abitbias

This is my first story in YEARS and also my first ever smut so be gentle but feel free to give criticism or send asks/requests. I’m slow with everything so...we’ll see how that goes. Ps I wrote this on my phone and idk how to tumblr on my phone. How does one tumbl?

Genre: Smut / Crack

Warnings: Masturbation (male receiving) Bad humor

Summary: You must own the bone.

Hi! Can I have a ship with BTS and Monsta X, please? I'm very carefree, open and happy in general. I'm the type to say ok to anything with no regrets. I tend to be easy to read and be able to get over lost/sadness faster than others. Friends say I'm bubbly, funny, approachable and reliable. I'm very forgetful and pretty lazy. Observing people, arts, languages CHOCOLATE and a long nice walk are LOVE❤️ Just no bugs! I get scare easily but horror movies are my fav! Thank you!

BTS

I pair you with Jimin! The two of you sound very much alike in certain ways, and very different in others so I think the balance would be great here. Jimin would love your generally happy and bubbly attitude and would love your positivity. I get the impression that Jimin is generally pretty hard on himself and can easily feel that he isn’t good enough, so your ability to not only cheer him up but constantly make him feel appreciated would be his favorite thing about you. I feel like Jimin would also love feeling like your protector and would want to do whatever he can to keep you safe, so if he has to fend off those damn bugs he will...he might die a bit on the inside but you’re worth the risk.

Monsta X

Hi~. Can I get a ship with BTS and MonstaX please?? I’m honest and always keep my word. Others usually say that I'm polite, feminine, caring, reliable and fun to tease. I can be a dork, unconscious humming song, clueless sometimes, and clumsy... very often. I love sweets (let’s say all kind of food) flowers and ANIMALS. I'm adventurous and love traveling. I prefer walking to driving. I like drawing and enjoy listening to music. I'm also a fan of Horror movies. Thank you❤️ BTS

I pair you with Jungkook! I feel like the two of you would have a lot of adventures. He would love going places and just exploring the world with you. Be it well known landmarks, trails or just wondering around a shop. He would always be up for trying new things and encouraging you to do the same. He would also live to tease you. He would think your quirks were the cutest thing in the world and would always want to poke fun at you for them. However you would always know that any pranks or jokes he makes are his way of showing his love for you. THE TWO OF YOU WILL MAKE BEAUTIFUL MEMES AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Monsta X

I’m putting you with Shownu!

Request: Can I get a Monsta X, BTS and EXO ship, please? I'm a short, green-eyed blonde girl who's always dressed in black. I'm studying International Relations at college and I have a deep love for social issues & human rights. I am also a writer/poet and can speak 3 languages. I can't live without coffee, neither books. My ideal type is someone taller than me, responsible, stable, thoughtful & that can keep a conversation for hours and isn't ashamed of sharing their thoughts. Thanks!🌙💕

BTS: 

I put you with J Hope! So, originally I was thinking you’re very similar to Namjoon and I was tempted to put the two of you together. However! I feel like Hobi would have more of an appreciation for your intelligence and would love to hear your thoughts and opinions. He would be more than happy to just sit back and watch you read or just watch you in your element. He’s said himself that he loves smart girls so I think the two of you being together would allow him to grow more as a person. Also, imagine the conversations! This boy loves to talk and I think having you around would get him thinking on whole new levels.

Monsta X:

I putting you with Kihyun! While he’s not necessarily book smart, you definitely can’t deny that Kihyunnie is insanely clever. Between the two of you I feel like this would make for some really interesting conversations, especially considering how this boy likes to form and voice his opinions. Not to say that that is always a good thing, but it would definitely make for some good conversations. At the same time, he’s a very caring person and I feel like he would be the type to take interest in whatever it is you’re interested in. So expect him to borrow your favorite books and learn little saying in different languages in an attempt to not only impress you, but to get closer to the person he loves.

EXO:

I’m being REAL GENEROUS and giving you my man, Xiumin!

THIS IS A REPOST. I’m moving everything from my side blog to my main blog.

So you and EXO are expected to do a dance routine together, you’re super excited but incredibly nervous, so much so that you’re struggling getting the choreography down. 

Xiumin / Minseok:

This little cinnamon roll could see that you KNOW what to do, but that your nerves are getting the best of you. So he patiently watches you out of the corner of his eye constantly to make sure you’re doing alright and is always more than happy to praise you when you do well and just sort of ignoorree your mistakes.

Xiumin: “That’s right...step...step....that was perfect jagi! See? You’re doing amazing.”

