Actual Lesbians

Loving life 💚

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Texts you receive from your gf in public

We went out with friends last night, we were all dressed up for the occasion and at the bar she ended up sitting opposite of me. I couldn't stop looking at her. She sent me this a while after.

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Thought this is hilarious

I came across this post on lesbian book club and thought it’s hilarious

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The grass always looks greener on the other side 🤓

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I am a lesbian, dating a bi woman. She talks sometimes about her crushes about male celebs with her friends in front of me. Her friends are queer men, nb and women but I am the only lesbian. They all only talk about men and who is hot or this type of guy is hot and idk... it's not like she should be always objectifying women but damn, can't you say something about women sometimes? Like "wow SHE'S so hot!", "Look at the tits on her!". I don't think she avoids talking about women to me, I truly believe she just doesnt think about women. We are all in our 30s. I am her first woman she's ever dated. I do think she is attracted to women but idk..

Here are some replies:

Milkybev: It’s entirely possible that she doesn’t want to make you feel bad by talking about how hot other women are in front of you, so she avoids mentioning it; or if her friend group is primarily attracted to men, that’s simply what comes up in conversation for them. A thousand things could be going on. Talk to her about it. Be mindful that for bi women, constantly having to reassure their partner of their attraction to their partner’s gender alongside another can feel hurtful, but if you’re feeling insecure about how she is performing (or not performing) her attraction to women, and therefore you, then it’s worth a conversation. Approach with curiosity, not accusation. I hope things work out for you both!

Pataconconqueso: i’m married to a bi woman as a lesbian who has never ever been with men. It took maturing in my 20s to be at the point where I’m so secure in my relationship and myself that I even point out male celebs that are her type and love that she feels safe to be herself around me. I’m the only woman she has ever dated and she married me and we have been together for almost 10 years. I don’t have it in me to care if she has a preference for men or not because in the end she has chosen to go through the ups and downs of life with me for the past decade. my wife does have a preference for men, she was in the comphet stage where all she internalized was how everyone around us have put attraction to men forward, but in the end she has always shown her devotion to me, that is all that matters to me. it’s a waste of my energy to care about that stuff because I would miss how much she loves and cares for me. it took my wife a long time to give herself permission to show her attraction to women because of comphet and how it is challenging for bi women to separate from that because they are still attracted to men so the “I’m actually allowed to feel this way as well?” gets processed so much later.

AchingAmy: That's understandable why it does bother you. I might wonder if she's bi with a preference for men because there should be some thoughts about women like that. And like if she doesn't ever think about women, it makes you wonder how she's feeling towards you

AlwaysBeQuestioning: Perhaps she doesn’t talk about how hot other women are because she has you? I know some people who don’t talk about finding anyone hot outside of their partner, and I can imagine that a bisexual person wouldn’t talk about “the tits on her” when she can pay attention to yours or her own, so she focuses that more on the men—especially around friends who are also (mainly? Only?) attracted to men. It sounds like this bothers you because you either want to have someone to talk to about women you find hot, and/or her not talking about women she finds how makes you feel insecure about whether she finds you hot. Do either of those options sound about right to you?

Yugonosha: It bothers you because you're othered and alone in this Life is better when I'm around and dating other lesbians for me, idk if it would for you too

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The Oleander Sword had my smartwatch thinking im exercising while at work.

The way Tasha Suri described the moving scene, paragraph by paragraph, their bodies shifting. Malini's self control going OUT THE WINDOW. Every time with Priya, the whole book, she thinks "not now, not yet"

And then Priya "Try to break me. TRY."

Malini just SNAPS dude. The consent, pulling Priya's hair and exposing her throat while Priya is still so tender. ....

I had to take a lap at work, trying to keep the calmest most normal look on my face and I was FAILING. My watch chimed in saying "oh workout detected." My heart was racing.

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I'm not really sure why all of my coworkers have started doing this but it just keeps happening. They keep coming to me and telling me about homophobic/ transphobic comments they or other people have made. And I just don't really understand it.

I had someone today I thought was a friend just randomly say, "I would kill myself if I was gay". I asked him why he would say something like that and he said "To assure my parents, I told them they could shoot me in the head if I ever came out".

Granted, he's from a very different culture. But that's a fucked up thing to say and I have no idea why he decided to tell me about it.

I wish people would stop coming to me with this stuff, I really don't want to hear it.

