Actual Lesbians

It's been a while since I last read something that I could really sink my teeth into and i guess it's time for a tbr refresh. And so I'm snooping on everyone's shelf👀

So what's everyone reading these days?

And if it's possible please put no context spoilers if you're that far enough in the book(this is just for funsies🤣)

Thanks in advance 🙂‍↕️

Some notable replies:

Wanderer2906: Currently obsessed with Mirandy fanfic, also re-listening to The Snowball Effect by Haley Cass with my wife (she's never read a sapphic romance before), and reading The Love Lie by Monica McCallan. Little sprinkling of Life Is Strange fanfic as well as I've just finished LIS: Reunion

Starkicker18: For sapphic fiction in the last month I've read: *The Fixer series by Lee Winter, including the short short, *A Choreography of Longing by Miranda MacLeod and T.B. Markinson, *No Strings and Snow Fall by Gerri Hill, *Guava Flavored Lies by J.J Arias, *Falls From Grace by Ruby Landers, *The Wilds and the Weeds by Ally North, *Atmosphere by Tayylor Jenkins Reid, *Margin of Error by Rachel Lacy, *Whenever You're Ready by Rachel Runya Katz, *Loser of the Year by Carrie Byrd. I'm currently reading Graceless by Ruby Landers, and waiting on Tyton: The Fall by Marine St. Jean, The Malign Ghosts of Summer by Ann McMan, and The Second Draft by Carrie Byrd. Other books on my TBR list include Lighthouse Lovers by Shannon O'Connor, Something About Eve by Jourdyn Kelly, The Tarot Reader of Versailles by Anna Bergman, Angel Fire by Gerri Hill, The Flight Risk by Macon Leigh, the next book in the Dar/Kerry series by Melissa Good (I think I'm on Winds of Change). Recent books beyond the last month that I enjoyed *Coltswood by Jules Revel, *Learning Curves by Rachel Lacey, The Hunter series by Gerri Hill and the Devil's Rock series by Gerri Hill, Losing Sam and Finding Jess by Nicole Maser, The Crows Coven series (2 of 4 so far) by Milena McKay, Stick Around by Eliza Lentzski, *Not Today Satan by T.B Markinson and Miranda MacLeod, *This Means War by Benna Bos *The Secret Pond - Gerri Hill *The Magic of White Oak Lake - Robin Alexander * Literally anything by Ann McMan, Lee Winter, or Jen Lyon Most of these books are romance, some are love stories/literary fiction. I'd recommend all of them, however, I am a notoriously forgiving reader. I rarely DNF books, love almost every genre, though I do prefer slice-of-life stories over grand adventures and I find high fantasy harder to get into than other genres.

Foxx_Foster: Gideon the Ninth; a friend lent it to me. I'm like 200 hundred pages in and it's one of the dumbest and funniest books I've read this year

Mkcat357: The Headmistress by Milena McKay

Great_Albatross6781: I am reading Keys to the Sweet Pink Inn by Corrie MacKay. I am about 2/3 of the way through it. The book is comprised of eight sapphic, erotic vignettes. I am on number 5. The Sweet Pink Inn... "had the lost girls finding their way there created the place, or had the place called them like sirens in a storm?" "Some stories were written before the world was ready for them, doomed to die in the margins, in the small spaces, in fleeting pockets of time."

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I (34F) am Brazilian, bisexual, and I have been living in Dublin, Ireland, for almost two years. In the summer of 2025, I had a four-month relationship with an Irish woman (26F) that I still haven’t been able to recover from.

We met on a dating app, and at the beginning, everything was perfect. She was caring, attentive, and curious about Brazil. It wasn’t difficult for me to fall for her. We talked for two weeks before meeting in person, and it was a magical date.

I knew I was already falling for her.

Talking to her felt easy and effortless. I felt comfortable opening up and talking about everything. She made intense declarations of love and asked me to be her girlfriend in Portuguese on our third date.

