Actual Lesbians

33 and had a few bad ones but this one is absolutely fucking destroying me. I won’t get into the details of it but it was a very very very sad situation. It’s been a couple of months now but I’m just feeling completely and absolutely bulldozed by the intensity of sadness I feel sometimes.

I would love some practical advice or some words of wisdom idk man I’m struggling

Some replies that stood out:

BigSwordLady: Time. Patience with yourself. And supportive friends.

Gaijin91: Vigorous physical activity can help you feel a LOT better

Bluebloop1115: Therapy Really it’s time and you investing in yourself. Eat, shower, sleep. Then add doing a fun activity. You slowly rebuild yourself. It took about 6 months for me to just start the pain feeling less intense.

Born-Crew9362: I’m going through the same situation, and writing has been a source of relief for me. I’ve always loved writing poetry, and after what I went through, it became a way to make sense of my feelings. I hope you’re doing okay and that time heals this feeling.

Rosy_pine: I really resonate - it’s been several months and even still, there are days I am wrecked with grief. I’m so sorry you’re struggling. You’ve made it through bad times before and you’ll make it through this too 💞 I don’t think I have anything to say you haven’t read or thought of before. But for what it’s worth, try your best to take care of yourself. Lean on friends, get outdoors, engage in your hobbies and be open to experimenting with new ones, allow yourself the space to cry and process, eat nourishing foods, change up your hairstyle, get a tattoo or piercing if that’s something you’re into, go to events even when it feels hard, good sleep is a big one, and consider speaking to a mental health professional if that’s something you can access. There unfortunately is no one remedy to make things better. It seems like it comes down to a willingness to keep going and time..letting your brain make new memories and experiences (or so I’ve been told lol). If you want to chat privately, you’re welcome to pm me. Sending you lots of compassion and supportive energy!!

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Late selfie Sunday!

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Good reasons to get stronger

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Hi guys,

I (f26) have started going on dates a friend (f25). We’re spending a lot of time together and I like her A LOT.

I’ve always identified as bi, but have only ever been on odd dates with women and have much more experience dating men - though I’ve now realised men dont align with me at all.

Basically, I really really like this girl and I don’t want to mess it up. We’re both quite shy, introverted people, so I know she won’t take the lead on initiating intimacy. I get far too in my head in the moment and worry about making things awkward.

We’ve been on quite a lot of dates now so I feel like the time is right and want our relationship to grow in that way. I’m worried about missing the opportunity and this staying a friendship. I want to make sweet love and marry her!

Does anyone have any advice, suggestions or personal experience that might put my mind at ease/ give me courage/ make me feel less alone in this experience? Please share🙏🏻💗

Notable replies:

Nonamecokezero: ok, I’m coming from the future to help you ~ here’s what you’re gonna do: invite her over to stay the night, plan to cook or have dinner. this planning to sleepover is gonna help a lot cause she’s gonna be prepared (I’ve heard this, lmao as someone who once even fuxked up on initiating during a sleepover. I learned, she will be ready) blah blah backstory stuff fast forward to night of - make or eat the dinner, put on some music and candles also (things for vibes / also easing tension / romance) chill for a bit and then tbh you can go from there and just lock in for 2 seconds and make eye contact, ask if you can kiss her. just go for it, just giveeeerrr 🙂‍↕️ she’s already here, fuck any thoughts or anxiety in this moment, she wants the same thing, it will only be tough this first time fr! so anyways you’re making out with her and stuff now, so you can just naturally maybe brush your arm down her back & put a couple of your fingers under her shirt (pause & ask her, cause this is important and also sexy “is this okay?”) she says yeah? ok cool yea kissing and hand under the shirt and stuff, one thing leads to another. you feel me? no! pay attention and feel her!! you got it from here I’m sure 🫡 to relieve anxiety in the moment just imagine and do stuff that you think you’d like being done to yourself

Amandamay1003: If you really wanna like/ get confirmation before. I always feel like there’s a “moment” where it’s quiet and you’re looking at each other (eye contact, glancing at their mouth), and I say something cute like “I really wanna kiss you right now” then they can either giggle and avoid (if it’s a no) or they can say yes/id like that and boom go for it. Literally I’ve never been denied and it works. Also if you wanna like hold hands but too scared to grab it, when walking I usually loop my arm around theirs and again it’s feels cute and initiates touching w out being “too much” or invasive but sets the tone. Hopefully those two things aren’t too intimidating and you can gain some confidence of establishing- I don’t wanna be your friend vibes haha

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My friends are all queer, but they're not lesbians. Most of the are bisexual and the other one is unlabeled.

