daydreamer

             ‘ you don’t have to apologize, ’ he tried to give the other a warm smile, maybe that would make him calmer. anyway, taehyun appreciated the other’s c o n c e r n; that said a lot in the FRIEND that he always trusted that the younger would be. ‘ i was at a wedding, a ex’s wedding, and this isn’t the kind of cliché that i’m going to be crying over because he wasn’t marrying me instead. no, i’m quite happy that he found a girl good enough to support his mannerism, ’ tae laughed softly, it wasn’t a melodious laugh but it wasn’t altogether a lie. he kept his fingers around his cup in the hope that it would serve to warm him somehow. ‘ it’s just… weddings. they’re so beautiful they kind of make me out of blue, you know ?? ’ he shrugged briefly. ‘ but it’s okay, you don’t have to worry about your hyung, but thank you. ’

             he thanked the sugar with a simple nod, it didn’t take long to get his attention back to ace once again. ‘ suddenly i’m hearing this more than i usually hear lately, ’ the laughter that escaped his lips was nothing if not forced, showing one side of himself that he was sure that the younger didn’t know until there, and which he didn’t W A N T E D the other to know — that’s why taehyun settled into his chair and tried to compose himself. ‘ i’m just fine, kid. thank you, ’ he bowed again, too much for someone who was just trying to act normal. ‘ just because i didn’t hit at you right when i saw you doesn’t mean there’s something wrong, okay ?? i’m going to give you some b r e a k from your accidental aegyo. ’

p r o c e s s i n g  words, hitched breaths rolled over lips ( guilt was burning more, stinging flesh — he didn’t want to make ace feel anything other than HAPPY and by jeaki being here… he wasn’t following that goal ), but composure was quickly forced upon his being — as the lump that was swelling, choking the boy, was  s w a l l o w e d  — so, he was able to match words with actions. “ i’m sure, ” he responded, words slipping in a whisper, as reassurance melted over features ( a gentle smile settling ), “ please, don’t look so worried. ” it was CLEAR he’d had practice, pretending and  l y i n g —— even if it was more difficult when in front of ace ( jeaki was only doing it for his benefit… right? ). fingers curled around the arms of the chair he’d been positioned in and he forced himself to his feet ( dismissing the  w a v e s  of nausea and dizziness that played, the moment he was upright ), slow steps  c a r r y i n g  his body in the direction of the other, “ i just want to go home, ” he hummed, words hinted with desperation ( though there was a brightness forced upon features ), “ i —— i just need to get dismissed… and we can go — i think. ” a  s h a k e n  breath exuded, before a falling smile tugged back upwards, “ i’ll find the nurse… they’ll let me go now i’m accompanied… just wait here ? ” 

✧*.    “ call me GRANDPA one more time, i swear to god ! ” their threat’s immediate, commonly following instances where the younger refers to him as other names relating to age. through the bickering, minjae’s voice seems to have risen, and when he directs attention toward ace once more, the sudden change throws even him through a loop. “ sorry, ” voice hitches partway, the singular word sounding choppy. cue the clearing of his throat, as minjae uses his FREE hand to gather the nearby notebook. “ he can be a bit of a h a n d f u l sometimes, ” they pause, tilting their head in momentary thought. “ – or rather, ALL the time. ” there, that sounds better, he thinks. tension eases in their shoulder blades and they’re visibly more relaxed ( though, it’s not that sehyun burdens them – if anything, he’s a joy to be around ). sehyun’s akin to a child however, constantly leaving minjae on his toes, expending his energy through looking after him and attempting to keep up with him. “ now, where were we ? ” their head’s an ENTANGLEMENT of various thoughts ; the elder’s unsure of where they left off, having forgotten even what the day’s lesson plan is. 

IM.JAE : by ‘ quite different, ’ i hope you mean ‘ good ’ IM.JAE : ah, you did~ thank you !  IM.JAE : what colour were you thinking ?  IM.JAE : though whatever you do, don’t let sehyun dye your hair.  IM.JAE : unless you want your neck and forehead the same colour 😒

guilt had  f l o o d e d  through blood, like a POISON ( intoxicating his body further, as each second  p a s s e d ), following the moment his message to the other had been marked with DELIVERED —— and he knew that he couldn’t back out, hide his whereabouts && act that nothing had gone wrong… that he hadn’t let the demons take over and had them almost WIN ( a bittersweet victory ). with the knowledge that he was being collected ( making him feel like a child, about to be claimed by a parent from the schoolyard ), jeaki FORCED his frame the bed and flopped, somewhat lifelessly, his aching limbs over an arm chair ( discomfort seeping through skin ), despite it being against the recommendation of nurses ——— jeaki wasn’t one for disobeying ( it was KNOWN that his nature strayed him from such behaviourism’s ), however, all he had done, since his submission, was the very opposite of the nurse’s recommendations. he knew that he should have been occupying the hospital bed for several days longer, before he would have been presented with the SUGGESTION of submission into a mental health facility, he’d done this before ( and more than once… really, he thought he’d never be doing it again ) and he was well aware of the procedure… so, for THIS occasion, he opted not to follow it. and they couldn’t stop him. there was a hushed creak, that broke through the painful silence, triggering the small male to jolt upwards in his seat ( an attempt to look  l e s s  weary —— even if his drained skin told another story ), before his dark hues rested. acquainted with the boy he had ached to see the most ( and, yet, why did it hurt so much ?? ), warmth attempted to paint onto features, a forced smile spreading on his lips —— despite the REACTION… he was going to fake everything ( he couldn’t hurt the other… jeaki felt incapable of doing so ). “ ace, ” words bubbled, his voice was weak ( broken ), “ —— i told you, nothing serious… didn’t i? ” and, though, it hurt to  l i e, he knew it would hurt more to tell the truth.