Walk Through The Fire

(...)

“Oh, I know she’s not enough to bribe you or anything, but…” Yujin shook her head, a happy smile on her lips. “Since I rescued her from the streets, she always takes a lot of time before letting people pet her… I mean, she’s getting better, but no one else has ever been able to just… pick her up like that.” Her smile widened and she shuffled a bit closer to Hyunjoon. “She can sense that you’re a good person, ahjusshi!! And you must be a really good person to be able to hold her like that. I knew it!”

Hyunjoon found it cute, Yujin’s reaction to the fact that he was handling her cat so easily. It should not be that much of a surprise. He worked at a pet shop after all. He handled animals on a daily basis, even the difficult ones. He was bound to have found a way to get to them.

Scratching the cat’s chin, Hyunjoon looked to Yujin and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, not too sure about me being a good person. And stop calling me ahjusshi, okay? I’m not that much older than you are.”

He patiently waited, letting the cat play with the selection of collars they had. “You want this one?” he asked, noticing that there was a particular one that the cat kept pawing at. Hyunjoon picked it off the hook and went back to the counter, putting Elly down. “You’re not as bad as you sound, Elly,” he smiled, giving her more scratches before looking to Yujin. “Is there anything else you need? You seem to be coming here a lot because you’re always forgetting something.”

(...) It’s a shitty way to talk, and perhaps she’s asking for it; a blow to the face would really get her blood pumping. She’s excited with this much hatred and aimless rage crackling in the air.

Hyunjoon never relaxed. The grip on her clothes were even tighter than before and he had no intentions of letting her go. Not until he had landed a few punches on her face in order to douse that fire in him. What was pulling his strings further was the fact that Eunyoung was not affected by this at all. She was not scared. She was not angry. She seemed to be enjoying it, like she knew this was going to happen and she wanted it to.

It came as no surprise to know that Hyunjoon himself was the target. He was the one snooping around, after all. The one digging out all the dirt on the officers who were corrupted. They wanted him to shut up. Jaemin was just in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and he made friends with the wrong person. But to hear it from Eunyoung, it only angered Hyunjoon more.

Pulling her slightly away from the shelf, Hyunjoon slammed her against it again. “Shut up!” he shouted. If his aunt walked in right now, she was definitely going to get the scare of her life. No one had seen Hyunjoon truly angry before, not until Eunyoung came along.

(...) She heads for the exit, demonstrating to the man that her interest too is limited, turning around in the last moment to speak over her shoulder. Her confession is thrown out with an air of nonchalance, almost taunting in it’s carelessness. “You should know, perhaps, that it was me who gave the order to kill.”

Kwon Jaemin.

Kwon Jaemin.

No matter how much she tried, she was not getting a reaction out of Hyunjoon. Until of course, she mentioned that name. It was a name all too familiar to Hyunjoon. A name that was on his mind twenty-four-seven. And no matter how hard he tried to forget, Hyunjoon never could. Everyone around Hyunjoon was always careful with that name. They never talked about it, let alone mention it so casually the way she did.

Just like that day in the police station, Hyunjoon swept everything on the counter onto the floor in his rage. The animals in the shop starting making noises, probably scared from the sudden crashing that Hyunjoon caused.

“You have no right to say his name. No right!” Hyunjoon slammed his fist on the counter, not paying mind the sharp pain that shot through his arm. No, his anger was overtaking his entire body. He had no idea what it was but something was holding him back. Until...that last sentence.

You should know, perhaps, that it was me who gave the order to kill.

He knew. He knew deep down that it was her attempt to taunt him, to get a reaction out of him. But Hyunjoon could not help but react. Jaemin was his partner, his best friend. And it was because of Hyunjoon that Jaemin was no longer here.

(...)

Finally, Yujin came in with a pet carrier bag. “Elly didn’t like the collar I got last time,” she explained the second she caught sight of Hyunjoon. “So I brought her along to choose! She’s not a big fan of people, but I figured this way would be better.” And she gave Hyunjoon her brightest, most cheerful smile.

Ahjusshi? Did the kid just call him ahjusshi? Now, Hyunjoon was in his thirties but there was no shame in being older. It just meant that he was more experienced in life but for the girl to call him ‘ahjusshi’, it hit him a little too hard. “Yah, did your parents not teach you manners? Ahjusshi? Ahjusshi? You may look young but I’m not that much older than you are, alright?”

Accepting her money and handing the toy over, Hyunjoon did not bid her goodbye as she left. Who did the kid think she was? Waltzing into the store and trying to pry into his private life, thinking that she was some kind of psychiatrist. He was a stranger, yet she was still so curious about him. Surely a personality like that was bound to bring her some trouble.

And just like that, she kept coming back to the store, using her cat as an excuse but each time she came, she asked Hyunjoon if he was ready to share to which he would always respond with a no. He was starting to warm up to her a little though he still kept a wall up. Why was she so interested in knowing anyway? Things like this, it was better not to know anything.

Seeing her in the pet shop again, it was starting to get a little irritating for Hyunjoon because it meant he had to spend at least half an hour today to convince her that he did not want to talk. But this time, she brought her cat along. He was starting to think that it was not real and was just an excuse she used to come here.

(...) Eunyoung observes Hyunjoon’s responses closely, curious for what she’ll find in his expression at the indication of his murdered partner. She’s aware of his impulsivity in the face of emotion. The Tigers study their enemies in the force as closely as the police tracks them, after all. Hyunjoon is taller, stronger, trained as a cop. But Eunyoung is a hardened criminal and fighter and she’s confident she can take him on. His temper is the only unpredictable measure, one that’s hard to factor into the equation. Yet it’s also the thing she’s most curious to witness. It’s hard not to provoke him for the sake of this.

