The Ghost Writer

eyes

and honey sweet

voice

should not be able

to control me

quite like they do

o.m.f // yet here we are

“my love, if loving you is what pain feels like, i suppose that makes me a masochist”

Look what the cats dragged in! It’s lil ole me. Hello again old friends. It’s been quite some time since I have logged on here. I honestly have not written much in years and so have left this account to die. But lately i have wanted more and more to begin writing again. I’m not sure what i will be writing. I have some fun stories to share, poetry I want to write, and some short stories. So perhaps you can consider me back.

As an update - I am in my last year of college and still pretty busy. But my overall mental health has seen such a great improvement that i feel like writing will be a great way for me to share my experience and help me continue to heal. Additionally, thank you so much for 5.8k following! I am not sure where I left this account honestly, but coming back to such a large following and people still interacting even a month ago was super surprising, but super appreciated!! I hope that people can still enjoy my old writing and will continue to like whatever I end up producing in this new era of my writing. As I make this comeback, i will also start signing my writing with my pen name ‘Ghost’ rather than my initials. Not sure why yet, but this is something that feels right for me.

Lastly, as always on this account, I am here for friends and answering any questions! My inbox and messages are always open and I do my best to answer everything I can, so please do not hesitate as I make my little comeback to this app.

I’ll be honest with you and everyone who has followed me, I have not. Last year, when I was writing, it felt as if it dragged my emotions down. I wrote poems charged with sadness and my negative thoughts. They swirled in my head daily at increasing rates because I used them to give myself inspiration. I used them to keep my writing going. If I was happy, I felt like the art produced wasn't as well received or anything that I liked. I would purposely make myself swim in horrible emotions so that I could make something I was proud of. But it hurt me more and more to write, so I ended up leaving. I decided I needed the break and I have been using it to develop myself and how I look at, treat and react to my emotions. Recently, I have made incredible strides it feels like. I haven't written in so long now, though. I am terrified of coming back because I do not know if new writing will be well received. But I miss it and have so many ideas, maybe I will be around soon. I’m sorry for making the answer so long and dragged out, but I thought an explanation might be nice, maybe I will get some good advice on how to come back to something I enjoy so dearly.

thank you bro !

Putting work out into the world is terrifying. As writers, we work so hard and put so much effort and love into what we create and all we really want is for it to be appreciated and loved back. At least, thats how I feel and find others feel as well. I, too, am scared. Im scared of people reading it, not liking my work, etc. These fears stop me from writing, posting and trying to put myself out there to achieve my dreams of writing. Tumblr for me, even though I am letting others read my work, is like a mask. No one knows who I am really and no one I know is reading my work and seeing it as me. There is a separation that keeps me safe from judgement. But sometimes you really just need to break that divide. The best advice I can give is to break it. Push yourself forward and work hard. Someone will read your writing. Even if its just a friend or a family member, someone will read and tell you what they love, and if you're lucky, what you can do to make more people notice your writing and passion. As far as roadblocks, get yourself in the mood. Read works by people who inspire you. Listen to music that makes your emotions go. Get your mind flowing in the best ways you can and keep working. Keep writing. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. I hope you can put your writing out there and get past your roadblocks and one day achieve your dreams. I believe in you and am always here to help.

keeping us apart

now,

won’t it

forever?

Hey guys! Honestly, lately ive been completely unmotivated. I keep meaning to write or at least put together something to post, but I never seem able to get to it or get myself to do it. Im in a pretty nasty time if im honest and usually I can use it to channel creativity to write, but right now its too much. I hope to have more poems coming soon and I hope to actually finish writing the short stories ive all started. If anyone has any advice for getting out of a major funk, my messages, comments and asks are all open!

that far?

fifty.

forty.

not even thirty.

married with kids.

doesn’t seem real.

even now my plans

are not the 

ones I made in advance.

instead ones

made on the spot

because

i didn’t think

i’d make it this long.

its not a good look on you.

unreciprocated love

crushes my chest

and I can’t breathe.

but the very thought

of the possibility

one day

i’ll have my hands

wrapped in your hair

and your legs

tangled with mine

makes it worth it.

and she

is the moth

o.m.f // moth wife

how the people

meant to

care the most

can drag you

to your

lowest.

and i’ll write

just for you.