Actual Lesbians

Valerie Hunter is officially my new favorite author.

I just finished reading She’s My Eternity, The Girl Who Bit Me sequel. i stayed up until 4am reading and im literally going insane. I wanted to put it down so many times because I have to go to work today but I PHYSICALLY COULD NOT DO IT. what kind of drugs are in this woman’s books?? i enjoyed the girl who bit me so much but this might actually be even better. idek. i’m so tired and so wired. READ IT SO I CAN SPEAK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THIS. i know she just released this book but i need another one right now

View on Reddit

It was amazing but I'm also so scared y'all. When I say this woman is my best friend, I mean like best friend I've ever had in my entire life, I fucking love her to pieces. I don't want that to change or get fucked up.

We were out last night and at one point she was like jokingly saying we should kiss so I kissed her on the lips, but it kind of escalated and we end up frenching for like way too long, I'm freaking out but also loving it which was confusing. Eventually when she drove me home we were sitting in her car outside my place and we just couldn't stop kissing. She ended up going home instead of staying over because we both agreed things would escalate more if she came inside and we were both kind of scared of the implications of that on our friendship.

Some background, we've both admitted to being attracted to each other since we first became friends. To be honest I've had some kind of crush on her our entire friendship, but it was never like a problem. We've joked that we would totally bang each other, and when we go out people often assume we're a couple and sometimes we lean into it as a "joke". We're very physically affectionate with each other, but in like a besties way. I've very much enjoyed this dynamic, it always felt very platonic to me, we just know each other very well and are super comfy with each other.

So dear wiser and more experienced lesbians, what do you think? Am I flying too close to the sun here? I'm really worried I'm going to navigate this wrong and lose my best friend. I'm so conflicted because last night deep down, I wanted her to come join me in my bed. But at the same time, I rationally don't want to be anything more than best friends with her, because I care about her way too much and she deserves someone a lot better than me if that makes sense. I guess part of me is hoping someone will say "no you don't have to shut that shit down right now, you can totally have your cake and eat it too".

What people had to say on Reddit:

Alarmed_Secretary572: If you really like her, go ahead! This happened to me and it was heaven <3

Phiasch: If you’re attracted to each other and want to be more than friends, it sounds like it could work out well for you both Is there a specific reason you don’t want a romantic relationship with her? If it’s just because you don’t feel adequate, that’s not a very good reason not to pursue her

Losonti: Ask her out. You've already crossed the friendship boundary.

Cliticalthinking991: Not sure if you're a swiftie but... "ruin the friendship. better that than regret it for all time."

Bruinsfan3725: Go for it

View on Reddit

- “wow men’s hairy chests are gross”

- “I wonder why I never feel anything when kissing men”

- ”I wish he would stop touching me. Why do guys always want to cuddle and kiss all the time?"

- "I wish intimacy was done faster, or maybe that he had boobs..."

- "He's so perfect. Why do I feel nothing? What is wrong with me?"

- "All the girls in school are so boy crazy. But I'm better because I'm not."

Notable replies:

Nerdsfunnycluster: also never understanding love songs. Being flabbergasted that women actually feel this way about men lol

Imaginary-Treat-8607: for me it’s: “why do people even like kissing” “I wish I could just kiss my friends (female) to practice kissing and see if they were good” “I hate when my bf gets hard” “Touching is penis is so gross” “I just want to sit and talk to him and get to know him better” I say this and I’m still questioning if I’m gay or not 😅

LimitedEdidtion: Yes that was role we play especially growing up in a religious family. Luckily My boyfriend was gay we were for public though.

View on Reddit

So, my best friend of 2 years and I have always had a lot of vibes (hella vibes, crazy vibes). We have recently talked about becoming romantic, and she's coming to stay with me for a few days next weekend, and I want to take things there, I am so into this woman... but, I'm also so self conscious. She is gorgeous, but I just don't feel attractive. I'm a lot heavier than she is, and she's always told me she thinks I'm beautiful, and I know I'm just getting in my own way, but I can't help making the comparison. I'm also terrified of fucking up our friendship. We're both friends with ex's, so I know the option is there if this ends or goes nowhere. I'm just making myself anxious, probably for no reason😵‍💫

View on Reddit

Monday office goth. :3

Just your friendly music therapy goth. 😛

View on Reddit

What are some of yall “icks”.

My ick is coming on too strong and it’s dry. Like when someone is 100% trying to get in your pants. And at first you roll with it because flirting, but that’s it. When you try to bring up other stuff, you get nothing. I mean 100% no hobbies.

