Actual Lesbians

These words were a gift to me.

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I’m currently single, but when I was with my ex, sex always lasted about two hours. This might be normal, but how do lesbians have a quickie or sex that better fits their schedule?

Some replies that stood out:

Pagetwenty8: A quicky to my wife and I is still clothed but putting our hands down each other's pants and making each other cum

YuliyaVolkova: Quickies happen when you're horny and gotta be out the door in 15 min. Or overall, when you have access to "easy" orgasm that doesn't require foreplay or any effort at all (e.g. putting a vibrator between you 2). You both cum, pack up, and rush out.

Alwaysonmyspine: Just some grinding to orgasm while making out usually is what I’d consider a quickie Or if I’m not in the mood to be ate out and I just go down on them until they cum, usually 20 min-half hour tops

Meowyadoinnn: My ex and I used to have quickies on my lunch breaks lol I’d text her “I’m on my way” and she knew what that meant. She was ready for me by the time I got home and just a lot of making out and fingering each other quickly. Then I’d go back to work hahaha

Glacierre: So jealous of all the girls in the replies because it takes me 30min+ to cum!!!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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Hair Cut Regret

I get my hair cut every summer but this year, I regret it. The more insecure I feel, the more makeup I wear. My hair takes forever to grow, any advice on how to help my length?

Here are some replies:

AelithTheVtuber: if it's any comfort, it's giving romanian aunt who's a hairdresser with a roommate get yourself a scalp scratcher one of those lil round rubber one it helps bloodflow and all. the right supplements can help too!

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How do I make my new pixie look more androgynous?

I recently got a big chop with the goal of looking visibly queer/androgynous. While I'm really happy with the change, I do feel a bit grandma-ish.

I'd love to hear advice for styling to look more masculine/androgynous/queer. I'm also open to hearing suggestions on how I could modify the actual haircut the next time I'm at the salon.

Notable replies:

Delacqua: I think a lil texturizing paste and blow drying/finger combing the top of your hair so it's up and messy might get you where you wanna be.

Heysawbones: It’s. It’s pretty androgynous already. You could try flipping the front into a duckbutt for the fuckboy look, I guess? You could shave the sides and leave it longer on top. There are a lot of options, though I wouldn’t say any of them are more queer, exactly.

SilverConversation19: Push your bangs back.

Baloogabanjo: A fade in the back would masc it up a bit, add designs for more queer vibes. Also, a micro bang would pull it back toward femme, but in an edgy alt kind of way, and extra andro in combination with the fade

Yggdrasil-: I would play around with styling the bangs with pomade or similar. Try pushing them back, tousling them, etc. You could also try point cutting the ends to thin them out a bit. I think the blunt bangs are the main thing pushing it in a feminine direction.

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Oxygen is overrated anyway

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I’m 26 and I’ve been mostly single for about a year, but in that time I’ve really progressed my transition. I’m clearly femme, vaguely punk and vaguely prep, and get compliments on my hair, make up, and outfits on a semi-frequent basis. Oh and I get ABSOLUTELY NO ATTENTION ON DATING APPS

It breaks my fricken heart because I just want to MEET MY PERSON!!!

I have hobbies!! I have interests!! I have so many friends!! But no wife!!

It feels like so many people here are 18-22 but I know there’s more people in this city. I see so many couples here and it just breaks me each time.

I go out pretty frequently and talk to people whenever I can, but I’m honestly just getting tired. I keep waiting for my person to approach me, but that’s like waiting to get struck by lightning.

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Legitimate question. I am introverted and while I do enjoy socializing and going out, I get pretty drained from large gatherings (social anxiety sucks) and have always enjoyed solo time at home or out (like going to the movies, a restaurant, a park/museum solo I mean). I have no problem being by myself truly, and sometimes prefer it to reset.

I see all the posts about omg how do I find my person? Where do we go for dating? What app do I use? But what if I'm introverted and am attracted to introverts... where do I find my fellow soft personality lady lmao?

How are we supposed to meet if both of us just hang out with our small friend circles or stay home and do our at home hobbies? Some of my friends were so adamant about me doing speed dating (UGH) or those goddamn pitch a friend things and I had to hard turn them down to remind them, the lady I would like most, would NOT be going to those events and my social anxiety is screaming at the thought of doing them lmao.

I do go out. Been to some mahjong events. Gone to some expo/conventions. A karaoke here, a karaoke there. A goddamn NWSL game where everyone and their mom was booed up. There's been some hard gay stares but honestly I'm a bit too shy to talk to a complete stranger in the wild. I open up once you get to know me but am a little too in my head for initial convos (because of that I'm a little bit of a yapper on first dates to fill dreaded dead space lmao).

