J A M I L L A

So I just want to say for other survivors– your definitions matter, your experience and perspectives matter, your trauma matters. You are a reliable witness to your own life. His opinions on what he was entitled to don’t negate the trauma you experienced, and don’t negate the reality of what happened. His opinions on what your boundaries should have been hold no weight against what you decide are your own boundaries. You deserve to be believed, even if your abuser/rapist denies what happened up to his dying breath. 

tweet 1: “On June 11th, Michael Hickson, a quadriplegic black man with COVID-19 was killed by a hospital in Austin Texas. Doctors decided he had “no quality of life” and was not worth spending the resources to save. The conversation between his doctor and his wife was caught on audio 1/?”

tweet 2: 

“Doctor: So as of right now, his quality of life -- he doesn’t have much of one.

Melissa: What do you mean? Because he’s paralyzed with a brain injury he doesn’t have quality of life?

Doctor: Correct.

Hickson was refused food or treatment for 6 days”

tweet 3: “In the YouTube video, the doctor can be heard saying ‘he will have lines and tubes coming out of his body... That’s not a quality-of-life’ I have tubes coming out of my body. I happen to like my life. Without those tubes I’d be dead. Our definition of quality is vastly different” 

tweet 4: “So, when you see me repeatedly yelling about masks, paying attention to disabled people, and you don’t understand why I tweet with passion, remember this. I’m fighting to change culture that doesn’t see disabled life as quality. Many of us are afraid and rightfully so.” 

Blackbird - (2014, dir. Patrick-Ian Polk) Drama adpatation of the novel by Larry Duplechan. It follows Randy, a devoutely Baptist gay teenager struggling with his sexuality and religion.

Moonlight - (2016, dir. Barry Jenkins) coming of age drama film telling the life of Chiron, a young black man growing up in Miami, told in three stages; his youth, adolescence, and early adult life. It explores his sexuality, identity, and the ramifications of the abuse he endured growing up. Janelle Monae made her film debut in this and it also became both the first film with an all black cast & the first lgbt film to win the oscar for best picture.

Naz & Maalik - (2015, dir. Jay Dockendorf) drama film following two closeted muslim teenage boys in Brooklyn during one summer afternoon as their secretive (read: closeted gay) behavior sets a FBI agent on their trail. After both boys give her two different excuses for their behavior, they worry about being outed to their families.

Noah’s Arc: Jumping the broom - (2008, dir. Patrick-Ian Polk) Comedy based off the tv series “Noah’s Arc” follows Noah and Wade as they invite their friends along for an insane weekend before they marry at Martha’s Vineyard.

Pariah - (2011, dir. Dee Rees) art drama film telling the story of Alike, a 17 year old black girl as she slowly but surely comes to terms with being a butch lesbian while her parents relationship is falling apart. As her mother begins to grow suspicious about her daughter’s sexuality, she forces Alike into feminine clothing and pushes her to make friends with a respectable young girl from her church.

Rafiki - (2018, dir. Wanuri Kahiu) Kenyan romantic drama film centering on two Kenyan lesbian teenagers, Ziki and Kena. It explores their blossoming love and friendship as they face poltical and familial pressure to follow a path of life they arent really suited for. The film has mostly been premiering in festivals and isnt available for streaming in the US/UK yet but once its out this is a very important, groundbreaking film that we all need to be supporting!

Set it Off - (1996, dir. F. Gary Gray) Crime action film about four close friends who decide to rob a bank for different reasons, but all with the goal to better life for themselves and the ones they love. The character Queen Latifah plays is a butch lesbian! 

The Happy Sad - (2013, dir. Rodney Evans) Drama film following the lives of two very different couples in New York City. The first, two gay black men who’ve been together for awhile and decided to try to turn their relationship into an open one. The second, a het white couple who decide to take a break and end up experimenting with same-sex sexual encounters. 

The Skinny - (2012, dir. Patrick-Ian Polk) Rom-com telling the story of five Brown University classmates as they reunite in NYC for gay pride weekend. Four are gay men, and one is a lesbian woman. Magnus is a medical student in a happy relationship with his boyfriend, Langston is a Yale PhD student, Sebastian just came back from a year in Paris, Kyle is uh…slutty, and Joey’s witty as hell. 

The Wound - (2017, dir. John Trengove) Alternatively titled Inxeba, The Wound is a South African drama film following the secret relationship between two men during the Xhosa ritual of Ulwaluko, an initiation into manhood. 

Why do all TV cops, even the good ones, hate Internal Affairs? Isn’t the job of Internal Affairs to root out the “bad cops”? Isn’t their job to make sure police follow the rules? Why is that presented as inherently evil or antagonistic? 