Let me refresh your memory: Them: Hey beautiful 😍 You: Hey! How’s your day been? Them: Better now that you’re here. You: Lol. What’d you do today? Them: Thinking about you.

You: What’s your favorite movie? Them: Whatever we’re watching while you’re sitting on my lap.

View on Reddit

Maybe one day I’ll get to spread your legs, and read every chapter of your lips.

While you lay back, I use my fingers to explore your pussy lips, unfolding the chapters, caressing your slippery kitty with my thumb and making you go in orgasmic trance. You’ll be mine for that moment as I enjoy the feast all night along as I push my tongue deep into you.

View on Reddit

So last night, I met a girl I met on an app for a drink early evening, at 6pm. I’ve been feeling really disillusioned with dating recently so I will admit I made the mistake of not eating before hand, because I just assumed it would be another flop, and I’d be leaving and getting pizza on the way home within an hour.

It was not a flop. We didn’t stop talking. We had so much in common, we were flirting, she kept calling me gorgeous, she kept suggesting we get more drinks. I tell her that I’m having a great night, and I would like to get her number and see her again if she feels the same way. She enthusiastically agrees and puts her number in my phone with a smiley face emoji next to it. Somewhere three glasses of wine in on an empty stomach, I say that I really want to kiss her, and she tells me to go for it. She pays for everything, walks me back to the station and we make out again before she tells me ‘goodbye gorgeous’.

This morning she sent me a text saying she enjoyed meeting me but didn’t feel a romantic connection.

Don’t get me wrong, I completely respect her decision to not take things further but when I tell you all I can do is laugh 😂😂😂

View on Reddit

I received an ARC and was not compensated for this review in any way

I don't write reviews very often, but this book is just very important to me. I got to read it early, and I love it so much, it's ridiculous how invested I am in the lives of these fictional vampires. For context, She's My Eternity is the second book in the The Girl Who Bit Me series, and we get to learn more about Yasmine, who was also in the first book, now with her quest to find love. All the beloved characters from the first book, like Aster and Sylvia, and Yasmines son Wallace, are back and get their time to shine as well.

The main couple, Bella and Yasmine are so interesting, a very different dynamic from the couple in the first book, both with them never having met before, and with Bella being human. There is forced proximity, they work together and do science together, while being very attracted to one another. There is also more mystery here than in the first book, which I thoroughly enjoyed, as well as even more expanding on the very creative vampire lore Valerie built, which feels so inventive, when many vampire stories right now feel so similar in tone. There is also the humor from the first book, which I adore, and which is what pulled me into the first book in the first place.

Sapphic vampires are my obsession right now, and here they're done so well. Their love feels real and the characters have very real flaws and doubts about themselves. Like in the first book, the sex scenes are immaculately written and also there's some biting (in a vampire kinda way). I don't want to spoil anything, but there is just so much to this story, and if you have a chance to read it, do it!! It is a perfect continuation of the first book, and also a great story in its own right.

I had the privilege to speak to the author and some other reviewers before this book was released, and it is so fun to talk about and discuss a book you love, which is why I'm writing this review. I'd love to hear about your thoughts, if you've read it already, or thoughts on the first book as well. And if this convinces anyone to read these books, I'd love that as well. There is so much time and effort and love in this book, and you can feel that while reading. Truly a pleasure, in so many different ways.

View on Reddit

I'm just bummed out and need to get it out of my system. Will happily accept commiseration, sympathy, shared experiences, advice, mild-to-medium haters, song lyrics, etc. Sex talk below.

Been dating gf for a year. Both of us mid 20s. She is a feminine beauty newer to sex and likes to receive. I am a slightly traumatized masc-nb-dyke-thing with some weird sex hang-ups. I have a strong desire to both give and receive. She has never touched me down there. I want her to. She says she will soon, she's down to try sometime, etc... but whenever she initiates sex, I always sort of end up in the exclusive giver role and can't figure out how to make things more reciprocal.

Last night it started to happen kind of organically, but I think I took it too far. I briefly shed some tears while she was touching me over my pants (oof, I know), and she got freaked out when I wanted to keep going and wanted to ride her while she wore my strap. It felt like she didn't want to see me without my clothes on, didn't want to be close to my genitals even though I'm buried in hers all the time.

I stopped the sex quickly because I could tell she was feeling detached and overwhelmed. She asked how I felt and I told her I wanted to feel sexually wanted too, which is true but was probably a really bad thing to say in the moment. She started crying, and she cried all night. I had to pivot to caretaker mode, which I could tell she super felt guilty about, but what else was I supposed to do? I made her cry all night.