It didn’t take long before we started a relationship. We went to many places that summer, explored everything together, and deep down I felt that we could be soulmates. I had never cared about marriage, but with her, I genuinely considered the possibility of marrying her someday. What I felt for her, I had never felt for anyone else.

I was still dealing with some financial difficulties at the time, and I wanted to be more stable before introducing her to my family in Brazil.

But, in the second month of our relationship, she started acting differently. Sometimes she would treat me well; other times she would become cold. She complained about anxiety, insomnia, not having friends, and not being able to find a job. I did everything I could to help her, even when I was falling apart myself and struggling to adapt to a new country.

In the third month of our relationship, she told me she wasn’t ready for a serious commitment, that she couldn’t be in a relationship because she wasn’t mentally in the right place to date.

I told her I didn’t care about labels; I just wanted to be with her. We stayed like that for a month until she cheated on me with another Brazilian woman.

On the day we broke up, we had plans: she was going to have dinner at my place after I left school at 5 p.m. In the afternoon, she confirmed everything. But at 5 p.m., she simply told me she was on the other side of the city because she had gone to a café with a “friend”. I ended up waiting 40 minutes in front of the school until she arrived.

We took the bus towards my place, but she complained about the traffic and we decided to eat in the city centre instead. The whole way there, she kept talking about this friend and texting her constantly.

At the restaurant, I calmly told her that I didn’t mind her going out with friends, but leaving me waiting like that had been unfair. She gave me a very half-hearted excuse.

Afterwards, she said that this “friend” had missed the train and asked if she could join us. Deep down, I was furious. I just wanted some time alone with her, but I ended up saying it was okay.

The woman arrived, and I even acted as a translator between them because the “friend” didn’t speak English. I treated the woman kindly, but my ex was distant and strange.

She became impatient, saying she wanted to leave. When she got home, we had the conversation where she ended things with me. She said I didn’t have the qualities she was looking for in a partner, that I was too innocent, and that she preferred someone more dominant. She also admitted that she felt a connection with that woman.

A few months ago, I posted this story anonymously on Reddit, and she read it. Afterwards, she came to tell me that she had lost interest in me during our second month together, that what she felt for me was just infatuation. She criticized my appearance and my music taste, said she had never felt like she was dating an older woman, that I should go back to Brazil if I wasn’t adapting, and that she was very happy with her current partner.

Nine months have passed since the last time we talked. During this time, I did everything I could to move on. I wrote a poetry book, made wonderful friends, kissed other people, travelled to incredible places by myself, and I am currently in Italy completing my Italian citizenship process.

I have always been comfortable being alone, but after what happened, I feel as if something inside me is broken. I haven’t been able to connect with anyone. I thought about moving back to Brazil, I thought about taking my own life, I lost the little self-esteem I had, and I carry inside me a longing and a pain that never seem to go away.

And today I realize how painful it is to accept that love doesn’t choose where it goes, and that it doesn’t end when the person leaves.

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Has anyone else experienced an increase in their libido once they finally realised that they were attracted to women? I've been coming to this realisation for about four years now, I used to identify as straight until my mid thirties and I've been long term single (prior to that my libido was pretty non existent). I've just turned 40 (am still very single and haven't had an experience with a woman due to having trauma around my herpes status) so I'm not sure if it's hormonal changes or what. Any one else had this happen?

What people on Reddit said:

Spork_o_rama: For sure. A lot of women have a bit of a second puberty/adolescence experience on coming out, and increased libido can be part of that.

Dry-Competition6451: Absolutely! I’m 36 and recently came out to myself earlier this year. I thought I had low libido for a long time. Turns out I actually have a pretty high sex drive for women. I found that out once I admitted my sexuality to myself and allowed myself to fully experience those feelings.

Livia_Quaerit: YUP haha The more I think about it, the more I can't keep my hands off myself lol

Hom0Ner: Absolutely!! I thought I might be asexual for the longest time. Nope - I was just stuck thinking that a single heinous man was my only option. I’m also focused on healing from the past, but I am very eager to fully enter this new era.

