UglyBeauty

Some people desire the comforts and conveniences of a connection or relationship without having the awareness needed to understand that there are expectations that come with maintaining a connection of that sort.

You do not have to hold yourself committed to someone who refuses to put in the work on themselves or who refuses to meet you where you stand, but continues to tell you that they "love" you and that you're a good person for them.

A heavily lip-sticked grave

Who episode with Van Gogh,

but like waaaaay more queer.

I once remember looking at a girl, skin soft to the touch, heart so fragile. She had orchids for her eyes and smiled as if no one was looking. She danced in the rain and sang to the rays. She rambled with no care in the world. She would laugh and smile and show kindness and love. I do also remember her, though. She was weak and grey; the sky had taken away the colors from her mouth and the shine from her eyes. She could barely form words with tear-strained cheeks and harmed wrists. She was always on the edge of everything, and when focused, you could see her soul raw in her eyes. She felt vulnerable and relatable.

Well, I still search for the old girl whenever I look in the mirror, but I have a feeling that it's going to take a lot of work and care and love to make her come back and show herself. The worst part is that I don't remember how I lost her.

So till she comes back, I'll learn how to love the one I see now. Maybe she deserves it more than her.