Even the Sun Sets.

Adam sat in his car for a couple of seconds, glancing into the rear-view mirror to the couple in the rented car behind him. He gave a heavy sigh, hoping he wasn't crossing some sort of line by doing this. In retrospect, he probably should have consulted with Clarissa about this, let her plan and anticipate the visitation from her parents but he was wanted it to be a surprised. He remembered the night not so long ago that they shared their first kiss. The way she had spoken about her parents was filled with love and care. It was clear to anyone just by the tone of her voice, the gleam of her eyes, how much she truly missed her parents. Personally, he had never been close with his,not since the divorce, but that didn't mean he couldn't empathize. The night he had called the Monticello's, he had worked on his speech for days. It took a little to get them to trust him, to explain who he was exactly to their daughter, but afterwards, it hadn't taken much to convince them. The moment he had stressed the fact that Riss truly missed them and needed to see them, the flight to come had been planned rather quickly. And so far, to his surprise, he had managed to keep it a secret. And now, after having picked up her parents at the airport, Adam was ready for Riss to know. Snapping back to reality, Adam unbuckled his seat belt when he saw her parents stepping out of the house. He quickly locked his car and approached them with a warm smile. "This is it." He motioned to the townhouse in front of them. "Just wait by the front door, " He told them as he pulled out his phone and sent Riss a quick message to open the front door. Smiling, he placed his phone back in his pocket and watched from behind her parents, hidden, as Riss opened the door and the smile stretched her lips. It was truly a breathtakingly beautiful sight to see.

Clarissa flipped the page of a trashy magazine she had picked up at the supermarket. Adam hadn't called her in a couple days, and every few moments she looked toward the phone. Her fingers itched, wanting to dial and ask if he wanted to come over and play monopoly. Each time, she would bring her hand back like she had touched a hot stove; it was far too lame to ask him to come over on a Saturday night to play board games with her. Finally, she reached out and grabbed her mobile, and the screen lit up. A grin spread across her face as she read the text, bouncing up from her seat as she rushed to throw open the door. She faltered for a moment at the sight of her parents, fully expecting it to be Adam on the other side, but recovered genuinely as the excitement overwhelmed her. "Mama," she said, voice soft as she threw herself into her mother's arms, wrapping her own slender ones around her shoulders as she nestled her face into her curls. "Hey there, sweetpea," Faith cooed, stroking her daughter's hair. "It's like I'm not even here," came her father's voice, and she raised her head, laughing. Throwing one of her arms to the side, she laughed, "Come on, you know you want to." Nick smirked, putting his arms around the two of them and giving a tight squeeze. Rissa giggled, her entire aura glowing as she stared up at her parents as they stood side-by-side, their arms still around each other. Following her mother's gaze, she turned around and saw Adam, the incandescent smile slipping from her lips as they parted in question. "You did this? For me? How- Nevermind, it doesn't matter." She took a step towards him, not taking her eyes off his. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she looked up at him. "Thank you," she said softly, leaning up on her toes and kissing his cheek. "You could thank him better by inviting him to dinner!" Faith's voice rang out through the night, causing Clarissa to look away in embarrassment.

Adam watched merrily as Rissa's face lit up with unabashed joy as her parents filled her vision. He stood back, eyes downcast and a smile on his lips. He slipped his hands into his pants pocket, giving them a little bit of privacy as they reunited. Adam didn't think he'd ever seen her so happy and it made his chest tighten at the joy. He didn't raise his head again until Rissa's voice rang through the night. At that point, he looked up and smiled at her softly, raising his shoulders in small shrug. His eyes stayed locked on hers as she approached him, enjoying that twinkle of joy shining in her dark eyes. When she was close enough, after kissing his cheek, Adam smiled at her, raising his hand to caress her cheek lovingly before kissing her forehead. He had the urge to kiss her, seeing as he hadn't been near her in a couple of days, but with her parents near, he resisted. He hadn't exactly specified to them what they were in case Clarissa didn't want them to know so he didn't want to cause trouble. "You don't have to thank me...." He whispered back to her but gave a chuckle at her mother's yell. Raising his eyes, Adam gave Faith a smile. "No,no.It's okay. I know you want to spend the night with your daughter."He told them,politely declining the invitation, smiling down at Riss. He didn't want to intrude on a family dinner. "We insist." Faith called out again, and when Adam looked up, he swore he saw a challenge in her eyes for him to decline again. Nick just had a smile on his face so Adam cleared his throat and looked back to Rissa. He let his hand move to her shoulders resting there for a moment before rubbing her arms gently. "I won't come if you don't want to,you know that." He told her softly,

Clarissa shot a glare back at her mother, who merely shrugged with a triumphant smirk. Turning back toward Adam, she shook her head. "No, she won't give this up; you're coming to dinner. I do want you there though," she explained, her palms running over his shoulders before taking his hands in her own. "You surviving the car ride with my mother bodes well for you surviving the rest of the evening, so you should be safe." She cracked a smile to let him know she was joking though she really wasn't. Her mother would sniff out anything someone had to hide; it was a talent that had proved very useful in high school when she was trying to weed out the boys who would use her and who would actually care about her. It wasn't that she thought her mother would find something wrong with Adam, but she knew she would try. She turned around, ushering everyone inside her home, her father's voice coming before she had even closed the door all the way. "We assumed you didn't learn how to cook in six months, so we told your friend to stop by a pizza place. But have you seen the crust on the pizzas out here? There's no support and-" "And so we picked up three pounds of breadsticks instead," Faith interjected, rolling her eyes at the story. "Where are your glasses, sweetpea?" she asked, and Clarissa pointed toward the clear-faced cabinet in the kitched. Her mother returned with four glasses, placing them around the table as Nick popped open the boxes of breadsticks. As they sat around the table, Faith glanced between Clarissa and Adam. "So...what do you do, Adam?"

Adam nodded his head at her, eyes still locked on her face. "Okay then,"He said, taking her hands in his with a short laugh. He wouldn't lie, her parents intimidated the hell of him. It had been a long time since he had to earn the respect of parents. Georgia's parents had loved him, sure, but he had been younger then, he had more charm. He had lost all of that with age and with his loss. Following them into the house, Adam took his coat off and put it on the coat rack before joining the family in the kitchen. Adam settled into the chair near Rissa, resting his hand on her knee as a comfort for him mostly. Clearing his throat, he smiled at Faith. He could feel the interrogation coming and while he was slightly frightened at the questions that might rise about his past. "I'm actually a professor as well. I teach advanced chemistry at Harbor. We - Riss and I - teach on opposite sides of campus." He told them, glancing over at Rissa with a smile. "I've been teaching for a while now." Once everyone had served themselves some bread-sticks, he grabbed a couple as well. He saw Nick and Faith exchange a look before another question was thrown at him. "Why haven't you been married yet? You are educated and attractive, I'm surprised you aren't married." Faith asked him, eyes digging deep into his, trying to see into him in a way he wanted no one to see except Clarissa. Exchanging a look with her, Adam cleared his throat. "I was married.....a long time ago but.....it didn't last." He voice got a little quieter with every word as he glanced down at his glass.

Clarissa chewed quietly on one of the breadsticks, eyes flicking from her mother to Adam as they spoke. Smiling back at him, she turned her head toward her mother. Her mouth still held the remnants of her smile, but her eyes cautioned her to be on better behavior. Still, the older woman continued asking questions. The next one was one she had asked herself, but she still felt the heat rising in her cheeks as it lobbed across the table. "Mama!" The reprimand slipped through her gritted teeth in one breath, her dark eyes now screaming the warning. It was clear to her that his marriage was something he didn't wish to talk about, especially not in front of strangers. Even she only had a toe in the world he kept hidden and locked away; though, to be fair, he was only a couple of steps into hers. Looking toward him, she placed her hand over his as a comfort, watching as he shrank in on himself. More and more she wondered what his wife had done to leave him so eviscerated. Sparing a chance, she looked up at her parents, following their gaze to her hand still atop Adam's. She brought it back to her lap quickly, avoiding the question that was screaming from her parents' lips: who is this man to you really? Clearing his throat, Nick broke the silence. "Faith, we had a deal tonight: no work when we're with Rissa. No one is on trial here," he said, a hearty laugh leaving his lips before he took a sip of wine. "So Adam, what are your intentions with our daughter?" he deadpanned.

Adam turned his head slightly to look at Rissa when she gave an outburst. With her hand now on top of his, Adam let his thumb graze hers in silent communication that he was alright with the questions. It was to be excepted. How could it not be? Clarissa had come from an abusive marriage and here she was with another man. Adam could hardly blame her parents for being cautious. He had tried to remain discreet with their connection at first but the moment that she had approached him, with that look of wonder in her deep eyes, Adam hadn't been able to resist the temptation to be near her. They had given away their bond in that second and he wasn't ashamed of it. Granted, while they hadn't defined what they were,what they both wanted, Adam had come under the realization that he suddenly knew what he wanted. At her father's question, he had managed to figure it out. For so long he had let his loss of Georgia hide him away.He had loved her,he had grieved for her and he would never forget her but he knew it was time to move on. It was time for him to find his peace and happiness like Georgia had done for herself in her own way. He wanted to be with Riss, to build a new life between them with little baby steps. He wanted her to heal him like he would try to heal her. Now, all he needed to do was clear it up with her that he wanted exclusivity but that was a conversation for another day. Clearing his throat, Adam turned his eyes to Riss for a moment,just taking her in before turning to her father. "My intention.....is to be whoever she needs me to be. To make sure that's she's okay and even when she's not,to remind her that it's okay to not be fine once in a while. I want to....protect her from knowing what pain is ever again." He paused, a smile stretching his lips as his gaze turned back to Clarissa. "My intention is make her happy in any way I can and in any way she wants." His words were soft as he caught her eyes before traveling back to her parents and clearing his throat. He watched her parents eyes on him, trying to get a reading from them but it was damn near impossible to do so. "Which is why I brought you here....she missed you dearly and I knew she needed to see you."