But then later, when she went home, I* cried. And I had to be my own caretaker.

She says she thinks I'm so attractive, but I feel rejected. I feel the same way I've always felt: Charming, kind, funny, cool, doting, dateable -- but not *fuckable. My honest inkling is that we just have two distinct sexual fears/insecurities that are directly butting heads, and it just kind of sucks to work through. I love her. Maybe gf just has a no-giving boundary. If so, I need her to figure it out and be honest with me. I'll still love her.

But what happens if I have to go another year without being touched? Jeez. Fuck me. (Literally. Please.) (I want her to.)

Some standout replies:

Vestayekta: Ngl, she doesn't sound like she's into women.

Fine-Mail4400: Sorry for being insensitive but I don't think shes really into women. That or a major pillow princess. :(

Actual_nonsense: I don't think that you made her cry at all. You communicated your wants and needs (after she asked how you felt), and she cried because of her issues. Don't take responsibility for making her do anything, she is an adult who needs to self-regulate her emotions. Crying isn't an unhealthy thing to do unless it's used as a manipulation tool. I think maybe therapy is a huge need here. There are very many unresolved hangups that it sounds like you both have about sex in general and with each other. Please do not "settle" for a situationship that is not meeting your needs. It will breed resentment, unhappiness, and that's no way to live. There is a way for both of you to be happy and fulfilled in your lives, but you have to put in the work and identify these issues.

Bugsandbongs: It sounds like she is either a pillow princess or not actually sexually interested in women (now that could mean a few different things i don't necessarily mean she could be straight). regardless, it doesn't seem like she will be touching you anytime soon. she doesn't seem ready, imo. you mentioning you wanting to feel desired and she cried all night, there's something else going on there. if you are receptive to advice currently, i think it's on you to decide if you willing to wait for her while she figures it out (which could possibly be forever) or if that's a dealbreaker for you. you want to feel wanted in a way she's not ready for and it's a lot of pressure on both ends. it's a really tough situation and i really feel for both of you. good luck and remember, if you desire a partner who wants to touch you and pleasure you, that's what you deserve!

Inevitable-Yam-702: Sounds like she is completely unwilling to reciprocate. How long are you going to go without hoping on a "maybe"? You can't date people to change them, don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy. You deserve a relationship with mutual desire and pleasure.

View on Reddit

Ok to preface this isn’t a ‘how can I look more gay’ post, I already look gay bc I am gay lol

I was a masc lesbian for about a decade, I’ve been femme for a few years now. I much prefer being femme but still feel a little lost or like I’m wearing a costume! I think I have an ok fashion sense (gothic/twee/idk lots of puff sleeves and black), my hair is fun, but idk wtf I’m doing with makeup or piercings. Covered in tattoos so I have that down.

I want to have scary but approachable black cat energy and I don’t know how 😭😭 if any fellow black cat femmes have tips I would soooo appreciate it. Thank you!!!

Some replies worth sharing:

Efvie: Maybe some style cues or inspiration that you’d like to move toward? ’Cause whenever someone talks about “black cat femme” I always just think Be Gay Do Crime (Such As Sexy Jewelry Heists) https://preview.redd.it/0f12mhftrgbh1.jpeg?width=1460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4a2a25dad51ab6711acb18f7c67d9b9a8d1b5e9

Grislyfind: I'm picturing 1950s beatnik chick with black cateye glasses, black sleeveless turtleneck, and cuffed blue jeans.

Bisexual_pinecone: Thick black eyeliner, dark toned lipsticks or lip stains, slinky/fitted clothes that show and flatter the shape of your body (doesn't necessarily need to be super tight or revealing! Turtlenecks and jeans can be sexy).

Falconinthedive: When I hear approachable black cat femme, what immediately comes to mind is a black cat with like a little shock of white on the chest. So I would say sleek or tailored black with a white or lace cravat or pussy bow.

WhiningforWine: Maybe try a Smokey eye or winged eyeliner!

View on Reddit

Im 17, soon 18 and I never had a relationship and it feels l will never get one because I have no experience.

Basically, because I have no experience, I should date someone who has experience and someone whos older.

Also before you tear me to shreds in the comments (I beg you please dont), Im sharing my opinion here and what I THINK.

I talked with my mom about this (I dont have anyone else I can talk to), because I started to notice that a lot of young girls wanted to "get to know me", I am talking about girls that are around 11-15 years old.

