아름다운 장미가 피는 법

             time brought the answer that junsun and jihye were the o n l y things he really needed on his side. to someone who had spent untiring long two years wandering around with no direction, looking for something he didn't know what it was --- having two people who were PERFECT to fill him almost filled the heart of taehyun with just joy. and it did, though. knowing that he had gone around the country, almost from end to end and had found the two so close seemed to be almost s u r r e a l; but he had learned that things came with the time they had to come, and that eventually all the lines would make sense no matter how many messy they were ( it was a thought he wanted to believe, but he didn't ). ‘ are you really making that dumb question? ’ so it was obvious that the allusion of being one day with his two favorite people in the world would be WONDERFUL. not that taehyun was spending enough time with the children he cared to have the fantasy of a perfect world, but sharing the same house with his two best friends just sounded like the s a f e s t thing he'd ever heard. ‘ aish, seriously !! i'll get you some milk and leave you wondering how unnecessary this question was, miss, ’ though his eyes narrowed toward her, he had a tone of amusement in his voice. tae got in line to make his new request, wasting time looking around and was already going to try to get jihye attention when he saw it. his mouth went dry immediately and it was as if the whole world had been silenced around him. the woman with a child on her lap while flipping through a magazine on the table had the s a m e face of the woman in all his dreams since taehyun had understood that she would never return to his side. the child, a girl clearly, who played with a piece of cake seemed O B L I V I O U S to the fact that she was taking his place. a place that had once been his. it was all he needed at that moment, apparently. the needed point to push him once and for all to what seemed to be the bottom of the can in his memories, a place locked in seven keys that he wouldn't allow himself to open. not there, though. not when those memories were right there in front of him and she didn't seem to mind his presence. she had n e v e r cared. when he returned to the table he shared with jihye, he was AWARE of his own appearance. the face should be blank as well as the fingers that clenched into fists on the side of his body --- tae was making the biggest effort in the world to just not c o l l a p s e right there. ‘ jih-ah .. c--can we go .. home ?? ’ voice came out in a murmur that barely existed, dark distant hues passing away from his friend but didn't have the guts to wait for a confirmation. marching out of the coffeehouse, he could feel his eyes BURNING, he just had no more tears to waste on it anymore.

              appreciated the way taeil didn't push the subject. he didn't ask what was behind taehyun's thoughts and didn't seem to c a r e so much about how he didn't look so COMFORTABLE talking about his time alone at home. that didn't mean the other simply didn't care, though. only that he wasn't one to get involved in other people's a f f a i r s and, god, taehyun couldn't be more grateful to himself at that moment for having just gone in search of someone who wouldn't question his m o t i v e s for being awake that time when it was so out of character for him. ‘ okay, i'll keep that in mind, ’ as he followed the other, a soft smile twitched the corner of his lips and he realized it was good to be with someone else. beneficial to be in the presence of someone who wasn't part of any MESS inside his own head, as if he had to make room for just taeil there and that was great. wonderful for a r e s t l e s s mind in the last, what it seemed, to be Y E A R S. ‘ i can't promise you the best, but we can work with it, ’ he cocked his head. ‘ anything gets okay with soda, ’ not that anything would be good in his own mouth now. taehyun was thin. along with his hunger, had also gone the usual flush of his not-anymore chubby cheeks. ‘ were you writing something ?? it seems like you don't have your share of sleep for a while too, ’ diverging his thoughts, tried to focus beyond looking at his own mind on the boy who walked beside him. seemed to be his only healthy choice. ‘ but that's kind of what authors do, isn't ?? guess i shouldn't worry this much. ’

