sonder.

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              trigger warning: sexual themes

carnage is a greedy man, and he doesn’t hesitate to let his eyes trace and follow from his position above the other. it’s such a power trip, to be in such a stance. he feels as though he has entire control of the situation– and perhaps he does, with ace’s intoxicated state. if carnage were any more respectable, any more humane– he might have done the right thing, like send ace on his way back. perhaps got him into his bed (alone, alone, alone) and asleep. he wouldn’t provoke, take advantage of the situation like he’s prone and wanting to do.

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                   tw: sexual themes

ace is suddenly torn between too drunk for this and not drunk enough.

or at least, that’s his thought process as carnage pretty much eliminates any and all possible space between them. and the angry red haze of his mind has dissipated, not as hateful, but now-- he’s definitely even more on edge than before. he almost thinks the irrational anger better suits him. but he’s staring at carnage now-- the way he is staring at him-- that glint in his eyes that may have been there before but that he’d never noticed. the way he grins at him-- sweet and unassuming, all teeth. but ace knew better. 

and the spite in his own eyes still there but muted, quieter. his mouth is slack, and his throat is suddenly the driest it’s been all night.

zero nearly chokes on his drink when ace asks, nodding his head so fast it probably came across as too eager. but he didnt care, he was up to do anything with the younger male, he’d made that obvious when they’d first agreed to hang out tonight. “yes! lets go.” he smiled towards ace, climbing up out of his seat and taking ace’s hand in his once again.

a playful glare is shot zero’s way-- though his lips tighten into a harmless grimace. he sits up straighter in his stool and puffs out his chest dramatically, “please, hyung... i drink pretty much every day my tolerance is impenetrable--” and he deflates twice as fast at the mention of last time, the tips of his ears quickly tinging pink at the nudge and the words as he clears his throat and looks away, “...okay, we don’t talk about that.”

as if to prove his point, he takes a big gulp and ignores the sting as it slides down his throat-- whiskey’s not his favorite but. ace being ace... at this point he drinks anything. so they sit in steady silence for a bit as he finishes the rest of his glass, and he sets it on the bar and slides it back towards the bartender, licking his lips. he figures he would wait a bit until he drank anymore-- contrary to popular belief he did know his limits, and wasn’t actually trying to drink away all his problems tonight. ( not that it ever worked, but technicalities. )

and ace can’t help the way his face brightens and his usual crooked grin pulls up into more of a genuine smile, more teeth peeking out, and more curl to the edges of his lips. “yeah, let’s go,” he parrots-- and the warmth of zero’s hand in his is comforting. it’s warm and familiar-- and reminds him of his much younger days before even high school-- before everything went left.

he squashes the thoughts down determinedly-- no point dwelling on the past.

so he pulls the older male into the loose throng of dancers, watches the neon lights bounce off of their shirts, the elder’s dark hair, his hands, any exposed skin. and when he finds an empty spot, he turns around to face the other-- blinks a bit as he realizes -- he didn’t really plan this far. and he hasn’t been this close in proximity to zero in a long time ( excluding missions ), and is unused to the way he looks down instead of up at his hyung now.

lucky lays the paint on thick, filling gaps in the yellow until it’s nice and opaque. the pattern is in the shape of a flower, lucky taking care in outlining each individual petal over ace’s heart. he gets caught up in it, tongue poking out of his mouth in focus.

ace keeps his eyes trained on the top of lucky’s head as he works, mixing his paints. but, he doesn’t look away even when lucky happens to glance up at him, meeting his stare evenly until the gaze breaks agains as lucky returns to his work. and although this is an odd, definitely out of the ordinary hangout activity-- it feels innocently domestic.

ace isn’t too sure how he feels about that.

he pushes the thought to the back of his mind. he takes advantage of lucky not starting yet in order to shift and lean back slightly, cushioning a pillow behind his back to make himself more comfortable. he blinks in surprise at the answer, lips parting slightly, going slack as an instinct reaction as an “oh,” slips past his lips. part of it is due to the confession, and the other is due to the cool sensation of the paint touching his skin. “you don’t have to do anything nice for me,” ace laughs, then remembers to hold as still as possible. he didn’t want to mess up the younger’s hard work.

