Actual Lesbians

Dressed up fancy for a change

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I understand and know the history of drag and what it has done for the lgbtq community, it's huge and super important. but I just can't bring myself to enjoy it. I also understand all of the time effort and money drag queens/kings put into their craft. My childhood best friend is a drag queen, I know the behind the scenes very well. I just don't think it's fun to watch people in costume dance/prance/lip sync to music. I find myself bored and it feels a little misogynistic. I feel like an outsider for this. Almost all of the gay events in my city are centered around drag shows. It's exhausting

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Hinge Profile. Any critiques?

I figured I'd ask on here because I have not had any matches or likes in a long time. I even fully updated my pictures and prompts yet I still have gotten nothing. I know I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea but I'd really appreciate the help, just don't be too harsh, thank you!

Notable replies:

DJ_In_a_Penopticon: Hey, I think your profile looks great! It seems like it's true to you and offers lots of things for people to ask about. I find that in the lesbian community, I don't usually get a lot of likes on my hinge, but I have much better luck with matches if I like them first and ask a question about their profile. If I were to swipe on yours it might be something like "hey! It's really cool you like DnD. I don't know much about it but it's something I want to learn more about. What is your character like?" I think showing initiative and asking a question is both a) flattering - you took the time to actually read their profile and b) shows that you can carry a conversation. You asked a question - fewer and fewer people on hinge are able to do that. I hope this helps!

Writingcat1993: This is a great profile! Hello, fellow DnD and video game player!!! Also, Amethyst is one of the best characters in Steven Universe for sure! I wish you luck with your dating endeavors!

Warm-Technology-7334: Great profile. My one critique would be heavy reliance on pop culture. Not all of the references are going to hit with everyone. Some are pretty niche in broader circles. I may feel like I can’t hang if I don’t know what these are/don’t like them.

Luvw1tch: So real on the non sharing part 😭

I_woke_up_as_you: i’ve never been on hinge. These screenshots were the first I’ve ever seen of it. But I used to be on a dating app. So my comments will probably be a little imperfect. If I’d run across your profile (which is unlikely because I would’ve used an age filter that would’ve eliminated you) I would have swiped favorably. I recognize that that only signals to you that I’m interested in chatting, And there’s quite a few things I could talk about, but if we ever got around to the dungeons and dragons part? I was playing in the 1970s, from the original three book box set, before the publication of Greyhawk. It’s a different game 50 years later

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back with another bush artwork :3333

i got alot of positive feedback from the last bush post (check out my acc if you havent seen it) so i thought id make another 😉😉😉

P.S.: also if there is any advice y'all have for improving my sketches feel free to share :3

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My partner (34NB) and I (35F) have been together for 4 years, living together for 2. A few days ago they woke up and told me they had a sex dream about a colleague. The colleague is married with kids and super religious so I really didn't think anything of it. I laughed with my partner, bonded over how weird our brains can be. She texted me from work about how she bumped into that same coworker and she felt so weird. Again, I felt like this was a normal and a little embarrassing life moment, nothing to be worried about. About a day later when my partner and I were winding down for bed, they cuddled me from behind and did what they usually do when they're trying to initiate. BUT they started talking about how they got head in their dream and it turned them on and I immediately felt sick. I don't think I care that they might be attracted to this person or dream about them, but saying those things to me while trying to be intimate with me felt so disrespectful. I talked to them about it and they were receptive in the moment and thanked me for sharing my feelings, but now they're starting to have express alot of feelings about our intimacy and how they feel like the pressure is all on them (its not) and how they feel overly criticized because of my feelings?

I feel like even for someone who is sex positive, this moment was just icky and wondering if anyone in a LTR has experienced something similar and what you did to process your feelings and was there anything your partner could have done to make you feel more secure?

What people on Reddit said:

ThatMkeDoe: My wife and I have had a third on our relationship and it's always been like common sense to NOT mention the third while having intimate time between just us two. That's so wild that she thought it was okay to initiate with that.... Like even if she wanted to experiment based on the dream... Why bring up another person....

Hitokage97: A partner saying that to me would be break up territory and they would have to do a lot to regain trust lol Dont care if people think it would be harsh or whatever, that's really not cool.

RedErin: nooooo, those kinds of thoughts we keep to ourselves

Footiebuns: Regardless of how they feel about you expressing your feelings, it's perfectly reasonable for you to set a boundary about not have sex if they initiate by mentioning someone else. Especially since you admitted this turns you off.

ContingentMax: I'd be extremely upset if my partner tried that. I know it's a thing for some people but to assume you'd like it is wild to me. Maybe my trauma from my ex speaking but I'd be worried she's going to try to open the relationship. There were things like that before my ex polybombed me about wanting to fuck her co-workers. Set a clear boundary if you don't want that.