             there was a lot of i s s u e s running athwart taehyun’s mind. he knows that his act of ignoring them is only childish and stupid, no matter how much time he spent during the day neglecting his own thoughts, it wouldn't even wait SECONDS for him to have a mind full of them at the moment when his head lay down to the p i l l o w that night. then he was glad to have found someone, to have found ji --- who presence was enough to keep such thoughts in the back of his mind. ‘ normally, when i'm working i don't hang with it around, ’ only on rare occasions, he knew. the children he worked with were also GREAT models for his photos. but it had been some time since taehyun couldn't see the urge to take his camera out of the box where it was stored inside the back of his wardrobe. ‘ it's not like you need to doll yourself so i'm annoying you with my camera, ’ which was true. r e g a r d l e s s of the moment, if he had ji and one of the wonderful arrangements she worked back to her store, the orange-haired male would already be satisfied with the result. ‘ okay, i think i can stay a bit, ’ he grins warmly towards her. ‘ what are you trying to do, though ?? taking some time to think by yourself or trying to catch on some inspiration ?? ’

             taehyun knew that when sehyun was working; he was r e a l l y working, not a piece of his mind out of what he was creating and he found it STUNNING to watch. but it seemed that the last time he had seen any of the other's drawing seemed to have been years ago, a lifetime ago and the feeling was b i t t e r s w e e t under his tongue. he leaned across the table to see the drawings with caution dangling in his gaze. a mess of lines and lines that went everywhere and what taehyun didn't understand ----- had NEVER understood. but that didn't put him in a position where he couldn't examine art and have the knowledge of how all that was just delightful. ‘ gosh--- i missed your drawings a little too much i guess, ’ the words slipped from his lips before he could do anything to stop them, a soft almost not there laugh coming together. he was, yes, missing sehyun but his drawings were as part of a routine that the older male thought was RIGHT to follow it ( before at least it slipped through his fingers so easily ). ‘ this never fails to amaze me, ’ g e n u i n e n e s s, adorning taehyun's soft features when again he stared at the youngest for a few seconds before glancing at the table again. their coexistence didn't have to be something utterly AWKWARD, they didn't have to push it to a fate of single failure. ‘ um .. how are you ?? i haven't seen you in a bit now, ’ enough time, the lines between the words shrieked.

taehyun: THAT'S NOT FAIR i'm not sad okay ?? i'm the bliss in a human being

             wherever taehyun is going to have c o f f e e between his fingers, this just meant how his mind is troubled and that he needed rest as fast as possible. however, the bitter liquid in his hands warmed the tip of his little fingers and brought a sense of COMFORT that he was struggling to achieve lately. his bed looked like it had been shaped for a person with a completely d i f f e r e n t body because every time he lay there it was as if he were being pushed to the floor. his house was so EMPTY he swore he could feel the echo of his feet on the floor as he moved from one room to the other. the lack of a routine ( because now, everything seemed to be just a mess ) had just begun to leave him even more out of his mind. so he goes to some coffee ----- because the last time he had the savor of coffee in his mouth things had seemed to start to fit into s o m e t h i n g, even it wasn't from a g l a s s he had tasted it. when the taste touched the tip of his tongue, and it stiffened his whole mouth, it was the feeling of déjà vu that forced him to throw the untouched cup of paper in the nearest dump without even regretting the money he had lost in that. ready to leave the cafe, was when he caught SIGHT of the other. bent over some papers that would bet his life on being drawings and attentive to what he was doing like every other time he had seen him. taehyun sighed. one. two. three times before his s t u b b o r n feet made their way to the table sehyun occupied. ‘ hey, ’ he greeted him in a lower voice than usual, the lack of anything in his hands could be a little s u s p i c i o u s, but he chose not to care about that now. ‘ can i see what you're working on ?? ’                                                                                  *˚. ★ @artisvn​