I've even attempted to slide into someone's DM of a girl I thought was incredible attractive, my type, with what seemed like very similar interests (saw her on my stylist's page) but it was such an epic fail. I was bummed about that one but maybe in hindsight it's kind of weird to get a message from someone you don't know at all saying hey you're cute lmao. AT LEAST I TRIED. It seems like my chance of actually meeting someone to date feels so slim to none. I've given up on the apps completely. Times have changed and pre COVID they were banging and I went out on a lot of dates (some fun, some not so much) but now... I dunno everyone feels so dry, boring... uninteresting? Not serious or a little too serious? Like people forgot how to converse and have fun. Or maybe they're just not my type I dunno cause I do seem to have a specific type: tatted, a lil shy, loves art+gaming, has pets, a little tomboy edge.

I'm a gamer. I love art, movies, music. I love nature, horseback riding, a stroll in a museum. I do some martial arts to stay fit. How can I meet someone that likes the same cozy hobbies IF WE'RE ALL JUST AT HOME DOIN THEM ALL THE TIME.

Some comments that stood out:

PerennialQuester: Honestly? Reddit/Discord/other online platforms you may interact with, or dating apps. Not only will you potentially find people that don't go out a lot, and have similar interests (based on which communities you interact in), but you're also likely to find someone that is accepting of that same lifestyle. Anytime I've gone out to places to meet people, they were often unaccepting of my homebody lifestyle. They were typically there because that's where they would normally be. You'll encounter plenty of weird people online, just like in person, but there are plenty of sweet and kind people online that live similarly to you and enjoy similar hobbies.

BigSwordLady: Commenting because I genuinely don’t know and would also like answers. I hate all the solutions people have told me so far so I’m not going to recommend them.

AigisTheSapphic: Other than chance meetings online or through those hobbies, I have no clue. Similar boat, and while I am trying to do more social stuff irl, I worry that I'm just unable to match that extroverted energy when I'd much rather be home x.x sometimes it feels like a genuine curse.

Bluesond: I mean, I’m introverted but still do well with people lol. Definitely not shy. I recharge alone but am totally good in social settings. They just exhaust me. I met my (also introverted) wife in the peace corps

Forest_Fox_1289: I’m quite introverted but I honestly really enjoyed speed dating, I did one with rounds lasting 10 minutes (I think traditionally they’re 3 minutes which seems crazy short), and there were maybe 8 of us total? It was very refreshing to be at an event where everyone was on the same page (monogamous+long term) and I ended up going on a second date with someone. That fizzled out after the second date but I still felt like it was incredible bang for my buck in terms of time spent. Basically instead of doing 7 separate first dates I did them all together and it was in the time frame of 1 regular date, so I felt like it wasn’t too bad energy wise.

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In recent months I (26F) have realized that I love my best friend. She (24F) is single and has been for a while. She is gay. I am gay and single too. We hang out all the time.

This isn't the first time I've fallen in love with a friend. The first person I ever truly loved, a few years ago now, was a close friend too. I was so sure it was mutual and we even dated for a few months. But in the end she didn't love me back (or she said she didn't, there's more to the story) and I held on for over a year before I realized I had to cut her off to get over her. We are friends again but I'm still a bit fragile from being so sure that the feelings were mutual and then they turned out not to be. In short, my first experience with love was unrequited, painful, and I learned all the wrong lessons--mainly that I'm not lovable back.

I'm not enjoying this crush. I hate the prospect of repeating the same pattern. I hate the idea of yearning endlessly all over again. I've been trying to date other people but I genuinely keep thinking that whatever date I'm on would be more fun with her.

She was a very closed off person when we met, due to a past abusive relationship that ended a couple years ago, and she has made a great effort to open up to me and let me in more. I am currently the person she talks to the most outside of her family, and we hang out 2x a week. It's in our schedule lol. I didn't set out with romantic interest--it developed over time. During pride, we did stuff every single night for 9 days straight, and at the end of that streak I could swear I felt a momentary, mutual spark. And I started feeling genuine hope when she randomly started talking about how she's feeling open to dating again.

But the signs are not there like they were with this last friend (which didn't work out anyway). And the last time I saw her, she brought up that she actually doesn't want to date anyone at the moment. So I'm back to just hopelessly yearning. I'm scared if I tell her it will hurt her as this is genuinely the first time she's given someone a chance to be close to.

I don't know what to do.

Notable replies:

IneffablePossum: What is the lesbian experience, if not hopelessly yearning. I think that you don't have to do anything. This might be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think this has to lead to a romantic advance on your part. She seems to be in a difficult place, she probably has conflicting feelings (feeling open to start dating again, but then not really wanting to date anyone at the moment) and might need more time before she's completely comfortable. Maybe as you give it time, you meet other people, or so does she. You can focus on building this friendship, wherever it might take you. Crushes can be uncomfortable, but you too can get over the discomfort and just inhabit the crush that also happens to be a friendship. Once you see she's at a more comfortable place, you can make a more serious advance and see. But this might not be the right time, in my opinion.

