i love to bite and kill

*notices a blue dot on the horizon* ah!!!! me pengy *a bullet passes right through my skull*

if a counter-sniper catches even a WHIFF of her baja blast tittums then all of the blood in their body IMMEDIATELY rushes to their Penas & balls and it stays there. they will drop dead in seconds

Working an office job will truly make you have the wildest enemies, bc why is my nemesis rn a woman I’ve never met and who exclusively haunts me by sending diabolical emails, and also a specific guy who left my company before I even worked here and made the system so fuckass that it ruined procedures for like a year

"dog residue" post means so much to my ocd

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

I've recently had white women in professional contexts tell me that they were quote "hurt" and "gutted" by what amounted to very minor professional faux pas on my part. I remember reading a white woman academic's essay on Jane Eyre that began with recounting her emotional upset upon having Jane Eyre "taken away from her" by postcolonial / anti-racist scholarship. white women's emotions do have currency in personal and professional spaces in selective contexts, i.e. when wielded against people of colour 🤷🏽‍♀️

You know, when I've remarked that a lot of the responses to my posts feel like people are just plucking out keywords they think they recognise based on the shape of them and replying to what they imagine the post says based on that, the possibility never occurred to me that this is actually how many American schools are currently teaching kids to read.

Like, my assumption this whole time has been that when folks go "I misunderstood this post that says [thing] as saying [unrelated thing] because I mistook [word] for [completely different word that happens to start with the same letter]", that was a bit. What do you mean they're teaching kids a reading method that's tailored to produce this exact error?

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive