An Accidental Extrovert

thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"

thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up

would you be so kind: fucking do it

best: i have never physically met you

all best: this conversation is over

all my best: i wish you would die

happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox

i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do

i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to

sorry to chase: answer my email

so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email

i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me

please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem

i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it

i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to

i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to

can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to

per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone

great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone

thanks!: i'm not mad at you

thanks!!: please don't be mad at me

thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk

please advise: this might be your fault

kindly advise: this is entirely your fault

mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator

can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email

sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot

I woke up very early Saturday morning to fly to Florida to say goodbye to my grandfather, a big part of me still thinking he would surprise us all, as he always has.

He lit up when my brother and I walked into his room. He told us he loved us and accepted our love, offered us drinks (gesturing to the various liquids on his bedside tray), and carefully studied a picture of his brand new great-granddaughter.

He fell asleep about five minutes later and never quite woke up again. By last night, he was gone.

There is little tragedy in 97 years well lived, but we will all miss him terribly. The inverted triangle at the top of our family tree is now gone, eleven days shy of the anniversary of his son’s death.

Was supposed to be on PTO today. Also worked a solid half-day on last Friday's 'day off.'

Realized on Monday I would not be able to take today off but vowed to work from home to try to catch-up on the 100 things I owe 100 people.

Got a call from one of the two most feared partners I support at 4:45 yesterday, telling me a pitch would need to go out today. Still doubled down on working from home due to weather forecast and stubbornness.

Ventured out into the windy rain this morning only because I needed caffeine and had a Starbucks reward that was expiring today.

Got to Starbucks and realized that the reward actually expired yesterday, but purchased my $6.00 coconut milk latte nonetheless.

On my trudge home, my umbrella flipped inside out and in the battle to contain it, dropped my coffee which exploded immediately.

Threw both the empty cup and umbrella in the nearest trashcan and walked home feeling a lot sadder than I should.

This sums the last few months up pretty well.