Clarissa knew Adam was squirming a little at the questions, and it wasn't right for her parents to put him on trial like they were. She understood their desire to: they didn't know him. The daughter who was broken when she had left Chicago was smiling and touching a man they didn't know. She was two thousand miles - not thirty blocks - away from them with a man who might hurt her worse than she'd already been. As Adam began speaking, she turned her head back toward him, catching his eyes before he turned away from her. Her eyes fixed on his jaw as it worked, her eyebrows going up as she listened. Vince had wanted her to heal as well, but he had wanted her to do so in his way. One had to be positive to feel happy, and there was no room for bad days. And so when all she had were bad days, days when she couldn't get out of bed or eat or comb her hair, he had all-but given up on trying to heal her. But how could she expect him to understand the winter when he had only known her in full bloom. Adam was different; he wanted her even in her lows, so there was nowhere to go but up. She wanted to heal with him, to bloom and grow again with him. When he looked at her again, she wanted nothing more than to steal a kiss from him, but although it was the perfect time, the setting was not ideal. As he turned back toward her parents, her lips parted as she started at him for a moment in awe. Snapping back to reality as a wide smile spread across her lips, she let her gaze drift toward her parents' stony faces as well. "Come on guys, that was a pretty good answer." Both broke at the same time, Faith's lips stretching into a bright smile while Nick nodded with a small grin. "I don't think we have much to worry about with you; you seem alright and Clarissa...oh, sweetpea..." Her mother leaned across the table, taking Rissa's cheeks gently in her hands. "You look like yourself again. That smile, oh don't you just love that smile?"

Adam stared between both her parents and Rissa, the stony expressions worn by the Hardins made him squirm slightly. He wanted them to like him because they were so important to her and he didn't want the only thing to stand in their way to be her parents. The tension was growing until Riss spoke up and he let out a short laughter, returning the smile her parents offered. A warm smile reached his lips as Faith reached over to cup Riss's cheeks. HE turned slightly in his chair to look at Riss and grinned at her. "Yeah....I really love that smile." He whispered, answering Faith's question but mostly talking to Clarissa. Snapping out his trance, Adam shook his and met Nick's eyes. He was looking at him, trying to analyze him almost. They looked at each other for a couple of seconds before Nick nodded at him, offering him a smile. At that point, Adam relaxed slightly, finally taking a sip of the wine. "So..."Adam started, settling comfortably into his chair. "Did you guys decide how long you want to stay? You were still undecided from the last time we spoke." Adam asked, part of him hoping that they would decide to stay long for Rissa's sake but another wishing they didn't so he could have time with his Rissa now that he had his revelation.

Clarissa groaned in protest, though a giggle still left her lips as she felt her mother's hands on her face, cooing over her like she had when she was young. "You know, I almost feel like myself again," she told them, though the truth of it was stretched a bit. She still woke up screaming in the middle of the night and couldn't look at a pool without feeling nauseous, but she was slowly starting to find herself again. Glancing back toward Adam, she lowered her eyes and grinned widely, heat rising in her cheeks. She coughed nervously, taking a sip of wine so that she wouldn't have to see the smirk that reached her mother's eyes. At the new question, however, her eyes went wide in preparation for their response. "Well," Nick started, "we just wrapped up a case, and we only have one ongoing." A glance was exchanged between the three of them before Rissa's raised her glass again to hide her eyes. Even so, she could still feel the tell-tale signs of the knowledge on her face: lips tight, jaw set, eyebrows furrowed, cheeks heating up, throat dry, tongue heavy. It was discreet, Nick flowing into his next sentence within a beat. "I'd say we can stay a week or so," he finished, looking to Faith for approval. "Yeah, we should be able to swing that. Let the intern take a couple cases; maybe if he gets a couple vases thrown at his head, he won't start crying the next time I pour coffee down his pants," she agreed, taking a sip of wine as she finished her anecdote. Nick nodded, "It worked for me." Clarissa snickered, having missed hearing her parents' banter and carry on the way they did. Briefly, she looked over at Adam and started laughing harder at his wide eyes. "Hey, don't look so scared; there isn't even pot of hot coffee in the vicinity," she barely managed to get out, burying her face in his shoulder as she tried to compose herself.

