Actual Lesbians

Looking for perspective because I’m honestly confused and a bit hurt.

This is the second time in a relatively short span that I’ve been talking to a woman for a couple of months, met a few times, things seemed to be going in a good direction and then she tells me she’s actually not ready for anything serious right now, but of course we can stay friends or keep it casual.

Both women told me early on that they were looking for emotionally available people and a long-term relationship, and both mentioned they couldn’t seem to find that. So imagine my surprise when after months of what felt like building something, that’s exactly what I don’t turn out to be for them.

The most recent one texted me every single day for months asking how I was, sharing life stuff, being warm and consistent. We met a few times, had a lovely time (I thought), even shared a small tender moment at the end of the last date. Three days later she messaged that she’d rather keep things casual/friendly because she’s “not in the mood for a serious moment right now.” I appreciate the honesty but I’m left really confused.

I’ll admit I noticed some asymmetry in her curiosity about me as I was really invested in getting to know her, her inner world, her people, why she is the way she is. She wasn’t asking me back nearly as much. But she was consistent and warm enough that I thought it was just her tempo, and that it would deepen over time.

I feel a bit cheated to be honest, because I did invest real time and emotional energy into building something. Both of them also had a pattern of short, non-serious relationships behind them, which I chalked up to the dating pool being small where I live but now I’m wondering if there’s something else going on that I keep missing.

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Lesbians In Cars

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I’m going to try and keep this super brief.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half. We moved in together after 4, spent 3 months long distance and now just moved in together again. In typical lesbian fashion at the start of our relationship we had alot of “action” for the first 6 months. But now every time I ask she tells me no (which is ok and she’s allowed to do at anytime!!) I think it’s been almost 4 months since we have done anything besides make out, and we just moved in together after being long distance and have made out like twice. I am her first girl and first relationship (only situationships with men in the past) Which obviously makes me feel insecure because I feel like she’s not “as gay” as me and I’m worried she’s going to leave me for a man. The main issue is obviously I’m super attracted to her and want to have sex all the time but she always tells me no. We go out drinking and the whole night she will tell me that she wants to and then we get home and she tells me no. I’m all about consent and I know she is 100% allowed to take it away at anytime and I never have an expectation, the last thing I want to act like is a creepy man. I am always respectful and we just cuddle and go to bed. But in the least asshole way possible I have NEEDS and it’s getting really hard for me to just go without sex. We are usually very good at communicating and have had very few disagreements in our relationship but whenever I bring up this issue she gets extremely upset and shuts down and tells me she just has no libido and that I have no right to expect anything, which I know is true. I just am at a loss because I am so in love with her and want to marry her but I can’t go my whole life without sex.

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Won a comedy competition last night, this was my fit

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I’m 23F and I told my mom I was gay during the last day of our vacation together. I’m so proud of myself because I truly believed for a long time I would die in the closet. That’s all.

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let me be pretty for u<3

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Yall ever look back at some shit you did like, wait, why did I ever think I was straight?

Not sure what opened this vault in my memories, but there was this girl I used to sext on Snapchat back in high school. We didn’t even know each other in person and I honestly don't remember how we got to the point of exchanging nudes. But I remember not feeling scared just super relaxed and excited, and I was truly so in awe of her beauty.

Mind you, I’d never had any other sexual encounters besides this, and I never told anyone. We only ever did it randomly and didn’t talk much otherwise, but she said she understood what I meant about being relaxed by it all. Eventually we just fizzled out and I deleted Snap, but yeah... that was gay as fuck.

Like, huh?? I was so gay that everyone but me probably knew, just because it felt so completely normal to me at the time. Does that make sense?

(pls forgive me I’m ranting and a lil faded lol)

Here are some replies:

KoolKarla69: Personally, I kinda just had a hunch that I liked the same gender ever since I developed my conscience. I just didn’t know the word for it until middle school.

Mustsurvivecapitlism: Nothing overtly gay but just LOOKING at a picture of me and how I dressed makes me question why no one ever said anything 🤣😂. I think i got away with it because i was one of the smallest kids in my grade. Tiny tomboy.

Sillysnailfriend: Yep! I was clearly very into women from a young age (like thirst watching Xena: Warrior Princess), but was super convinced I was straight until college. In HS I hung out with all the other queer kids, who were often like, "hey, are you sure?" Lmao.

DragonflyOk7422: Same. Except I was hooking up with my best friend and in deep denial about it.

