Cass [they/them]

The Wheel of Time just brutally killed Siuan Sanche, a black gay character who does not die at that point in the books, to provide gay angst for her white partner, who isn't her current lover in the books, before her arc actually starts.

Others have explained far better than me why this is profoundly tone-deaf, especially at the end of a season that started with the death of a black gay character for the sake of another white man's pain and continued with the deaths of other black characters. Repeating why this sucks won't change the mind of those who don't see the pattern: there will always be an intra- or extradiegetic explanation to justify the writers' choice. 

Beside the brutality and resonance of her death, this indicates changes in future plotlines that I also cannot follow: it affects Egwene's arc a great deal, it will have an impact on Nynaeve's arc and it completely rewrites what makes Moiraine's character so compelling to me. By saying that Siuan's arc post-coup isn't that interesting they tell us that a story centered on a character who lost everything but still found ways to fight for the light is not worth telling. 

What I hear is that Rand's arc, Egwene's, Mat's and certainly Moiraine's will be profoundly different from what they could have been. At this point and with the evidence they've shown I don't trust them anymore to deal seriously with the question of mental health for these characters.

That decision signals that the themes and characters that were dear to me have been declared not worthy of screentime. 

For that only I would have lost interest in the show, which isn't the end of the world as there are plenty of shows that don't hold my interest. The real stinger for me is that Rafe Judkins went on queer media like podcasts and magazines to profess his love for the relationship and still made that decision.

These characters weren't together during the main storyline which means the writers purposely made them the love of each other's life in order for Siuan's death (also not in the books there) to hurt more. It was planned from the start. 

This feels unnecessarily cruel and in complete contradiction with the kind of storytelling that I enjoy and stand for. I liked Wheel of Time because it was the Wheel of Time and not GoT. To an extent I feel like a fool for falling into the trap set by promotion: the show had never any intention of delivering the content they themselves were promoting. 

I remember a time when we had one glimpse of a kiss as the trailer for s2 came out and the Siuaraine fandom was so beautifully creative and hopeful. At the time, we were still thinking that we wouldn't get any Siuan and Moiraine this season. We didn't think they were important enough, as a couple, as individuals since Siuan's presence was not a guarantee. And we got that glimpse of happiness. The days, weeks following were some of the most joyful moments I experienced in fandom. I will always cherish the theorizing, the art, the gifs produced in that timeframe. 

It was also a time when some parts of the fandom were also goading us that they weren't main characters and we should enjoy them before they got killed. These fans had been doing that for a long time. 

But the show had our backs, right? They told us, right?

It seems we were right to think as we did after s1 that Siuan's story was never worthy of being told: Rafe confirmed that from the start the character was not meant to live. 

Now, if you only see Siuan as an extension of Moiraine then of course perhaps cutting her off here is logical. But if you see Siuan as she is in the books, the woman who lost everything and survived out of spite alone, the mentor to Egwene who was the perfect mirror to the Moiraine and Rand mentorship, the deft politician stripped of status who artfully manœuvred the Hall when she was less than dirt to them, the strongest woman that Egwene has met, then what the show did to Siuan's character is purely assassination before her story even started.  And that's not even touching on how much they changed her character to fit her into this tragic dead lesbian love story.

It was never about the relationship. It was about telling Siuan's story, of which Moiraine was only a small part. Now we will never get Siuan's story about resilience and surviving out of sheer spite. We might get a tearful reunion in another life at the end of the story, after Moiraine also died, because the most exquisite a lesbian can be to a storyteller is dead. 

I often find that insurmountable an obstacle. Others don't even notice it. 

At the end of the day, yes, the heart of the cutting is only a question of prioritizing certain characters over others for writing space. For fans the red line in such a cutting was Loial's death, for others it was Agelmar. 

Adaptational choices. 

But they carry weight; they tip down the scales one way or the other, and the result is not something I'm comfortable supporting or merely enjoying anymore. 

So I won't be engaging with the show: I won't talk about it on socials, promote it and share content about it. I've found that it's the healthiest way to break up from a show that jumped the shark for me.

Siuan and her arc post-coup were incredibly important to me, and the manner in which that story was rejected broke something irreparably in my trust in the show. I won't enjoy it anymore like I used to.

If we chatted together on bsky, discord or Tumblr about the show, I'll be more than happy to continue there, but I cannot in good conscience show open support for the choices the show is making.

I will miss and cherish this community forever because they are a creative and extraordinary bunch, but then such is the life of fandom, especially of queer media. 

I don't wish the show any cancellation. I still believe the cast and crew are doing something special and I hope they can continue to delight those for whom the magic still makes sparks, but that will be without me. 

It isn't the show for me anymore. I don't plan on trashing the show on social media (the fury is reserved to dms and blogging) and in return I ask this one thing of the fandom: not to mock or belittle the reactions like mine or others'. If it annoys or angers you, mute or block the fans and curate your own space.