Dont get me wrong I dont mind them being young and lesbian but they are still kids to me, they are still in school, are going through puberty and are getting to know themselves.

I have a job, I know my body and what I want (a girlfriend who is older and not in school anymore).

Im just confused because a lot of younger girls are crazy for me and try everything to get my attention.

I rejected a lot of 14 year old girls which is genuinely crazy. When I was 14 I didnt even have my first crush, I was poking dead frogs with a Stick in the forest.

What im trying to say is, what makes younger girls choose people like me? Is there a specific way to look at it? Should I just let go and get in a relationship with a person who has even LESS experience than me?

I know im not even 18 yet and I unfortunately still have a lot of time left in my life, but does anyone know WHY its the younger people that go for me?

Also sorry for my terrible english, its not my first language and im genuinely just desperate.

Also I ask you again PLEASE be nice if you comment, I saw some comments in here that genuinely make me question if I really want to date a woman

Some replies worth sharing:

Tall-Introduction649: I would be so concerned if you wanted to date 11-15 yr olds. I mean if you’re almost 18. That whole thing would make me very uncomfortable if I were you!

BuddyLong3069: In the end it’s your preference that matters most. If you don’t wanna date someone that young- DONT 😭😭 I wouldn’t either!! There is a huge mental gap there. U r still a baby urself it sounds, but there are people closer your age who will grow with you that you can date. Trust me. Also, it’s not a race, could be next week could be next year. Things happen fast!

Jerseysaidmaybe: I came out when I was young (12/13ish) and all I wanted was to date. The problem was that majority of other out lesbians were all older, it felt like the people around me who were out were my only option. It’s hard to see the scope of the world when you are so young. People are looking at you and they see the future they crave today. You are so right not to engage with younger people than you and you should honor that feeling. Stay humble and polite but don’t bend to the voices around you because it will back fire.

Cedarwoodandsage333: My assumption is that these girls want someone who is older, the same way you do and possibly for the same reason, if they don't know that you also consider yourself inexperienced. I do understand why you're turning them down though; at 17, 14 would've felt wayyyy too young to me, despite the relatively small age gap.

NotACaterpillar: “I never had a relationship and it feels l will never get one because I have no experience.” You're only 17 haha... Most people barely have much experience at 17, and it's completely normal for people in their 20s to still be virgins. Like completely normal. There's no clock, you're lack of experience isn't a meaningful hindrance to getting a relationship, especially not when you're so so young!

View on Reddit

Someone is using my face and username on tumblr :(

Idk what to do about this but I posted that photo on dykesgonemild forever ago, but that’s not my tumblr account. I use the same username for a lot of my social media accounts and I have people threatening and harassing me now on those and it was super confusing cause I haven’t even used tumblr since like April.

I know it’s probably my fault for posting pictures of my face to the internet, and I have reported this on tumblr now that I’ve found it, but it just really sucks and idk what to do.

View on Reddit

Tried a new makeup routine!

View on Reddit

I'm 17, I live in the deep southern USA, and I am having the shittiest time being a lesbian. It's genuinely taking a toll on me

I love weird/non-conventional pets specifically but I wanna see all of your little dudes

What people had to say on Reddit:

Immediate_Theory8210: i have 9 cats and a dog so this is about to be a long while of cat pictures lmao https://preview.redd.it/19l729rz5lbh1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b4fb2485dcd3477c4f34dd93083ae8000378645 this is bear hes about 2 months

JRB710: Here's my bunny! His names Harey. https://preview.redd.it/hk4suzqaplbh1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05ea165c36112509989708ab4bd9e4246fe34ba6

Yayasmin: That's my dog Nankin (he is the handsome black one, named by that black Chinese ink) and on his right that's his boyfriend, they are neighbors and they are in love https://preview.redd.it/22f1fdrvokbh1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9fbffa502a31f94f18adb748dee80a91d7ecdcbc

ComprehensiveTruck31: https://preview.redd.it/u3k0piimtkbh1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=154c9712e20dfa65888143181b7a7b29e8cd3fc5 They are Mayhem and Chaos. They think they are 180 lbs lap dogs. They are Irish wolfhounds

Dionysus_draws: I'm gonna try to respond to everyone! Thank y'all so much for sharing your babies

View on Reddit

Accepting myself

So I turned 40 this year and I still struggle with self acceptance. What better way to express my inner truth than with a traditional pin up lady :) I’ve always wanted to hide and blend in, which makes me miserable. Does anyone else use art/tattoos to help express their inner selves?

View on Reddit

Fresh mullet for pride!

View on Reddit