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Moment of realization 🏳️‍🌈🫠

The signs were always there

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So my girl (33) and I (28) hadn’t had sex for a little cause a few things, we’ve both been kinda down lately cause finances and stressors, we’re on opposite schedules, she had been away for a week but overall we’re good and happy. The other day after a little fight/disagreement she was out drinking with her friend (33f/straight) and once they got home her friend was talking about how she wanted some dick and outta nowhere my girl was like “we’re fucking tonight too” and I was hyyypeee. Fast forward to us in the middle of things and she said “I wanna hit you” I was like stunned and thought maybe I heard her wrong so we kept going and we both finished then I said “hold up, did you say you wanted to hit me?” She said “yeah” and I was like “oh shit okay, I think that’d be a little too loud right now” (her friend was sleeping in the other room so we had to be quiet) and we both laughed she said “yeah true” and then we went back into it for round two. NO SHE IS NOT ABUSIVE, HAS NEVER LAID A HAND ON ME (except like lil ass smacks here and there and we both like to be choked).

I’m a freak, don’t get me wrong. I asked her to spit in my mouth before lol, and I guess I’m down for a little smack? I’ve only been hit once during and I didn’t like it but it’s cause it was so hard it made my vision go blurry for a second lol so I got up and left, but I don’t think she’d do it that hard. We’ve talked about any kinks we have/wanna try before (and have tried some) but this has never came up. Like I said I was shocked in the moment but I was like ehh we’ll talk about it later and maybe try it out. The next day I was with my best friend (26f/“bi adjacent but mostly straight”) and I told her about it and she lowkey freaked out. She said she actually likes getting smacked in bed but had asked her exs and some of them refused to do it so she couldn’t imagine someone asking to hit her cause she always was the one to initiate it - in her words “if I’ve asked MEN to do it and they said no I can’t imagine having a girl ask me, red flag”. I’m obviously gonna talk to my girl about it when she gets back from her work trip, but I just wanted to see y’all’s opinions on like do you think this is a just a new found thing she wants to try? Should I be concerned? Is my friend just making me overthink this?

What people had to say on Reddit:

Artistic-Eggplant-79: She shouldn't have asked about that in the moment. She should apologize for not asking before or not waiting to ask you later

NiceMedicine1730: To me that sounds like a bad context to ask in. You should definitely be sober and not already aroused/having sex and discuss what she even means by hitting you. Then maybe give it some time to reflect, or try it in a non sexual setting, and see how comfortable you are. You definitely don't have to do it even if she wants to. But to me the kink itself doesn't seem to be the problem, rather how it was communicated. A passionate situation like that can go wrong very fast without proper consent and mutual understanding of what's expected.

DegeneratedCase: This seems completely fine? I literally don't understand the issue here... She said she wanted to try something, you didn't say yes so she didn't do it... where's the issue? 🤷‍♀️

Venntriloquist: (probs go to r/BDSMsapphic 👀)

Dirtydanley: Definitely have a conversation about it OUTSIDE of the bedroom. Not during. But if you both are into it, do it! There are a lot of really vanilla people in this sub that will judge so I’d go to r/BDSMsapphic but my gf and I are kinky and she has permission to slap my face during sex and we love it.

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Um so I was talking to my friend, who's straight, and she said, "I wish I could have like, a husband, but he's a woman, you know? Like pretty and sweet and sexy, but not a guy, but like still married to me."

I said, "Isn't that just gay marriage?" And she replied, "No it's different like, I don't want a gay marriage, I want a regular marriage except my husband is a woman. But like still a husband, not a wife, but not a man, a woman. I want to be the wife."

How do I tell her? Lmao

From the comments:

NemesisAron: She sounds not straight but with internalized homophobia

Jacked_chocopie: internalized homophobia T_T

Transbianpomegranate: She knows that women are not all the same and that she can still feel feminine if her partner was (oh shock!) a masc?

BlueRubyWindow: “There’s lots of queer women who would love to be your husband yknow…”

Cardiganlamp: She probably doesn't want the power dynamics and patriarchy issues that come with being married to a man. Like the additional 7 hours per week of chores that women get burdened with when they marry a man.

