Actual Lesbians

Give me neck kisses.. 🫦❤️‍🔥

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Be honest, what would your ideal GF be? Let your imagination run wild.

Some notable replies:

FR0M_Z3R0: Actually yk what I changed my answer. I want the girl in the picture. Idc if she’s a crude drawing I love her

Ivygrows8: As long as shes: A girl or enby person Attracted to me and understands shes sapphic A nice person Would allow me to be overbearing jn helping her with daily tasks Enjoys cuddles Has common interests Then im set for life

GlowInTheDarkSpaces: A tall sporty masc with a good sense of humor. Someone who likes deep conversations, cuddling, travel, and me.

FR0M_Z3R0: Someone who shares interests with me, loves me (according to my dating history that might be optional tho), doesn’t want kids, doesn’t wanna do the deed, isn’t religious, someone who accepts me as a trans woman, understands me, and is just an all around good person.

Loraxxy: Long dark curly hair 🥰

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I have put myself out there in the dating world and I have came across many different beautiful woman. Obviously, beauty isn’t enough when it comes to choosing a partner. I am fem for fem, so my options are so limited since there’s not many of us.

I met someone who’s stunningly beautiful and is the most kindest human. My only dilemma is that she has a dead end job and no college degree go attain a higher paying job. I would be the breadwinner if we were to get together.

I am just afraid that it won’t feel balanced for me. I have always wanted someone who can match my income so we are financially stable. I worked so hard to be able to afford a certain lifestyle. Adding someone who earns less than me, would most definitely change that. Because, if I were to live with her and if she would ever need me financially, I won’t say no to her.

From the comments:

Ok-Newt-7070: do you want to have a romantic partnership more than being financially stable? it’s a black and white question with a likely nuanced answer it is tricky being in a wealth gap couple; my wife and i have different career goals, income levels, and also different debt. i make more and also spend more on student loans. she doesn’t have any and is our “fun money” until i make even more the person you’re seeing could also be in a state of no debt, and can have different ambitions over time by seeing you be ambitious my wife has started to set career goals on her own pace after seeing me do the same. it’s not set in stone someone stays where they are, but i’ve also tried not to force her to do it & hope you could hold similar understanding with whoever you see, with a different financial state it takes accepting that others have super different levels of ambition; are you always going to want her to have a higher level of ambition that what she has currently? if you ever lost your job, does she seem like the kinda person to help you out as much as she can?

SuperStarDustz: Unless you think you can compromise your lifestyle without long term resentment for her, sounds like its not a good match if you're looking for a long term partner. I was on the other side of this when I was younger. My partner was much more academically ambitious. I grew to resent her time dedicated to her studies even though I knew it was her priority. Due to that and some other uncompatible factors we didnt work out. We were both nice people, just not a match in that way. If she has goals that align with yours and wants to work towards attaining them then maybe, but you shouldn't date someone for potential that they have no want to attain. That doesn't mean she isn't lovely and great, yall just aren't compatible in a way that seems non negotiable to you.

Nighttimez: 30+ here. I think you’re right to be hesitant. Compatibility is a lot more than being attracted to someone and thinking that they’re kind (as I’m sure you know). Do you have the same goals? The same financial priorities? Will you feel resentful being the breadwinner? I would (and have). I think it’s a conversation you can have for sure - is she looking to change her situation or is she happy where she’s at?

Northernspies: There's a lot to consider here. Has she experienced barriers to education? Is she happy with her situation? Does she make you laugh? If she reliable? Is she handy around the house? Emotionally mature? Take it from me, an attorney divorced from a lawyer who's job was so much more important than me that he wouldn't take a day off to be there for my major surgery in the oncology ward (wasn't cancer but looked like it might have been before the surgery). I'll take a work to live spouse over a live to work spouse.