My partner is bisexual and sometimes she jokes about riding her fav characters dihh or whatever. I joke about those sometimes. But it's never serious because I'm a lesbian lol. (I get uncomfortable but I just don't say anything because there's nothing wrong with that. They're fictional)

Sometimes my friends expresses how much attractive this man is or they all read BL (yaoi, boys love) and I just can't relate to them. I have my fair share of attraction to men...mostly fictional or like "oh yeah he's attractive" but that's about it.

I have been posting things about how I feel like I should just be bisexual because (irl) most of the women I know are straight. Of course, their topic is always about men. I never really told my friends that they also make me feel like that. I know sexuality isn't a choice. If I could be bisexual just to fit in, then I would've been a long time ago.

There's nothing wrong about being bisexual or people who like men. This is more of a me thing. I just don't relate to them that much and whenever BL or anything related to men is being talked about, I just disappear. Sometimes, I wish I'd have at least one lesbian friend who I could talk about women or yk just not about men.

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New hair who dis

Genuinely in love with how it turned out

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hello hello,

as did half of the lesbian population this week, I’ve just watched Sterling Point (if you haven’t, please go!!) and I loved Ramona and Oona’s arc.

I am not much of a romance fan myself, but after watching the series I would be keen to read a friends to lovers wlw romance! any recs, girls?

What people had to say on Reddit:

Radwaymm: On the Same Page by Haley Cass.

Secretbestie5683: Here to watch the comments and get recs !

Great_Albatross6781: 1. On the Same Page by Haley Cass 2. Pining Paradox by Monica McCallan

Normal_List_1508: Don't have have any recs buy I just want to say shoutout to Sterling Point. What a great show!

Kumirkohr: Her Name In The Sky by Kelly Quindlen - YA

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GayOTD

Atp, idk if I'm a masc, a fem, a menace to civil society or just lacking subtle core definition because of a severe aversion to gyms.

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Lesbians On The Couch Again

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My 2026 Lesbian Lit Tier List

Lesbian books I read in 2026, plus a few I read late last year because I do what I want! Most of the books on this list are horror. I just love books and wanted to share :) it's honestly a shame how long it took me to get to some of these books!

Heres a list of all of them in case the tiny photos aren't legible!

●OBSESSED WITH IT● This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone, Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir, Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir, Feast While You Can by Mikaella Clements and Onjuli Datta, Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

●LOVED IT● The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling, A Light Most Hateful by Hailey Piper, The Starving Saints by Caitlin Starling, Rainbow Black by Maggie Thrash, Spoiled Milk by Avery Curran, My Lesbian Experience With Lonliness by Nagata Kabi

●LIKED IT● A Game in Yellow by Hailey Piper, Sister and Brother by Joan Nestle and John Preston, Dyke Drama by Leslie Lange, In Universes by Emet North

●FELT INDIFFERENT ABOUT IT● The River Has Roots by Amal El-Mohtar, Hammajang Luck by Makana Yamamoto, The Long Trail by Penny Hayes, The Dawnhounds by Sasha Stronach

●DISLIKED IT● Wilder Girls by Rory Power

●HATED IT● They Drown Our Daughters by Katrina Monroe, The Fox and the Devil by Kiersten White

●DIDN'T FINISH IT● Someone You Can Build A Nest In by John Wiswell, Dykette by Jenny Fran Davis

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Hi ✨

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Is it just me or is it getting worse in online spaces? I don’t think it has ever been this bad/normalized. Every other week there’s a new discussion surrounding our community and it’s never something good. People all feel the need to share their uninformed takes and it’s even worse when it comes from a big creator and fellow queer person. And to see them get corrected or criticized … and then double down. Nobody seems willing to listen and take into consideration what others have to say. And now with the whole this tiktok discussion around les4les, a lot of people feel way too comfortable sharing their prejudice. Troll comments is one thing but seeing this going mainstream has me feeling some type of way. It’s so frustrating. It’s crazy to see lesbophobia (and transphobia) coming from the people you expect to curate a safe space.

