O N C E Â Y O U Â G O Â B L A C K , Y O U Â N E V E R Â G O Â B A C KÂ / a playlist
   22 tracks   [LISTEN HERE]
/ 001. Monster - Imagine Dragons / 002. Black Sheep - Gin Wigmore / 003. Canât Stop - Red Hot Chili Peppers / 004. My Songs Know What Your Did in the Dark vs Miss Jackson - Fall Out Boy & Panic! At the Disco / 005. Little Monster - Royal Blood / 006. Warriors - Imagine Dragons / 007. Jungle - Jamie N Commons & X Ambassadors / 008. Counting Bodies like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums - Perfect Circle / ---
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Once she reached the man, and the words came out of his lips Bethany had a mix of fear still inside of herself due to what happened and frustration for what he said last. Raising her eyebrow, she instantly moved her hand to rest on her hips as she looked at him. âI know, still⌠it was my fault. But⌠Why not? Just because Iâm pretty my money isnât worth taking?â She asked, looking at him. âI did something bad, and Iâm paying. I might have or not the money for it at the moment, but Iâm paying because it doesnât have a thing to do with my looks.â She wasnât being rude, nor raising her tone since it wasnât from her nature to do such thing. Mira had taught her that education should came as polite as possible.
His minor attempt at flattery didnât quite work as well as he wanted it to. Looking back to assess the damage, he uncrossed his heavy arms from his chest, perking an eyebrow at the other. âHoney, I have more money than I know what to do with. Just donât bother, alright? This--â he gestured towards the front end, a thin lipped smile pulling at the corners of his mouth as he looked back over. âIs nothing short of one phone call to the garage.â His eyes focused on her before looking down. âYou just worry about yours.â
âNo, no, noâŚâ Bethany whispered as she leaned her head against the wheel. She heard the noise and could only expect that nothing too bad had happened once she hit someone elseâs vehicle. So many things inside her head that she didnât see it, and now she had to deal with it. Leaving the car, she looked at the person. âIâll pay. You donât even need to tell me that I should do it. I know. Iâm so sorry.â
Roman stared down at the bent fender of his brand new Lamborghini, pursing his lips in disappointment. Heâd have to wait a few weeks for the part to come in but he was thankful he wasnât driving his baby today. As he inspected, his attention was ripped away from it as the voice of an approaching woman came through, allowing himself to flit a look at her. Crossing his hands over his chest, he shook his head. Last thing he needed was insurance companies getting involved. He was already in enough trouble with the rollover a few months back. âNo, itâs fine. It was an accident. âSides, I donât take money from pretty girls.â He attempted to lighten the situation.
The moment the other man mentioned having his share of fake stories too, Dan widened his eyes in an effort to try and place him. He did look familiar, but maybe it was one of those faces? Although, judging by his attire and the way he carried himself, he felt as though he should probably know who he was. Then again, Dan was not one to pick on othersâ lives unless they offered and, while the man had mentioned a daughter, he deemed the topic too personal to even ask and instead returned his smile with one of his own, nodding his head idly in agreement. âI guess itâs impossible not to? The only way not to let it get to you is probably not coming across them at all, but sometimes theyâre shoved at your face, too.â
He admired the way the other didnât try to pry, even if it was genuine curiosity from most. A lot of people wouldâve asked about his daughter and all the rumors to which heâd tell them as much as heâd like to tell them and ask them to refer to any gossip column to know the rest. He relaxed his shoulders in kind. âIn a business where little to no morality is found, itâs best to take the high road and avoid feeding the fire.âÂ
Paige let out a laugh. âOh gosh, do I look like the type that plays hardball and needs a monetary bribe? Iâm going to take that as a compliment. Iâll keep your secret, only because youâre just so pretty to look at.â Her finger jabbed playfully in his direction. âAhaha, youâre funnyâŚbut I can see in your eyes that you actually knew the answer so now I am both amused and impressed by your comedic prowess.â
A faint flush crept up his neck at her compliment, but he shook his head lightly, dismissing it. Lifting his head back up, he flashed a grin, giving a shrug. âIâm quite the comedian. How I ended up in any other profession is beyond me.â Pursing his lips slightly, he looked down at her, wagging a finger. âI like you. Iâm gonna keep you around.â
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âAnd thereâs nothing wrong with that.â If anything, Dan knew just how important it was for people to know, to be curious, to want to feel a connection between those they looked up to or those who formed part of their lives through entertainment. Even if he hadnât chosen this life when he was a child but rather been put in it and somehow try and make it in a sea full of sharks, he had grown fond of it and now couldnât see himself any other way. He owed himself to the public, that much he knew. âThe problem is the lying aspect of it. Thereâs such a thing as freedom of press and I fully support our constitution through and through, but does it really fall under journalism when all you spread are false stories on real people? Itâs fine, though. Iâm used to ignoring these.â Granted, he wasnât doing such a good job at it lately.
