Actual Lesbians

Honestly, I really really try. But I constantly take the initiative. Write first. Invite. Buy the beer or dinner….

If we even get to date - I feel like there are a lot of people online just to browse, just want to be wanted, has their own life and doesn’t really want a partner…

This week only, I have been stood up by a person who was busy with work, so we scheduled accordingly. But then she didn’t want to use her free time on me (told me on two hours before, when I wrote I was looking forward). Also, just found a girl who first disclosed in the conversation that she will be moving to India for half a year in a couple of months.

Both claimed to want something serious - why are those people even there???

Can someone help this make sense or maybe even tell me how I am supposed to find someone to date?

Some notable replies:

Debaptw5: How not to go insane: don’t get attached to the outcome and pace yourself (like, turn off notifications and only go on the apps for a limited number of minutes a day). There are going to be A LOT more people who aren’t compatible with you vs the number of people who are. Lots of people are going to be duds, and they might even want something serious according to their standards (e.g. someone who can slot into their schedule, or someone who can wait for half a year for her to return) but not yours. I’d advise not to try to make sense of them and focus on yourself and being open to new connections (and also: being open to closing those new connections fast when they’re incompatible) until you find someone to date.

Eulaliarayssa: That's one of the reasons why I gave up on meeting people online. Seriously, that seems to be the problem with this decade: people are supposedly open to relationships, many even emphasize it, but in the end, most just seem to want validation for their ego.

SKalila: I gave up with online dating a while back. In retrospect, I wonder how many "women" I interacted with were actually men (catfishing). I haven't tried this yet, but meeting people in real life (via lesbian meet ups and events) is the way I'll go when the time comes. If you're in the UK, lesbian meetups are on the rise.

December_Goat_3984: Can confirm it’s hard in my corner of the world (Midwestern United States) too and I have stories similar to yours from misadventures on the dating apps. I’m not giving up on them but I am not prioritizing spending more than a few minutes a day on the apps. The advice I keep getting from my queer friends is to focus on community and making friends and dating will come from that. So that’s where I put most of my focus right now. I know it can be frustrating because I’m in the same boat!

DamnThatFeltGood: This probably isn't the most helpful advice but I stopped the insanity bu giving the apps up altogether. I met two people unexpectedly through tumblr and one at a dance at one of my city's gay bars and I'm still casually seeing two of those people. I expect to eventually find someone serious to date in a similar fashion, through irl events or social media platforms where it's easier for people to get a feel for your personality. I know flaking and lack of effort on apps is a huge thing but I actually do find it really hard to be engaged with someone who is just pictures and words on a screen and I suspect that's what other people feel too. I used to be crazy introverted too and I'm still surprised at how much easier it is to meet people in real life than on an app.

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Hi everyone- I am 54 and have known but but not known I am gay for probably 20 years (can go back to childhood for now clear signs). I am married and have adult children. I came out first to my daughter “accidentally” then to my therapist, and a few weeks later to my husband. He is fine with keeping things the way they are - we called it “married best friends.” I am wondering if anyone has chosen to stay with their heterosexual partner after coming out as a lesbian. I guess I’m in the stage of “I don’t want my life to change because that feels scary.” I don’t know. I haven’t been with a woman but know for certain that it’s what I’ve always wanted. I don’t particularly feel like I need anything different today- a new partner, sex (my husband and I don’t have sex bc of me). But I also feel stuck? Like am I supposed to be brave and leave? Why would I? I feel confused and scared and don’t know what I am supposed to do now as I slowly tell people who I really am.

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Post Work Out Lazy Attire for home

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Wanted to share the news because I don't really have a lot of people to share it with. So I (19f) recently spontaneously decided to come out to my parents when we had a conversation regarding my mental health. I was in the closet since when I was 11 and kinda scared that they won't support me (they made homophobic comments and jokes in the past). But I felt comfortable enough to tell them since we cleared a ton of misunderstandings we had. So I told them I like girls and they accepted me. I didn't think it would be that easy and now I feel like a weight has lifted from my chest. It feels calming that in a very homophobic country I have a safe space in my parents home.