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Does this tattoo scream gay to you?

What people on Reddit said:

Isadomon: Not really, but yiu should have gotten it cause you like it

Permaculturebun: No. If you asked me to find the hidden meaning behind this tattoo I might reach and say the cross section of the fig looks a little like a butthole.

Physicistdeluxe: no. but its different.

Pentherby: Oh boy. Honestly, I’d fill in that halved fig. Apart from momentarily wondering why a cut fig was still on the branch, I basically saw an asshole.

Abiclairr: Not exactly, it makes me think of the poem by Sylvia Plath about the fig tree. And liking Plath is a queer woman thing to do.

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This is a rant/vent. I am at a girls weekend with my two best friends at a vacation home. We had a lovely time with swimming, games, wine, everything. The ending to this time was less than ideal though.

I thought that Saturday evening for us was going to be drinking and talking and games. We ended up somehow watching the men’s football World Cup game, because one of my friends boyfriends is out fishing and can’t watch it, so that she can tell him how it goes. Straight away, before we started watching it I told them that I’m not interested. The whole game I just heard “oh my god and my boyfriend thinks that I have stupid questions about football” “I’m so glad my boyfriend is not here to hear you”. Then, because the game seemed to come to a conclusion fast, we went to sleep barely at midnight.

I am so tired. Even in a space full of the women I love most my voice is less important than a man’s. I should censor and police myself to not upset a man that is halfway across the country on a fishing trip. Men hold almost no value to me personally. I could live the rest of my life with no contact with a man in perfect happiness and harmony. I am so tired.

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I have a fwb that I see occasionally, let’s call her J. We hadn’t seen each other in a lil while so I went over to her place last night. No expectations- We planned to smoke and watch Harry Potter.

We cuddled up of course. Nice and stoned watching chamber of secrets. I’m comfy, shes comfy and we just chill like that until J starts to let out lil light snores lol. It was cute. I laid with her for a lil longer while she slept till I started to fall asleep too and that was my queue to go. (I don’t stay over)

This morning I get a text from her apologizing for falling asleep. I said don’t be sorry and that I was super comfy and almost fell asleep too.

Then she says “I don’t get to lay with anyone so it’s a different kind of peace”

That warmed my heart bc I know what she means. We didn’t have sex, we didn’t even makeout. We kissed once when I left. We just shared some physical touch that we both enjoyed and I love that 🩷 and I loveee women 🫠

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Linen suit for a september wedding?

I got a great deal on this suit today that I couldn't pass up. Can I wear this to a late September wedding? It's in the evening, and the invite says cocktail attire. It's a linen fabric with a thin stripe. Too informal, or could I dress it up with dark brown or burgundy loafers?

Notable replies:

Candle_True: I like the fit and style of it, and linen is fantastic as you can dress it up or down. However I do feel something is off with the color, would you be open to dying it? When I hear evening, cocktail, and late September I’m thinking a darker color scheme is expected.

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i’m so done with men who say “i can change you,”“she’s not really gay,” or continue to flirt with you nonstop even when you tell them you’re a lesbian like shut uppppppppppppppp

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I’m very attracted to chubby feminine women! Especially that lower stomach pudge just gets me going!

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What sapphic books can you recommend for Disability Pride month?

It can be any genre as long as is sapphic.

A few replies that stood out:

PuzzWiz: Holy Wrath by Victoria Mier 💜🖤

Talking_Waterfall: The Unbroken + sequels by C. L. Clark has a physically disabled POV character with chronic pain and she uses a cane.

UCanBdoWatWeWant2Do: Big Swiss by Jen Beagin has characters dealing with mental heath issues and addiction, not sure if it fits 100%, someone please confirm.

Impressive-Peace2115: Mental health: - When the Museum is Closed by Emi Yagi - magical realism - Bianca Torre is Afraid of Everything by Justine Pucella Winans - YA thriller/mystery - Everyone in this Room Will Someday be Dead by Emily Austin - contemporary litfic Autism: - Moon Dust in My Hairnet by J.R. Crease (MC is poly, with male and female lovers) - The Mimicking of Known Successes by Malka Older (strongly autism-coded, not sure if it's official) - sci-fi mystery

Bakasana212: All of Ada Hoffmann’s sci fi books have autistic FMCs. The Outside features a sapphic romance too

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I just finished reading The Lay of You. I was initially nervous about Dosie's history of sexual abuse. It wasn't as graphic as I had feared, but its presence and shadow are always there. It is such a part of Dosie's character, that even when the abuse hasn't been brought up for dozens of pages, it is still there between the lines. It's like a fossilized impression; a permanent stamp on her soul.

