Actual Lesbians

who are your favorite women from anime? I feel like I usually dislike or are kinda meh with most women in anime, cause they're so often flat and/or heavily sexualized (aka written by a man). in general, I struggle with most fictional women. it seems like I'm only ever attracted to fictional men and real women, and pretty much no real men lmao

But I wanna crush on the women in my fiction too! help!

Some notable replies:

Fyra2309: Our Mc from So I'm a Spider so What? Elaina from Wandering Witch, also Maomao from Apothecary Diaries, they are at the top of my head...

Soft_Device737: I really love Isabella from paradise kiss and the women from Nana, the catgirl from chainsmoker cat is also good, and so is maomao from apothecary diaries although that’s just from the top of my head. Revolutionary girl Utena is also good, and nobara and maki from jjk

Sixchambr: Haruhi from Ouran Highschool Host Club will always be number one in my masc-loving heart

Very_Confused_Momo: Maki Zenin, JJK. Just know that most of her nsfw images suck.

RevolutionaryWait978: What about sevika from arcane. or Ambessa or vi or jinx or caitlyn come on.

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Deleting the entire original post and rewriting it because a lot of people missed the point.

My gf and I were packing for a trip and she said “I don’t think I need to pack any underwear because it’s just two nights.” She’s showering before we leave and after we get back from the trip.

Do yall usually change your underwear daily, or just when you shower, if you shower less than daily?

I’m sensitive to BV and yeast infections, she’s never had either, I go through two pairs of undies a day. Hence why I was shocked to find out she would go a full trip with one pair.

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I feel comfortable here so I’ll post this here

I feel so scared and it’s very complicated to express how I feel right now, it’s been few months since my sister (in her 30s) took my phone and I have a hidden section on my phone (it’s locked) it’s a photo album and it has very inappropriate photos of me.

Photos of everything in my body literally every detail and photos I took over the years! I feel so sick.

I’m 19 and I’ve been doing that for years, I was taking those photos for myself only. I wasn’t showing them or sending them to anyone. NEVER! I just love doing that, it’s something sacred between me and myself.

She knows very well my body is off- limits. she knows I don’t want anyone to see my body Anyway I told her it’s a private section I told her to leave and I tried to snatch the phone from her but she didn’t let me. Anyway she spent hours going through them and idk.. she told my mom and she said things like “ I feel disgusted why do you do that” I don’t think I can trust her anymore EVER! It’s been months..

I don’t blame myself, I couldn’t just prevent her or do something cause if I did, she’ll do something that would harm me (not physically)

But it’s hard to me because she went through something I NEVER SHOWED to anyone She broke my shield and privacy, it’s irreversible and unacceptable!

And finally, my phon and photo album have passwords, But I couldn’t protect them or prevent my sister.

It really feels like getting sexually violated (it is) And I feel disgusted like I’m your sister what the hell are you doing.

Some replies worth sharing:

Mushroommeowz: weird as fuck for a SIBLING to spend hours looking at your private revealing photos. most siblings would realize what it was and stop immediately because they would be uncomfortable, and certainly wouldn’t bring it up to parents. this is not normal or okay.

Cel_themulti: What the .. fuck

Im-ba: I would cut her out of my life forever

ProJaywalkerBird: That. Feels like sexual harassment tbh. Like there is no situation where someone forcefully taking your phone to watch your nudes xithout consent isnt sexual harassment and its WILDLY not better bc "its family" that actually makes it worse like???

MissMcgillacudy: I’m so sorry. There’s nothing wrong with what photos you keep of yourself. But I’d suggest finding a better hiding spot than right where everyone looks because it’s password protected.

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Like the ones who never orgasm with their mans and talk about PIV...like girl...we have the best sex, sex is the least of my concerns rn but its just funny when they do try and u just gotta stare at them. If ur gonna be homophobic then dont admit ur sex life is shit to me by accident lol.

