You have an admirable amount of courage and self-awareness that others around you, including adults, could never have. Regardless if you are out to people around you, a small amount of people, or no one at all, you know yourself better than anyone else, even when you have confusing feelings about yourself or relationships with others.
The most important thing that you will ever do is allowing yourself to live the happiest, most authentic life that you can make. You will face unique challenges, many of them unfair and unforgiving to you. But please do not let those challenges teach you to be unfair and unforgiving to yourself.
If you are in a situation where it is unsafe to be fully yourself,
I'm sorry.
You do not deserve it.
You deserve the grace it takes to grow into your most authentic self as any other person. You deserve to not live in danger of risking the quality of your life for being honest about who you are. You deserve a family and community who unapologetically celebrates you. You deserve a support system who enjoys listening to what it's like to be trans and all the other things that you like.
Do not ever apologize for being trans, nonbinary, gender diverse, or gender nonconforming, or however you may describe yourself as in relation to your gender, or lack thereof. Individuality is a beautiful and valuable thing. That doesn't mean you're "choosing" to be different for attention; it means that you are committed to live honest with yourself.
Cut and style your hair in a way that excites you or makes you feel confident. Try on different clothes from the other gender aisle, even if you don't plan to buy them. Try out different names if you feel like your name doesn't suit you well. You're allowed to try out different names or ask to be called a nickname. I tried out several until I landed on my name, and I even changed one letter 3 years into using that name. A week before I legally changed my name, I slightly changed from middle name from Taylor to Tyler, and I'm still happy I did.
Do your very best to be kind to your body. The world we live in teaches us to be hyper-aware and self-conscious on our physical imperfections, and many people will use that kind of logic to try to discourage you from being at peace at what your body looks like or does. Please do not despise your body for growing in the way that makes the most sense for it if you are unable to access hormonal gender affirming care. Please listen to when your body hurts and give your body plenty of breaks. You are still who truly you are regardless of what you physically look like or what you think you might look like. You deserve to be acknowledged and respected for the gender you are, and for how you present it.
Thank you for being you. You enrich our lives.
Happy Trans Day of Visibility.
(This is written as if I was talking to my teen self and the other trans teens I knew at the time. My inbox is open to all if you are seeking emotional support. You are not alone.)
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