Amaayadxb: idk if it's hormonal but this happened to me word for word when i hit my mid thirties and still accepting i was into women. for years married to a man i thought my libido was just completely dead or broken due to several reasons, turns out i just wasn't fueling the right engine. btw don't let the herpes status hold you back forever because the right woman will absolutely understand, your body is just finally waking up to what it actually wants.

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Ah yes, the two genders

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Jan and Valerie by ladysantos

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My gf (48) and I (25) have been together for a year and a half now. I love her very much, and even writing this post doesn’t feel real. Last night was the 6th year anniversary of her mother’s death and we began fighting for something stupid which quickly escalated. I have a lot of my own trauma/ can cry pretty easily so I started doing that. She got very upset with me started choking me, and later on when I asked for a hug she kept saying she was going to hurt me with her fist out til she finally punched me. I am writing this at 5:41 am, she’s next to me asleep now. I don’t know if I should give her a pass/ she had some psychotic break because of her mom I just am so scared and unsure. I am supposed to work at 7 today but I am bruised up and feel like I will breakdown if I leave bed. I feel like it is my fault as we began fighting on a sensitive day for her, but knowing my past (I was abused physically as a child for years) and her hurting me repetitively is so much to grasp right now. Do I try to take the high road and forgive her if she wants that, or is this unsalvageable?(side note yes I am using a burner account for this post as well, just in case she looks on my regular Reddit page).

Some replies that stood out:

Thechemist_ro: You need to get out before it's too late. She's old enough to be a grandma and still throwing punches at someone 20+ years younger than her. You need to go to the POLICE and report her. I know you won't, but you should

Naminecchi: You already know the answer, surely

TwoTrucksPayingTaxes: I'm going to be very blunt. Someone who chokes you like that is statistically more likely to kill you. It is a huge indicator of violence that will escalate. Never stay with someone who puts their hands on your neck when angry. It's risking your life

Iknewwhereyoupooped: Get a bag together and get out. Don’t let the good memories lessen this aggressive and violent behavior. You are a survivor still and know this will continue in some form.

JackMandora: Plan your exit now please, it will only get worse from here. Sending you love.

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(both of us are 19f btw)

ok so i recently discovered that i was lesbian (maybe 2 months ago). since i also grew up in a very very religious household (i no longer follow the traditions of the religion outside of my family home) and had zero self confidence, i never really had a relationship or anything like that.

i’ve been talking to a family friend recently, and i found out that neither of us have had our firsts (well, ive had my first kiss but 1 it was with a person i hated and 2 i was very much drunk and didn’t really know what i was doing). so i proposed the idea of us “practicing kissing” on each other. which she was very very happy to be with. we haven’t done this yet since she lives a 4 hour train journey from me at the moment. once i leave my family home to my own i’ll be less than an hour away from her regardless of the university she goes to. but for now a lot of the time we’re just flirting via messages and talking abt how excited we are to start practicing on each other.

last night i was talking to her about how i just wanted to have friends who also wouldn’t mind having sex, just saying i wouldn’t mind if i had any fwb. she started getting jealous of the idea that i’d be potentially seeing other girls. i told her that our situation wasn’t a fwb situation cuz it’s not like either of us mentioned the idea of us having sex.

but recently the videos that we send to each other have been delving more into sexual things and us just being like “ugh when will this happen to me”.

in all honesty, i really wouldn’t mind sex with her. she already said she wants to practice things before she goes clubbing (both of us grew up in very religious households and i told her about how i have been the opposite of religious while im at uni and she wants to do the same). she said she isn’t one for hookups but she wants to be good at kissing people, so there’s that at least.

do you guys think it’d be weird to propose the idea of us being fwb? apologies if a lot of this is unnecessary word vomit

Some standout replies:

LawyerKangaroo: No, it likely wouldn't be weird. Friends usually don't get jealous of the idea that their friends may have sex with other people, if you catch my drift.

