Actual Lesbians

Me (31F) and my fiancés (34F) engagement just ended after 4 years together. She decided out of nowhere she didn’t want to be together and has totally just discarded me. We lived together in a big city and I had to quit my job and move back home with my parents. Now I’m in a small conservative town I have no friends in with no queer community anywhere near. This is the worst heartbreak of my life and it’s really hard feeling like I’m starting my life over in my 30’s with no money or friends, especially no queer community. If anyone has advice, been through the same, or just wants to be friends I’d love that. I’m really drowning right now.

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35 and Dating

Dating gets harder the older I get. I am also in the south (US) where it’s not AS acceptable. (Still!)

Anyone want to just skip the apps and get into the DMs?

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I recently ended a relationship with the only woman I’ve got to Dom. I really enjoyed it, and I’m sad it’s over. However, it did teach me that I’m not very into casual, I much prefer a deeper connection. The thing is, I’m worried I won’t be as sexually compatible with other women, I have a fairly high sex drive. I’m curious if once I start dating again if it’ll be hard to find someone who is compatible with my sexual desires (I’m a dom verse so I’d like a sub verse)

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Edit: By Elle Alexanda

Just finished the best book I've read in weeks. I felt like I was on a streak of average to DNF books until I started this one. Being a musician and music lover, I could really relate to Catherine, but being an intellectual with a casual vibe, I could totally relate to Theo.

But, even better than the characters, I loved the imagery in the writing. When the author describes body language, looks, reactions, emotions...I could see them and sometimes found my body mimicking what I read (the way she described releasing a breath or letting tension out of the shoulders).

There was only one spicy scene, but I thought it was beautiful.

I tend to read to clear my mind, often multitasking while reading and just skimming along but not really absorbing. With this book, I found myself reading slowly and deliberately, sometimes reading a particularly good line multiple times just to savor it.

If you've read it, feel free to share your thoughts. If you haven't, I highly recommend it.

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When I’m doing it, it feels sooo right. When my girl is laying there naked, looking so gorgeous all I can think about is making her feel good.

There’s people out there that will say that’s “wrong” but how could it be? What’s so “wrong”? I think it’s wrong they’ve never experienced the pure ecstasy I feel when our clits line up perfectly together and we both just get lost in the feeling. It might be wrong that we kiss so hard that the insides of our lips are bruised the next morning. Or maybe it’s wrong that we started on the left side of the bed and ended up on the floor because the sheets are soaked.

It can’t be wrong when it comes so naturally between us. When we get so wet for each other that we have to wipe it up with a towel. When I’m looking up at her and I can even feel her pleasure When we switch positions so effortlessly and look up and it’s 3am, we started at 11?

What people on Reddit said:

No-Trust-2720: It's strictly because of religious indoctrination. If they didn't beat their bible so much, ALOT more gay sex would be happening. I mean, in Ancient Greece it was perfectly acceptable social behavior.

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I haven't had any sexual experiences but..I just wanna know with proper detail. Cuz I only feel more aroused when I do it on my clit. So like idk if I would be aroused if they go for my vagina. I mean I've tried to do it to self, but it really isn't..enjoyable much.

I wanna know if anyone had any similar experiences and if it actually felt good.

A few replies that stood out:

SlothZoomies: I don't feel anything when I do it to myself, but if they're good with their fingers... I feel everything 🫠 But it really depends on the woman... We're all a little different

PotatoPlayerFever: the fun part is not knowing, whats the next move of the person doing it .. its a warm, exciting, heart pumping feeling

Kittaylover23: i mean it’s bette than by yourself bc you don’t get a wrist cramp and the angle is better

DaisyChained427: Some bodies prefer some stimulation over others. If it’s not enjoyable to do on yourself it prob won’t be enjoyable when another person does it. Of course, once you start having those experiences things may change

Anonymous9845: I personally don’t experience anything from penetration. I kind of wish I did at times, but I do not. Don’t worry though, it won’t impede your sexual life too much. Just express that to any future partners and as long as they’re decent human beings, they’ll respect that.

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Lesbians On Bicycles

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I lowkey hope this isn’t a weird question but I’m curious. Are there any other eaters here who have extremely clear skin?? I do wash my face but only with water (sometimes dove soap), I don’t think just water can give me clear bright skin. Is my girlfriend’s pussy a face cleanser? My face is glowing, my skin has never been brighter in my life.

I know I know I should probably use some actual face cleansers and moisturizers don’t hate me.

Some standout replies:

Gender_noncompliant: Pretty sure it's a combination of genetics and several other factors, not pussy

Hopeless_umut: Lower stress maybe

StillStanding_96: I think if this was a thing, we would know about it by now. Women of all skin types have been eating each other for millennia, so if there was a causal relationship it probably would have been discovered by now.

Electronic-Pie7237: It’s that vitamin P

Singularmother69: I would not risk it and keep up, perhaps even increase your pu$$y intake.