YoureHotCakeCup: TBH I don't know if I could do it. I have never experienced it as my wife and I both have a degrees and are in careers making really good money. This affords us all sorts of benefits, for example I have been able to just quit and leave a job and spend a couple months finding a new job without us having to stress out over it. There is a level a freedom knowing you can just leave a job if you don't like it and find something better. But outside that we just have money to do anything we want. I have a surgery I need to get and I am going to be able to pay out of pocket to go to the best surgeon in the world for it. We are able to have the cars that we want, we spoil our fur babies, our shared closet is fucking huge and we are always buying more clothes, we can go on vacation anytime we have time off, my wife even went back to school and we paid for it out of pocket and now she has a masters and is considering a doctorate. There are just so many perks to us both having degrees and the incomes that come with them.

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I think a part of me still loves my ex because honestly, I still can't stop thinking about her. But lately, now that I have some distance from the relationship, I’ve started realizing so many things that make her a completely incompatible partner to build a future or live under the same roof with. The "icks" are finally hitting me big time.

For context, she’s 22, but she barely even knows how to cook rice—and we’re Asian, so you know how basic that is. She doesn't know how to cook at all. Her laundry is still done by her grandma. Even the cleaning of her bedroom is mostly done by her grandma (she helps out a bit, but still, the heavy lifting is done for her). At 22, the lack of basic life skills and independence is becoming a massive turn-off in hindsight.

On top of the lifestyle mismatch, the emotional exhaustion was real. She literally cannot make a decision on her own; she always needs validation from other people, especially her circle of friends. It felt like every choice in our relationship had to go through a committee.

She also has no solid sense of identity. One minute she wants to be like this, and the next, she’s the complete opposite. Just last month when we were still together, she was telling me how she was finally finding herself in femininity and wasn't comfortable with masculine adjectives anymore. Now, she’s all over social media posting about reviving her "masc era" and being gender non-conforming. Don't get me wrong, I'm not invalidating her personal journey—her life, her rules. But the sheer inconsistency and the way she constantly flips her identity based on whatever trend or external validation she’s chasing right now is just exhausting to look at.

I’m just caught in this weird, confusing headspace where I still care about her, but a huge part of me genuinely wishes we had never met. It’s a harsh realization, but I'm starting to see that I didn't just lose a partner; I also escaped a lot of future stress.

Has anyone else experienced still loving someone but being absolutely repulsed by the reality of who they are as a partner?I

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I’m honestly just really bored. Ask me anything!

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I feel like I might be the only person who didn't enjoy this book. It was recommended in so many posts that I couldn't wait to read it. I had no idea what it was about because I don't like others' opinions to sway my impression of a book.

20 pages in, I was bored. I didn't like the characters or the writing style. 80 pages in, I was ready to quit, but I forced myself to keep reading because so many people love this book.

In fairness, I feel like maybe something was lost in translation if this book was not originally written in English. That might account for what I initially disliked about the writing.

I forced myself to finish it, and I'm sorry to say it never got any better for me. I'm not sure why some people were so moved by the story or characters, while I was not. It's it just me, or are there others out there who felt like this book was overrated?

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First time posting in this sub. 41 and proud 😛

DMs are always open 🙂

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I am lesbian and want to flirt with women. I am afraid of sexually harassing women or making them uncomfortable. How do I flirt with a girl properly and how do I make sure she's not uncomfortable (I won't do this to strangers but to friends as that would blur the lines even more)

I'm sorry if I seem weird asking this. I want to flirt with women and have women flirt with me but never in my life have I ever flirted with anybody of any gender, not even with my exes. I struggle with romance a lot due to my autism and currently identify as an aroace lesbian because of this.

I will also add I "look lesbian" and people can tell I am into girls by looking at me?? (assuming from the amount of lesbian allegations I've gotten in my life, even before I knew what that word was)

Some notable replies:

Mothfoxmantis: Check in to make sure they are confortable with it.

Beneficial_Sky214: Just be nice. I think putting expectations on behavior makes the behavior feel awkward. My best advice is just be friendly and kind and if you’re getting that same energy back, dial it up a little bit

Educational_Pear_622: What has worked for me is ask them about themselves. Get to know them then once the convo gets flowing I can usually start to get flirty and have some banter.

Bedzyk59: I'm in the same boat. I have had success with the cheesiest freaking pickup lines as long as it's paired with an overly dramatic sexy stare.