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I basically never post on Reddit, but I wanted to do so about this book because I haven’t seen anyone post about it yet and I was shocked by how good it was. It’s marketed as a sci-fi dating show x murder mystery, but I think that’s selling it short. I expected it to be a lighter read because of the Bachelor/Love Island theme, but it actually had intricate world building, a complex, unpredictable, and interesting plot, and a believable (and sexy!) slow burn enemies to lovers romance. It’s the first of a series of three books, and I am very excited to see what comes next.

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😼

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Just saw a tik tok of a woman asking why women don’t just date men if they’re attracted to masculine women, basically implying it’s the same. The entire comment section and lack of empathy/common sense made me so mad I had to re-evaluate. Lately there’s just been so much hate towards mascs and more masculine presenting women, it hurts me more when it’s other women adding to it.

I don’t understand why our identities that rely exclusively on men being out of the picture, somehow always get tied back to men? The more I think about it the more I get sad. I love the femmes that stick up for us but sometimes it doesn’t feel like there’s too many of them. And I hardly ever see a masc lesbian out in the wild. Typically I’m like the only one.

So let’s all talk, how do you guys feel? How’s it weighing on you if at all? All lesbians feel free to pitch in, doesn’t have to just be mascs. Would love to know everyone’s perspectives on this.

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When I was in high school I had a codependent homoerotic friendship—as one does— it started at 15 and lasted till I was 20. We were beyond close, we’d cuddle, had matching tattoos, never went anywhere without each other, etc. but she had a boyfriend, which led to extreme jealousy on my end. And I was too afraid to tell her house I felt. We had a big drunk fight one night (2022), I moved out, and we never spoke again.

Last night I had the random urge to insta stalk her (haven’t looked at her account since we last spoke) my jaw literally dropped at what I saw. she is openly out, had pictures of her and her fiancé ( a woman) and has “L🏳️‍🌈” in her bio.

She was my friend before being my crush, so I’m proud of her for being out..but I genuinely thought that I over projected that she was into girls because I wanted her to want me.

She was the only girl I ever loved, but I’m not delusional enough to think that her being gay means she was in love with me too. But knowing I even possibly had a chance and didn’t take it just makes me feel like an idiot. Who knows what could have happened.

Moral of the story: shoot your shot. I rather miss and know I missed, then wonder forever if I would have made it.

Also don’t get drunk around someone you’re secretly crushing on, you either end up confessing or crying about how no one loves you. In the moment I chose the latter.

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Has anyone used the Banana Split? Thoughts?

My gf and I are long distance. It’s been about 3 weeks since we’ve seen each other and it’s the longest we’ve gone in a WHILE. So, naturally, I blacked out (from yearning, not alcohol) and bought the Banana Split toy since they were doing some sort of sale.

I’ve eyed it for a while due to the curvature of the wearer’s side, and the reviews seem good! However, my gf and I have both used a strapless strap-on in the past w previous partners & it’s fallen out quite easily. I do think this one will be different (like I said) because of the curve that the light blue part has but I wanted to see if any one on here has any success / experience stories w this!

Regardless it comes in on Saturday and she arrives Wednesday. I’m sooooo excited!

TLDR: Has anyone used this? Any thoughts?

What people had to say on Reddit:

Chains_And_Lilith: Wearables generally require good kegel strength if you want to avoid fucking like a scared newborn deer walking on ice. They're great if you can learn how to become one with them.

Amandzor: We have one. We found it difficult to use. But great for ‘hand jobs’- one wears the short end the other jacks the long one. But it’s tough to wear for penetration. Especially as you get more aroused lol.

Dramatic_Dinner_3132: Work great with a harness girls!

Rosesurosie: Well if you're a member of the wetter than a waterfall club it's going to be sliding out every millisecond sooo either you clench it in hard or keep using your hands/fingers to hold it in place!! But yup these kinda toys are damn good if one has past experiences with using them for stimulation :)

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so i ended up impulsively deleting my original post because she did get me a present, just a little late and didn’t tell about it. it was very thoughtful and sweet, made me feel pretty guilty for posting.

(having the urge to post about it is probably an indicator our communication hasn’t been working too well for me these past few months)

we also had a very honest conversation about what we want from this relationship, i think our expectations are pretty much aligned and (most) cards are on the table, so that’s definitely cleared up some worries for now

thanks to everyone on here who took their time to write thoughtful comments and tried to help. i definitely learned a thing or two about dating and reddit advice lol

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Still More Lesbian Doing Things In Bed

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