make bad art

JULY 2: 45/850

Hi tumblr, it’s me again, ashamed to admit that I'm unable to pay my rent and it’s reached starting-to-panic levels. If I don’t have the money by the end of July 2nd, I’ll have to flee in the the night because my live-in landlord has threatened to call the police and ICE on me for such crimes as walking onto the back porch at night to look at a meteor shower due to the entire house a DIY panopticon; I do not expect kindness or grace from him, even though I always pay on time.

I've spent the last week contacting churches/shelters but finding someone willing or able to hear me out rather than being told a flat no and redirected to yet another number/website is now even harder than the last time I tried this.

Which is not anyone’s fault so much as proof of how wide the cracks to slip through are. It’s like triage, and someone without kids who is neither too young nor too old and doesn’t have a visibly obvious disability falls below their cutoff line.

I can understand and accept why they triage like this while also disagreeing with the implicit judgment that I’ll be fine. I know I won’t be. I’m isolated, no surviving family in the country, no car,  I’m physically unable to go further than half a mile without my body giving out. The heat in Florida is enough to seriously endanger any healthy adult who doesn’t have access to hydration and shelter, and I’m… yeah, I’m not healthy. Too many complications from PMOS and a heart that works too hard to keep everything going as a default. I can hide being queer and have lived in the US long enough that I don’t immediately trigger overt racism, but I can’t hide my body being janky as hell.

on the 24th of june, a national holiday commemorating the battle of carabobo during the war of independence as well as st. john's day, at around 6pm, venezuela was hit with back-to-back 7.2 and 7.5 magnitude earthquakes.

i thought the bombing of caracas in january 3rd earlier this year was the scariest thing i'd experienced. i take that back. this was the scariest thing i've experienced in my life. and the thing is i wasn't even hurt, my building took little to no damage and my family is fine and accounted for (thank god for that!) but i feel so sick because the damage has been devastating in other parts of the country and i can't stop thinking about the thousands of people who lost their homes, their loved ones and their lives throughout this whole thing, and how the death toll will continue to rise as hospitals are understaffed and rescue teams are underequipped. i'm enraged because we are so underprepared for a disaster like this, because this government doesn't give a fuck about its people and the money that could've gone for disaster prevention and relief was all pocketed by the regime. blood on their hands, if there was even room for any more than they already had.

it's 9am as i type this and i haven't slept at all since yesterday. i felt aftershocks through the night and even right now. some of them might have been my own paranoia and stress from the situation but others were definitely very real.

i'm still trying to process it. this is the biggest natural disaster to hit venezuela in our lifetime.

if you have relatives or you know somebody from venezuela and you can't get ahold of them after the earthquakes, try to see if you can find them in the following sites: (y si eres de venezuela, por favor contribuye con reportes de lo que sepas)

https://desaparecidosterremotovenezuela.com/

https://terremotovenezuela.app

https://sosvenezuela2026.com/

Dile and their mother have been homelessness for some time now. They're in need of funds for food, travel, medical care, and hotel stay. Dile just got of the clinic after being very ill and it would be ideal if they were able to be indoors to recover. Currently, at least $600 would be enough to move things to a more favorable state.

Here is a link to Dile's paypal.

Dile is a friend of a friend. They used to post amazing artworks onto tumblr before their current circumstances. You may remember that I've reblogged their fundraising posts including a gofundme before. Unfortunately, if you know anything about homelessness, it's incredibly hard to get out of once you're in it. Its just not something that is resolved with one instance of aid. Its an ongoing campaign.

Because of ArtFight's recent rule clarification, I've seen discussion on whether tracing your own photos is the same as references them. This is, in my opinion, a matter of semantics. Tracing your own photos IS a method of using them as reference. It is perfectly normal and doesn't hurt anyone. When it comes to self made resources (photos, sculpture, maquettes, 3D sculpts, etc) and resources made explicitly for artists to use (stock photos with appropriate permission, 3D models in CSP, etc), tracing can be ONE step of using them as a reference. It isn't a "crutch", it isn't cheating.

You can also put the photo up next to what you're drawing, and draw from sight. Or trace the photo a few times, then draw it separately. These all have value for different situations for learning, speed, and accuracy, and I recommend trying them ALL.