Pale-Flight1457: i say go for like the CLASSIC flirting techniques. make a sorta corny joke to flirt or even raise your eyebrows real quick when looking at her or even wink - it works, its cute, and it seems to be the main approach ive seen from people with autism also women rarely percieve other women as a threat and the odds of anyone thinking you're a sexual harrasser are slim to none.

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Is tongue better as soon as you wake up, or right before you go to sleep, or both 👀🫠😋

A few notable replies:

StillStanding_96: There is no bad time for tongue

Express-Ad-9082: I say wake up but both are great🤤

Advanced_Seesaw_910: Both. Im extra horny right before sleep and after i wake up.

DemonicGirlcock: Whenever you're both up for it! I am such an anti-morning person, nothing can get me in the mood to give or receive in the mornings. Even just the handful of times with an insistent partner, they were like "ok yeah that wasn't your best, you really aren't a morning person" and never tried in the morning again lol

MagicCapricorn: Both. Even though tongue doesn’t help lmao

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Happy Pride!

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I haven’t eaten pussy in a LONG time and I’m CRYINGGG. I need a woman to practically DROWN me, fuck.

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need the queer ladies to do this for me & i need to do this for the queer ladies

PLEEEAAASSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PLEASEEEPLAELSEPLPEASELPELAASLEPPELASLEEEPLASLEPELESEEEEEEEEEEEEE PELASEEEE I WILL BEG ON MY HANDS AND KENWWS SEPLEAASEEEEEEEE I NEED THIS BOTH WAYS PELAASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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I know I’m at an age with a lot of drama (20f) but I was wondering if anybody has a relationship/marriage that’s just….quiet….peaceful and secure? Most of the people I’ve known since 15 have just been so volatile (not completely blaming them, I have my own issues) I mean I worry about this more now that I know I’m gay, because well not to be sexist but men barely know what’s happening enough to get in a fight. Women are different but when I think about getting married one day to a woman I just want to know your experiences of a cozy secure marriage even just little moments. Thank you! :)

Highlights from the comments:

HeirofSeaandFire: I'm currently lying on an air mattress next to my partner's desk while they play video games so I can be near them while I read my book. Our cat is sprawled on the floor nearby bc he likes the company too. Life is good.

TheLacticAcids: Maybe you need to surround yourself with better people because when I was in my 20s, most of the friends I had weren't 'volatile' or drama filled. There were a handful who had their issues but on a whole, they'd either grown out of those behaviours by then or never had them in the first place.

Bobbimorses: My crush on my wife turned into love when I realized that she was someone who truly valued security over toxicity and really wanted to build a life together. I'm not someone who chases that artificial high, it's exciting to me that we get to create our little rituals and that I get to learn more about her than anyone else. Every morning when she leaves for work, if I'm not awake, she draws me a note to tell me she loves me. I keep them all, and I have hundreds now.

Wareaglesw: My wife and I are best friends and love to just hang out together. Most weekend mornings we sit on the couch under a blanket - she plays her video game and I read or do embroidery or watch TikTok lol while our 3 puppies snuggle us. We hardly ever fight. When we disagree we just talk through it. We get along so well and genuinely enjoy each others company! We are 31 & 32 so part of it comes with age, but keep looking for someone who brings you peace!

Dustydancers: my partner and i have been together for two years. i cannot wait to be together longer. we are very calm, we love working out together and binge reality tv. we also read to each other. she makes me laugh and giggle like no other. we are quite sober, she will hit that weed vape sometimes tho 😅 we have some issues that we wanted to tackle immediately so we regularly go to couples therapy and this has made me love her even more, we get to learn so many tools for our relationship and it allows us to understand us in new ways. the other day i took a bath and within the time i took in the bathroom she baked me my favorite cookies.

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What's your favorite lesbian book that you hold deep in your heart? The book that left the deepest mark on you, the one you can't help thinking about when people ask you this question?

I have been looking for one for a while. I tend to prefer historic/fantasy/dystopian genre, but I'm all ears to hear your favorite titles!

(And if you want to, you can also explain to me why it's the one for you.)