Adam nodded his head lightly, listening to Nick as he spoke. He had tried to convince them to stay as long as they could for their daughter's sake intially but they had not been so sure, mostly because of their line of work and he understood that. While he spoke, Adam suddenly felt like he was missing something. The three of them exchanged a look, a look he couldn't quite place and when Riss lowered her eyes, Adam's brows furrowed in confusion. He looked between them discreet,and for a moment, he questioned why this ongoing case seemed to bring so much tension to the air. He didn't have much time to ponder it - and maybe part of him didn't really want to - before Nick continued speaking. "Ah. Well, I'm glad you decided to stay a while." The wine glass was brought to his lips when the sentence ended. He had the rim right at the brim of his nose when Faith brought up the intern. He choked for a moment, eyes going wide at the story. He realized that while he may have gotten the approval, he knew if he made one mistake, he might as well be doomed. His eyes still slightly wide, he looked at Riss with fear in the blue depths. As she laughed however, Adam finally regained his composure and laughed with her. He wrapped his arms around her thin form, laughing into her hair. He kissed the top of her head, still chuckling as he said, "Remind me not to mess with your coffee." He joke, still holding her before remembering they weren't exactly alone. Clearing his throat, Adam turned back to face her parents after composing himself. A quick glance at the clock showed him it was later then he thought it had been. "I should get going, let you guys get some rest."

Adam: Today…this day was and would always be the worst day of Adam’s life. No matter how long it had been, no matter what new memories were being made….nothing would change that on this day Adam felt like he couldn’t breathe. Inside…he was barren and cold. This day had been the same as it had been for the past six years. Morning had come, sweeping him under the cold waters of grief and pain. He hadn’t had the energy to get out of bed but still he had pushed himself off it. He had driven to their old home, stopping at the dock where his life had ended. He lost count of how long he had sat on the edge of the dock, submerging his feet into the water and staring blankly into the dark waters. Adam got lost, sucked in by memories he wished he could so desperately could forget, emotions he wished he didn’t know existed. He relieved the day he lost everything, tormenting himself with the endless amount of ‘what ifs?’ It wasn’t until he felt the tingling of numbness in his feet that he pulled them out and stood. He spare an emotionless glance back at the waters before putting on his shoes and walking away. He drove on autopilot until he reached the graveyard where he had buried his world. He stepped out, holding the bouquet of flowers tightly. When the black tombstone was in his sight, he gave a shaky sigh before placing the flowers down against the tombstone. He stepped back, burying hands into his pockets. Adam didn’t know how long he stood there for, didn’t know when the first tear dropped or the second but the next thing he knew, he was on his knees, fingers buried in his hair as quaking sobs shook his body. He didn’t know how long he knelt there, crying and begging for forgiveness from his beautiful wife and baby boy and asking them to understand that he hadn’t known…he hadn’t known anything was wrong. As his grief overwhelmed him, guilt suddenly flooded him as well. Guilt because, here he was, moving on. He had found someone, and he knew he could fall in love with this new person, build a life with her and that thought wrecked him. How could he think like that? How could he replace them so easily? The guilt and grief consumed him, choking him from air, tearing him apart from the inside out. And that’s how he found himself sitting inside the waiting room of the F.R.E.E Clinic, waiting for his name to be called for the consultation. He had sworn that he would never do this, never forget his wife or his son…..but he just couldn’t take it any more. Covering his mouth with his hands, Adam tried to ignore the tears that didn’t seem to stop from falling and trained his eyes to the nurses walking about the room.

Clarissa sat in the back of the cab, thumbing through the series of texts Vince had sent her since she'd left Chicago. Her thumb hovered over his name, daring her to call him, but she knew that if she did, all the progress she had made would be for naught. Just hearing his voice would send her back to the year before, to all the fights and the tears and the pity, and she could't feel that way anymore. Her thumb slipped from his name to the edit button, deleting all his messages and effectively erasing her husband from her mind, at least for the time being. She leaned back agains the worn leather seats, watching as Harbor's lights flashed by. As they passed by the F.R.E.E. clinic, her gut twist and churn. At first, she assumed it was a subconscious reaction to her own indecision to go through with the treatment, but then she spotted a familiar vehicle in the parking lot. "Stop!" she yelled at the driver. The cab slammed forward, her face nearly hitting the glass before she paid the man and quickly got out. Her heels clicked against the pavement, her heart thundering as the sound forced old memories to come floating back to the surface. Throwing open the clinic doors, she hastily scanned over the waiting room population, her eyes landing on a sight she had yet to see. Adam sat in one of the chairs, half his face covered by his hands. As she took a careful step forward, more of his features became apparent: his swollen eyes told her that he'd spent much of the day crying, the brown stain on his trousers informed her that he'd been kneeling in the dirt, and his dishevelled hair suggested that he'd had his hands in it more than once. All the signs were eerily familiar to her, but she couldn't imagine it was for the same reason. Even so, she still knew how to handle someone in the state he was in. "Hey," she said quietly, taking the chair next to him. "I'd ask you how you are, but...you're here, so that answers that question." Even with the ambient noise of the clinic, the silence that followed was deafening. "Sorry, that was stupid, let me try again." She took a deep breath, breathing out through her nose before she looked at him again, her eyes determined and jaw set. "What do you need?" she asked, searching his baby blues for the answer to her question.