it’s an odd but not unwelcome feeling-- the smooth and oddly gelatinous texture of the paint, and the wait feels as the thick layers start to dry slightly. he finds himself straining to stare down past the bridge of his nose and the top of lucky’s head to see the brush sliding over his (mostly) unmarred skin. stares and laughs silently at the way lucky’s tongue pokes out in concentration like a kid. 

she pauses for a second, hand falling to the counter and crossing with the other as she leans in.  “ so? are you trying to fuck him or not? be straight with me, because i don’t think he knows what he’s asking for.”  the words that she leaves unsaid still hang in the air.

you know he’ll catch feelings.  you know him.

ace just offers her a wry grin-- he doesn’t mean it maliciously. he’s sure that she knows this. more or less-- she’s the closest thing to family that he has now. considering... he doesn’t have any family left, of course. ( and yeah, maybe he’s still bitter. not that it matters. )

he busies himself with heating up hot water and ripping open several bowls of ramen. he leans against the counter, fingers practically digging into the hard surface as he waits for the water to boil. he avoids her gaze at first, but slowly lifts his eyes to meet hers as he wet his lips -- a nervous habit he’s never kicked, apparently.

and she dives right into it, he shouldn’t expect any less from her really, but that still doesn’t mean he’s ready. and even though she sees right through him-- he keeps his face carefully blank. he bites his lip and stands up straighter, groaning softly. “that’s exactly it-- i don’t think he even knows what he’s asking. like...” he finally meets her eyes, “he asked me, right? but then he asked me what it actually was. i didn’t think i should be the one to explain--” he answers honestly, corners of his lips pulling into a slight frown, running a hand through his hair in exasperation.

his lips curl, not menacingly-- a trait of indecision. hesitance. “i’m not,” he says firmly. and it’s true-- “trying to. i’m not,” he mutters, ruffling his hair in slight frustration, but his tone remains ever neutral. and his frowns deepen and for all of his bravado, he stands in bombshell’s kitchen with his shoulders hunched in, looking small and all of like the teenager he was when he was taken. 

“i wouldn’t do that to him.”

plastic bag dangling in her right hand filled with various colors of spray paint bought from the art shop, she started walking, taking a different route on her way towards the bus station passing a particular alleyway that was private enough in order to make her way towards ace, someone who was merely an acquaintance to her yet they got along well enough. she sees him, lifting the bag out in front of her. “i got em’! i figured we could tag absolutely everything. starting with this wall.” she smiles, tossing him a blue colored spray paint can from the bag. gemini had more ideas and painting was just the start of their night, pretty much.

ace doesn’t have to be told twice to get out of the condominium.

he doesn’t have the nicest of demeanors-- but even so, there are people who ignore it just enough, but doesn’t pry too deep, that he can get along with them. so he stands against the brick wall in some seedy back alley of seoul, back resting against the jagged edges, foot propped up against the wall. he’s dressed head to toe in black, as he almost always is, a dark beanie covering his fading cherry red hair. the only sign of him being there at all is the white lollipop stick poking out of his mouth, the candy pressing against the skin of his cheek.

he looks up from where he’s kicking pebbles along the gravel ground-- and he doesn’t really react much to the girl’s exclamation other than to blink at her, and shift his candy from one cheek to the other with a clicking noise. “everything sounds good,” he rumbles, lips tugging up ever so slightly at the corners. he catches the can she throws at him with deft fingers, humming as he shakes it up before spraying it experimentally, drawing a spiral.

