Does anyone else feel kind of stuck dating?
I'm 27, from around the Ottawa area in Canada, and I genuinely don't know where and how to meet people. Like I've never had a girlfriend.
I've tried dating apps a few times, and every single time they absolutely destroyed my mental health. So now some of my friends are like, "Get off the apps!" while others are like, "Put yourself out there!". Okay but I genuinely don't know where to start truthfully.
Like I work in event management and at a farmers' market, so I meet a lot of people, but it's vendors, customers, families, and coworkers so not exactly people I'm looking to date.
I also don't really drink, bars and clubs have never been my thing, and most of my hobbies are pretty independent. I like photography, bugs (yes, I'm absolutely the weird bugs girl lol), art, gaming, etc.
I also don't have a huge friend group. One of my friends is trying so hard to help me, bless her heart lol, but aside from that, I don't really have this big social circle. So when people say, "You'll meet someone through friends!" I'm just here like okay I need people for that??
The part I struggle with the most is that I'm 27 and I've never been in a relationship. Maybe it's just my own insecurity, but sometimes it feels like people hear "I've never had a girlfriend" and assume there's something wrong with me before they've even gotten to know me. Whether that's actually true or not, it's hard not to feel that way sometimes and it honestly sucks.
I'm actually happy with my life too, I like my job, I love my hobbies, and I don't feel like I need someone to be happy but I just really want the chance to experience that kind of love someday you know?
So for those of you who met your partner without dating apps, how? Please teach me your ways lol.
Notable replies:
JayGizbar: Well, mutual friends tend to help. You go out with friends, they bring other friends, you mingle, social group gets bigger (regardless if you like it or not. I am an introvert and I simply hate to meet new people but is almost unavoidable). Then by experience you kind of cross someone's path and things happen. Apps is usually a big miss until a hit happens. And not even talking about matching, but actually dating. I did met my ex wife through an app, but took 3 years to actually meet someone that actually clicked. Social events are also a thing, but also a hit and miss. I hate those too, and I tend to disappear into a corner just to be quiet for a while, but some people do not understand boundaries in those events. But that's pretty much it. Friends is the best option, since they usually vet the crazies by default before you even meet them. Social events and hobbies pretty much second best, comon interests and people irl are completely different than behind a keyboard. Apps... well good luck
Fawlow: Hey, I'm in Ontario as well! Just not close to Ottawa unfortunately I can relate with the dating apps. I started using them on and off when I was 19, but it felt like nothing really worked out. Once I realized how much the dating apps destroyed my mental health, I stopped using them. The "put yourself out there" is some tough advice. I never like that kind of advice, it's just so vague and difficult to grasp on. I'm kind of introverted so the idea going to social events its a huge NO for me, lol I think there's still a lot of us over 25 who has never been in a relationship and to me I think that's perfectly fine, there's nothing wrong with that. I think we can agree dating in general is just exhausting sometimes, especially modern dating where people can easily just ghost you or not even respond back to you for trying to make the first move, etc. It really messes things up Sadly, I have no advice for share. I kind of just "gave up" on trying to form any kind of connections. That has been also taking a mental toll on me too but if something or someone great comes around, that would be very appreciated and something I don't want to avoid
Alejandralovestacos: Yes! I’m a homebody who isn’t a much of a fan of going out and I prefer smoking mj instead of drinking so it’s been pretty tough for me. I never liked dating apps so pretty much my other option is groups/communities but that’s even a struggle because no one can carry a conversation/I’m the one stuck with asking things. Or they’re not over their ex ugh I see people have met their wives through Reddit sooo shooting my shot if anyone sees this lol
JaxTango: Go to pride events, I’m sure there’s plenty in Ottawa atm. You like photography? Try to go on meetup and sign up for some photo walk groups. Go a few times and chat on the girls, eventually you’ll suss out which ones are gay and straight. Ask the gay ones out. Lastly, in-person queer speed dating is my fav. I like meeting 10-20 people in one night and have gotten the majority of my dates from that. Lastly, keep the apps, just don’t put all your eggs into them. Swipe when you can and meetup early (within 1-2 days of chatting) instead of chatting for weeks.
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Originally shared by LittleTomate on r/ActualLesbiansOver25 on July 5th, 2026 at 11:33 PM UTC.