A few replies that stood out:

MothashipQ: I've had straight women randomly make out with their husbands in front of me at work. I seem to ruin the mood by ignoring them and proceeding to do my job. Not 100% sure what thats about, but these aren't people I talk about being gay with. I just assume insecure behavior ngl

Kanineanimus: Haha no. Most of the people I know are jealous. I tell them, “you could try anything once”, and they tell me, “I didn’t choose to be straight.”

SnooRabbits981: Yes, i met one of my wife’s work friends at an event that I was dding her back from and the annoying level of detail she went into about her and her husband was also laughable. Like ooooh wow Shannon, you mean he even took you to dinner before hand? And went down on you for three minutes? How ever shall I survive without a man in my life. /s But the most fun one was I have a bisexual dude friend that tried to describe how kinky and good his sex with this new partner to me and my wife over dinner recently. 💀 and was super deflated when he caught the smirk she and I shared.

Tracesoflavender: Also just plain disrespectful of lesbian identity since there’s an undertone of implication that you just haven’t had good enough sex (straight piv in their opinion) and you are missing out on something. Frames being lesbian as a choice rather than an innate sexuality.

Im-ba: No never, you need better women in your life if that's what they're doing with their time

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My pitbull rescue chewed up my copy of Sappho

Is he lesbophobic? Or do I win a lesbian medal?

Pics for reference. And adorable.

Some replies that stood out:

ADogeatingHotDog: Your dog has good taste in poetry

RevolutionOld6197: Sorry but your dog is homophobic :(

Tit-theif: Beautiful dog with homophobia

Just_Procedure_5881: Hi, this is his lawyer. He didn't do it because if he did then why are his pants not on fire

Secure_Sun8984: Lesbian Medal for sure. Maybe he’s trying to tell you something 💅 Or maybe he’s just trying to thoroughly digest the information 🤭 (before engaging with the community to gauge nuance ofcourse)

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Greetings! My wife (33f) and I (34f) are getting divorced after 16 years together. I don't want to bore everyone with the drama, but to make a very long story short: it took me a long long time to realize my wife is a covert narcissist. Sadly, I didn't see until after I let her chase nearly every friend away. The one friend I still have (whom she hates and makes that no secret) lives over 4 hours away.

So I would love to be able to chit chat with new people and make new friends! Life is super turbulent at the moment, and I could really use some positive influences. I'm nerdy-adjacent, I like to crochet, and take my kids hikes.

If you are open to making a new friend, albeit in a bit of a rough spot, please feel free to reach out to me!

Some replies that stood out:

No666420: My wife and I are also getting divorced after 15 years together (we’re 29). Very different reasons for our divorce, but can definitely relate to feeling isolated. I just moved back to my home town (literally today) to try to reconnect with old friends and family and try to kind of start putting down new roots for myself. It’s very hard

Hitokage97: Been in similar situation tho not in a marriage proper, but someone I dated leaving and taking friends with them while trying to do a smear campaign and put me down. Sorry you going through it, if you want to talk we can talk in dm <3

Bluebloop1115: Hey. I (33f) went through my divorce from my ex wife (38f) who is a covert narcissist last year (2024-2025). I know how it feels. Also there is a great Facebook group that provides awesome support called Gay/Lesbian Divorce and Separation. Feel free to message me.

RetroMidnightSushi: i’m not getting a divorce but i am in the process of going no contact with my brother and eventually my whole family and my brother is a narcissist 🙃 i’m looking for more queer friends cuz after i drop this family, i won’t have a family anymore

Keroppi_Troublemaker: Look for people with similar hobbies and join local groups.

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Camo :D

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the best part about being lesbian

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This is your sign

If you are marrying/ married a man and you have hives on your back on your wedding day, your body is trying to tell you something! Your body KNOWS!

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Okay, I’m sorry, my lovely humans… this is a little bit of a vent. 😂💕

Can we talk about how unbelievably, hilariously, ridiculously difficult it is to find someone who genuinely wants friendship, companionship, and maybe some beautiful, cozy cuddles… without everyone immediately assuming that “cuddles” is secretly code for something else?

Because no. 😂 Truly. No.

