What do you think is the best way for an asocial person to find love?
Asocial, not asexual, unfortunately I am sexual.
I was in a 6 year relationship (I am 29) and I’m not dating yet but I am preparing myself for when that times come.
I’m autistic and raised by Russian parents (I was raised in the USA). I somehow manage the stereotype of the stone cold Slav face. Maybe I should start off small by throwing a stranger a random smile here and there to build tolerance? TBH it’s amazing I found love once, I’m not very approachable. So any tips on how to seem warm and welcoming too? My pictures also tend to look like mugshots, so I think that will hinder me, so I need to gain photographic skills.
A few replies that stood out:
ContingentMax: They're called social skills for a reason, it's a skill to learn. You'll have to get more comfortable approaching people. Yeah it's hard, I'm in a similar position.
Miss_clarity: Are you actually "asocial" or are you simply inexperienced and unapproachable? Because the advice I'd give would be different. If you're just inexperienced, get experience being more social and find tips and coming across more warmly as an autistic person. Lots of this online. If you're truly asocial, then you have to find specific social events that you can barely tolerate. Probably common interest type things like a science convention or book club or volunteering. Somewhat of a "suck it up" approach but realistically you can only be acquainted with people if you're actually where the people are. Side notes: Practicing smiling is generally good anyway. Additionally, anyone you see frequently enough throughout the week, you can say hi or wave... Don't need to linger or wait for a response. If they're not used to you saying "hi" they'll probably be confused that you're not ignoring them like usual. Just let it become normal slowly over time instead of putting emphasis on any single interaction. Eventually after a dozen "hello" they'll just come to see that as the new normal and probably respond in kind.
Mattfolio: Bad news, asocial or not, you need to put yourself out there to find people, so you may have to get yourself out of your comfort zone to make a connection, I'm sorry. Good news, some people like a stoic/grumpy/RBF faced girly. I have always had a soft spot for slavic women, especially if they talk down to me a little or with distinct confident attitude. It's not for everyone, but we're out there!
Usernames_suck_ok: Hon? "Normal" people are struggling to find love. Liiiiike...it's not just about being asocial.
Thelianimal: You're not alone. This is so relatable. I feel your pain as someone who grew up in an abusive household and is now a hermit (after 30 years living a highly extroverted life almost forcibly). Now I'm locked in, shut down, and not sure where to begin. Maybe start putting yourself out there by taking yourself out to dinner, joining a local club/group that interests you, or taking a class? Local libraries have fun, free group outings and stuff. DM me if you need a friend ❤️
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Originally shared by No-Purchase481 on r/ActualLesbiansOver25 on July 9th, 2026 at 5:47 PM UTC.