Mentally_ill_ofc: i reflect all the time. i keep a little note in my phone of everything i remember and i just laugh at myself

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I was making out with someone at a LESBIAN bar last night as one does and when I pull away I see a man behind me looking at me with a disgusted face and he was saying “ewww” and “that’s weird”

dude. if you didn’t wanna see gay shit why would you be at a gay bar???? make it make sense

Some replies that stood out:

LongjumpingMethod869: Man walks into a bakery and gets utterly disgusted when he sees bread.

AchingAmy: Men shouldn't even be there and he has to gall to pass judgment on a lesbian couple doing lesbian things in a lesbian bar

Salithia: Next up local man losses his mind over the fact that lesbians exist and aren’t for him

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Hi all! I'm 43, still married (non-monogs) to my husband of 18yrs, and been dating my girlfriend for less than two months.

Without writing a whole novel, suffice it to say I think she's the most incredible human on this earth. And I can't stop thinking about her. When we aren't together, all I want is to hold her hand. I check my phone constantly, I re-read old texts. Yesterday I wrote a poem; today I cried because she's just so great.

Anyone else on this level?? Lol please commiserate with me!

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I am relatively new to the genre, having just read a lot of omegaverse stories on Wattpad. Now I am looking for GxG omegaverse recommendations on AO3 or FanFiction.net.

Preferably stories that are finished.

Gxg stories or with more women. So things like gxgxgxg are fine; no male characters.

Preferably a bit on the darker side, with the omega not interested in a mate, and the alpha not accepting this. Preferably, in the end, they do end up together, willingly or not.

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This is probably a greatly recurring topic, but it is for a reason. I am so tired. I’m tired of constantly having to push people away out of fear, I’m tired of the constant unrequited feelings, I’m tired of having long days and no one to see. I’m in a part of my life where I have time to reflect mistakes in my social life, and I’m also in the state of accepting that I may be pretty autistic as well, it feels a bit overwhelming. I am rebellious in nature too. I’m so lonely and I even hide the fact I am lesbian to some people just because I fear they will see/ treat me differently. I do tend to avoid consuming lesbian media to not trigger yearning. It feels like I’m on a different planet from many people on so many levels. I read books and have no one to tell them about. I have favorite games and music. The irony of it all, is that I may be considered attractive. I get frequent attention ,(though unwanted),for my looks and how I present myself. (With the social anxiety I have it’s already a lot to dress and act differently from the rest, this also feels overwhelming.). It feels like people make assumptions of my character before they even speak to me. And so, they don’t speak to me. And if some of them do, my weirdness throws some people off. I grew up ugly and alone, then suddenly I’m considered attractive. It is quite an objectifying way to experience adulthood. finding a glimpse for anyone who I may be interested in is such a rarity. This shame creates a loop. And it’s not just of my sexuality, but my special interests and other aspects of socialization as well. It makes me wonder if there are other people on this earth who may relate to some of my experiences.

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As I begin preparing myself to re-enter the dating world I'm wondering:

How do you feel about a potential partner not having parents?

Sometimes I feel insecure that I don't have parents, like it might considered a negative against me.

I never met my dad and have been no contact with my mom for a couple years now because of childhood abuse I experienced and much more.

I feel like the queer community should be pretty understanding about difficult family dynamics. That being said, everyone I've ever dated had very strong ties to their families - even if maybe no contact would have been healthier in some cases.

What is the general opinion, or YOUR feelings towards, a potential partner having strained or zero ties to their parents?

Highlights from the comments:

WhistlesAtNight: I feel like it's really common for people in the queer community to not have contact with their parents. I know I don't allow mine anywhere near my life. I wouldn't even think twice about someone not having parents, the family we would make would start with me and my theoretical girl, anew and divorced from the past.

Cestrel8Feather: Is that something people consider? I mean they're gonna date you and not your parents, and you aren't teenagers. I don't think it should matter at all.

Cherrylalaxo: I think unfortunately this is common in many queer communities. My dad passed 6 years ago and I have no contact to my mum. What’s more important to me in a partner is that they do have long term relationships in their lives. Friends, chosen family, etc. I think it’s important to have people around us who hold us accountable and are in deep and long lasting relationships with us, regardless of traditional family ties.

Yugonosha: It would be a plus for me honestly. I disconnected from most of my family due to abuse and I'm tired of having to get a girlfriend's entire family as a "package deal" and dealing with shit from them

FoxyDepression: I never would have even considered it important

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Beware of this account

I'm pretty sure this is a male lurker, pretending to be a woman. They dm'd me and the conversation turned sexual very quickly. Then the photos they sent me were from some random woman's thread account.

