Adeptus Stupidous

In a world where Cybernetic enhancements and magic are not a tale of fiction anymore this story takes us to a place where humans are widely regarded with fear, respect and a sense of awe.

For in the year of 9685 humankind are traveling among the stars and what could only be described as wild dreams have turned out to be true. In the vast array of galaxies spread in our universe countless species thrive and learnt what it meant to be a traveller. Civilisations thrived under strict regulations and if they were deemed a to big of a threat they were wiped out not by the intergalactic community but by themself. Atleast that’s what we were told.

Intergalactic politics are a complicated matter. deciphering languages, putting meaning in the noises spoken is no laughing matter. Simple miss communications have started wars devastating countless worlds in multiple galaxies to put it short. Species which ”talk” via hormones or what we would call telepathy exist, species who talk by gestures, body language subtle as a heartbeat exist in the vast universe. Species who thrived on death world as well as paradise worlds. But what sets them apart from eachother? the use of technology or lack of technology. Species who are fundamentally weaker relied on technology to thrive we see this in humans, choosing to alter their bodies via both biological and mechanical means, what we would call moraly questionable they deem neccesary. While on the other hand technological enhancements are looked down upon by the more biological fortunate.

Magic is real but so is cybernetic enhancements in space. Now i’m not talking about space magic like the force, or cyborgs like star wars, or robocop.

I’m talking Harry Potter combined with Cyberpunk. Magic is very real, but so is just getting chromed the hell out.

Humans are a weird one to talk about. They are a predator specie that at one side want to hug, pet and domesticate every animal they see and have at the very least tamed most species in their home planet. While on the other side can be an absolute plauge to everything alive, they’ve hunted and exterminated yet, cared and fostered species of all sorts and shapes.

They live on what they call a paradise world that is in fact a death world. While they have made some terraforming efforts it isn’t to make the world more habitable for them but every other specie they live along with. Vasts forest’s and sea’s cover the majority of the planet.

Some would say they are a warmongering specie only leaving ash, debris and radiation behind them and they would be right. Humans are a master of violence yet they’re also masters of philosophy. Since the early days millenia ago when they barely knew what a planet was humans prospered in the art of thinking. Great humans like the human Aristotles who’se arts are revered to this age are very interesting.

current year 4578. Interview of klokian heavy mechanized frontline support unit 681th divison.

specie: kloakian. Name: Rak’zaer crasl.

I remember the first war we had with the humans clear as day. I think the whole galaxy does. While war isn’t something new to us since the galactic council are well, what they say peace keepers but they work more to keep the status quo between all the species which is a constant struggle of making sure the more malevolant empires dont do anything rash. It’s a constant struggle between border frictions, rebellions and sometimes civil war. safe to say galactic scale politics are a complete mess and sometimes well…let’s just say things can get disturbing.

the first contact war is a great example and one we all learnt from dearly. When the graktukian empire discovered that one of their holy worlds as they call it had been colonized they were not happy at all. Standard procedure would be to contact this new specie and inform them that they had to leave the planet. What we were not aware off was that the empire had taken matter into their own hands and eradicated the settlement using a specialised deconstruction lance, breaking the humans and their buildings down into their molecular structure.

We later heard that they had captured some what they call heretics and after vigorious interrogation they found out that they were a specie called ”homo sapien” or ”human”. With the Grantukian empire being very influential both politically and militairily they somehow managed to get the council to overlook this breach of galactic law due to the humans ”defiling their holy world”. Still think it’s valorkian Dungbeetle behavior.

Especially when they decided to declare a fullblown war with the new ’human’ specie. A war that cost them a bit over sixty planets before a truce were declared. The humans only lost ten, six of which were captured planets they took from the Graktuka.

I was on about three planets the humans invaded, but the planets they were defending? There’s a reason why i have prosthetic leg arm, and three prosthetic organs.