When I say I would love to find a wonderful friend who enjoys cuddling, I mean exactly that. Someone I can laugh with until my cheeks hurt, talk with about absolutely everything and nothing, share a blanket and snacks with, watch movies with, and enjoy that simple, magical comfort of another person’s presence.

Apparently, though, this is where the confusion begins:

“Cuddles? Ohhh, so you mean sex.” Me: “No, darling. I mean cuddles.” Them: “No, but seriously?” Me: “Yes… seriously.” 🤣

I swear I’m searching for a mythical creature at this point. Maybe a rare Pokémon. A shiny one. With perfect stats. 😂✨

I’m not looking for a hookup. I’m not looking to speed-run into a relationship. I’m not looking for someone to become my entire world after three conversations and a shared dessert.

I’m looking for a genuine friendship where affection, warmth, and closeness are allowed to exist without immediately needing to become romantic or sexual.

Could it someday grow into something more? Absolutely. If two people spend a year or two building something beautiful, communicating openly and honestly, and feelings naturally bloom into something deeper, that would be a lovely thing.

But I’m not walking into a friendship secretly holding a relationship application and waiting for the right moment to submit it. 😂 The friendship itself is the treasure I’m searching for.

I want someone who says, “I enjoy your company. Let’s laugh together, share stories, watch movies under a blanket, give each other comforting hugs, and just appreciate having another kind soul in our lives.”

Apparently my chances of finding this are somewhere between winning the lottery and successfully explaining to a cat that the vet is actually their friend. 😂🐈

Anyway… thank you for attending my tiny dramatic lesbian cuddle crisis TED Talk. 🫂💕

Some replies that stood out:

Whole_Plant_1049: I can't speak for everyone, but I feel like cuddling is not something you do as friends for most people, especially new friendships.

Necessary_Top_1330: I think it’s because a lot of people are looking for a relationship first. That can make it difficult to find someone who’s genuinely content with friendship, especially when physical affection is involved. But also, OP, I feel like wanting cuddles in a platonic friendship can send mixed signals. I’m not saying it’s wrong, but if one of my lesbian friends asked me to cuddle in bed or under a blanket, my first assumption would probably be that she’s interested in me romantically or sexually. For me, that’s usually something I associate with dating unless we’ve already had a conversation and clearly established that we’re just friends. Once those boundaries are clear, I have no problem with affectionate friendships.

GlowingEmberSkull: Everyone is in such a rush to find their sexy someone. When some of us just want... a someone. Who might eventually achieve sexy-time status. I'm demi, so really can't feel sexy toward someone until I already really like their mind and emotional vibe. Need to hang out, feel safe, achieve intimacy without that kind of touching long before I feel safe or even responsive to sexy stuff. All I want in life is someone to cuddle and laugh with, too. Can't really consider anything else until that level is achieved. Wanna be friends?

Sending-stars: Welp. Here I thought I found someone who understands. But the comments here are pretty divisive. So, maybe it's just a being weird thing then. Regardless. I've missed out on so much in life. I'm in my mid 30's and pining for that kind of friendship with someone. I wanna get together, snuggle up on a couch and watch a movie or play some videogames. Maybe paint some nails, do some makeup, and talk about the downfall of civilization, or that new drink I tried the other day. I dunno. I just want that one friend I can get some touch and connection from, without the expectation of genitals. 🤷‍♀️

Over-Method-1216: Im actively seeking friendship before dating, even though I would love to be in a relationship. I like going slow and getting to know the person. That said, a lot of what you're looking for in a friendship, I would consider dating/relationship expectations. So, not to be rude, but I avoid people like this for good reason. I'm not giving you relationship/dating levels of attention and care when we're just friends 💯 I love my bestie to pieces and we dont even do most of what you've mentioned.

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OK, so my wife & I are invited to a niece’s wedding; just got a text with “cocktail attire” requested. Had to look up cocktail attire; no way are we wearing dresses of various lengths!

Searched for ‘dyke wedding attire’ & ‘non-binary wedding attire’. Seems to be mostly high priced, ill-fitting male-fashioned suits from bespoke custom clothiers.