He couldnât help but agree. "Iâve had my fair share of fake stories plastered in magazines, but Iâve chosen to ignore. A lot of the scandals involving my married life, sexual life, work like, and the rest were merely tall tales. When it came to including my daughter, however, thatâs always going to be a different story.â He looked over at him, offering him a kind smile. âSo why get worked up over them now?â
âReputation is what you present to people. You could show your cool Casanova side and your Geeky side in equal measure.â Paige gave a teasingly concerned look, teeth tugging on her lower lip. âUh ohâŚdoes that mean I upset the balance? Or I have to guard your secret in order to keep things in check? Iâm not sure Iâm ready for such responsibility.â Her eyes narrowed in a challenge. âOhh you really know your Shakespeare, huh? âBe not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.â Whatâs the act, scene, and play that quote is from?â
âI totally could, but Iâm a little vain that way. Iâm supposed to be the Casanova heart-breaker with a great sense of style.â He rolled his eyes, smiling the ridiculousness of it all. âYou have a responsibility here, Paige. Canât let anyone know. You keep my secret, Iâll give you five hundred dollars.â He offered before her next question popped up. He couldnât help but let out a small chuckle. It reminded him deeply of a movie, but was it better to impress or make her laugh? Twelfth Night. Act two, scene five, he thought to himself. âSpider-man.â
âRight.â Daniel just didnât smiled as though he agreed with the other man, biting his tongue to prevent him from going on yet another outburst on how these pages-full-of-bullshit had ruined his life. He knew better than to show his anger or frustrations in public, or discuss his ongoing lawsuit that involved this very magazine he held in his hands right now, and a few others, on defamation. âIâd still feel guilty if I were to support an industry that numbs peopleâs minds and distracts them from the bigger issues in society, something that far from educating, stupefies society just because itâs their money, but oh well.â
He shuffled his feet awkwardly as the other spoke. Despite his own reputation, he was a huge fan of the man in front of him, but he couldnât exactly just come out with it, especially while they were having a conversation about something completely different. âMoney isnât easy to give the cold shoulder, unless youâre making about million a week. So if youâre a sleazy magazine company, they really have no other choice. People want to read about whoâs sleeping with who, whoâs gay, whoâs shaved their head, whoâs filing a lawsuit. People are curious in the worst way, but itâs generally how you choose to look at it.â
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âWhat I donât get is why people are even remotely interested in buying this kind of⌠of magazines?. I mean, seventy-percent of the pages are advertisements and thirty-percent bogus.â
âItâs a form of entertainment, isnât it? People are entitled to spend their money on whatever they want, including magazines that are filled to the last page with bullshit. Figure just let âem believe what they want.â
âNow now donât say it like youâre confessing to a bad thing,â she chastised with a grin. âNerds rule the world now, and I am a queen among them. My pasttime when I was a kid used to be reading the dictionary for fun. Iâm a grown ass woman and I have a âword of the week.â She gave a little giggle at herself. âLet me guess, did you quote Shakespeare to allt he girls and make them swoon?â
âI kind of am, in a weird way. Reputation only goes as far as those who assume and those who know. I think a handful of people know Iâm a grade A nerd who literally graduated from university two years before I was supposed to. One more person knowing will off-set the balance!â He made a face, biting his lower lip at her accusation. âWould it be bad of me to say yes? In my defense, thereâs absolutely nothing wrong with loving Shakespeare and as long as the person Iâm woo-ing knows what act, scene and play itâs from, theyâre pretty much my ideal type.â
Trouble seemed to follow the blonde all the time â at least that had been the bold assertion that she had managed to believe in a few months ago but things were looking up. She was trying her best to be positive and not to overthink it but this was the blonde â and she always was harboring those thoughts, everyone was â were they not? Feeling the gently question she turned around looking at the male, holding onto her brief case she nodded, trying to think of the location of the pet store that she knew.