Human space technology is rather primitive by our standards, they’re slow dont have shields and instead rely on thick hull instead off energy based kinetic impact shields. So how did they defeat Top of the line Graktukian destroyer fleets? You see Graktukian ships are not in anyway weak. But most of the ships fleets they they have are categorized as a striker fleet, fast manouverable, small and very dangerous if they got up close because they would drop EMP class K bombs. Their tactic was to get up close shields up and get into middle of the fleet, drop the bombs and move away to get into position to fire their lance weaponry from afar.

what they didn’t expect were that a human railguns completely ignored shields. While their hull wasn’t thin it did not hold up when what was essentially a volley of needle shaped projectiles going close to light speed pierced their hull nearly cutting their ships in half.

I’ve read their reports of that first engagement and the amount of energy generated by the human ships were that of a red giant sun. How they managed to get the literal power of the sun into their primitive ships without causing a black hole is still baffling to me. Their space technology is rather primitive but their energy generation is on a whole other level compared to ours. We guess that those ships have to be simple so that the Miniature star they have onboard dont implode on itself due to overuse. Given their reputation i would assume they learnt that the hard way. And the radiation their miniature star generators acted as a natural form of isolation for energy meaning they were EMP immune unless you managed to get directly in said ship.

When we found out that they essentially destroyed an entire Graktukian striker fleet, the Graktukian high nobolity realized that they needed help. I know there was some very foul play involved to get the council onboard with this but noone has any evidence. Mostly because they were declared heretics and died under a number of incidents. This went on and on. with some big victories for us destroying their main dreadnought fleets utilizing classified weapons managed to siege high value planets.

At this point we were not aware that humans were a predator specie, when we made it onto the planet via translocation beacons because planetfall by conventional means were deemed impossible due to the quite honestly unhealthy amount of surface to air weaponry, which put most fortress worlds seem like a agricultural world.

Even via translocation the initial forces were ambushed and only by sheer coincidence did they manage to set up a very rudimentary ground only when the kinetic shield generators were set up. Even then we lost over 20 000 militairy personell in just 3 weeks. We managed to overwhelm their defences by saturated orbital bombardment. Even then, they managed to ambush and raid numerous of our operation bases.

I deployed on the 4th week on the planet. In all my cycles of service i have never witnessed such chaos, supply lines cut off, ammunitions sabotagued. Once the shield generator broke down and the Shield gen mechanic tried to fix it but we had to request another one because the damn thing was sabotaged, never seen a mechanic that angry and baffled before.

about 8 years of us going back and forwards between occupying system and taking it back both sides were exhausted from war, in total about 300 billion casulties were documented.

It was a bloody war, and i am glad we managed to negotiate a cease fire. fragile as it was. I dont know how i feel about fighting for what effectively was a mistake that the humans had no way of knowing of. I’m just saying alot of things were off about that war and i’m not sure if we were on the rightside in that war. Maybe i’m just growing to be more critical of it all.

Humans nowadays are well known far and wide in this galaxy. Mostly because they are some of the most chaotic, Stupid or bold "daredevils" around (think i used that word correctly).

While i do recall my first meeting with the humans very V E R Y badly since i served in the contact wars when the Graktuka a well known theocratic empire and very influential and politically strong contender in the galaxy stumbled across human colonies. They saw this as an hostile action since the planet they were settling were a holy world, That however is a story for another time.

Just know that the Graktuka empire shrunk by a significant margin to the point where they asked for militairy support. The humans had apparently developed a kind of magnetic accelerated firing plattform piercing through multiple layers of hull completely ignoring shields. Given that Graktuka empire relied on shields since most of the galactic arsenal is plasma based but their hull wasn't weak at all. Unconventional weapons had to be used to even dent their armour. Realising that the humans ships were massive but rather primitive and slow a ground based invasion was seen to be the optimal way off going.

If you were there you would know why humanity is as feared as they are. Masters of the what did they call it? Art of war? Yeah something like that. Fields of bombs buried into the ground detonating with a light step. Weapons dedicated to injure soldiers just enough to save them but not kill them in order to make the invader spend more resources on saving said soldier.

