One Man's Journey

This is an old joke I told my roommate years back. She left her toys out in the bathroom often and one day I mentioned to her, "You wanna know what's weird? I go to brush my teeth and "Jimmy" is just hanging out on the sink saying, "You think your job sucks?" in a New Jersey accent. " She thought it was pretty funny, until my friend Big Ben greeted her in the shower one morning. 🤣😂🤣

I’m relating hard to this list.

Fuck.....this is me to a fucking T.

hahahahaha!!! Well done!

Might be a bad time to be a roman....

w..why?

It restores half my HP

Dude, that's +100 HP right there. Now, about that roast we found in the trash.....

Gray butter

Commando Salami. I’m liking this name.

Pink Cheez-It…  hmm… i believe that qualifies as a  finger licking snack

Does anyone else with ADHD have to vocalize their thoughts in order to keep them from slipping out of your reach? I feel ridiculous for doing this but especially when I’m inspired or especially distracted speaking my train of thought out loud helps me stay on track and make sense of the swirling typhoon of ideas in my brain.

oh god. i do all of this all the time.

I do this at the workbench and in the kitchen. I straight up act like I'm hosting a drunk version of Cooking with Emeril in my kitchen, by myself at 2 am. 😂

👆👍Step up and handle your business……

Accurate 😎☝️

“more than enough” oh you fucking saints, absolutely pouring wealth onto the unfortunates

lol this is amazing

You fucking monster

GET HER PRUDENCE

No wonder why her name is PRUDENCE

I just wish the Bush administration hadn't pretty much killed trick or treating in my hometown. I miss that the most out of all the holiday traditions. You can keep your mistletoe and dry ass turkey with Stove Top dressing, thank you. Bring back the ghouls and monsters shrieking up the streets as the sun sets! Bring back the spooky haunted tracks playing from a hidden boom box. Bring back that asshole dressed as a scarecrow on the front porch who makes you shit your Ninja Turtles costume! Bring back Halloween! 🎃

😂

This is one of those things that I already knew was true, but seeing it so blatantly displayed makes me feel like like I am finding out about it for the first time.

CIA is getting lazy

O.o

“It’s just a script whats the problem lol” the problem is that Fox, CNN, CBS, and all the other channels repped here, despite claiming to be different companies with different viewpoints, all had the exact same script, word for word, to push the exact same viewpoint that smaller, independent news outlets are Fake News and “A Threat To Our Democracy.” The fact that they have scripts isn’t the problem. The problem is they all, each and every one, have the exact same script down to the letter and in some cases the fucking inflection, which basically reads “small news stations are untrustworthy and a Threat to your Way Of Life, only trust Us, We Are Verified.”

These channels are all local channels owned by Sinclair broadcasting, a right wing media conglomerate that recently gained control of almost all American local news channels after Ajit Pai’s FCC heavily deregulated telecom companies. This is not some broad spectrum media conspiracy, it is specifically an attempt at a right wing takeover of all American local broadcasting for the purposes of propaganda.

Important shit you ought to know. ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️