Remi had always been a dog person but ever since she got Noah, she didnât think about getting a dog because of the amount of work that it would call for. âItâs two streets down â you take a right and there you will be â I am actually going there so I can walk with you if you want that.â
He looked in the direction she was mentioning and bit his lower lip before turning his attention back to her, realizing heâd met her before. Mouth open to respond, nothing came out but he nodded nevertheless, a rushed smile forcing itself on his face. âThanks. Thatâd actually be super helpful.â He tilted his head, smiling down at her before he started walking. Tucking his hands into his pants, something he usually did when he was feeling anxious, he looked back over at her, offering a hand. âI think weâve met. âM not great with names, but Iâm not bad with faces, either.â He chuckled quietly. âRoman.â
Paige let out a laugh. âFiddleheads? Thatâs a real thing right? Youâre not just pulling my leg so that I go ask for some ridiculous imaginary veggie?â Her expression faded into a nostalgic smile. God she missed the city so much already. âI lived in Manhattan, right across the street from Central Park. Though I will say that green space is not as rare here in Charleston and thatâs kind of nice. I bet youâve got lots of parks nearby to take your daughter to, if sheâs still the age for swings and slides. Hell who am I kidding, Iâm still the age for swings and slides.â Giving a nod, she let her hands rest behind her, rocking slightly onto the balls of her feet. âEnglish. The modern day studentâs worst nightmare.â
He shook his head, grinning widely. âNo, seriously! I thought they were joking when they told me the name, too, but theyâre actually a thing!â He claimed, eyes lit in a childish mannerism. âThe city is definitely beautiful and I miss the bustling streets, but you arenât wrong. Having such a quiet life, Iâm almost restless. Sheâs a little too young to play on anything yet, but I still supply her with endless toys and all that kid stuff.â A small smile piqued the side of his mouth at her adorable mannerisms. âI hear that. I tended to mesh well with the class, though. Iâve always been one for grammar and all that, but thereâs something strangely romantic about it. Literature is my favorite pass time. Iâm kind of a nerd.â He smirked, tucking his hands into his pockets.
The absolute fury that was consuming her was nothing new - though something she hadnât experienced for some time. She wanted to rage, to burn, to do something stupid - but all the while that part of her mint that spoke logically, the part which had almost vanished in a rush of wild desire and a need to let go. She couldnât go knocking on his door. The place was like a fortress.Doing nothing wasnât an option; she had to allow herself some course of action. But a realisation hit her.Â
She still had his number.
So she left him a few voicemails.
âCiao tesoro. Come stai?
You know, Iâve seen a lot of shit. At work. In the Air Force. A lot of guts and gore and blood which just doesnât seem to wash out. I have been spat on. Slapped. Had guns trained on my whilst I was trying to help someone. I almost died in the process of trying to deliver aid. Iâm a fucking saint arenât I? But the thing that gets to me - the thing that makes me feel really sick - are the animals like you.
You see itâs the grunts like me who see the real stuff. The ones who ride in ambulances and the nurses who literally piece people back together and the orderies - oh half those guys have done time for sure, but they see the worst of it. And you know what they hate more than anything else? Abusers. The ones who hurt and take advantage for no better reason. And men who make themselves feel bigger by knocking tinier - weaker people about.
And nothing makes us happier than seeing hell and wrath and justice rain down upon them. So I would advise that you and young Daisy donât visit the ER anytime soon.
We got called back to a house we had been to four times in a month. And we would take Her away. And She would go back. But that time it was Him on the floor. And we knew he was going to wake up. And go home. And the next time, he was going to kill her. Except he didnât. Itâs amazing, because due to much force I need - enough that I may have to break ribs and often do -Â an intracardiac injection can slip just a few millimetres too deep so very easily. How a dosage can be misplaced. How very difficult it can be to recussitate someone.
Most of my being wants to break your fucking kneecaps but I am not going to do that because I am smarter than that and you are not worth going to jail over. This is a warning. If you come to me, you will regret it. But if you go near her - I swear to God it will be the last decision you ever make.
I have killed men like you, Roman Guerra, for the sheer fact that I know the world is better off without you and I am not afraid to do it again.â
He wasnât about to answer his phone for just anyone at this point, knowing full well news traveled around this town faster than it did when he was living in Los Angeles. He let every call go to voicemail, but one name in particular that came up was the other Italian Scotsman heâd met not too long ago. His finger tapped against the screen and he placed it on the table, allowing the speaker to attract Joeâs attention. It was almost comical how people would defend another person without so much as a thought in their heads. How he wondered how their little brains worked. As she went on, Joe walked over to him, sitting across from him as they both listened. Joe, was obviously scared and it wasnât even about him. Roman, on the other hand, held a smug smirk, arms crossed over his chest as he relaxed back in his seat.
The next pair of phrases that followed wiped the stupid smirk off his face. The mention of Daisy. Joe instinctively tensed up, knowing full well just how psychotic Roman could get if someone dared to threaten his daughter. He and Roman listened carefully to the rest and for a fleeting moment, Roman knew if luck was on his side, he could have this entire city burning at his feet. Joe walked over, sitting at his side before touching a careful hand to his arm. His skin was stove-top hot and Joe had to rip his hand away, holding it to his chest as he gave a wary look to the other. Roman was quiet as the voicemail ended, but it was only the calm of the storm. He needed to get his mind off of everything and Joe knew exactly how. First and foremost, was getting Daisy out of the house.
With a few arranged phone calls and texts, Daisy was soon being brought down the stairs fast asleep in the arms of Romanâs bodyguard. Sheâd go stay with a friend of his for the night. Roman kissed her small hands, and smiled down at her as she was led out. Watching as she was placed in the car, he rested his head wearily against Joeâs shoulder.