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Love these new bracelets I got ;)

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yesterday's fit but for going out to karaoke! ❤️🖤

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What do my biggest character obsessions say about me?

What people on Reddit said:

Mamepuchi: I only know the anime character (Ran, the main love interest from detective Conan, if anyone is curious) but from that one alone, I guess it says your type is straight girls who are painfully obviously in love with someone else 😭😭 (ran/shinichi is so classic, they are so cute genuinely)

Dze_rotting_goth: I SEE KIM WEXLER, I INTERACT

OldBookInLatin: I don't know the other two, but Bree is my favourite desperate housewives character, so you seem fun

N9nthHouse: I see two bossy, morally-ruthless Type A's, & one anime character I don't recognise but assume is also of the bossy-moral-dodge-Type-A variety.

UltravioletGambit: I never thought I would see Bree Van De Kamp and Ran in the same post 😂 But I would say that it shows you have great taste 😌

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Self Acceptance by Pizzacake

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I’ve seen a lot of people say that if someone talks about their ex at all, it’s a red flag. Am I the only one who thinks it depends?

Like obviously if they’re constantly talking about them, comparing you, still texting them, or obviously not over them, that’s different. But if it’s just part of a conversation or it’s relevant, or brought up in relation to setting a specific boundary, or during a deep painful life discussion. I don’t really see the problem.

I actually think talking about past relationships can help you understand your partner better. I’d rather know what someone’s been through than have them feel like they have to pretend those parts of their life never happened. For example, I have many major traumas from my past two situationships, including SA, and emotional abuse, and if I ever have another girlfriend I’d want her to know about it. I don’t I miss my exes or want them back, or speak to them but because those experiences deeply affected me, my trust, communication, values, and how I act in my relationships. I’d want my partner to understand why I have certain boundaries, especially around sex and communication, so she doesn’t accidentally trigger me.

To me, that’s just part of being vulnerable and emotionally intimate with someone you love. I’d also want my partner to feel comfortable telling me about her past if it helped me understand her better.

I feel like as long as you’re over your ex, don’t want them back, aren’t talking to them anymore, and your current partner is comfortable with those conversations, I don’t really see why it has to be a bad thing. Am I weird for thinking this?

Here are some replies:

American-stag-: what you’re describing is understandable and fine, hell I’ve taken a deep dive into conversations about exes with my ex gfs bc I want to understand what shaped them and their traumas etc plus I’m just nosey and it didn’t bother me having extensive conversations about them it’s just if they’re still buddies with them and hangout with them , that would really bother me.

Select-Coconut-1161: totally agree. some people project their insecurities onto others imo it’s like, you’re trying to get to know someone and they’re giving you a concrete example of what worked or didn’t. no need to get defensive about it as that person literally broke up with them and now flirting with you to get to know you like??? why be insecure though like, sometimes, you can sense? them having some unresolved shit or maybe the situation itself is weird, and then it’s better to know that upfront rather than them not mentioning and you learning it weeks later

MsHyde76: I talk about mine because the abuse significantly impacted every area of my life, and I have done a lot of work to heal and live authentically. I need to make sure certain things “mesh.”

Jjxds: I wouldn’t want to be with someone if they kept their past a secret. I agree, talking about past relationships definitely helps, not only to understand the other person but yourself too. I know about my partner’s exes, one of them is their best friend (very cool person too!) I wouldn’t want to just be left in the dark. If you can’t talk or accept that your partner has been with other people before, the problem isn’t your partner and their exes.

MildlyConfusedOwl: No, you’re not weird for thinking this way. I spent eight years with my ex and it took a while for her to open up about her past and exes, but I’m glad she told me so I knew why I needed to be a bit more patient and loving with her.

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Okay, so...

