Work Hard, party harder

"My hat is not useless."

"Well you can't take a hat away from a small child, what if they throw a tantrum? It's a really effective way of getting what you want."

"Yeah, I was kinda hoping he’d have wandered off on his own by now, but I guess he likes me.  I guess I can try and pry him off me and see if he’ll make a run for it, I don’t really have a ton of options, unless I can call animal control, but I don’t really like the thought of that either."

"Umm so what are you going to do with it? It wouldn't make a very good pet."

"Come on kid…give it back."

Why do you need it back? It looks pretty useless to me.

Are you super sure? I’m totally rocking this look.

Yeah.. I'm super sure. Nice try though.

"I’m sure he’s not rabid, he’s just a baby, he probably got separated from his mother and he’s all scared and….I don’t know, I don’t know much about raccoons to be honest."

 "I didn't expect you to be a raccoon expert. Maybe you should just let it run free or something - I doubt 'Lost Raccoon' flyers or shit will help."

"I don’t… Nothing in my life has prepared me for this situation.  What the hell do I do?"

"Oh.. ew. You know it could have like, rabies or something. It doesn't really look wild though."

Not if you know how to work it! -winks-

Umm that's still a no. Sorry.