âIf that bitch goes anywhere near her, Iâll rip off her fucking head.â He murmured, Joeâs arms sliding protectively over him. âAnd youâll fucking help me do it.â Joeâs gaze lowered and he nodded, hugging Roman tighter. Of course he would.
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He was destructive. Built for chaotic perfection. Violent, unforgiving, callous. He was the son of a man with a dark past. A man who practically dragged his eldest son into the shadows and told him to fight. He should have ran. He should have lived his own life, knowing full well how it all ended.
He sat there, drink in hand, taking slow sips as if to punish himself. His busted lip leaking onto the carpet and into his mouth, careless as to whether or not he was swallowing it. He had spent a good amount of his time sitting in the corner of the kitchen, the wind causing a creaking sound through the house. As Joe walked through the door, he looked up at him, giving a lazy smile before Joe walked over, placing the bowl of water on the ground before using a damp cloth to wipe away the blood on his hands.
âYou know sheâs gonna press charges.â Joe said, eyes remaining on the Crimson that kept rising over the bruises. Romanâs head fell back against the cabinets and he rolled his eyes.Â
âYeah, who cares. Nothing I canât buy.â
âWhyâd you hit her?â Came a gruffer question and Roman turned to look at him, almost expressionless.
âFor one moment, I thought I was looking down at Thorn.â Joe went quiet, swallowing thickly. âFor one fucking split fucking second, I saw my ex husband looking up at me, and I saw red. I couldnât stop.â He took another sip, Joe hastily taking the cup out of his hands and setting it down on the floor before he reached forward, taking Romanâs face in his hands.
âTell me you had to do this.â His eyes locked onto his just as Roman looked back up, sad eyes meeting his. He picked up Romanâs hands and showcased them to him. âTell me you had no other choice. It was either you, or her.â
âI did-- I didnât mean to.â He choked out.
âYou couldâve called me. I wouldâve been here as soon as I could and this couldâve been avoided. All you had to do was pick up that phone.â
âShe grabbed my phone and saw those texts between us. I donât know what happened, but I just--â he made a gesture with his hands as if something were exploding. âI lost it. If I had just slowed down enough to tell her nothing had been happening while we were together, it wouldâve been a lot easier.â He sighed, closing his eyes. Joe paused, furrowing his brows.
âWait. She thought you were cheating on her?â
âYeah. I mean, all the signs were there. We hid things from her, sent texts like that, she had to have expected something.â
âAnd you didnât try to prove her wrong?â
âShe was losing her mind.â
âSo you lost yours? Doesnât mean you have to fuckinâ hit her, dude. We havenât done one thing since I got to Charleston. Sure, there was a bit of flirting here and there, but you know we didnât do anything!â
âI went to your room and we made out.â His eyes connected with his once again, causing Joe to let out a heavy sigh, letting go of his face before passing his drink back to him. Sitting across from him, he rested his arms on his knees. âWhere are my cigarettes?â Roman said between sips.
âI thought you said no smoking in the house while Daisyâs here.â
âSheâs on the other side of the fucking house with the door closed. Get me my fucking cigarettes.â Without another word, Joe reached inside his coat and passed them over, using his lighter to light one up for him. Roman took it, breathing in carefully before letting it go, closing his eyes.
âSo, now what?â
âWe wait.â
âFor what?â He didnât answer, only taking measured puffs of the one thing that could slowly kill him. This wouldnât be over, and he was ready for whatever was thrown his way. Heâd gotten out of one mess after the other. As long as he had his best friend and his daughter, he wouldnât lose this fight.
âMmm if I ever get the chance to finally put my passport to use I will definitely do that. Iâll also have to get you to tell me all the best places to eat.â Paige liked talking to people who had seen more of the world than she had. For a second she lived vicariously through them, and that was nice. âMe? I hail from New York City, born and bred, never really left it all my life. The trek to Charleston is the first time Iâve ever been out of state. Came forâŚa good job offer at the high school as a teacher. I learned the hard way that I donât like long road trips at all. Should have flown butâŚalasâŚI was carting my horses along with me.â Her head tilted and she took a moment to count weeks in her head. âI think Iâve been here about three months.â
âLittle town like that, youâre best bet is making some friends who know how to cook up a mean lobster and make sure to try fiddleheads. They are probably the best veggie Iâve ever tasted, especially covered in a bit of butter and well seasoned.â He grinned, letting out a lighthearted chuckle. âNew York? Where about did you live? I travel up there every so often to check on things, but Iâve been having an increasingly little need to go back and forth now that my daughterâs living with me.â He mused, crossing his arms over his chest. âI donât imagine anyone likes to fly, but itâs definitely faster. So youâre working at the high school? What are you teaching?â