ACOTAR SERIES OBSESSION

Rhysand:

Feyre:

Cassian:

Nesta:

Elain:

Azriel:

Morrigan:

Amren:

Rhysand: *enters the room to see Cassian and Azriel sitting across from each other in silence*

Rhysand: Are you two having a staring contest?

Cassian, not breaking eye contact with Azriel: I think so? Azriel never said anything but I never back down from a challenge.

Azriel, blinking and finally breaking eye contact: Oh. Sorry, I dissociated for a moment there, what do you need?

Cassian:

Rhysand:

Cassian: ……Does this mean that I won?

Rhysand: 1. Don’t talk about Feyre like she is an object.

Rhysand: 2. She wanted to leave. She asked for help to leave.

Rhysand: 3. Don’t think that it didn’t hurt me to interrupt the wedding.

Tamlin: *huffs* You being upset doesn’t count as being hurt.

Rhysand: You misunderstand, I meant physical pain.

Tamlin:

Rhysand:

Tamlin: ?

Feyre: So your abilities give you the ultimate degree of stealth, right?

Azriel: Yes…………where are you going with this?

Feyre: I was just wondering if you have ever used them for fun stuff, like pranks.

Azriel, grinning like a fiend: Oh, absolutely. I still occasionally use them to tie Cassian’s boot laces together when he isn’t paying attention.

Feyre: So THAT’s why he fell the other day after dinner!

Nesta: That is EXACTLY what will be happening, or I will tie you to the bedframe to keep you there.

Cassian: Don’t threaten me with a good time.

Nesta: Fine. I will have AZRIEL tie you instead.

Cassian: …………still a good time.

Nesta: YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE. Is there ANYONE in this court you don’t have a flirtatious dynamic with?

Cassian:

Nesta:

Cassian:

Nesta: I will have Amren tie——

Rhysand, externally:

Rhysand, internally:

Feyre: Rhys, we have a problem.

Rhysand: With what?

Feyre: Remember how we put child-proof locks on all the cabinets and doors?

Rhysand: Yes.

Feyre: Well, now Cassian is complaining that he can’t open our cabinets.

Rhysand: I fail to see how that is a problem. In fact, I’d call that an improvement.

SJM: The ACOTAR series is going to be a fairy-tale retelling about faeries, war, and overcoming trauma.

Publisher: LOVE IT. Anything else?

SJM: Yeah, I’ll do several sequel books about side characters that will still include battles and magic.

Publisher: PERFECT! Sounds like a plan.

SJM: WAIT! In the middle, I want to post a short novella story.

Publisher: Oh cool, like a post-war transition into the sequel books?

SJM: No. Like bunch of cutesy christmas romance short stories. Just for funsies.

Publisher:

Publisher:

Feyre: What’s your religion?

The Suriel:

The Suriel: Tea time. All the time.

Azriel: Careful. Those are fighting words.

Tamlin: Oh yeah? Fight me then.

Azriel: No. I’m a pacifist.

Tamlin: What does that even mean?

Azriel: It means I will pass a fist through your face.

Feyre: Everyone keeps telling me you have the “gift of truth” but what does mean? Do you never lie or something?

Morrigan: No; my bullshit detector is just better than other people’s.

Feyre: In a magical way?

Morrigan: Nope. I’m just good at calling people out on their B.S.

Feyre: ……………?

Morrigan: Yeah I’ll be like “That’s super sus” when someone’s acting up.

————————————————————

Also Rhysand: I will conclude this meeting by saying………the floor is lava.

~everyone in the room freezes~

Cassian: *scrambling* SHIT

Feyre: *jumping on Rhysand’s back* STOP DOING THIS

Morrigan: *hopping on a table* NOT AGAIN

Rhysand: I think you can handle chastising him on your own.

Nesta: But who is going to handle reprimanding Feyre when she gets bailed out too?

Rhysand:

Rhysand:

Lucien: *peels off a piece of paper in front of the word “rejection” so it now says “mate rejection”

Elain: A mate.

Feyre: Cassian, do you own anything besides Illyrian fighting leathers? I’ve never seen you wear anything else.

Cassian: *scoffs* I am a war general; Of course I only wear leather.

Nesta: That’s not true. He wears silk pajamas at home.

Cassian: I WOULD NEVER.

Nesta: He adores how soft they are.

Cassian: LIES. ALL OF IT LIES.

Azriel: I can also confirm he wears silk clothes frequently.

Feyre:

Cassian: