Actual Lesbians

I support bi women, bi women in open or non-monogamous relationship s with men, etc. looking on there. Have at it. But if you're just looking to cuck for some girl getting with your boyfriend what are you doing on an app for women dating women? Can't we have something that's not about men?

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Getting my glow back.

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Long time lurker first time poster

Came out and divorced my husband a few years ago, still trying to figure this all out as a single parents while finding my identity as a nonbinary lesbian 🖤

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My question is I guess, what can I do to change this? I am crying in my room rn because I really want to have a gf but I simply can not. I tried dating apps only to end up having likes from men, being ghosted etc etc. I tried to join queer associations in my city but they are so strict (in the sense that they only let people who are active activists for the movement and i am not) so i couldnt get it. I have a bachelors and a masters degree but honestly no one was interested in me during school (besides men, ofc) people told me to go workshops, I went for a ceramic course for like a year but all women there had a boyfriend or married etc etc.Ive been wanting a romantic relationship FOR YEARS but it does not work for me. And I am 29!!! So many men are interested in me and like literally zero woman so I am starting to think for some reason I am not appealing for queer women, because I met queer women told me who are not ready for romantic relationships to decline me only to be in a very romantic relationship with another woman they met couple months after.... I am so sorry for my vent I just want to have some inspiration from other lesbians and especially older lesbians who had similar stories with a nice ending I guess:( thanks everyone

What people had to say on Reddit:

Lithotine: Don’t give up!!! Life is so long, and I totally felt that way for my entire 20’s and I related to everything you’re saying. But stay the course, keep doing cool and interesting things and cultivating your awesome personality and you WILL become visible to queer women. I am older than you, got a master’s degree and couldn’t find anyone to date until literally age 30 and then like a switch flipped. Stay the course!!! You sound cool and interesting and like you have a lot going on for you

Wuboo: As far as I can tell it is awful for everyone regardless of who you are. If it is something you are interested in, I would suggest starting your own queer group for whatever type of activity or hobby you have the most passion for, and have people come to you instead of trying to break into groups

RedErin: the trick to dating women is that you have to be the one to talk to her. It's seems you're expecting someone to chase you.

Sanguine-rose_: I don't have any successful stories, just want to say that I can relate. Haven't tried dating apps (they're very limited in my area), but in local spaces every queer woman I meet is either in a relationship or very young. 28, never dated and not sure if I ever will.

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where my black femmes @?!

haven’t posted in this sub for awhile🫣 roll call

Some replies that stood out:

Jaimeeallover: shoutout to y’all fr 🥹 black masc here 🩷

Chubitties: In hiding!

Hvacheng_: here baby 💗

Skateboardbeester: !gif

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Queer identities and kink have always had overlap due to being labeled 'sexually deviant'. My fav example is leather daddies, they appear in kink spheres but are also important to the gay male community. I want to know more about lesbians' involvement in the kink space throughout the history. A lot of history tends to leave out sapphic practices and experiences; I mostly see representation from straight trans women and gay men (don't get me wrong, there's never too much rep for queer people of all kinds). Much love to my queer siblings, but I wanna hear more about sapphics' history.

I do have one fun fact about lesbians in kink with Ma Rainey: she was arrested at this all-women party turned lesbian orgy for obvious reasons (queen shit).

What do you know about lesbians in kink history? Please do tell.

Notable replies:

FilmBunnyAudio: You should definitely watch Bloodsisters Leather Dykes and Sadomasochism. It specifically covers the lesbian SM scene and the overlap with activism. It's on Kanopy, which, if you have a college email or library card, you can watch for free. There are a bunch of On Our Backs and a few scans of Quim on the Internet Archive, which were sex positive lesbian magazines in the 80s/90s. Both are really interesting reads and a look into the lesbian scenes of the past. This video also interviews a dyke daddy named Skeeter and she talks about her experience being a dyke daddy. Skeeter is also in the Bloodsisters documentary.