Adam blinked his tired eyes, his mind racing along thoughts too fast for him to actually focus on one. In reality, he knew he wasn't in the present time. He was in his past, reliving old memories that would soon disappear. He was trying so hard to remember what it had felt like to kiss Georgia, to walk up to her smile. He was pulling any memory of Isaac, of holding him for the first time, of feeling him kick for the first time. He wanted to grasp onto those memories, hold them dear because he knew that once the pain was gone....well those memories would be gone too. The thought sickened him to his stomach because not only would he lose them, he knew that in order for the treatment to remain effective, he would need to lose Clarissa too. But the pain was just too much for him to handle. It was consuming him, suffocating him and he knew he wasn’t strong enough to overpower the pain. His eyes were glassy, his cheeks lined with streams of tears. When Rissa’s familiar voice reached his ears, Adam didn’t turn to look at her, didn’t acknowledge her in the least. Why? Why did she have to come here? Didn’t she get that he was here for a reason? At her question, Adam released a shaky breath, burying his head in his hands. “Leave.” He whispered into his hands but when she didn’t move he knew she hadn’t heard him. He lifted his head then, meeting her eyes for the first time since she had sat down next to him. His eyes were swimming with pain and they begged her to understand. ”I need you to leave. Just….just go Clarissa.”

Clarissa was floored by his words. The simple request rang in her ears, his hoarse voice repeating on a loop like a scratched record. Blinking, she snapped her jaw closed and adjusted her approach. Staring into the deep pools of his eyes, she shook her head. "No, I don't think that's what you need," she declared simply, her voice even. "I think that's what you want because it would be easier to give up if I wasn't here, but I am." The words came to her automatically, as though she was delivering them from a dog-eared script she'd been rehearsing for months. A bitter taste filled her mouth as she bit her tongue, finally remembering why the whole scenario seemed so familiar. She might as well have been Vince a year ago, begging her to pick herself up off the floor after she told him for the hundredth time to just leave her alone. "We've all been in this waiting room in some way, Adam. We've all had days where the sun doesn't shine, where you look in the mirror and you hate yourself, where you want to push away the people who care about you. So yes, I know that you want me to leave, but I don't think that's what you need." Sighing, she withdrew her gaze from his and let it wander to the other patients that surrounded them. Quietly, she took his hand. "What do you need?" she asked again, her thumb grazing over the back of his knuckles.

Adam grew more and more frustrated as Clarissa spoke. His eyes stayed glued to hers, seeing the determination there, the sympathy, but he didn’t want to see it. She was right. He wanted her gone because it would be easier to do this without her. Clarissa was an anchor to him right now, keeping him glued to reality when the past seemed nearly impossible to forget. Now, well…now all he wanted to do was forget and the more she spoke, the more frustrated he grew. Heaving a heavy sigh, Adam looked away from her, yanking his hand away from hers before running it through his hair. “You don’t get it, do you? You think this is easy for me?” His voice was rising slightly with every word that slipped past his lips. “I’m about to forget my life! So no it’s not easy for me to do it with or without you here!” He scoffed and shook his head, looking down for a moment before looking up at her. “ I live in the past every single day and I cannot breathe, Clarissa! I can’t breathe! The pain….the misery is crippling and I’m tired of it so I need to and I want to do this! I can’t keep reliving the worst day of my life! I can’t and maybe you can’t understand that but I can’t do it! I cant keep losing my fa….I just can’t do it! But I can’t lose all of that and keep you, so leave! Right now, I need you to go! So go!” Adam started at her, his arm outstretched and pointing to the clinic doors. He didn’t even realize that he had started to cry again, didn’t notice how the movement of the clinic had stopped at his outburst. He just kept looking at her, unable to look away as he silently apologized to her. She didn’t deserve this, Riss had been there for him, had helped him but if she was here, Adam knew he wouldn’t do this and he couldn’t handle the grief anymore. The room was quiet until a nurse cleared her throat, “Mr. Monroe….we’re ready for you.” He blinked at the words, inhaling sharply before standing. “Rissa….please just go. You don’t need this…you don’t need me. Please….”