“what a gentleman,” he says dryly. he drums the fingers on ace’s side, tapping a rhythm as he hums in thought. “didn’t know you were capable of that, ace.” the teasing tone drips into his words, accentuated by his smile. “or were you trying to find a viable reason to get yourself under me? you know, all you had to do was ask.”

ace can still feel the ghost of the faint sting when carnage sunk his nails into his skin, can hear carnage’s words bumping into each other in his brain-- and he hates how carnage is right. not that he’d ever admit this out loud, of course. and the use of the pet name has ace’s breath catching, heart speeding up traitorously in his chest and that red flush creeping back and he just... scowls.

and he continues to scowl as he looks up at carnage like this, expression slipping from shock into disdain in less than a minute. but he’s just started ( attempting ) to get up when the older male presses in closer, forcing ace back to stay where he is, eyes widening a fraction-- and suddenly he feels just that tiny bit more sober. his lips tug down at the corners, eyes shifting to the side at the flash of movement in his peripherals, catching a glimpse of carnage’s hand on the floor beside his head before he turns his attention back to the male above him.

his scowl just deepens and his mouth opens to snap out another, slightly less slurred, insult and maybe a what the fuck are you doing, but then he feels a warm hand on his waist and his brain goes momentarily blank. and then the other male is settling back more comfortably and ace is just looking at him incredulously. his mouth is idly parted at this point, staring unwaveringly at the elder, body tensing up at the faint taps on his hip.

“there’s a lot of things,” he grits out, lifting himself to prop himself up on his elbows-- their noses practically touching, his voice low and a lot more steady ( a lot more confident ) than he actually feels. and he’s sure it’s the alcohol-- and also most likely the way everything about carnage just irks him, and provokes him, and the elder knows exactly what he’s doing. 

he shifts, eyes flickering down to the hands tightening around his shirt. his tongue sweeps across his lower teeth, eyes averting back to the other. he lets out a thoughtful noise. “hm? alright, what would you like to be called then?” he questions, voice lowering to imitate his, with more of a coy tone rather than irritated. “honey? pretty? or…” his hands slide, slow and skittering across the other’s arms, teeth catching on his lower lip as his smirk twitches. he keeps his touch soft, gentle and light, fingers twisting so the blunt ends of his nails barely trace over the others arms. “...baby?”

the solid grip around his arms, trying to keep him upright, has ace a bit discombobulated. he continues to scowl, mumbling and cursing under his breath as he tries to pull away from the hands with no luck. instead, he uses them to his advantage, letting them hold his body upright. his senses are somewhere between dulled and heightened, varying from jsut one second to the next-- he can almost here the fingers tapping against his skin.

the boy huffs in response, shaking his head rapidly as if trying to get rid of a particularly pesky mosquito. there is buzzing in his head, a fuzziness in his ears, and a sluggishness in his movements as he slurs “hell no,” but not without a hiccup in between. and ace has his eyes practically closed at this point, narrowed into slits as he wets his slightly chapped lips, “i don’t... play hard to get,” he frowns-- not liking this observation one bit. and because of this-- he tugs carnage even closer, maybe in an attempt to look threatening, resulting in their noses almost brushing, ace’s eyes snapping open as if trying to get a good look at the other.

he doesn’t let his gaze waver, holding it steady and strong as his breathing comes a bit heavy, even through his nose. each sentence is ripping apart and piecing itself back together in his head, carnage’s teasing, lilting tone registering about a millisecond late in his intoxicated state. but not late enough to prevent ace’s breath from hitching in his throat at the last pet name, the last taunt. he takes a step forward-- momentarily forgetting the strong grip he still holds on the other’s shirt-- and sends them toppling.

but as expected, situations like this is when a tipsy ace’s senses heighten, and instincts kick in as he pivots, twisting so carnage falls on top of him, the constant shortness of his breath from the alcohol making him breath that much harder as the impact to the ground briefly knocks the wind from his lungs. and he stares up at the other, eyes widened to doe-eyed proportions, mouth parted dumbly in shock, but the only things that comes out is

bombshell swings open the door and looks at ace quizzically, crossing her arms in the threshold.  “ you didn’t answer my texts.” she says drily, even though she knows why.  she has a little bit of respect for the idea he wanted to do this face to face.  “ … come in.”

this is going to be a long night.

ace isn’t often nervous.

or, rather, he suprresses it until he doesn’t believe he’s nervous-- that way everyone is just as clueless as he is. regardless, he carries himself with his head high and expression confident... because that’s just how you survive around here. but there’s the exception here and there of people he knows will call him out on his bullshit, who will see right through his ( usually ) calm demeanor.

bombshell happens to be one of those people.

and he knows how attentive the other is-- how sharp, how observant. sees her gaze linger on his bag of convenience store food. he enters her apartment silently, his lips quirking up just slightly, snorting softly at the accusation. “i was already right outside your doorstep,” he argues. and he sets out his array of ramen bowls and snacks on the counter, hands resting on the countertop and supporting his weight as he leans on it, one hands tapping against the hard surface in anticipation.