Gauva_and_Cheese: You may have already found this, but I found this article partially based on someone’s PhD thesis about Leatherdykes and lesbian SM communities in the late 20th century and their interactions with the feminist movement also has good pictures https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/leather-feminism-lesbian-leatherdyke-bdsm Also found an article about the 1990s documentary Bloodsisters https://www.autostraddle.com/bloodsisters-a-timeless-exploration-of-leatherdyke-culture/ I also found someone’s masters thesis on the subject in the US, quite long but you can probably skim a lot https://www.etd.ceu.edu/2015/robinson_anna.pdf

RavenholdIV: Everything here is peak https://web.archive.org/web/20030202100658re_/home.earthlink.net/~devilfishtattoo/brat/

Emergency-Grass-7530: Thank you for this gold!

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Has anyone seen Lost Girl?

It’s a Canadian show about a bisexual succubus named Bo. I’ve just started it and so far it has a lot of sapphic moments. I think she has prominent sapphic romance as well. It’s really good and I highly recommend it. I think anyone who likes charmed or Buffy the vampire slayer would love this show.

A few notable replies:

Selraroot: I absolutely loved this show as a teenager, I wouldn't exactly call it a good show but it's certainly a great show.

X_rebelrose_x: Omg I forgot about this show!! I loved it so much

Paramoriaa: I never watched the last season, but this show definitely was a gem. I'm bad at endings (death, finales, etc) which is why I haven't finished it yet; it had nothing to do with the quality. The writing and acting is sometimes a little weak, but overall, it's such a good show that really helped me unlock parts of myself.

Gorgonesque: I like the show. Bo was the first bisexual character I had seen in a series who had sexual and romantic relationships with multiple genders (just hadn’t seen bisexuality well represented at this point) I’m a Doccubus shipper but also loved Dyson My favorite part of the show though was Bo and Kenzies relationship. To me that is the real heart of the show

AshesOWOAshes: It's a fun show. Love Bo

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Selfie Sunday

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My outfit for the WPBL games I went to yesterday!

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I'm thinking along the lines of Cinderella is Dead- i absolutely LOVED that book, but havent really managed to find anything similar so far. Also i adore murder mysteries, but I've yet to find any sapphic ones :( little to no spice if possible, but i'm happy to read anything tbh. Thanks for amy recommendations!!!

Highlights from the comments:

Dusoleildhiver: I will scream The Isle On The Silver Sea by Tasha Suri from the rooftops. Holy Wrath by Victoria Mier is also lovely.

Sexynecromancy: If you like sci-fi fantasy, i just finished love galaxy by sierra branham. It was soooo good, murder mystery paired with an intergalatic version of the bachelor. Lots of passionate yearning and some mentions, rather than descriptions, of sex. I would also recommend the locked tomb series by tamsyn muir (another all time fav). The first book, gideon the ninth, is a fantasy sci-fi-ish murder mystery but the format diverges in the following books. No spice!

Gender_eu404ia: Murder Most Actual by Alexis Hall - a murder mystery that sort of reminded me of movie Clue, with a lesbian protagonist and her wife as the central characters. A Spindle Splintered by Alix E Harrow - a meta retelling of Sleeping Beauty

Mbokajaty: Perhaps The Fox and the Devil by Kiersten White, it's a historical/fantasy detective story set in the 1920's if I remember correctly. I liked it a lot.

HaNgOnSpIdErMoNkEy: Even Though I Knew the End. It’s Mystery noir and has light fantasy elements. It’s a novella, so super quick read, but I love it so much.

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Trying to accept my new life...

This dress is amazing I had to share... I went to a concert with friends I've known practically my whole life and had the best time.

I don't think I've gone out and danced since I got sober 6+years ago. Let alone danced the night away. My friends were determined to capture this dress. And me being genuinly carefree. They are the greatest hype babes.

Trying to hang on to those moments. It's hard because behind all these omg I'm having the best time posts is just equally as sad moments. It's really hard to adjusting to single life after 20 years. But I have to remind myself that it is sososososo much better. Ive gotten to experience so much this year.

