noot noot

Way to eloquent and articulate Muggleborn-Slytherins don’t say shit like “Mudblood” because it’s just fucking wrong, so instead they say: “your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.” or “you wouldn’t be able to remove a pebble from your shoe with the instructions on the heel!” or “ if your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off!”

and sassy Ravenclaws, absolutely fed up with people asking to copy their homework even though they didn’t do it either, screeching: “I desire that we better be strangers.” and “YOU EGG!” and “If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Voldemort, Lestrange and you, I would shoot you twice.” or “some bring happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.”

also, surprisingly explosive Hufflepuffs: “Don’t fool yourself, my dear. You are much worse than a bitch. You are a saint. Which shows why saints are dangerous and undesirable.” and also, “Dwight! You IGNORANT SLUT!” and let’s not forget: “You pathetic, short little man. You don’t have any friends or any family or any land!”

And then, of course, the Gryffindors: "Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?” followed by:“You know, I’d almost forgotten what your eyes looked like. Still the same. Pissholes in the snow.” and finally:  “Even if I were blind, desperate, starved and begging for it on a desert island, you’d be the last thing I’d ever f*ck.”

Miraculous fluff month Day 17: AU

The team returning from a space mission and a blushy Adrien  (had this concept stuck in my head and finally came to use it)