save the whales

ABSOLUTELY NOT! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLY CUTE

‘That’s a mood’

This is better than interstellar

okay please get married

I gotta hit shawn with my bike

@pattinsonshawn I just screamed 😂😂😂😂

Shawn’s the type to not whisper in your ear, how bad he wants to fuck you when the two of you finally get alone, but instead he gets this look that only you can read and a energy that only you can sense. You’ll be all dressed up, Shawn’s in a nice suit and he can’t keep his hands off of you. Whether he’s rubbing your lower back through your dress and trailing his hand dangerously low, kissing your forehead and temple, putting a piece of hair behind your ear, or just rubbing any parts of your body as his body fiends for you. To others its unnoticeable, it’s just two lovers head over heels for one another, but to you..all you have to do is look his eyes and see how dark the hazel in his irises had become. Only you could read the way his eyebrow twitched, how lightly flushed his face became when you shared eye contact. It’s major energy between you two. Almost telepathic. He doesn’t have to speak a word to you to tell you what it is that is on his mind

Today I was rehearsing with the guitarist from the show I’m doing and I was coughing up a lung bc I’m sick and I was just kidding but I told him he needed to bring me a lemon for me to slice up and put in a cup of tea and so I show up to the show tonight to get ready and he sets down a big ass lemon on my dressing room table and then brings out like 5 boxes of Halloween Oreos and for those of you who pay attention to my posts you know what a big fucking deal that is and so long story short I now have a lemon and more Oreos than I know what to do with

update: tonight he brought me 2 lemons and a bag of cough drops. i’m running out of room in my fruit drawer in the fridge because i have so many damn lemons.

LIFE IS GIVING U LEMONS, MAKE SO LEMONADE !!!!!

okay but it wasn’t life it was a guy named howard

Update: tonight there were 3 lemons

Update: 4 lemons

Another update: I have 10 lemons and a date for Friday night

Omg this is the cutest story 😍

THE TAG ON THE FIRST POST SAID HER ROOMMATE HAD A HUGE thing for him what HAPPENED!!!!

People without glasses are really out here seeing for free

Oh my god I really do have to pay to see what the fuck

A 1 carrot ring

Blocked

this is so fucking relaxing

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS FOR TWO FUCKING YEARS

When you’re too broke to afford a Launchpad

@interceptingwaves

the things nerds do to avoid awkward conversations…

This reminds me of that one story where this guy ran a marathon and whenever someone would try to talk to him, he would run a little faster to avoid small talk conversation with other competitors and ended up winning the marathon

This is amazing

if i don’t end up running down a palace hallway in a flowing couture dress at least once in my life then whats the point

i sleep nude because if someone ever breaks into my house they gotta fight me while im naked and i dare you to try and swing on a nigga when his dick is out

You are grade A guarenteed to get yourself hurt with this mindset? You think I’m afraid to grab a dick and yank it, bruh? You think I won’t get my hands dirty on your dick in order to end you? You got the wrong one, man—and your ass better hope I don’t have a knife.

didn’t think it could get any better, yet here we are