It was a bunch of bullshit that she said to him. Hyunjoon had no interest in knowing that they bred the animals into dependence and that it was cruel to be selling them off. It was just a way for her to start the conversation, leading it to what she really came for. Hyunjoon just did not have the patience to be going round in circles with her. Even the way she bowed felt superficial.

Whenever people came in here asking if he was Yoo Hyunjoon, he was not surprised. Most people would know who you were if you were that legendary man who flipped a desk on the day you quit your job. Words traveled.

“Blood on our hands?” Hyunjoon asked. “You’re speaking as if we’re the same. We are not the same. From the very beginning, we were walking down different paths and even now, we’re going down different roads. And don’t even think for a second that our paths would ever cross. I’m sorry to say but you’ve come for nothing today. And you’re only going to waste your time with me. So if you don’t mind, the door is that way. It’s time for the puppies to take a bath.”

(...)

Eunyoung doesn’t look up by the time she is approached, keeping her eyes fixed on the puppy she’s been watching. “It’s a cruel thing, isn’t it?” Her voice is calm, contemplative. “To sell a living creature.”

When the bell rang, Hyunjoon barely moved a muscle. Most of their regulars were used to Hyunjoon not being the sunshine staff. And most people just get on with their business before actually bothering him (they knew better than to bother him before they actually needed him). But there was something about this woman who walked in that made Hyunjoon look up. He trained his eyes on her, watching her every move only to notice that she was definitely not here for adoption or to get supplies for her pet.

He got up, walked over to the puppy pen, pretending that he was checking on the dogs before looking to the woman when she finally spoke up. “Funny thing to hear from you,” Hyunjoon said. He had seen her before, definitely. And not in a good way. “And we do adoptions here. So no, it’s not cruel what we do. Though, it doesn’t strike me at all that you’re the type to get a pet so tell me, what really brought you here?”

(...)

It would also explain why he hadn’t been the nicest to her. He must have horrible memories of the police force, Yujin thought as she finally found her wallet and gave him the money. “I want to know your side of the story. If the police are really so bad, then they must’ve told me lies, right? So I want to know what really happened.” Curiosity was both Yujin’s strength and weakness. It had given her wonderful experiences, but she also never knew when to stop.

To say that she did not look like a forensic scientist was an understatement. The girl barely looked to be of legal age. But Hyunjoon was going to keep his mouth shut about it. He had insulted enough for the day. Anymore and she would leave without paying and that was not going to look good on his record for his aunt.

“Look kid,” Hyunjoon sighed. He grabbed the edge of the counter, leaning against it with his arms to support his weight as he looked at the girl. “The world isn’t all rainbows and sunshine, okay? So whether or not I’m being hard on myself or if I’m being too negative, that isn’t for you to judge. And as for my side of the story, there is no side. And if you value your life, kid, I’d suggest that you leave and find work somewhere else.”

Hyunjoon never told anyone the reason behind him leaving the force. His aunt and siblings just thought that the death of his partner hit him really hard and he was just down in the dumps. Someday, he would bounce right back to being the Yoo Hyunjoon he was before. He spared them the details, they did not need to know. Knowing would only bring them into harm’s way. Which was the same reason why he was not going to tell the girl either.

(...)

Then her gaze traveled to the puppies and she briefly lost her train of thoughts. “Are they all up for adoption?” she asked, curiosity evident in her voice. “They’re all so adorable… I bet working here is awesome!”

Whoever the girl was, the first impression of her was not a good one in Hyunjoon’s book. He hated what the police force had become and he hated even more that people wanted to know about what happened that led to him quitting when he had been so passionate about being a police officer since he was five. It was not very gentleman-like of him either, to glare at the girl when she was so...innocent looking. Should she not be out with some of guardian?

“Well, good for you,” Hyunjoon pointed out. He remember having that sort of enthusiasm when he first graduated from the academy. He was so proud in letting people know that he was a police. But now, he mocked those with that kind of enthusiasm because he knew it was only a matter of time before their dreams were crushed like his did.

The girl was relentless. Most people would be able to read the aura around Hyunjoon by now and know that he did not want to share any side of whatever with them. He gave her an unimpressed look but instead of reprimanding her, he scanned the cat toy she picked out and pointed to the register showing the price. But just as sudden as her recognising him as the officer with a rage, she switched the subject and was suddenly gushing about the puppies.

(...)

“Are you… the Yoo Hyunjoon?” she asked, a little timidly. “The one who used to be in the police?”

“Yah, you gotta eat. Who’s gonna wanna take you home if you are so skinny, hm?” 

Hyunjoon used to think that people who talked to their pets were out of their minds. In fact, anyone who would talk to any kind of animals were out of their minds. Yet here he was, talking to a newly brought in puppy who was still not quite used to the idea of regular feeding because it had been on the street for far too long to grasp the concept of getting food regularly. But who else was he to talk to besides the animals?

He heard the bell by the front door ringing but paid no attention. His aunt was huge on customer service, the whole smile-and-greet-and-pretend-the-whole-world-is-just-rainbows-and-puppies-and-sunshine business. Hyunjoon was the complete opposite. They would come to him with their needs, there was no need for him to greet them as if they were his best buddies.