I’ve known this girl for about a year now, and I have a big, idiot, doe-eyed crush on her. SO! I compiled a spreadsheet of positive, negative, and neutral items that would prove or disprove her liking me back. Unfortunately, I’m denser than a damn brick wall when it comes to my own interpersonal relationships. So, uh. Help. Please. Additional context available on request.

HERE IS THE LIST, COPIED FROM THE SPREADSHEET:

Yea

(Maybe she is?)

* is queer * Jumps at every opportunity to hang out * Has invited me to hiking * Paid for dinner * Dyed her hair the color I said I liked * Listens when I chatter * Sometimes just looks at me???? Idk on how to explain it???  * Keeps inviting me to movies

Nay

(Maybe she isn’t?)

* never expressed verbal attraction  * Awkward about the topic of dating  * Three years older  * Is planning on moving after graduation * I don’t get that vibe??? Idk I suck at reading vibes??? * I have brought up my ex-complicated-sapphic-friendship around her * I’ve never met her friend group * Said no when I offered her a jacket

Neutral

(Random things I noticed)

* Says she trusts my driving * Wore a very hot/revealing dress to movie * Was nice to my friends * She accidentally parked at the wrong meeting location, created 20 min detour, she was v embarrassed  * Says she “is happy when we spend time together.” * Wore so much perfume that I could smell it in my car the next day * Both of us have anxiety/are on the spectrum

So, more discerning/wise/extroverted minds, please weigh in. I am planning on confessing my feelings at the end of the month.

Some notable replies:

JasmineTea-42: In the spirit of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, you've changed the outcome by measuring it. Having a "Does She Like Me" spreadsheet makes me like you.

BlackNovember1992: I mean.. the fact she has anxiety might answer why there's no verbal attraction haha.. but I'm curious about why you never met her friend group yet although she already met your friend..

Suitable_Poetry_4557: I can't really offer advice but the same kinda things run through my head fairly often. Never went as far as making a physical spreadsheet though. Im pretty bad at gauging whether or not someone likes me so I default assume that they don't. Idk people are complicated and im prone to overthinking stuff

DemonicGirlcock: How old are you that a 3 year difference is a factor? But my best advice is delete the spreadsheet and ask her out to dinner. Maybe have some drinks. And do some direct talking during about if y'all are having a date or just dinner as friends.

Big_fish_309: i vote yea

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keep it sfw pls if you can 3

idk if I have any out there personality/character traits, most of the traits I find attractive are ones that most people find attractive, but one random physical trait I find attractive is tooth gaps. idk why, but tooth gaps are super cute to me

From the comments:

Few_Huckleberry2755: being monotone or like blunt. also super tall girls 😼

MildlyConfusedOwl: Glasses, dimples, freckles.

LastLivinggSoul: Glasses 🥰 Nerdy girls who will infodump about a topic they like... I could listen all day Kindness <3 This one's really random but I've noticed I kinda have a thing for girls with long or medium-long hair who wear jeans lol

Hyperfixationss: aw reading this as a tooth gap girl

Grouchy_Step_1973: I like when a girl is kinda bossy and lets my nearly 6ft tall ass follow her everywhere like a lost puppy 😋 !

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ITAP of a mourning dove in a rainbow

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okey so I'm really happy for her, they are in a long distance relationship (who's suprised) and 19-21 is their ages, they are always on call and I sometimes hear her gf's voice and she's always like giggling and my sister sometimes acts cool or something idk it's so cringe to me😭😭😭

it's like they are performing for eachother but that's probably how it is in a relationship and I'm probably just overly judgy because in my culture you aren't really open with relationships and you don't really see affection.

maybe it's because I've never been in a relationship so maybe I'd be acting like this too but I just had to get it off my chest

bless them lmao

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if you are an Audible premium member, they are hosting a huge sale this week and TONS of lesbian books are on it. I just picked up like 6 Gerri Hill and MJ Duncan books for 2 dollars each. I hate amazon, but its too good a deal to pass up. I signed up for the month to do the sale and plan on canceling my membership before the next billing cycle.

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