Why do all TV cops, even the good ones, hate defense attorneys? Isn’t the defense attorney’s job to protect the rights of all citizens? Isn’t it their job to make sure police follow the law? Isn’t it their job to make sure everyone is treated fairly under the system? Why is that presented as inherently evil or antagonistic? 

Why do all TV cops, even the good ones, get upset when citizens invoke their constitutional rights? Don’t those rights exist to ensure all citizens are treated fairly? Don’t they exist to ensure innocent people are not wrongfully incriminated? Why are citizens who invoke their rights presented as dishonest, untrustworthy, or antagonistic? 

To be clear, I’ve watched Brooklyn 99 and enjoyed it. I was watching Elementary the other day. But even when I watch shows I like, I make a mental note every time a cop lies, breaks the law, subverts someone’s basic rights, or just generally acts like an asshole to the people the are meant to serve and protect. 

How often are they called out on their behavior? How often are they punished for it? How often is it reinforced as correct by the narrative?

But if you asked, “Would you let the statue of liberty burn in order to save your child? your spouse? someone you loved a great deal?” the tune abruptly changes. At the very least, there’s a hesitation. Even if they deny it, I’m willing to bet that gun to their head, the answer would be “yes.”  

The basic problem here is that people have a hard time seeing outside their own sphere of influence, and empathizing beyond the few people who are right in front of them. You’ve got your immediate family, whom you love; your friends, your acquaintances, maybe to a certain degree the people who share a status with you (your religion, your race, etc.)–but beyond that? People aren’t real. They’re theoretical. 

But a national monument? That’s real. It stands for something. The value of a non-realized anonymous life that exists completely outside your sphere of influence is clearly worth less than something that represents freedom and prosperity to a whole nation, right?

People who think like this lack the compassion to realize that everyone is in someone’s immediate sphere of influence–that everyone is someone’s lover, or brother, or parent. Everyone means the world to someone. And it’s the absolute height of selfishness to assume that their lives don’t have value just because they don’t mean the world to you. 

an example: so, as the nazis began war against france, the staff of the louvre began crating up and shipping out the artworks. it was vital to them (for many reasons) that the nazis not get their hands on the collections, and hitler’s desire for them was known, so they dispersed the objects to the four winds; one of the curators personally traveled with la gioconda, mona lisa herself, in an unmarked crate, moving at least five times from location to location to avoid detection.

they even removed and hid the nike of samothrace, “winged victory,” which is both delicate, having been pieced back together from fragments, and incredibly heavy, weighing over three metric tons.

the curators who hid these artworks risked death to ensure that they wouldn’t fall into nazi hands. and yes, they are just paintings, just statues. but when i think about the idea of hitler capturing and standing smugly beside the nike of samothrace, a statue widely beloved as a symbol of liberty, i completely understand why someone would risk their life to prevent that. if my life was all that stood between a fascist dictator and a masterpiece that inspired millions, i would be willing to risk it. my belief in the power and necessity of art would demand i do so.

if, however, a nazi held a gun to some kid’s head (any kid!) and asked me which crate the mona lisa was in, they could have it in a heartbeat. no problem! i wouldn’t even have to think about it. being willing to risk my own life on principle doesn’t mean i’m willing to see others endangered for those same principles.

and that is exactly where the conservative hard-right falls right the fuck down. they are, typically, entirely willing to watch others suffer for their own principles. they are perfectly okay with seeing children in cages because of their supposed belief in law and order. they are perfectly willing to let women die from pregnancy complications because of their anti-abortion beliefs. they are alright with poverty and disease on general principle because they hold the free-market sacrosanct. and i guess from their own example they would save the statue of liberty and let human beings burn instead.

but speaking as a leftist (i’m more comfortable with socialist tbh), my principles are not abstract things that i hold aside from life, apart or above my place as a human being in a society. my beliefs arise from being a person amidst people. i don’t love art for art’s sake alone, actually! i don’t love objects because they are objects: i love them because they are artifacts of our humanity, because they communicate and connect us, because they embody love and curiosity and fear and feeling. i love art because i love people. i want universal health care because i want to see people universally cared for. i want universal basic income because people’s safety and dignity should not be determined by their economic productivity to an employer. i am anti-war and pro-choice for the same reason: i value people’s lives but also their autonomy and right to self-determination. my beliefs are not abstractions. i could never value a type of economic system that i saw hurting people, no matter how much “growth” it produced. i could never love “law and order” more than i love a child, any child, i saw trapped in a cage.

This is also why they think “get a job” is useful advice. In their heads they honestly do not understand why the NPCs who make up the majority of the human race can’t just flip a switch from “no job” to “job.” When they say “get a job” they’re filing a glitch report with God and they honestly think that’s all it takes.