I’m at a loss! For reference, we’re 70-something lesbians.

Some replies worth sharing:

Prior_Respect5861: A nice linen suit would be grand.

Sefuf: You simply cannot fail with a good blazer and trouser combo. They don't need to match but they should coordinate.

GlowingEmberSkull: Okay, so cocktail dresses tend to be fun, eye-catching, and about knee-length. Ideally in the wedding color spectrum, but avoid red, white, and black as a general fashion safety rule for dresses at a wedding. For masculine styles, cocktail is on the casual side of formal. Nicely fitted trousers, straight leg usually, but a subtle flare for stylish masc-lesbian style would also be fine. Solid color or pinstripe, either traditional dark or linen-white. If you want an unusual color, having a jacket and tie to match pulls it together. Dress shirt, with or without a blazer, and a tie that matches the wedding colors are all good additions. A nice women's pant suit would also do well if you already have them.

0x424d42: > 70-something lesbians That’s a whole lotta lesbians!

Next_Preparation_553: For a butch wedding look well fitting tailored pants with a tailored shirt and a tie. A suit jacked is acceptable although with modern day looks a lot of people don’t have the same definition of cocktail attire, plus depending on budgets I lean towards skipping it entirely. I went to men’s warehouse for my shirts because the tailors there can alter the shirts easily enough-I prefer a basic black on black look personally so black shirt black pants black tie. For me they need to add a bit of fabric at my hips cut the shirt so it’s not as long and hem the sleeves, it only took a couple days to do it. I appreciated that they fit me and nobody there batted an eye at the fact that a dyke was buying a suit. No recommendations on pants because mine have to be custom tailored around an AFO brace that I wear which means pants for me are all about the texture of the pants that it’s thin enough and flexible enough to shove inside the brace, another reason why custom is the only way i can wear a lot of pants😬 as for ties I picked that up from amazon along with cuff links, a tie pin and some collar tips because I’m a little extra like that lol you could do a suit jacket and skip the tie and instead go for a really nice collar bar pin with double chains I’ve always been a big fan of those. For non binary low rise slim cut trousers that leave the ankle exposed with shiny leather loafers and no show socks. A good leather belt in an opposite color and a patterned button down shirt usually tailored to look a little more boxy for less of a defined male vs female tailoring. Same deal with tie or even an ascot if they prefer. Non binary relies heavily on tailoring usually for a less defined body shape: men’s cuts are tapered shirts wider shoulders women’s are more body hugging with darts or princess tailoring for a more figure defining look. Going for simple darts to create room for breasts if necessary and to pull the shirt together so it’s not huge but simply flows well with a relatively “rectangle” fit is usually clutch for a nice dressy cocktail Attire without doing anything that would bring unwanted attention (like a skirt and dress shirt combo or something else that could raise eyebrows if this is a setting with people who might not be accepting)

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I feel like everyone's healed while I'm still untangling. How has any of you healed? Like let's be honest (LITERALLY 😅). But I feel like theres this sense of.. misfortune and a lack of resources and support for those battling not only heternormativity, but internalized homophobia. I feel like since coming out, I haven't found any true affirming place without feeling I had to give up myself to fit in.

A few replies that stood out:

Sweetfemme3: For me it doesn't necessarily disappear altogether, it pops up but very infrequently now. I think internal homophobia for me was in place to protect me from homophobia in the outside world. Like if I said things to myself it would hurt less compared to if someone else said something to me. I remember being fed up with all the pride flags plastered around the town during pride season. Thinking we shouldn't be waving it around so much, or that people should keep their personal lives to themselves. Truth was I only thought these things because I thought I was more protected/accepted the quieter I was. Internal homophobia can help cope with potential social rejection before it happens. The hard part is that it makes me feel more guarded and not myself in social settings. I had to understand what was happening and develop a relationship with the parts of me that did not always feel safe to be myself.

