graduates are highly sought after for elite roles as quantitative analysts, financial engineers, and risk managers.
Your four-year plan of study:
We also have our first-ever New Faculty Announcement, and a new department!
Selfship University is proud to announce the formation of the Department of Extradimensional Physics and to welcome its inaugural faculty member: Carolina Mach will be joining Selfship University as a Professor of Practice in Continuum Studies!
Professor Mach is a decorated veteran of trans-continuum affairs, currently serving as a Judge of the Eternal Committee, an Insider of the Continuum, and other titles. She has extensive practical experience in the mechanics of reality cohesion, navigating extradimensional spaces like the Abyss, and resolving multiversal threats. Her research, built on millennia of fieldwork, focuses on the jurisprudence of non-standard realities and the theoretical application of powers capable of ending and reshaping universes.
Professor Mach will be teaching the following courses:
CONT 256 – Introduction to Non-Linear Time: An examination of temporal mechanics in realities where time is not a constant. This course draws upon case studies where a subject's perception of time has been warped beyond repair.
CONT 384 – Jurisprudence and Conflict in the Multiverse: This course analyzes the legal and ethical frameworks for governing interactions between different universes, including protocols for dealing with imperialistic threats and enacting contingency plans.
CONT 463 – Advanced Navigation of Conceptual Space: A senior-level practicum on traversing hostile, non-physical realms. Topics include mitigating the risk of fading from existence and the practical differences between various realms, including the Abyss and the King's Farlands.
We hope you two enjoy what Selfship University has to offer! Here's to an excellent four-year experience AND a wonderful research and teaching career!
Selfshippers! Want to experience a high-quality education for you and your F/O? Apply to Selfship University today! (Pr0sh1pp3rs will be rejected!)
