Pocket Aces

Like if you say you’re bi but you’ve only dated people of the opposite gender? you’re bi as hell i don’t care.

If you tell me you’re trans but you haven’t transitioned yet or don’t want to undergo certain aspects of transitioning? you are trans! I’m gonna call you by the name and pronouns you tell me to use

what if someone looks feminine, is afab, and uses she/her pronouns but identifies as nonbinary? what if someone looks masculine, is amab, and uses he/him pronouns but identifies as nonbinary? both of those people are nonbinary because they said they are!

if you’re asexual or aromantic but you’re still hetero in the sense that you experience attraction of some sort to the opposite gender and that gender alone? you’re still a part of the community babe! Aros and aces have always been queer.

If you don’t know if you’re queer or not? you’re certainly welcome to be a part of our spaces while you figure it out!

if you don’t wanna use labels? dont! that’s it! never let anyone pressure you into labels if you’re not ready to define that part of yourself.

if you use labels/pronouns that are uncommon and/or perceived as strange? that’s your label! those are your pronouns! who am i to tell you you can’t use those words to describe yourself??

There is no single “correct” way to be trans. There is no one “acceptable” way to be trans.

There are as many ways to be trans as there are trans people.

Each person’s pronouns, label(s), identities, clothing and hair preferences, sources of dysphoria and euphoria, and everything else that makes up gender identity is unique to that person. Trans people can’t be trans “incorrectly” because there is no blueprint for transness.

Don’t police or gatekeep our community because you think someone is doing or being “incorrectly.” Examine where that community defensiveness comes from – what norms you are operating on, what assumptions or underlying understandings are informing that image of “correct” transness.

If you are going to be here for straight, white, thin, binary, able-bodied, rich, and passing trans folks, you MUST be here for the rest of us too.

Does anyone feel like it's better described as this

Go and think about what kinds of relationships you want. Don't think about labels like romantic or platonic or sexual, think purely about what relationships would make you happiest.

When I realized I was aromantic, I was asked things like "Would you still date? Would you have a QPR? Will you ever kiss?"

But the aromantic community didn't ask that. Instead, they focused on "What do you want in a world where anything is possible?"

And I realized I want to be alone, surrounded by friends and family I love who are close enough, I can bring them fresh baked scones when I overbake.

They asked me "What do you want?" and the question was so broad, I could weigh labels in my hand like queerplatonic partner and nonpartnering and significant other. I could look at these and shrug and say, "What I want is to not worry about questions I don't care about." I could shelve these indefinitely. Maybe even forever. And just enjoy being myself.

The aromantic community celebrates exploration. Tells people asking if they are aromantic, "This is a personal decision. Your personal decision. If this label helps you, take it. If this community helps you, stay as long as you need. You don't have to be labelled anything, aromantic or otherwise, unless it would bring you comfort. You don't have to be anything you aren't."