Bitchin_Confidential: I feel it every once in a while. Most acutely and often in mundane social interactions. I bought a car a recently from a guy who my parents know. Even over a few hours, I didn’t feel comfortable telling him that I’m a lesbian and therefore won’t be marrying some guy “one day soon” like his daughter. I love being a lesbian but it feels awkward to mention if I don’t have a girlfriend/fiancée to correct the record for — I’d simply be volunteering hi hello lesbian here! And then brace for whatever response, normal or fucked, the other person might have. Those kinds of interactions. I feel bad about it, like I’m getting away with straight feminine woman privilege that I wouldn’t get with shorter hair or with my girlfriend with me. At the same time, I’ve been girly since I was a small child and gay since forever, so it is what it is — I just wanna get better at dealing with it, whether inwardly or outwardly.

Effie06: I think it's what we instilled in us what’s “expected”.

Sweet_Cinnamon_Bun: You're definitely not the only one! I am dating my second girlfriend and it still feels like I am doing something wrong from time to time, or I am afraid to show affection in case I am "pervy". I still find it hard to flirt and I am not sure if that's the internalised homophobia or my neurodivergence. Maybe both?

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Don't get me wrong,she is a very good therapist, has helped me loads with accepting my sexuality, coming out and dating. These past months I've been wanting to introduce my gf to my family, I already told them now I just have to do it, but I am resisting a lot. I told her I was jealous of straight people because it is easier for them in that situation, when I was in high school I introduced the guys I was dating to my family and it was no big deal at all. She told me it can be just as hard for straight people and that the only challenge in this situation is my own mind. What do you think? She might be on to something, and I might need a reality check. She is straight btw

EDIT: it is my first time introducing a girl to my family

Some replies that stood out:

HeirofSeaandFire: That's entirely bullshit. Even if you know your family isn't homophobic, a lot of society is so there's this external narrative telling you it could go badly. Plus, it could go badly - you never actually know until you do it. For straight people it's just a worry about if they like your partner. The first time you introduce a same-gender-presentation partner, there's also the fear that your family will hate seeing the evidence of who you are.

Paramoriaa: I think it's stressful for anyone to introduce their partner to the parents, but for us, it can be way harder depending on the parents and how they feel about our sexuality. So she's not wrong, but she's also not right

SurferGirlDeb: That is a load of shit. As somebody who grew up with homophobic parents that abandoned me when I came out no straight person needs to worry about their family turning on them because of their sexuality. Sorry if my answer is blunt but she couldn't be more out of touch with what it is like for us and her ignorance angers me.

Devoiselle: It really depends on your family and the dynamic. I haven't had any problem introducing people to my family because they're pretty chill, we're Canadian so they care more about hockey than someone's sexuality. My mom actually told me after I started dating that she just wants me to be in a happy and healthy relationship. But I've met some girls' family who made it into a big deal that their "little girl" was dating me.

Nerdyandrisque: nah, homophobia (and cisheteronormativity) make things exceptionally more difficult 😥. i just feel like if she's responding to your genuine wish to talk to your parents with no caution whatsoever, things could explode in your (and her) face.

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I'm masculine. I have something for all women across the spectrum: masculine, soft masculine, butch, stud... You get the idea. I'm fed up with reactions like,

“Why don’t you date a man?”

“Who’s the man?”

“Are you trans then?”

Just yesterday someone said to me,

"Ew, I don't understand masculin lesbians dating masculin women, it's so ugly."

Like it's just a matter of aesthetics.

I hate being treated like a man. I'm less attracted to fems, that doesn't mean I'm not a lesbian. It doesn't mean that I'm straight either. Every lesbian knows, it's already not easy to be lgbt, but if on top of that people in your own community reject you...

I'm masculine, not a man. If my non-existent girlfriend is masculine, she's not a man. We're neither a male couple nor a heterosexual couple. So screw the stereotypes and long live carabiner!

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One of my favourite wlw ships that ended way too soon.

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If I suddenly stop posting here… you know what finally got me. 💀

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what do y'all listen to. who are some artists that would disqualify me from being a Lesbian™ if I didn't know them. I know girl in red chapelle hayley fletcher dodie some others, i've been picking songs i like from giant wlw playlists on spotify. i want some new songs \^\^

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