Even our bases of operations with shields were not safe, let me tell you if you think regular humans can cause damage to stuff by touching things dont even get near trained saboteurs with your stuff. They break things in a ways that seems like a simple malfunction and will work after a simple repair. When the shield generator first broke down i thought i could fix it in a matter of minutes, I still havent fixed it to this day and i have taken that thing apart thousands of times without finding the fault.

safe to say we lost that war and this is just one one planet. This was the short part. Just be glad that they pack bond with just about anything. Saw a human carry a cleaning unit and named it "Ronald the Roomba" And that is apparently our ships mascot. But this is things we all are aware of. Let me tell you of their poetic side

This is not something most of us see as common knowledge about humans, but their cultural aspect besides war is for a lack of better words beautiful. This thing they call music.

for all their wars they know how brutal they are and write songs about everything they did wrong and how they wished how they could change it. But that is not all, according to human Jakob music portrays emotions and ones feelings in a way that regular communication doesn't and you dont even need to understand the words to understand the emotion said piece is carrying. Which i know to be true, it's almost therapeutic

I think My log of it will be a better way to describe since it is honestly hard to describe [alltough be careful their music is quite loud for most prey species]

Year 4574 human sector 456854 log 1 of service leave. I am currently here on a passion project of mine. While the war has ended 6 years ago off now the tensions do still exist. Me and some comrades in service are taking some time off and going to what humans call a bar and apparently there is a human performing. I have no idea of how this is gonna go. All i know is humans are incredibly chaotic especially when intoxicated. Still i should probably record this for the culture scientists at social scientific hub.

Log 2

*murmur and loud talking in the background at the bar*

"for clarifications sake, my name is Groakslo, i am here with my two comrades Kyukla and Telosa. We are currently at the bar only to see that humans are actively drinking poison, i was quite shocked to hear this and asked if it isn't dangerous and the bartender said and i quote "nah we gucci" note to self find out what gucci is."

Log 3

"the humans were beginning to get rowdy and even slight outbursts of violence did occur but nothing the surprisingly loud bartender couldn't handle by a very concerning threat, followed by him saying that the band is preparing so settle down. Telosa and i looked at each other very confused but still awaited this "band"

Log 4

"the band arrived and started to set up weird things, long instruments with metal strings, of varying thickness, i asked the a human who were close by what they were and he said instruments. I asked what they were used for and he said to play music. I was getting nowhere and decided to see for myself what they were gonna do."

Log 5 (i decided to be quiet for this one)

"welcome folks and aliens of all sorts shapes and kinds! Thank you for coming to this bar for our first debut our name is The Lines In between, and for those who dont know human music, we'll slowly lean you into it with this first on and it is namned Memories beneath the stars" [3 hours of music recorded]

Final log (yes i know i could voice record but i want to write while the memory is fresh i'm bad with words)

I never knew that humans could make such songs. Telosa and Kyukla was particurlarly affected. The song was as the name suggest the memories we made sneaking out to watch the stars as younglings, reminiscing about the times when the stars were the most unknown, adventure filled and beautiful place to be in. But also about the connections they've lost over the years, the good times wiped away like a water slowly polishing a stone into sand. It was odd, beautiful calm, sad all at once.

The voices i heard when i fought humans in war can not even be compared to that of the singer in that band, what is most perplexing is that the once borderline rioting bar was completely quiet when the band was performing, almost as if in a trance completely captured by the singers voice, smooth, rough, raspy but controlled in a way i thought impossible. A song about 4 human minutes somehow managed to capture the full emotional spektrum of not only humans but multiple species in that bar.

Humans truly are an astounding species. Truly a species that are on all of the extremes, stupidity, ingenuity, violence, poetry and many many more. For now i'll sign off and hope you at the social cultural exchange fellas have a field day with the music file attached to this.

like someday we work amazingly well with no issues whatsoever.

but once that weekly updates comes in.