I really liked the dynamic between Dosie and the escort, whose name turns out to be Jennifer Dupont. Dosie is using the escort for sexual therapy bc so much of what has happened to her body has been without her control and consent... and with no pleasure. By hiring Jennifer, Dosie is allowing herself her first sexual experiences with control, consent, and pleasure. It is a means of taking control of her body back... changing her body's narrative.

Helping Dosie affects Jennifer Dupont. Her role in teaching Dosie how to allow her body to feel pleasure and bring her body pleasure is requiring a great deal of empathy and support. It is also requiring touch that isn't sexual. Touch that is reassuring and deeply caring. This is blurring all the professional boundaries for Jennifer. It is also prying something open inside her that she is desperate to keep closed and untouched.

Some adjectives to describe the reader experience... It was emotional and sexy. It was desperate, feral, tender, patient, devastating, elating, grounding, free falling, fulfilling...

Quote from book: "She'd [Dosie] spent the night doing the one thing she knew she excelled at: worship. What she lacked in know-how, she made up for in devotion until Jennifer's pleasure had infiltrated all her senses."

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fills me with so much dread. My parents want me to get married soon. I’m still in the closet. Sometimes I feel like I’m okay with it, but then I imagine myself laying down with a giant man on top of me and I want to puke.

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* vegetarian/ vegan * doesn’t want kids/ doesn’t have kids * monogamous * max 10y age gap  * willing to make efforts, learn together  * mutual obsession (healthy version!!!!)  * can talk about anything/ curious/ can handle my little obsessions  * financial compatibility * physically independent (as in I don't want to be someone's primary caregiver) * minimum 5’6/ 167cm

be nice thank you <33

(also this is for a long term relationship, not casual stuff)

A few notable replies:

Alternative-Bee2125: The height one seems a little much to be a dealbreaker. The rest are fine.

Randomaccount_1317: I think the only one that would make me decide no is the physically independent part. I’m currently physically independent, but I don’t know that I will be for my entire life. Knowing that my partner might not stick around if anything were to happen would be enough to make me decide against pursuing a relationship.

Distracted_x: The height one is weird considering that's taller than the average height of women. And they need to be vegan also. Nothing wrong with that but lesbians are already a tiny percentage of the population then one taller than average and also a vegan. You're going to be looking for that needle in the haystack for awhile I think.

Smileverydaybcwhynot: Yeah, this is a lot and I fit this except your height requirement. The diet thing is an interesting requirement. I've been a vegetarian for over 20 years but I don't care if my partner is or not.

No_Produce_Nyc: Girl if you’re 21 just please go date people, dating should be fun in your 20s, you’re not gonna marry whoever this is and you’ll probably have many relationships.

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Book recommendation: 'The Taste of Her Lips' by Natalia Zabiiako, Estonian-Russian Olympic Silver medalist former figure skater. It's a novel based on the real story of her & Russian-born Australian tennis player Dasha Kasatkina, two top athletes...

For now, you can buy it as an ebook only at their Patreon account: HERE.

This book is a fascinating emotional rollercoaster set in Moscow 2021, a beautiful story about two elite athletes fighting hard for love.

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So my partner broke up with me recently. Which, sucks, but ok. We were nonmonogomous while we were together so I have some other people I've been seeing that I plan to keep seeing. Question is i bought a vibrating strap on that I used on my ex partner once before we broke up (silicone, from wet for her). I don't really want to put to waste a nearly $100 toy that was used once, but I know it can't be boiled because of the electronic components. If I clean it thoroughly with warm water and soap do you think it's safe? Obviously i would be upfront with any new partner that it's not new and let them decide what they want to do. Should I consider it just a casualty and toss it away?

What people had to say on Reddit:

LateLavender83: I mean, it's Silicon, so it should be fine. But i don't think you can boil it with electrical components. Do you not have a toy cleaner solution? As long as it's disinfected in between partners. It's technically okay, though I guess some people might be uncomfortable. Edit: soap is technically enough for cleaning a toy.But I do personally use a dedicated cleaner solution.

Buff-equations: I’ve never understood only using toys on one person, clean the toys after each use and follow an STI testing/disclosure protocol and everything should be fine? If someone gets fluids on the bedsheets I don’t throw them out I clean them.. same for toys

Tsumei: Soap is honestly incredibly good stuff. They even use it in hospitals.

Good_Bit2989: I think this is a personal choice, as long as it is disclosed every time. I understand why you wouldn’t want the toy to go to waste because of the price. I personally have always gotten new everything when I get into a new relationship. New boxers, new strap, new lube, new everything 😅. I would be highly offended if my wife were to tell me that her strap had been used on another woman, but that’s just me. I’d say just disclose the information and go with the roll!

Onewishwillow7: Gentle soap and a dedicated cleaning solution later. Ready to be soaked in ejaculates again. Make sure the toy is fully dried after cleaning and wait at-least a day before re-use.

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