hey

On an average The alcohol will stay for an hour in your system Working its way to be broken down and metabolized The alcohol’s effect on you will wear off As the alcohol leaves your body There are things that won’t Like your demons Or how you’re afraid of messing things up Or how you’re afraid of being not enough. Or how much I care for you and do love you. Love, i’m always going to be in this with you.

i’m wired – tangled bent looped over and over i’m a mess untangle me – lift me up straighten my arms give my threads  its much needed peace help me  please

never stop telling me things- like how we lie beside each other and your lips move as i listen to your adventures dreams fears and we’d laugh and exchange our “i love yous” never stop nor apologize because love i want to be lost in your world- yourself

(073116) Colonel Caleigfornia Puqui Macchiato Almost four months have passed since we (Nikki and I) adopted her. She was almost thrown out by the landlady of the dorm she (along with her mother and siblings) had been staying at. I have an inkling that Macchi secretly has a modeling career, and she's giving me hints about it for she poses and makes me take pictures of her. She's quite the energetic kitty- she jumps on my bookshelf then to my shoulders and then she'd speed away from me, or she'd run about in my room. She's a handful lil tabby cat but she'll be a great one someday.

i’ve long for the day for you to return my love and now that you have i vow to find you in the middle and work this relationship with you in every moment of my breathing life

Her (2013) (061316) i was so used to not being heard nor given more than five minutes of their attention but then i met you you wanted to know every single thing- every single scar on my skin and every single burn on my soul you wanted to hear my voice in every chance you can get you wanted to hear  me laugh and say your name you you you gave me a reason to speak to fight the silence  i have long mastered for i can now speak- tell you everything

Comet (2014) (061116) somehow i just know- you

QUEST- Walang Hanggan (OST, Ang Kwento Nating Dalawa) sa dulo ikaw ay sisilipin sa dulo titingnan kung ikaw ba ay nag-iintay din marahil ikaw ay nakalampas na sa dulo ng ating “dalawa” marahil ikaw ay wala na sa lugar na pwede pang ikaw ay matagpuan sa dulo aking iiwan sa dulo aking isasambitla ang mga katagang “giliw ako sa iyo rito ay maghihintay - gaano man katagal”

i  will find  her (myself) and  be okay

On most days, the only thought that pops in my head is for me to go back to sleep - let the day pass by my fingertips without me realizing it. Eat the hours with my eyes closed, maybe drift some minutes into my dreams, or succumb my thoughts to the reality i’m dreading to face.  On most days, you’d see me with a smile, with so much positive outlook in my life that the word pessimistic is an obsolete word in my dictionary. I was that kind of person that people characterize as one of the /strong/ ones.  I don’t think they realize that I am no longer, that.  To be honest, I am no longer anyone for that matter, I feel like i’m no one. I used to avoid sleep because there are so many things I love to do, I’d trade if off in every circumstance that I can get. I’d take the sleepless days if it means helping someone or just simply talking to them about life and anything under the sun. I’d take a coffee induced evening if it means pouring over books and books that I could get my hands on, sometimes, trying to write something - a poem, a prose, a story, a thought. But I am no longer that.  Somewhere in the middle of this all, I lost myself. I can feel my legs walking but to a direction, I, don’t even know. I’m walking aimlessly and it scares me.  I’m scared, of who I am becoming. I’m scared - terrified even, that i’d now trade everything else with sleep, just so I can get some sense of sanity, because being awake means facing every demons imaginable inside my head.  I’m using sleep as my escape. Maybe sleeping can stop it; for now.