“it’s what i was coming to talk to you about anyway,” he states almost conversationally, ripping open one styrofoam bowl as, despite himself, his teeth worry at his lower lip.

“now that you mention it, we did.” he lets his eyes flicker away for a second before the land right back to ace’s face. “well i mean its not surprising really, we’ve been through hell so its only natural time has flown by.” biting his lower lip “but i like it, like that we’ve been together for this long, y’know.”

ace’s hand still tingles from where their fingers were intertwined, and he presses them against the glass as if to cool them down, clear the buzzing in his head that was not even solely related to the alcohol that hadn’t even entered his body yet.

and he finds himself leaning against the counter, fist propped up against the counter, the other hand wrapped around his bottle of hite beer as he presses it against his lips. the corners twitch up at the request, his head nodding in approval at the choice of alcohol. “yeah, you know what, let me get one of those too,” he hums, and with this being the only bar he frequents after the years he’s been here... the knowing look from the bartender has him snorting. 

he hums, gulping down maybe half of his beer before he starts sipping more leisurely, head cocked to the side. and looking at the other man like this-- he can’t believe the universe, for throwing them back together like this in the cruelest of ways. his lips curl a little bit as he nods his head, “funny, huh?” and his smile droops a bit at the somber but true words, and he sits back to take a long swig, humming softly. he glances at zero, expression softening as he leans towards the other almost naturally, staring at him quietly. “yeah. me, too.” and it hovers there on his tongue, a name so familiar yet so foreign that he just has to... swallow it back down. because they’re not the same people as they were. not anymore.

he hums, nodding his head slowly. his smile turns playfully, head shaking as he clicks his tongue at him. “ace,” he says slowly, tutting his tongue at the other. “you kiss your mother with that mouth, boy?” he murmurs, eyeing the male for a long moment, smile turning all the more sly. he chances a glance back, then behind the other, peering for anyone else. he returns his attention to the other once he deems the other alone. “quite a lot of dirty words from such a cute mouth.”

his body sways, ribs and leaden limbs only screaming at him more as carnage tries to force him into an upright position. he eventually manages it with the other’s help ( though he’d never admit it ), standing up to his full height... for all of two seconds before he’s tipping forward again.

this time, he grabs onto the collar of the other man’s shirt with both hands, fingers tightening into his fists as his lips pulls back into a slight sneer. his eyes are lidded, unfocused-- but he visibly shakes his head, vision focusing in and out as he manages to get out, “who’s falling all over you? not me-- that’s for,” he starts to fall again, and plants his feet with determination, fists clenching that much tighter into the gripped fabric, “fucking sure. you... you prick... bastard...”

he’s finally managed to find some sort of balance, head lifting. and he’s slouched over just slightly, but it’s enough so that they’re eye level, ace’s weight threatening to use carnage for support fully. he takes a step forward for leverage, hands unclenching only to slide higher up and sinking back into the fabric, closer to the back of carnage’s neck. he only scowls at the sound of his name rolling off the other’s lips so easily as he sways a bit in his spot, “nah, that’s fuckin’ weird. don’t kiss my mom at all--” he focuses his wavering gaze on the older male, and his body betrays him when the slightest red hue creeps across his already alcohol-flushed cheeks.

OK BUT NOW THAT terrible dad joke has ur attention maybe possibly– i am eevee! this is my original blcktmpl boi– a lil rascal who is v angry at the world. he tries to appear heartless bc that’s how u survive but surprise surprise… he has squishy marshmallow insides with a gummy heart. just. ….reinforced with some steel around it. ANYWHO– his pages are here !! 

profile & background & i have included some more things under the read more!!

all that being said– pls pls pls feel free to come at me or ( like ) this post (or find me on twt at hopipuffs) and i shalt appear in ur msgs !!! ♡ tank u !! - u -