*totally ignoring that you were off beat and stepped on his foot twice*

Suho / Junmyeon:

This boy would be both the perfect cheerleader and teacher. He’s super supportive but also really wants you to do your best, not so much for his sake but for your own. Everytime you mess up, he’ll work with you to improve. But when you do well expect lots of gummy smiles and cheering.

Suho: “Ahh Angel, that was almost perfect. Try stepping more out to the left...yes! Just like that!”

*all thumbs-up and flailing*

Lay / Yixing:

This sweet little space cadet would already have this routine down pact, but he is intently watching you and dancing along...not totally realizing that you’re following the wrong moves. But, all around, he’s just enjoying his time with you and trying to make working with him as fun for you as possible.

Yixing: “Shake to the left....shake...wait baby why are we doing this again?”

Baekhyun:

So before anything productive actually happens you’re going to have to wear this sweet little puppy out. He’s going to come in with waayy too much energy and ‘focus’ will more than likely be out the window. But once you’ve both warmed up and he’s slightly worn out he’s gonna do his best to ensure than you know what to do and that you aren’t stressed out too much over it.

Baekhyun: “But bbaabbbeeee we’ve done this move three whole times...let’s do something else now.”

*puppy eyes you all to helllll*

Chen / Jongdae:

This boy’s going to troll the hell out of you. When he sees you make any big mistakes you’re more than likely gonna look over to see him on the floor laughing or mocking you (to death). At the same time he knows what this means to you, because having you involved in the routine means the world to him as well. Once he notices you getting frustrated he’ll stop and take you through the moves step-by-step.

Jongdae: “Okay jagi, just remember left, right, right again....and step back, you’re doing great, promise.”

*more than likely has wondering hands that you have to slap away*

Jongdae: “Ahh waaeeeee?! I’m being helpful.”

[but really....would you? COULD YOU SLAP THEM ANGELIC GRACEOGOD HANDS AWAY?]

Chanyeol:

He would be waayy too busy goofing off and making pervy ‘changes’ to the choreography to be of much help. He wants you to do well but he hates the serious atmosphere and can’t take it for too long. Even though he knows you’re the one struggling, realistically you would have to be the one reeling him back in to actually get anything done.

Chanyeol: “Ahh but jagiya, we’ve been at this for a whole....12 minutes! It’s break time.”

*struggles to get your attention when you go back to practicing*

D.O / Kyungsoo:

This child would be in the same boat as you, but he’s not going to let you know that he’s having almost the same problems that you are. He really wants you to do your best and he’s gonna give you whatever help you need to do just that. Even if that means he falls behind in learning the moves himself, he will practice later when you aren’t around.

Kyungsoo: “You’re almost there love, but you’re doing really well. Don’t worry about being perfect, just focus on knowing what to do.”

Kai / Jongin:

Although he definitely knows what each step of the choreography is, it’s doubtful that he would be much help to you once he’s zoned into what he’s doing. His focus is definitely going to be on perfecting his part, but once he’s tuned back into what’s going on around him he’s going to give you that grin (you know the one) that tells you he’s sorry he was unintentionally ignoring you, and run over to focus on getting you sorted out.

Kai: “Ahh sorry love. You know how I get.”

*puts his hands on your waist to help you get into a better position for that move*

[I HAD TO ADD THAT LAST PART ON THERE CAUSE I KNOW HOW YA’LL ARE. DEHYDRATED AND NASSTYY.]

Sehun:

This child is going to have oppiinnioonnsss. Way too many than is actually good for him. He’s probably going to walk you through the choreo a few times before standing there, sassy-hipped and mouth agape, watching you struggle. Once he’s done gawking and laughing, he’ll work with you every step of the way to make sure you don’t ‘insult his godly grace.’

Sehun: “Baby...sweetheart...jagiya. Just no. But don’t worry though, we’ll sort you out before you cause anymore destruction.”

THIS IS A REPOST. I’m moving everything from my side blog to my main blog. 

So it's your first Christmas with the boys and you want to get a photo together LIKE THE HAPPY FAMILY YOU ARE.

[Note: I don’t own any of these GIFs unless I state otherwise.]

Xiumin / Minseok:

This lil bean will be so excited to get to spend Christmas with you for the first time, he also knows that you love all of the boys and that this photo together means A LOT. He’s going to be more than happy to help you get everything set up and get the boys together, but don’t expect him to be much help in keeping them in line. He’s gonna be a total goob about this too. Prepare for loads of goofy faces and him smooching your face parts when he sees you looking frustrated.