Here are some replies:

Ebjfid2468: Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid. I like that it was about love in different forms. Love for science, love for family, love for friends, love for a lover...

LittleMissAbigail: Tipping The Velvet by Sarah Waters. I think it was the first openly, joyfully sapphic book I ever read, and as a teenager it felt like being seen. It was always going to work for me - I love books with theatrical/artsy settings, historical fiction and adult “coming of age” stories, but I went back and re-read it a couple if years ago and fell in love with it all over again. The writing feels so evocative but so grounded, I find Nan such a gloriously realistically messy protagonist, and it’s heartbreaking and joyful all at once.

Paris22002244: As a young person - Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden given to me by a very perceptive librarian. As an adult - The Safekeep - it's just such a masterpiece - unable to stop reading in the last 1/3. Choose one of these two? Sorry, can't.

Sophelstien: ugh harrow the ninth by tamsyn muir. i have never read a more compelling exploration of lesbianism. as a femme lesbian i particularly love ianthe, i think her lesbianism is so complexly written and it shapes her relationships with everyone around her. harrow is so yummy for anyone who was raised religious, and harrow and ianthe's insanely tense and juicy romantic and sexual tension that never really manifests into anything substantial is soooooo. i've been there. i feel it. i also think it's a really interesting portrayal of lesbian's relationships with men, harrow and ianthe's relationships with john and augustine in htn are also like. WOW been there lol really well written and well thought out my other shout-out is matrix by lauren groff. maybe this was apparent by my harrow the ninth comment but i love lesbian books that aren't necessarily about romance, and matrix IS IT. gorgeous writing, really cool historical context and exploration of lesbianism, and a rare gem in that lesbianism isn't some sort of curse or really bad thing in the mc's life, it's just what she is and it leads her in every way and she is not punished for it by the narrative or by other characters. mindblowing book as well.

DrPizzaPie: My 5 star of the year so far has been “The Girl Who Bit Me” it ended up being so much more of a beautiful story than I originally prepared for. I cried. I laughed. I loved it. 5/5.

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I love listening to audiobooks. I can't be the only one who gets derailed and distracted when an audiobook narrator has the perfect voice?

Sometimes I'll listen to an audiobook and suddenly the narrator is doing more for me than the plot.

What type of voice do you find 🔥

I find soft quiet voices so calming.

What people on Reddit said:

Bostondreamings: Moira Quirk always amazes me.

Mostlydozy: I love audiobooks too! And you’re right the narrator can make the book as easily as crush my interest. Think my favorite is Abby Craden ♡

Milf_itis: Absolutely love Allie Shae! They do an incredible job narrating Rawnie Sabor's books 😍🔥

Kumirkohr: I churn through audiobooks like crazy because I listen to them while I’m at work. And I’ve noticed all my favorite narrators have names that start with A. Abby Craden, Allie Shae, Angela Dawe, Avery Reid. I’ve returned an Audiobook on Libby just to check it out again immediately because I found a version by a narrator I liked. And I’ll choose books to listen to without reading the summary just because they’re narrated by someone I like.

MindfulAspirations: Alana Kerr Collins. Anything she touches... Amazing. She narrated the Bone Season books and her voice makes me fucking melt.

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I just ended a 15+ friendship over this matter. I'm pretty sad because they were the only local friend I had to hang out with. But I just don't think I feel comfortable being around someone who thinks so little of women. For those wondering what "red pill" content is, it's a philosophy mostly tied to the "manosphere" and it encourages hostile sexism and misogyny. Would you stay friends or date someone who started consuming this type of content or would you end the connection?

From the comments:

Phiasch: Absolutely not, most of those folks are transphobic and I can’t be having that shit in my life

Interesting-Grass773: End the connection in a heartbeat. Not even a question.

Rinmejoy: this would take years off my feminism and i would rather burn myself alive

FemaleMishap: Fuck no. You can't have a conversation with someone that does not believe you have a right to exist equally and equitably.

Cuttingirl78: Oof. I could not personally. The content is transphobic, misogynistic, and homophobic.

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Can We Keep Her by Jenifer Prince

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