I have a very queer and accepting friend group and I know I’m lucky but I cant stop thinking about lesbians (especially the youth) who live in conservative areas that can only find community in online spaces. It can’t be good to be exposed to constant hate. I hope everyone is doing okay and staying safe 💗

A few replies that stood out:

Selinetheowl: lots of erasure as well :/ it's so weird seeing something that encapsulates a huge part of your life being deemed un wanted in a non aggressive yet still hateful way...

Splvtoon: way too many people act like lesbians are uniquely problematic or messy, or untrustworthy until proven otherwise, and its literally just the mean lesbian stereotype repackaged 😭 meanwhile barely anyone ever cares to discuss lesbophobia let alone listen to us about it, even on here. its exhausting.

Meekie_e: It’s always been bad. Lesbian discussions are just so disingenuous when non lesbians are talking about us. There are always assumptions being made, and when lesbians speak up to correct them, we’re ignored and talked over. There’s a big queer content creator spreading lies about les4les and claiming that anyone who identifies as les4les is a terf. The fact that she said she’s suspicious of lesbians, that’s how people see us. Sadly, I’ve only seen lesbians speaking up about lesbophobia. It feels nonexistent within the rest of the community. I messed up my for you page, and I need to get back to looking at wholesome videos. Looking up lesbian content just isn’t worth the hassle anymore when we’re constantly getting dogpiled.

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I have never felt so devastated after reading a book, while reading a book. It just ripped off my heart in the best possible way. Still crying

Throughout the book, the miscommunication, the betrayal, I just wished somehow they get together. They were so in love, they meant to be together. But finishing it I realized, they should've never met in the first place let alone be together. I don’t really know if I hate Erica or not. If I do, I can't point out exactly how much. But a question is circling around my head especially in the end, "Did she ever loved Laure? Or Ant? If she did then what form of love was that"

I have never written anything about books in online. I wouldn’t have this time too but the book was too much and I had to share the feeling, get off the pain in my chest. So I choose this place. Apologies for my bad English

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Sapphic Gym Fit

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We Need A Win!

Hey Everyone! My girlfriend and I are contenders in Americas Favorite Couple and we are loosing to straight people!!! If you could vote for us (it’s free) it would mean the world! Americas Favorite Couple has never had a queer couple win, and hasn’t had a lesbian couple in the finals. We want to be the very first queer couple to make it all the way to the end! A little about us: We met on Hinge and connected over our shared love for hiking, reading, and video games! Our first date was about three hours long- we couldn’t get enough of eachother and still haven’t for two and a half years! We’re both deeply committed and in love- and we want to share our love story with the world! please vote here

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ok so can’t believe i’m admitting this but yeah i’m only 19 and i get so horny all the time it’s like?? am i ok?? like any time i see a hot girl with muscles i immediately get a little turned on lol i got a thing for girls with muscles. but yeah i’m so embarrassed because i feel weird like i don’t wanna objectify them😭 obviously i love normal things too but maybe i js have a high sex drive idk? i don’t have a gf or anything so i sometimes resort to self pleasure but yeah i just like am wondering if its normal. like especially because i don’t have a gf it’s like omg. anyways basically is anyone else like this or am i just a freak? lmk i guess👍

Some comments that stood out:

Shirev: People have varying levels of libido. Having a high libido, as seems to be the case for you, is totally normal. Especially at like 19.

AffectionateBid3255: yes same

Pagetwenty8: YES!!! I said this to another girl in a post but girls are allowed to be horny. Some people's drive is higher than others. I'm 39 years old and I've been horny my whole life. It's totally normal, girl!

Nvrbefor: Yeah literally going through the same thing

Material-Girl-1333: Yeah it’s totally normal! Everyone’s libido is different. Mine is super high and that’s just normal for me.

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I have been experiencing an enormous amount of horniness, and it's been making me feel so hopeless. I haven't been able to focus on my work or be productive in any sense. I also feel hideous when I look in the mirror. I'm feeling like an incel - the first iteration of it that was coined by a woman though.

I never had the experience of dating and romance. I thought that I might be acearo, but I do want to experience the love that people rave about. I want to experience that intimacy that people talk about, but I feel so detached from the culture. I am shy, awkward and come off as mean sometimes so people generally avoid me. I also am kinda ugly; I honestly think I'm average but average in this society is ugly. My body isn't even nice enough to objectify lol.

What is going on with me? I didn't have this longing before, I was pretty content with my loneliness until recently. And before you ask, my therapist is homophobic and expensive.

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