It's so peaceful & quiet... and its weird but its uncomfortable. My therapist said it would be and that I'd miss the choas because that's all I've ever known...I'm like thats insain... but damn it... shes right... and it is insain... like come on brain... work with me here... 😅

I think I need to start a journal and list everything ive accomplished or experienced since ending my marriage. Because its a pretty extensive list... it's so easy to look at the negative you forget how good life actually is.

Blah... I have more feels to share but... idk how to say them poetically... 😅 to be continued...

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I just can’t help myself 😝

What people had to say on Reddit:

Ashamed_Set7281: You've now been sentenced to life in horny prison without the possibility of parole.

DyslexicLesbian: Maybe I'm being a lil sensitive here, but that feels disrespectful

-Blitzvogel-: Let's go back to tradition and make the Olympics naked again and while we are at it, all other sports too. (This is not meant completely serious)

AnnaEstelle: I must be worse because I see the fun in keeping it on

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Last night I gad a wet dream in which I was having sex with one of my friends during a sleepover. She’s bisexual and I’m a lesbian but I don’t like her and I’m sure she doesn’t like me either, so idk why I had this kind of dream. I feel disgusting, like a gross predator. I have been sa’d in the past so maybe thats the reason I feel so guilty and gross about something I can’t control, but I just feel like a horrible friend and just so guilty and ashamed

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From the comments:

Striking_Carpenter11: The Safekeep by Yael van der Wouden

Cogitoergodrum: The Woman from the Waves by Roslyn Sinclair features the sexual awakening of a nun (via an interspecies romance with a shapshifting Irish water horse - which sound ridiculous but it's actually great)

Fell_out_of_the_bed: A little sin by rawnie sabor has a closeted lesbian who figures theyre gay through sexual discovery

Archaeogeek: The Lay of You by Corrie MacKay. There are some trigger warnings you should mind, but I felt that they were handled carefully. I had avoided the book due to them until someone on here gushed about it in a way that was compelling. I enjoyed it very much.

-Potatoes-: Not sure if it exactly fits the bill but Bloom Town is a sapphic Western. the MC is from a very conservative Christian town. The book ends up being pretty spicy though!

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I'm in the East Coast of the US. I've been to many gay and lesbian bars in my life and in my experience they're always full of gay men and straight girls. A lot of the straight girls I've met at these bars want to go to gay bars because they feel safer which is totally understandable. I met a girl one time who was getting out a very violent relationship with a man and the gay bar she went to was her only place to feel safe having a drink and I respect that and understand.

I recently went to North Carolina and went to a bar called O'Henry's which is the oldest gay bar in the state. I get there and there is a Bachelorette party going on. (And I know for a fact that is was for a straight wedding). For some reason, I didnt feel like that was right to have your party at a bar where gay and lesbians just want their own space and feel safe.

What are your opinions? Maybe I was just overreacting.

Some replies that stood out:

Incourgettible: nah i hate this shit too. if straight women want to be safer they can go to gay men bars, where they're not creating confusion. no gay guy is gonna accidentally hit on a straight girl in a gay bar. lesbians, however...

Le_soda: Keep straights out of gay bars. Straight girls going to lesbian bars end up ruining the lesbian bar because men find out straight girls hang out there, and then the bar becomes full of men and then lesbians leave.

Iwannakissmysweetie: That they shouldn't be there or yet, they should be aware that lesbians/bi women will hit on them because it's a bar made for US, for our comfort and freedom to be able to flirt with other women, be who we should be able to be without feeling scared, and aka that when one straight woman starts acting shocked/gagging after getting hit on, they should get their ass handled

Pristine-Bison3198: A bachelorette party seems disrespectful. Straight women having a safe night out with a friend or two doesn't bother me, as long as they're respectful and don't get rude if someone hits on them.

Soniq268: Yea the Bachelorette in a gay bar for a straight wedding is not ok.

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The Vampire Caroline and Pirate Lina the Red by Kjetll

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oh nothing, just me and my tall, strong nerd butch :3

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