Therealshadow99: I'm demiromantic/demisexual, so falling for friends is 90% of my life. Obviously this situation is fairly complex, but as someone with a lot of experience with falling for friends... I personally think you should be honest with your feelings. It may not go anywhere, in fact my experience is most often it doesn't, but you are way more likely to get hurt by accident if you aren't honest about your feelings.

Shidded_farted: As this is a pattern for you in friendships, perhaps therapy would be a good idea.

Valkyrie-sylv: While I want to manifest this for you, it sounds like she isn't ready for a relationship yet. That being said, if you two are mature enough to handle your feelings, you could let her know them. It's possible to respect her boundaries about being unready to date again, while also not pressuring her into a situation simply because you have developed feelings. If that isn't feasible, then you are likely better off keeping your feelings to yourself. If you have other friends you can vent to about them, I would encourage you to lean on your support system. Also, writing a hand-written letter to her without sending it to her can be cathartic. You feelings are valid. Expressing them to others isn't the same as expecting those people to carry them or validate them for you. However, I understand your friend has a history of trauma, so you will need to use your own judgement in this situation.

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Still More Lesbian Artwork

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I’m so depressed and I’m not able to do anything, I was once motivated, dedicated, hardworking and positive… now lots of up and downs in life and I lost interest, I’m 30 years old lesbian, looking for friends, someone with whom I can share about life, build this life again.

A few replies that stood out:

Kthyprtr: I got divorced earlier this year. The depression really got to me. My mom and a friend have helped me out a lot to kind of get back to normal. Only just recently have I gotten back to working out. Going out this Friday to a queer happy hour, hoping to meet new people.

ShmeckMuadDib: Yup. I moved 2000 km away from home with a suitcase after comming out to my "libral" family and have had to restart my life from scratch. I have 1 friend from before I moved and am only on good terms with my father (hes the only one who put in effort). Its rough we do what we need to survive. You got this girl!

Jaded_Promise_1195: Yes! I’m 30, living in a country I didn’t grow up in with no family, my friends are all 30+ mins away and I’m living on my own for the first time dealing with a hellish landlord (had to report them to the council) after previously living with my partner and splitting up earlier this year. It has been hell but my god have I learnt a lot of hard life lessons very quickly. I’m not doing great either atm, I’m very lonely and everything is very hard, I feel very demotivated to live. Starting over from absolute scratch is very hard but with each day the sun will rise and set and we will keep moving forward. I’m always up for a chat if you need some venting x

Sumadeumas: Been a year since my divorce. Just started dating again. Life is fine... but I haven't actually been happy in years. Just trying to keep taking steps forward even if it just feels like going through the motions.

Therealshadow99: Yeah... I've been rebuilding my life the last couple years. Everything fell apart before that. It didn't help that my parents have had multiple life threatening medical situations and as an only child it's left to me to take care of them. I've had to rebuild my life while doing that...

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I(18F) just started a relationship with a long term friend of mine (18F). This is my first ever relationship so I have some concerns.

I don’t know if I’m having a normal amount of sexual thoughts about her. I enjoy our conversations but I constantly want to kiss her and have sex with her. There have been nights when we go to sleep after having sex and I still can’t get enough so I kiss her and we end up making out until sunrise even though she has told me she has stuff to do in the morning and needs to sleep. I just can’t help myself and most of the time she doesn’t reject me in the moment. I honestly try to just sleep but I still feel horny and when we cuddle and she is close to me I get even hornier. Sometimes she does tell me to stop touching her because she wants to sleep and I always stop but it feels like I have to be physically tied up to resist the urge. I don’t know what to do because I think it’s nice that I’m attracted to her but also I don’t want to piss her off with my horniness.

Also I feel like it’s not a mismatch between our libidos because she also wants to have sex a lot but she seems to be more in control when she has stuff to get done while I’m ready to not get any sleep and then worry about the consequences in the morning.

Highlights from the comments:

Flowertree1: You are 18 and freshly in love, this is very normal and you should just enjoy it, horndog ✨️ BUT yeah you should do respect her when she says stop. It seems her libido is slightly lower than yours. In my first wlw relationship my ex also didn't get much sleep in the beginning... so maybe she has just more control over it lol nothing to feel bad about that you cannot as long as you stop when she tells you to. Ylu can go to the bathroom and rub one out to sleep better

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I'm conducting a little study!!!

Personally I'm at a point in my life where classic 80s synth pop tickles my pickle the most.