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y'all. it was so good. the dream was excruciatingly vivid and i could feel every sensation. i could feel the spit and our lips sliding and her knee slotting in between my legs.

and then i WOKE UP. RIGHT AS THINGS WERE ABOUT TO ESCALATE. BECAUSE MY GODDAMN NEIGHBORS WERE DRILLING INTO THE UNIT RIGHT ABOVE MY BEDROOM.

then i went back to sleep and the dream continued except this time she pulled away and then i got in trouble with my dream parents for kissing a girl. ugh.

now that I'm properly awake I feel so DEPRIVED. like there's this integral visceral need to make out with a girl and it's KIIIIIIILLING me. I haven't been with a girl romantically or sexually ever since breaking up with my ex in March (only dudes) so maybe this is a sign?

A few notable replies:

Alternative_Edge_205: So relatable

Valkyrie-sylv: Damn. My dreams suck. DO BETTER, BRAIN!

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I was talking to my girlfriend and she told me I come very often just from vaginal stimulation. I thought I didnt, but then I looked up the fact that different orgasms often feel different.

To me, clit one is more strong and intense, like an electric shock, while the vaginal one is like walls pulsating, longer and slow and less intense. Am I making this up?

I hope this is the right subreddit first of all, but I wanted to ask about other peoples experiences too? I'm curious on if this difference if a thing for real

What people had to say on Reddit:

Puzzleheaded-Arm6074: Yes, they do feel different. Though there were times I can’t know which is which lol

Sympatheticganglia: Physiologically, the rhythmic pelvic muscle contractions that happen during orgasm are generally similar whether the main stim is clitoral or vaginal. But many ppl do report that the sensations feel different, likely because the clitoris has very dense localized sensory nerves, whereas nerves from the vagina tends to be more diffuse and spread out anatomically. So… its common for ppl to describe clitoral stimulation as more surface-level and vaginal stimulation as deeper or more spread out. Of course the internal anatomy and shapes are very different between people (super cool!) so there are of course differences. Also… Some people might describe them as similar or the same, and we think one reason could be that the clitoris is much larger than what we see -it has internal “legs” that wraps around the vagina. So vaginal stimulation can indirectly stimulate parts of the clitorus too, which is why medically we can’t say there is a purely “clitoral” versus purely “vaginal” orgasm!

Canary-King: They do feel different. I’ve only vaginally orgasmed once but when I orgasm from my clit I feel like my clit is throbbing with pleasure, as well as the pulsating sensations you mentioned. When I came vaginally it was like that throbbing came from inside me rather than my clit.

Comfortable_Oil_4691: Both, how about both.

Bruinsfan3725: I’ve not experienced either since surgery but this is exactly how I’ve had all my partners describe it. Also preop that’s how I’d describe my orgasms, very quick but very strong.

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I have to admit, one thing that determines my type is someone's voice. If you have an attractive voice best believe I'll be heard over heels.

It's not the ONLY thing, but it is a nice cherry on top of everything (an extremely nice and big and juicy cherry).

I tend to like raspy voices that are still feminine (??) or an accent omgg...

Anyways, am I the only one who likes voices like this? I'm not even sure what to call myself.

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Does anyone have any angsty, hurt/comfort sapphic books to recommend? I just want to really feel for the protagonist and everything they go through!

It doesn’t have to be specifically romance, but it’d be nice if there’s a main love interest for the protagonist.

Some standout replies:

Prestigious_Jello366: Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid had me sobbing half the book. The Wilds & Weeds by Ally North had be feeling and crying for the main character almost the entire book.

The_allamagoosalum: I know it’s controversial on this sub but Gideon the Ninth packs major emotional punches, same with the rest of the series. I cried harder for the two mains than I have in a long time. Warning, there is limited to no comfort in the first book. It’s more yearning with some not so quiet subtext (kind of like how a forbidden/ill-fated romance is handled in a lot of classic literature) rather than modern romance where the characters explicitly confess their love and then are happily together.

No_Seaweed_1729: And Then I Met You by Erica Lee should do the trick. from the blurb: Anyway, my moment came at freshman orientation when the girl who would eventually become my everything stood up during introductions and proudly announced, “My name is Willow Stone, and I’m going to die on December 27th, 2019.”

Agreeable_Issue6323: 6 Times We Almost Kissed (and One Time We Did) made me ugly cry.

Yellow_quartz: It's not a standard issue romance but Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield had me crying my eyes out multiple times. It's one of my top 5 favorite books of all time I second Sunburn by Chloe Michelle Howarth and her other book, Heap Earth Upon It. Again not a romance but it broke my heart. One I read recently that I think a lot of people are sleeping on is Nymph by Sofia Montrone. Again not really a romance but it deals with a lot of sad themes and there is a lesbian relationship going on while all the sad stuff is also happening.

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