Clarissa shrank back from him as he raised his voice. Her throat constricted, and she had to battle to retain her composure as the man in front of her - the sweet, gentle man who had agreed to let her in - flew off the handle. He wasn't the man she'd come to trust, and fear crippled her as she began to think that she had never really known him at all. The more logical part of her brain told her this wasn't so, that he was just hurting and pushing her away was part of it, but the tears welled up in her eyes all the same. She was silent as he continued to spit accusations her way, too petrified of him to even move. Her eyes wandered over the occupants of the waiting room, the crowd stunned into silence as well as the watched the altercation. Her mouth dry and eyes wide, her gaze shifted to the nurse as she came in and then back to him as he pleaded with her once more to leave. All the fight had left him, but it's when her own kindled inside of her again. She stood suddenly, becoming a barrier between Adam and the nurse. "If you want to put all this on me, all this pain and suffering, that's fine. I can take it," she told him, her voice still wavering and unsteady. Her body language told a different story, however; she was ready to fight. "But I will not stand here while you make your assumptions about who I am and what I've been through. You think I don't get what you're going through, but I do. I have five locks on my door because I'm afraid of the evil of what's outside it. I cry myself to sleep every night, and when I wake up, I lay in bed for hours sometimes because I know I have to live another day feeling like this. And then when I close my eyes..." She demonstrated, her eyes fluttering closed, her fists balling tight so that her fingernails cut into her flesh. Her lips trembled first, her entire body following as pale eyes flashed across her mind and her own screams and pleas echoed in her ears. "...I can still see the worst day of my life like it's happening all over again." Riss opened her eyes slowly, the tears glimmering off her cheeks as she looked at him. "I can finally breathe again...please...don't do this."

Adam glanced away from her, trying to ignore the fact that there was fear in her beautiful eyes, fear he had instilled in her from his outburst. Sighing again, Adam shook his head and turned away, giving the nurse the okay to lead the way. He had taken a step, maybe two when suddenly the nurse was no longer in his field of vision and Clarissa stood in her place. Adam exhaled harshly through his nose, running his hand across his face in frustration. Adam watched her and he felt guilty that she was fighting for him, fighting for a lost cause. What had he done? Why had he gotten involved with her? Sure, she was probably just as broken as he was but she deserved someone whole, someone better than him. Instead of helping her, he was only causing her pain by trying to cure his own misery. The more she spoke, the more he was realizing that this was a mistake, it was the easy way out. He couldn’t do that to the memory of his family, even if he would suffer for years to come. Not only that, but he couldn’t do that Clarissa. There were days when the world seemed to be caving in on him, he couldn’t function, he couldn’t breathe but then…he would see Riss from across the campus, across the faculty lounge….and suddenly, air would rush through him and he’d actually breathe again and smile. His hand started to shake, eyes brimming with tears that just couldn’t fall anymore as he watched her cry. Stepping towards her, Adam lifted a hand to her cheek, his thumb wiping away her tears. “I…..I’m sorry…..I just….I couldn’t take it anymore….it’s been six years….” His voice cracked and he pulled her in, burying his face into her hair and let himself cry.

Clarissa didn't know how long she stood there, her thin frame shaking as the tears streamed down her cheeks and fell in little droplets off her chin. Every single eye in the clinic was on her, and her heart dropped into her stomach, it's rhythm churning out the worst feelings in her. She wanted to run all the way back to her house, slam the door shut, and lock all five of her locks before truly disappearing from them all and their sickening, poisonous gaze. Her will was fading quickly, and she knew that she couldn't fight him anymore. Silent seconds passed, but then she felt the soft feel of his hand against her cheek. She leaned into the touch, taking his hand in hers and laying a soft kiss on his palm. "I know," she whispered before she was pulled flush against him. Her cheek rested on his chest, and her arms curved around under his to hold him tight. She couldn't lose him, not now, not when she was just starting to recognize herself again. As he pulled away from her, she placed a hand on his neck, her thumb stroking over his jawline as she smiled up at him wistfully. "We're in this together. I'm here for you, Adam...always...I'll do whatever you need, but I couldn't let you make this mistake."

Adam pressed a kiss to the top of Rissa's head, taking in a steady breath to try to collect himself. Pulling away, Adam looked down at her tenderly,smiling softly at her. She had no idea what her words meant to him. They were everything at the moment. He needed to know that he wasn't alone right now because, the truth was, he couldn't be alone right now. When this day came around, he was always at his worst but this year had been particularly rough. He knew it was due to the fact that he was allowing himself to move on and the guilt of doing that was eating him alive. In the end, he knew that it was problem he needed to solve on his own and that by taking F.R.E.E, his problems wouldn't have been solved, if anything, he was just avoiding them. She was right, it was a mistake. Doing this would have the biggest regret of his down the line. "I know....I was just....I couldn't see clearly for a little bit but thank you for stopping me, Riss." He whispered, tucking her hair behind her ear before leaning down and kissing her sweetly. When he pulled away, Adam pulled her to his side,tucking her his arm as he turned to face the nurse who had adverted her eyes from the couple. "I'm sorry but....I can't go through with this anymore." He told the woman and it seemed like she was about try to convince him otherwise but decided against and simply nodded her head. Adam gave her a brief smile before starting to walk toward the door. "How...how did you know where I was?" He asked Rissa as they exited the building.

