Grow the FUCK up and learn how to communicate

No shade but some of y’all take that zodiac shit a little tooooo seriously :/

Y’all be like: I’m a fire sign™️ so that’s why I committed tax fraud

mail is dumb

The mail lady saying “NO. I REFUSE to say it again” was more climactic than the Braveheart speech.

it took nine seconds for me to fully process what i was watching and then i started LAUHGHING

I would be dead

NO MORE RED AND ORANGE LAVA IN MOVIES! FROM NOW ON WE HAVE BLUE, GREEN, PURPLE OR EVEN PINK! STOP HOLDING BACK! ESPECIALLY IF ITS AN ALIEN DAMN PLANET! NOT ALL CORES ARE THE SAME!!

the best part of being in a relationship is sharing food

just kidding, even if we are in a relationship I’m not sharing food

Akabsjdndjdn 😭😭😭😭😭

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Then she’s halfway through the pregnancy at that!

I honestly believe that Serena Williams is Wonder Woman

the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.

And SCANDAL WTF

I read an interview with this guy (who is a real news anchor), and he said he told his acting agent that he is ONLY interested in parts where he plays a new anchor. This is no coincidence. This is by design. 

what is his plan

living the dream

Lmaooo

shout out to boys with thick thighs and stomach rolls. to boys with stretch marks. to short boys and boys with high pitched voices. boys who like wearing make up or dresses and boys who defy their “masculine” gender roles. to all boys with acne, eczema and any other skin conditions: you are all valid and worthy of love

911…id like to report something she did Operator: what she do? Me:…that