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I’ve 23(F) been with my girlfriend (27f) for about 2.5 years, and I’m feeling incredibly conflicted. For context, I genuinely tried to make this relationship work. We fell into an anxious/avoidant dynamic where she became more emotionally distant and I became more anxious. Over the last 6-8 months, we had multiple breakups (they only lasted about a week each), lots of uncertainty about the relationship, and repeated conversations where she expressed doubts about us. I constantly felt like I had to fight for the relationship. That period took a huge toll on me. I lost weight from stress, my anxiety got significantly worse, my productivity tanked, and I spent months ruminating over whether we were going to make it. Recently, things have actually gotten better. She’s putting in more effort our relationship feels more balanced than it did a few months ago. The problem is… I almost feel like I reached my limit right before things got better. Instead of feeling relieved, I feel emotionally detached. I don’t really enjoy being affectionate anymore, and I’m realizing that I don’t think I was ever very physically attracted to her. The attraction I did have mostly came from how emotionally safe and connected I felt with her. Once that emotional safety disappeared during all the turmoil, I feel like my physical attraction disappeared too. Also recently, I unexpectedly developed feelings for someone else. I barely know this person, so I’m not asking whether I should leave my relationship for another person. What it did show me, though, is that I’m capable of feeling a level of physical attraction that I honestly don’t think I’ve ever consistently felt in my current relationship. It challenged my belief that my girlfriend was my only chance at finding someone I could deeply connect with. Now I’m questioning everything. Is it superficial to end an otherwise loving relationship because you’re not physically attracted to your partner anymore? Or is physical attraction an important part of long-term compatibility that I shouldn’t ignore? I also struggle because I don’t know whether this is something that can come back after everything we’ve been through, or if I’m just trying to force something that’s no longer there. Has anyone been in a similar situation? If you stayed, did the attraction return? If you left, did you regret it?

Here are some replies:

Bambiipup: doesnt sound like youre breaking up with her cos you dont wanna jump her bones, sounds like youre done with an emotionally horrific situation. which when you actually get down to the meat of it is more than understandable. love is not supposed to be something you scrape and claw for; its supposed to feel like home. but for what its worth - you can break up with anyone for any reason ever.

FastTelephone2521: Didn’t you post this already? Like verbatim. For real the relationship impacted your mental health and trust. Just break up. But also like not super wise to jump into something new after a two year long toxic relationship.

ContingentMax: That's a lot of words to say you don't want to be with them. Leave them, they deserve to be with someone who wants them, and you should be with someone you actually like.

Lunarthistles: I think you two have broken up multiple times and done a back and forth dance that took a major toll on the relationship- and your attraction left when the security did during that time period. Sometimes attraction returns with concerted, intentional effort on both parties. Sometimes it doesn’t. I am divorced because in my case, that attraction never returned. I am over the moon happy with my current partner and our attraction to each other is through the roof because we continuously put in the effort for each other. I believe it’s worth leaving for.

Evening-shades: No but it sounds like she put your through the wringer emotionally which is a deal breaker by itself

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Heyo, does anyone know any wlw books where the main couple has a clear power imbalance, but the person who is technically “on top” is so ridiculously in love that the other one basically has all the power in the relationship anyway?

i’m thinking of books like Crier’s War, Lowest Healer, Highest Mage (Clem and Wist series), or maybe The Woman from the Waves. basically that kind of vibe where one of them is more powerful, higher-ranking, dangerous, etc., but completely gone for the other person.

A few replies that stood out:

Fuku_fuku: Kiss of Seduction. One is basically the Queen of fiends in a big city and the other one is a nobody

Imaginary-Board-207: Came here to say Kiss of Seduction but I think Those Who Wait fits this too. One is a politician from a powerful political family and the other is a grad student.

Sadie1525: Wild by Meghan O’Brien — One of the protagonists is a terrifyingly powerful shifter. She is also depressingly lonely, has basically zero self-esteem, and would do literally anything the woman she loves asks her to do. I really like that dynamic. Most supernatural x human romances tend to make the supernatural lover dominant, which always makes me kinda uncomfortable. I much prefer the reverse.

Gender_eu404ia: Scatter by Molly J Bragg could count. The love interest is one of (if not the) most powerful superheroes on Earth. The fourth book in the series, Rhapsody, also has a similar power imbalance and one of my most favorite love confessions that so clearly illustrates how far gone the love interest is.

Keroppi_Troublemaker: A Whisper of Solace

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Ever since I even JOINED, this subreddit in 2020 there has been a massive influx of obvious compliment-seeking and validation posts from all sorts of people. Seriously, you need to stop seeking validation from random ass people on Reddit. Yes you can absolutely meet people on Reddit, but now this sub is infested with just bullshit posts about 'do I look pretty?' 'why am I not getting matches on (insert dating app)?' and the bane of my existence, 'do I look gay enough?' STOP. we don't know jack shit about your life, why you aren't getting tinder matches, and there is no such thing as 'not looking gay enough'. so for the sake of every other lesbian in this sub who wants to have a proactive conversation about the community, OR are going through a situation and might need someone else's view on it, STOP!

