like a marble statue

kylo ren:  2/10     ( if you do it’ll be by accident.  he’s gonna be a real ass about it too.  do not try and do a meet cute because he  will  rip the mistletoe away and he  will  be rude about it.  however,  if you accidentally meet him under the mistletoe at the right time,  and you’re all alone,  get ready for that man to either  a)  kiss you so sweet and soft,  or  b)  pin you to a wall and kiss you speechless. )

clyde logan:  7/10   ( wants to catch you under the mistletoe,  but is also pretty shy about it.  will consent to cheek kisses if people are around.  blushes hard.  he’ll shake his head and smile at you if you connive to get him.  you won’t think he’d return the favour,  but maybe there’s a sprig where you don’t expect,  or a decided structure to clyde meeting you somewhere.  his full kiss will be soft,  and gentle,  and warm. )

flip zimmerman:  7/10   ( rolls his eyes at mistletoe shenanigans,  and pretends he’s above it all,  but if you’re under a sprig,  he’ll be on his feet fast as lightning.  lots of deep kisses.  if there’s a crowd,  he might dip you dramatically and kiss you stupid.  expect a smirk and a wink. )

father garupe:   1/10   ( he’ll lecture you about pagan traditions every time he sees mistletoe.  do not attempt.  he’ll think about kissing you,  though. )

philip altman:  10/10   ( can and will kiss you under every sprig of mistletoe.  very cocky about it.  doesn’t see it as a tradition so much as a chance to sweep you off your feet a bit.  puts on a show.  grabs your ass. )

paul sevier:  6/10   ( gets nervous about kissing you in public,  but he’ll lean over to kiss your cheek,  and the smile on his face is both warm,  and  very  inviting. )

ben solo:  6/10   ( listen,  he’s going thru some things.  dealing with some stuff.  daddy problems.  will not take the hint,  or will ignore the hint.  you gotta let him come to you,  and let him whisper in your ear everything he wants to do to you after he kisses you. )

paterson:  7/10   ( good natured about it.  will give you a peck or cheek kiss in public.  likes to kiss you at home and then slow dance with you in the light of the christmas tree.  loses points only because he thinks he doesn’t need an excuse to love you. )

adam sackler:  7/10   ( cannot make up his mind on it.  has insisted it’s a dumb weird tradition most of his life,  will also grind up against you while you kiss if you two are the ones under the mistletoe.  loses points because you can’t fuck in public adam. )

matt the radar technician:  5/10   ( can’t handle the pressure.  way too nervous,  overthinks it,  or yells at everyone watching.  better when you’re alone,  but he still kind of nervous babbles.  it’s okay baby take ur time. )

jude:  7/10   ( indulges you on it.  thinks it’s kind of a silly tradition,  but he goes with the flow. )

parnassus:  3/10   ( he will not stop at a kiss,  and by court order,  you aren’t allowed in the mall together anymore. )

pale:  8/10   ( that man will kiss you like you’re lovers being separated by time,  space,  and fate.  he’ll also ruin the moment with a quip.  sometimes you just wanna enjoy the moment. )

toby:  4/10   ( we’re gonna have to face facts here.  toby is a good kisser.  a  great  kisser.  toby knows how to get you around town and back.  toby is also a giant sleaze and you might be wiping grease off your lips.  worth it?  perhaps. )

charlie:  9/10   ( i hate the d*ddy kink so much but that man exudes Dad Energy,  and he’d kiss you like he wants another kid.  loses points because the divorce after doesn’t seem fun. )

okay so true story i could have SWORN i made that title after a quote about adam,  but after thirty minutes looking for it i’m pretty sure i hallucinated the quote and now i’m not entirely sure where i was going with this but honestly?  truly?  someone sculpted that man.  someone went in with a chisel and carved him out of marble and god himself came down and kissed his brow and sent him out to ruin our lives like

i didn’t want to make more posts about myself,  but a couple of people have messaged me inquiring to my well-being re:  the corona virus,  and i figured it would be better to do a whole post  (sorry again.)  

i’m currently stuck in italy,  as we’ve gone into total lockdown.  the town i live in hasn’t been too badly hit,  but all work has been cancelled,  travel is highly restricted,  and i actually haven’t left my apartment in over a week.  my family back in ontario is also doing okay,  although we’re stressed on all sides over this.

one thing i want to say is that  no one  in italy practiced social distancing       people  still  aren’t getting the hint that spending time apart and avoiding crowds and large gatherings is important.  the death rate in italy has now surpassed that of china,  and hospitals are absolutely filled to capacity.  

please,  please  practice social distancing.  please wash your hands and avoid crowds and going out unnecessarily.  please stay home if you can.  please have the utmost respect and admiration for the retail and food workers who still have to go in,  grocery store clerks,  doctors and nurses,  waste disposal workers,  and small business owners who cannot afford to shut down.  please do not let fear and panic compel you to use racist terminology and racist rhetoric       this is not the  “chinese virus,”  chinese people are not responsible for this,  i could make a  strong  argument that italy is who fucked us all over but that’s for another time.  please be smart and safe.

for the time being,  aclamclriver is still on hiatus,  but i’ll be checking in regularly if any of you need to talk or vent.  i’d love it if you replied to this with pictures of your pets,  crafts you’re doing,  baking you’re working on,  anything you’re focused on to get us through the next little while!  and of course,  @driverficarchive  is your one-stop shop for all your adam driver fic needs.

stay safe and healthy out there,  everyone.  lots of love always!

hi everyone.  this is a post i never planned to make,  because it feels a little bit self indulgent.  when i first took a hiatus from this blog,  i wasn’t sure when exactly i would come back.  i didn’t really have a time frame for bouncing back and forth.  i think a part of me knew i wouldn’t come back right away,  but three months passed,  and then six.  lots of you reached out to send me well-wishes.  many more expressed hope that i was alright.  i didn’t know right away,  because i couldn’t really bear to check.

i feel i owe it to all of you who wished me well and sent me kind messages why i disappeared.  and the truth is,  i disappeared because i was,  and am,  horrifically,  terribly depressed.  i fought it as hard as i could.  i posted fics and drabbles and talked with so many of you and pretended i was perfectly fine.  i was in a new place,  with a new job,  and i assumed that maybe it was just homesickness blues.  but it wasn’t.  i got worse.  and worse.  and finally,  i couldn’t even open this blog anymore without feeling like a liar and a fraud.

i planned to come back.  i thought that once the fog had cleared a little,  i’d come back.  but the months kept passing,  and i just couldn’t do it.  and then i felt like i  shouldn’t.  i couldn’t come back until i knew 100% that i was getting better.  that i was okay.  that things would work out.  and then i couldn’t do it because i was ashamed of myself.

i wasn’t planning on making this message,  and i’m a little scared about leaving it up.  i might delete it later.  i know it’s pretty far out of the norm for the usual fare up here.  i can’t deny many of you won’t want to see this.  but i feel like i owe an apology for not answering,  for letting so many of you worry       and that any of you worried at all really surprised me.  and i feel like i owe it,  too,  to the people who messaged me saying that this blog made them feel better when they themselves were feeling down.  i’m sorry for taking that away.

i hope that the next time i log in here,  i’ll be in a better place,  but i just don’t know.  maybe someday.  right now,  i’m just trying to make it through each day.  i’m not doing well.  i’m really not.  but i’m still here,  in one way or another.

thank you all for sticking with me.  i send all my love and well wishes to you.  take care of each other.  fingers crossed for a better 2020.