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Perks of being a chef's daughter.

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People are arguing over lables and trauma olympics all over sapphic spaces since forever and it's exhausting and annoying. Please do not be prompted to argue lables here there are so many other posts for that. Just wanted to make a post that's against the bullshit a bit. Lesbians are valid. As a sapphic bisexual, y'all have all my love and respect and I will cheerfully unsubscribe a man from the census for any one of you in here regardless of what kind of sapphic/queer you are. I'd hate for even this community which is one of the few actually inclusive and wholesome communities on the internet to lose sight of the fact that we stand together and the end of the day. Shit gets weird when we start fighting each other instead of for each other. Happy pride queens and others ✨

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Here's another sapphic comic with some pretty intense sex scenes🥵🥵and a good plot(not that anyone's going to focus on that) jk

Title- Only For You

It follows a straight woman unsatisfied with her sex life who visits a womens only bar and meets the love of her life there🥰🥰. It is completed with 30 chapters and has some pretty intense sex scenes coupled with good comedy. And, it has a happy ending😁😁

You can DM me if you couldn't find it😊😊

Thanks

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Les-bee-an soap

I got a melt and pour start up at the beginning of the month and today I used my new copycat fragrance of Bleu De Chanel type to make lesbian bee pun soap that leaves you smelling like a mouthwatering fuckboi....its not perfect, but I'm quite proud of it

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where do I find porn actually for lesbians. Specifically would really love to find masc + femme. Especially femme topping masc.

Notable replies:

DemonicGirlcock: There's a few studios. Queercrush, which is owned by sapphics and staffed by sapphics, all the scenes are self-directed by the talent and they choose their partners (something like 70% 1/3 (fixed) are actually couples). My gf and several friends have worked for them! However, I'll say it seems like most of their stuff is femme/femme. Crashpad is a really good studio, and I see a ton of femme/masc content there. They've been around a while so have a large catalogue, and I think they'll have what you're looking for. I've also heard Ersties has good lesbian content made by women, but I don't actuslly know anything about them. And you could also check PornHub. They launched a Sapphic section this month that is actually geared towards lesbians. A lot of OF creators post clips to PH so it can be a good way to discover niche creators you like.

Fkndemon23: Make it yourself 🫣😉

ElectraRayne: I'm the founder of QueerCrush.com, which is the only lesbian studio created 100% by dykes! I'd love for you to check us out, and I'm happy to answer any questions you may have. Here is the blurb we include when press companies as for a description of what we do and out values: “QueerCrush.com is the only lesbian porn site created 100% by (and for) dykes. Our mission is to celebrate the diversity of the Sapphic community, and to showcase the how dykes actually like to fuck. We are nonbinary and trans-inclusive and shoot performers of all races, body sizes, ages over 18 (ie no maximum age), and styles/aesthetics. Our performers choose their own partners, wardrobe/styling, and everything they do in their scenes, and we leave in things like check-ins, bloopers, and lube usage. Our scenes feature real queer sex, and are always captioned for accessibility.”

Mister_sleepy: I really love GirlsOutWest. There is a whole lot of masc + femme content as well as nontraditional bodies. To me, It really does seem like it’s just a bunch of Aussie girls who are friends and like having sex with each other. Most of the regular models are also the ones directing, filming and editing the videos. I think they do sell a lot of videos to men, but I don’t ever feel like they’re catering to the male gaze. 697 can tell they just kinda make what they want to make, and go for things that turn them on. Those things happen to be super hot, and have built a bit of a following over the years. Sometimes the post-shoot interviews are my favorite thing, because you get to see how the models really are having a great time with each other. It’s very organically sapphic.

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So my gf is questioning my sexuality bc I’ve mentioned a few times that I would like her to strap me. She literally has a strap but hasn’t used it yet. She’s even told me how she wants to give me strap but when I mention it, suddenly I’m straight. I’m just a little bit confused and a little annoyed honestly

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happy pride month!

from me and wife to yours, wishing you all a glorious and blissful pride month!

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Day 3 of Dr appointments

Today wasn’t too bad but tomorrow is the very long one and then Sunday is not a Dr appointment but a piecing appointment so it will be a lot mor fun🤭

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I feel like this applies here as well

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Happy two years with my gorgeous girl

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Hello everyone! I f(19) was wondering how you would feel if you had a partner that doesn't like strap at all. Would this be a deal breaker for you? I realized I'm not comfortable at all with penetration. I think this is a boundary for me and I'm worried about if I get into my first relationship, and she finds out and is disappointed. I've seen many lesbians love strap and it seems to be a popular form of intimacy between lesbians hence why I'm asking. Would it be grounds to end a relationship with someone or just slight dissappointment? I hope this all makes sense , I couldn't think of the right way to word this

*Please be kind I'm a baby gay and still learning everyday.

From the comments:

Sweaty-Quantity35: A good partner will respect the boundaries, some people just aren’t comparable and that’s okay.

Frizzcore420: Strap use isn’t even a deal breaker for most women. In my experience, maybe a 1/3 of my partners and sapphic friends used a strap at all. Then an even smaller group from that is using it regularly. I haven’t met anyone, while I’m sure they are out there, where strap use is a necessity. A lot of women don’t even want fingers to penetrate them. Or to be touched at all. It’s fine. Respect people’s boundaries and avoid anyone who can’t respect yours. And honestly move on from people you’re not sexually compatible with.

Dizzyupthegirl13: Not at all! Many people don’t enjoy them! I thought I would, bought one - tried it and do not like it It’s normal to explore and change your thoughts on things too so just go with the flow and see what sounds good and don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with

Anonymous9845: Hey! I’m not comfortable with penetration at all either. This hasn’t been a problem, and I have a very healthy and lovely sexual relationship with my partner. Don’t worry about it, the majority of people are okay with that I’d say. The beauty of lesbian sex is there’s so many ways to do it.

Lesbian_Drummer: A lot of women do, a lot don’t. There are a LOT of lesbians (and women generally, but straight women who are with cis partners have a much harder time with it) who don’t like penetration at all. A good partner will honor this boundary, or will let you know this is a dealbreaker and respectfully move on their merry way. That said, if you have someone who looooves wearing the strap, but you don’t want it inside you, you can still use hands and mouth to pleasure them using it. Get a bumper and use the toy against their clit. Use a vibe against it as you do. You can get creative and still use these toys intimately but not inside of your vagina. edit: they can also thrust with it into your hand or mouth, or between your thighs. they could even thrust against/along your clit. there are ways, hot ways, as long as y’all communicate and listen to each other.

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I feel like I’m a minority in the lesbian community. All the jokes and relating stories are about uhauling. People I’ve tried dating are the same and want to commit after a few dates. I feel like I need to build a connection first??? Granted I’m maybe on the aro spectrum (Demi or greyro, in that I rarely find people I’m romantically attracted to or it takes time for me to be attracted to them) but even when I didn’t identify as that and was having more frequent romantic attraction, every time I did any uhaul situation it was a horribly codependent relationship which erased who I was as a person in favor of the other. Like neverrrr again!!! Why is this so normalized??? I’m happy for y’all but I really feel like it’s not a healthy practice to move in with someone after only a month or two of dating 😭😭😭 at least not for myself ig

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Y'all are sleeping on Chinese yuri comics

I honestly don't see Chinese wlw content being recommended enough, there's just so much variety in the stories, like there are historical fantasies, mysteries, sci-fi, rom-coms, etc and the art is always SO GOOD.

Like I get that some people might be bothered by the censorship, BUT!!! Some of these works are uncensored in their official English translations, and for those that haven't gotten picked up yet, some artists get reallyyyyy creative with the composition and it doesn't feel censored at all.

1: Keep an Eye on You (completed; 60 chapters)

2: The Wayward Tenant and Her Pretty Landlady (ongoing; 4 chapters, updated irregularly)

3: Have no Fear, Shijie's Here! (ongoing; 8 chapters, regular updates)

4: Clandestine Affair (completed; 20 chapters)

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