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I feel like most people make out by kissing, touching tongues here and there, and using their lips. But my gf of three weeks literally sticks their tongue in my mouth and just keeps swirling it around nonstop like a whirlwind. 😭

Is this a normal kissing style and I’m just not used to it, or is it kinda unusual? What does making out usually look like for you guys?

Some notable replies:

GloomyShroom7: i feel like that is quite unusual

N9nthHouse: Tbh that sounds like a pretty bad kiss. Kissing's supposed to be a mutual activity, & a form of physical communication. It should feel like you're 'speaking' to each other. Give & take; push & pull. Learning & communicating... Not just one person tolerating something you're not having much fun with, while the other person carries on oblivious. As a rule of thumb, if one participant's sitting there thinking, "Uhhhhh is this normal??", then it's not a good kiss. I'd raise it with her, gently.

RCheque: One of the hottest people I ever met kissed like that. Instantly no longer attractive 💀

MonaVFlowers: A French kiss shouldn’t be like a tornado! I’d try and gently guide them by asking them to use less force with their tongue. It should be a nice waltz between both participants

OpalescentNoodle: This is not normal for a "French kiss"

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Pretty much every lesbian romance novel I read

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Daria Kasatkina, Russian-born now Australian tennis player & Natalia Zabiiako, Estonian-Russian Olympic silver medalist figure skater just got married in Greece! 🎾⛸️ They left Russia, came out & started a vlog about their lives called 'What The...

https://www.justjared.com/2026/07/16/australian-tennis-star-daria-kasatkina-marries-natalia-zabiiako-in-romantic-greece-wedding/

Daria "Dasha" Kasatkina is more than just a famous tennis player, she is just an amazing person. In 2022, when she was still a Russian player, she condemned the war against Ukraine in an interview and also came out publicly as gay in it. It was released on the day Russia accepted a new anti-gay law (both are illegal in Russia). She lives and trains in Barcelona, but her parents are still in Russia. After the interview, the Russian police went to her empty Moscow apartment, many political and media officials attacked her, calling her traitor and pervert, one politician even attempted to officially name her a foreign agent. Her supportive dad has hip problems and he can't travel, which means she hasn't seen him in real life since 2022. She gave up a lot to liva an authentic life.

This year, she decided to officially play for a new country and move to Australia. They've been together with Natalia Zabiiako since late 2021. In 2022, they started a vlog about their lives in professional sport and travelling, which has become of the most popular online contents. And now they just got married in Greece. Many Russian and Ukrainian tennis players celebrated them together.

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Maybe the solution is more awards and medals. Is there a Lesbian Congressional Medal of Honor? How badly do you need to be cramping to get a Medal of Valor for still getting the job done instead of just the commendation? Who gets a Fifa Peace Prize? What’s the first Nobel Prize in Lesbianism awarded for?

Some comments that stood out:

Frankensundae: Service Top Medal of Freedom

Decafdyke: Distinguished Service Cross for those lesbians who married a man before figuring it out and then had to bravely extricate themselves afterward. (We should present awards to the ex husbands too, if they handled the situation with reasonable grace)

Sixchambr: I want a gold star for still showing up to Thanksgiving every year, despite knowing my family are gonna say sum shit abt my sexuality and my grandma is gonna overcook that turkey

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ugh. i wish it didnt bother me as much as it does. im on the heavier side (bigger tummy, big thighs, no ass) and my girlfriend is sooo fit. goes to the gym regularly, runs, the whole 9 yards. were definitely going to be intimate soon & it makes me so nervous.

rationally, i know confidence is sexy and i know she knows what i look like. i feel like i compare myself SO much. like why would she want to be with me when fitter people exist? shes never made me feel bad (ive never talked about my insecurities really) in our few months of dating but its always in the back of my mind

how the hell do i get over this?

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I’ve never been kissed, never held hands, never been desired romantically. Despite my best efforts, I’ve been single all my life, while my friends have gotten in and out of relationships with ease. At what point should I accept that love is not in the cards for me? And, for reference, at what age did you have your firsts? Thanks in advance :)

Some notable replies:

Sharp-Composer-3050: I was 28 before I had my first kiss and 30 before I went all in with someone (my now-wife). We finally got married at 34. It’ll happen, but it may take longer than you want—it definitely took longer than I wanted, but my wife was worth the wait. I’d actually given up and taken a break from dating when my wife showed up in my inbox. You just never know when your person’s going to come for you.

GlowInTheDarkSpaces: How old are you? I see these posts from 20-year olds and it’s sort of ridiculous. People is assisted living have active dating lives. Focus on the why. Are you autistic? introverted? absurdly picky? There is some reason, work on that.

Mi-sopiras-vin: NEVER is the answer to your first question. You should NEVER give up on love. People get engaged in nursing homes. People find their soulmates in cancer treatment centers. You are surrounded by love every day just by existing in this world, and it WILL find you - that is a promise (although it also low-key sounds like a threat 😅).

MichelleReneewlw: Never. The timing may not be right but you deserve love. It'll happen.

Capt3in: def not 18 😭 im 23 and still haven’t had my first relationship or kiss.

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