A few notable replies:

Ch3rry-p0p-plz: Nine inch nails, System of a down, Slayyyter and The Shins

Complete-Ad9287: I am a metalhead. Black (especially war metal) death, thrash, industrial and doom are my favourite types of metal. However, I love most music genres ^.^

Flohara: I love a bit of 80s synth, but I prefer deathrock, post punk and dbeat if I can pick.

Smoked-cheeze: the cranberries! big yearner over here 🥸

Upset_Geologist_3422: I’ve always loved 2010s indie rock the most like Alvvays, Wavves, deer hunter, Mac Demarco, bright eyes, arcade fire, best coast ect it makes me wish I was a millennial so bad I’m forever pissed I missed out on the indie renaissance.

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Kind of a vent?

To start this off, I want to say that rationally I don't find anything wrong with this. It's my self esteem and I actually don't tell my girlfriend how I feel about this because I know it isn't right.

We are both 24. She is my first girlfriend (dated men before), first time with a woman, first time sleeping over with a lover, first time trying non-vanilla stuff in sex. I could go on. Of course she dated other women before me. So she's had lots of experiences, I feel like I can't live up to those. I know relationships are always different because we behave differently with each partner but sometimes I get in my head about it.

I feel like she might think stuff with me is less special because she already had that in the past.

Some comments that stood out:

Nogamejustart: My girlfriend is my first wlw relationship. Shes been out longer than me and has had ~ 5 gf before me. She treats me like she’s never seen a woman before in her life — this has not once crossed my mind. I think you should talk to your girl and literally say hey I feel insecure about xyz and need some reassurance :)

Thatonecrazywolf: I was the first for everything for my fiancée. On the flip side, I had a lot of experiences before her. She's been the best emotionally, physically, etc. Experience doesn't mean it was a standard, it was a good time, etc. A lot of experience I had sucked.

Mashallaaaahhhh: Chill, and if you're worried, talk to her about it. I was the first for someone but I honestly couldn't tell because she was so chill and nonchalant about it.

Belispe4k: sounding like drake

Living-Sandwich4784: just talk to her abt it and ask for reassurance if u keep it w u it rots and spreads dont do that

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Learning spanish

Hey girls! I’ve been trying to learn Spanish by my own, which is not easy at all lol I was wondering if there’s any Spanish speaker that would like to chat :) I’d love to meet yall

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Weekend needs to hurry up 🤷🏻‍♀️😴😴

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It seems like my family is filled with lesbians and I'm talking close family. My Mom is a lesbian, she left my Dad in 1999 for another woman. My sister is also a lesbian. My niece is pansexual, married to a transwomen. And I have a first cousin who is a lesbian.

Just wanted to see if anyone else's family is full of gays 😊🤣

From the comments:

LongjumpingMethod869: At this point, you guys don't have family reunions, you just host your own private Pride festival.

Decimonster: Lucky.

AshasSa1tWife: Lesbian sister (who I do not talk to because she is right wing), gay uncle, and bi girl cousin married to a woman

Cuntliflower: First gay person in the bloodline 😔

JenLiv36: My family is filled with gay people. We have a gay family tree. Both my brother and I are gay. I’m convinced my grandmother was a lesbian and my mom was absolutely at least bisexual.

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Does anyone else not find these type of memes funny

This actually had 13k likes when I saw it... like just ugh why?? But I don't know if it's other lesbians finding it funny too or just men.. or straight women? Idk? Thoughts? This gave me the ick so bad I can't stand being perceived by men in any capacity

What people on Reddit said:

Background_Dog_3629: It’s not funny at all 😵‍💫 it’s disgusting

In-another-sky: Mixing bullshit signs with homophobe signs is generally great. This one is gross.

Surfing_Tension: I just accepted that dudes will always be gross about it

TheKiwiBirb: I'm okay with it. First you being upset is completely valid. But the more people who normalize LGBT folks, cringeworthy meme or not is good in my book. Maybe it's me being an older, jaded woman who has seen how far we've backslid as far as civil rights go but i'm just... numb. This is fine, to me, because anyone normalizing is us is fine until we get to a point we aren't in danger. That said I want to re-iterate that your feelings about it are normal and valid. It's just depressing we've backslid so much that I just don't care. when people sexualize us as long as they aren't asking for us to be killed or 'enforced to be straight.'

ErraticNymph: This specific type of joke is kinda funny, cus it’s more at the expense of the homophobe protestors, but it’s also at the expense of the type of queer people who see homophobic protestors and decide the best way they can get back at them is to perform queerness in front of them. It’s clickworthy, but it’s not very effective or meaningful. It does have notes of “straight guy objectifies lesbians for his own pleasure,” which is just flat out gross, but it is more “look at these gay people farming views by being gay in front of homophobes.” I think the first few people who did it were genuinely thinking they were making a difference, or at the very least angering the homophobes, but that is not the case anymore. This pictured occurrence is just a photo-op.

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