Clarissa looked up at him, her dark eyes glimmering against the harsh hospital lighting. She smiled softly as he thanked her, but there was really no need for him to. If she had to be his clarity when his world grew dark, she would happily do so for him. As he leaned down to kiss her, she inhaled slowly, the crook of her elbow wrapping around his neck as she breathed him in. The taste of their intermingled tears remained on her lips as he pulled away from her. She turned, her body perpendicular to the nurse she'd been standing in front of. She could read the words that didn't cross her lips as easily as if she'd actually spoken them: love is not a cure. Their sweet kisses and promises wouldn't make them stop what they were running from - she knew that - but she didn't want to think about the true trials they would have to face. At that moment, she was content to still have a place in Adam's arms, regardless of the future. Returning the nurse's nod, she kept step with Adam as they made their way to the exit. "I didn't," she replied, glancing up at him. "I was in a cab on my way home when I saw your car parked outside the clinic." The next question was so obvious that it was scorching the surface of her tongue, waiting to be let out. Cautiously, she asked, "Will you tell me what happened? You said you'd been living with this for six years...why now?"

Adam nodded at Rissa's answer; he had been curious as to how she could have possibly known where to find him seeing as he didn't tell anyone where he would today. They exited the clinic, Adam trying to desperately ignore the murmurs of the people they were leaving behind in the clinic. He knew he had made a scene and there would chatter about it, but he just didn't want to hear it. Making their way to his car, Adam tensed when she spoke the question he was hoping she wouldn't ask, He could hardly blame her for asking. Around her, for the most part, he had been able to keep a smile on his face, only letting her seeing the extent of his damage once in a great while so how could he not expect her to be curious of why he had suddenly given up? He took a deep breath, too large for his lungs to hold before exhaling through his nose. He didn't speak again until they had made it to his car and had climbed inside, mulling over the possibility of opening up to her. He wanted to....but he simply couldn't. Saying his past aloud....it would only break him further. "No....I won't tell you what happened....I just can't tell you what happened." He paused, turning to face her so she could see that it was physically painful to even broach the topic lightly. "But I can tell you that you’re the reason I broke down today." The moment her expression morphed, he knew he had worded that completely wrong. "What I meant was.....I've been used to dealing with this alone. What happened between my wife and I has always been painful and I have always harbored guilt but now with you in the picture....I....I'm moving on and it frightens the shit out of me and I feel awful for it. It feels like betrayal even though it's not." He whispered, reaching over to grab her hand. His thumb traced over her knuckles, his eyes taking in the way her tiny hand fit perfectly against his. He gave a shaky sigh, turning the car on before speaking again. "I may be asking too much....and I don't want you take this the wrong way...but I don’t think Icon be alone tonight. Can you....would you....?” He stumbled over his words, feeling pathetic and absurd. He was a grown man, he shouldn’t need company just because he was upset. IT wasn't fair to Rissa to be placed on the spotlight, especially with him knowing how she reacted the last they had spent the night together and that had been a complete accident. "Never mind, let's take you home.” He forced a smile on his face before releasing her hand so he could start backing out of his parking spot.

Clarissa listened in silence as he explained himself. She understood that he couldn't tell her everything, but she just needed something, just a small piece to hang onto so she could help him. One couldn't help with a cure if one didn't know the diagnosis. She was about to drop the subject when he spoke up again, his words chilling her. She had caused his collapse? Her gaze grew dark as she hesitated before getting in the car with him, an apology for whatever pain she had caused already forming on her lips. As he explained himself, relief swept over her, but it was mixed with dark empathy. Even if she hadn't been the cause, Adam was still hurting. Leaning over the center console of the car, she placed her hand gently on his shoulder. "Wouldn't she want you to be happy though?" she asked softly, toeing the thin line between being helpful and intrusive. It wasn't as though she had no idea what she was talking about, however. Her own guilt about moving on after her marriage fell apart had been weighing heavily on her, but Vincent had stopped being what she needed. In college and afterward, he was perfect for her, but she hadn't even been able to recognize herself after the attack, much less him. Still, she wanted him to be happy. He deserved happiness, just like she did. Just like Adam did. At his request for her to spend the night, she instinctively drew her hand back, visibly startled. "No, wait," she said as he withdrew the request. A million voices in her head were screaming at her, telling her that this was a terrible idea, that he would hurt her and leave her for dead, but one voice at the back of her mind, the only one that wasn't tainted by trauma, whispered that she had nothing to fear. It was her voice of reason and the one she'd been listening to more and more since she'd met him. "I...I want to be there for you." It wasn't as though Adam would try anything with her tonight, she thought. He just needed someone to be there with him as a comfort, not as some tool to help him feel better. "I told you: whatever you need, I'll do it."