             the eye roll has no real annoyance there; just because it's jihye and he can't really get angry at anything that comes from her ----- that whole thing from the person being too special and being in your life too much for you to care so much about it when the m o c k e r y comes from them because, who better in the world to really know him than the female sitting on the other side of the table ?? NEVER in a million years. ‘ hilarious. i don't look like a freaking rabbit, ’ he pouted just to give more v i v i d n e s s to his act, but the low chuckle soon dragged out of his throat against the the warm tea was beginning to warm his whole interior at once. the reason why taehyun would always stay with hot and non-cold drinks ----- they had enough strength to make his insides warm even when there had nothing inside to feel indeed, it was the kind of m e t a p h o r that also worked well on why he was always attached to the jihye. she would ALWAYS make him smile no matter how bad his day was. her sudden choice of words forced taehyun to have his dark hues up to her beautiful face again, a smile beginning to dominate the corners of his lips and without even asking permission to get into his eyes making them into half moons. an automatic reaction to anything that the other would say; but the show of affection had really reached his heart this time. ‘ this is really good to know, thank you, ’ pretending as if to stick to it, reached out to be able to pinch the carrot dessert of jihye and bring into fingers to his mouth. ‘ oh !! i love you too. how can't i, right ?? you're the only one eating this horrible, not yummy thing because of me, ’ graceful his words with FONDNESS that could be felt by anyone outside, he knew. but it wasn't like taehyun cared about that, if anything, he really w a n t e d people around to know how much he appreciated the other female there. ‘ you really should come and live with me and junsun. i doubt he would care about that, really. we can arrange a way, i can share my room with you !! we would have pajama parties every night, jinnie. ’

              his friends had no business with his own insomnia, so taehyun felt at least a little guilty of being disturbing one of them while the sleep didn't i n v a d e his mind as he tried to close his eyes in the dark of his room. he couldn't call junsun every night because although his best friend's voice was the BEST way to put him to sleep, the other was out for a p u r p o s e ----- he needed to work. taehyun believed that his lack of sleep came exclusively from how his schedule had diminished in recent days, but not for any specific reason ( the parents he worked for had continued to recommend his services as usual ) but he had STOPPED answering calls. refused some offers and even though he knew that staying home at a time like those wasn't his smarter choice, the forces for anything else just seemed to not exist. returned taeil's smile the moment the other male stepped in front of him, feeling relieved that he didn't look so annoyed at being bothered so early in the morning. but his first question caught taehyun by s u r p r i s e. was he okay ?? he couldn't remember what it had been the last time he had slept PROPERLY, but found it totally unnecessary to throw that kind of concern over his friend. ‘ i think junsun has been working for over twenty-four hours now. my house seems empty, i just needed to get out of there, ’ he sighed softly against the cold breeze. ‘ i'm sorry if i messed up your sleep, mostly... and to be honest, i can't promise you a fun night either, ’ taehyun giggled, this time, in a more sincere way. ‘ but i think we can still find some bungeoppangs down town. want to try our luck ?? ’

              ‘ whoa --- can i join in ?? sounds fun, ’ the e n t h u s i a s m that taehyun forced into his own voice came in the most playful manner possible. picking up one of the sheets from the journals around them, he had his brow furrowed briefly as he glanced at her briefly before turning his attention to the letters. ‘ you look good aesthetic here. damn !! i had to walk with my camera one of these hours, ’ one of taehyun's FAVORITE things was to take pictures of the girl while she was working ( or at any other time, really ) even if he hadn't her complete a p p r o v a l of it. wasn't going to do anything with those pictures anyway, sometimes the male just did it to show her how beautiful she really was ----- something she seemed to forget about it. ‘ i was with a child of mine, but their father came to pick them up, so i have the afternoon free for what it seems. oh, do you want to be alone ?? ’ a S U D D E N feeling that, maybe, ji wasn't looking for a company weighed on his conscience. ‘ i can leave if i'm bothering you. ’

              the stranger seemed to have been taken by surprise, which elicited a s h o r t laugh from the bottom of taehyun's throat. he expected that kind of reaction, if only to be honest. not having met many people in the noisy, busy streets of seoul who would offer him any help if him really needed it ----- that sort of thing always came with some SECOND intention behind the offer ( only the thought made tae shiver in d i s d a i n ). people shouldn't be that wicked. ‘ because, ’ shrugged briefly, not even knowing how to build some kind of argument for his good deed. usually that kind of reaction came automatically from the bottom of the male's CORE, he didn't mind having motives for being gentle. ‘ you kinda need help there. unless these papers are magically waterproof, everything will be ruined in a few minutes. ’

taehyun: so about what i'll write my novel now ?? that's just sad, really

taehyun: MINKYO what kind of friend are you seriously