Adam sighed at her question. It was the normal one to ask, why wouldn’t an ex-wife want to their husband to be happy? The problem was that if Georgia had truly wanted him to be happy, she wouldn’t have killed herself. She wouldn’t have stolen his kid from him. She wouldn’t have left him broken, with no clue how to make it alive from the mess she made. Eyes on the road, Adam cleared his throat in a vain attempt to try to make the lump in his throat disappear. “I’m not quite sure that’s what she wanted when she left.” He told her quietly. His eyes widened slightly in shock as she told him she would stay with him. It hadn’t been what he had expect. In fact, he had expected the exact opposite. As they exited the parking lot and head to his house, Adam inhaled a deep breath, reaching over the center console to grab her soft hand. “Thank you….It’s just been such a bad day.” His voice cracked, tears welling in his baby blues again but he held them at bay. The rest of the car ride was silent and Adam was thankful for it. He didn’t want to discuss this day anymore. It had taken more from him than what he had to give. Pulling up to his driveway, Adam sat still for a moment before bringing the back of her hand to his lips and giving it a tender kiss. He got out of the car without a word and walked around the car to open her door, his hand outstretched for her to take. Once they were inside, Adam took off his jacket and rubbed his eyes. “I’m…going to bed. “ He turned to look at her, his eyes softening as they met her deep browns. “I don’t want to make you uneasy so I can stay on the couch and you can take the bed….I just didn’t want to be alone here because I know I would have gone back to the clinic…”

Clarissa smiled softly in his direction as he took her hand, letting him know that it she didn't need his thanks. Their relationship was all about pushing boundaries, and their evening together had so far pushed a few, so what were a couple more when it was all for the sake healing? Streetlights sent beams flickering across his face, and she watched as the warm hues danced across his features. They caught the tears that brimmed in his eyes but refused to fall. Clarissa turned her head, her bottom lip between her teeth as she tried to give him as much privacy as she could. A heavy silence filled the rest of the car ride, and Rissa's mind was free to wander around all the possibilities of what could have made Adam deteriorate so completely. The thought had briefly crossed her mind in the clinic, but now she had minutes mounting minutes to sift through all the clues. None of it added up, however. Divorces were simple, they happened every day. Former spouses either cheered to be free from their metaphorical shackles or cried for a month or two then moved on. Adam was still gutted, still raw enough after five years to want to have his memories erased, memories he would never be able to replicate. It all came down to a single question that she felt she might never answer: what had his wife done to him? As they pulled up outside the house, she turned her head back in his direction, a worn smile on her lips. The events that had transpired just in the past hour were weighing down her eyelids and all she really wanted to do was curl up and sleep for the next twelve hours. Walking inside, she dropped her purse on his coffee table and looked around. Adam's home was gorgeous, but it felt...cold. Staged. While her own home was adorned with bouquets, candles, and photographs of smiling family members and friends, Adam's was bare, as though even his home was trying to keep her from answering her question. Spinning around as he made his suggestion, she worried her lip as she thought. "I think..." she started softly, wanting desperately to give him every possible chance to get through this rough period. Before she could even get the rest of her sentence out, every possible terrible ending to the scenario flashed through her mind at once. "...nevermind." Even if the worst didn't happen, it was still likely that she would wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and kicking and clawing her way out of a night terror. She couldn't subject him to something so violent, especially after the day he'd had. "But I'll take the couch," she insisted, walking over the the sofa and plopping down as if to claim it so he couldn't argue with her.

Adam wasn’t in the least bit surprised at her hesitance. Part of him had been hoping she would have suggested staying in bed with him, but in reality, he knew she wouldn’t. He could hardly blame her, after all he was starting to pick out things that made Rissa uncomfortable. He was about to protest her sleeping on the couch but the moment she sat down on it, a look of determination in her eyes, Adam knew there was no way he was getting her off the couch. Adam nodded at her, a soft smile on his features. “Okay. “ He whispered, “I’ll get you some blankets.” A couple of minutes later, Adam came back with a pillow and a few clean sheets. Walking around the couch until he was in front of her, he placed the blankets on the couch along with the pillow and bent down in front of her so he was more or else at eye level with her. His right hand went up to cup her cheek, his thumb caressing her soft skin before his hand traveled to cup the back of her neck. He pulled her forward slightly, leaning towards her until their lips met. He kissed her, lips moving tenderly against hers before he pulled away and rested their forehead together. “Thank you for everything” He whispered, moving to kiss her forehead before standing up. “I’ll see you in the morning.” With that, Adam walked toward his bed room. IT took him a couple of minutes to get ready for bed but once he was under his blankets, it didn’t take him long to fall sleep. The day’s events had taken their toll on his body and there wasn’t much he could do to fight the fatigue that plagued him.