XiuXiu: “Don’t be mad Jagi, we’ll get the photo. Promise! Even if it takes hours, it’ll happen!”

*kisses your face and ruffles your hair all to hell*

Suho / Junmyeon:

He’s going to stand back and applaud your efforts for trying at least. Suho has been trying to get one of these photos himself for the last few years, but it’s like trying to get a picture with a group of small children. 

If nothing else he’ll probably provide cute hats and dumb stuff for the boys to wear for the photograph so at least you two can stand there and enjoy watching the adorableness that ensues while you’re NOT getting the photo. Suho: "Well....maybe we can just get several photos and photoshop them together....that’s probably as good as it’s gonna get, my love.”

Lay / Yixing:

Unlike the others, Yixing is going to be a champ when it comes to picture taking. He’ll let you dress him up in whatever holiday-themed crap you want and be more than happy to sit there while you get as many photos as you need. More than likely though, he’ll zone out and after you get about 476 photos and call it quits...you notice that he looks the exact same in every single photograph.

*you looking through the photos*

You: “....did you ever move?” Yixing: “Baby you told me not to...” You: “Yeah but...Xingy...we were there for 5 hours...”

Baekhyun:

GOOD LUCK.

This little puppy is going to be a living hell. He’s going to enjoy running around with all of the holiday props, scream-singing and making pervy lyrics to Christmas songs, and will more than likely start a lowkey strip tease. Honestly, your best bet for him may be duct tape. Otherwise I can’t help but feel like every picture will have his face either completely blurred or him laughing hysterically.

He may give you a hard time, but he’s also going to have you in tears laughing and ensure than you have a fun night with him and the boys.

You: “BYUN BAEKHYUN! Would you sit down and stop tying to climb the Christmas tree!”

Baek: “But babe...I’m the star. I have to take back my rightful throne!”

Chen / Jongdae:

For the first time in a long time this boy is going to focus his trollisms on the boys instead of just you. He’s another one that’s going to make tonight a total hell, but at the same time he’s constantly watching to make sure you’re laughing and having fun and not plotting his death. When he’s not forcing the members into uncomfortable (but lowkey kinda hot) situations, he’s going to be plotting pranks to pull on the boys and dragging you along with him.

You can get as annoyed at him as you want, but you’re going to be loving him more and more for all the work he’s putting in to see the smile on your face.

Jongdae: *runs up to you with a wrapped box* “Jagiyaaaa I’ve got the perfect prank for Baek...I cut a hole in the bottom of it and I’m PRETTY sure I can get him to put his hand in there if you told him the gift inside was for him.” You: “....Jong....Dae....is that....ARE YOU TRYING TO DICK-IN-A-BOX BAEKHYUN!?”

*flexes his brows at you til you die*

Chanyeol:

Oh Channy, I feel like he would want to do well and get a good photo for you but this poor child would get SO distracted by the antics of the other boys.

He’d be good enough to wear whatever props he finds and try to be extra cute for you, but as soon as Baek starts running around his focus would be completely gone. Every so often you’d have to go over and refocus him but it’d be gone again only a few seconds later.

Expect a lot of extra-gummy smiles and running up to you to give you apologetic hugs and kisses.

Chanyeol: “Babbyyyy I’m trying but I just....LOOK WHAT A CUTE LITTLE REINDEER I AM THOUGH.”

*runs off and somehow finds the spray confetti*

You: “Oh...dear...lord. CHANYEOL.”

D.O / Kyungsoo:

By this point he’d be so fed up with these idiots that the once ‘sweet’ smile he had plastered on was now looking a bit...serial killery. He is more than likely wondering why this Christmas photo can’t just be between the two of you, but he knows just how much this means to you and is willing to just grin and bear it for the sake of your happiness. You’ll more than likely have to assuage him with food and try your best to keep the others out of his personal space once he’s on edge.

You: “Ah...Soo, please put Chanyeol down....okay now please stop choking him...okay yeah but he’s turning blue and his face is all sweaty...it’s not gonna look pretty for the picture.”

Kai / Jongin:

This goob is going to be all over you during this photo-taking attempt. The way he sees it is that this is more a moment to capture for just the two of you, and the other boys running wild around you just shows the two of you in your natural habitat. He’s not going to really be all that distracted or running around, he’s just going to focus on ensuring you get an amazing and fun Christmas and really doesn’t want to miss a second that he could be spending with you.

Be prepared for loads of hugs, kisses, couple’s poses and matching hats.

Jongin: “Angel, can we do heart hands for this next one??” *pushes everyone else off the sofa so it’s just the two of you*

Sehun:

So, good luck getting a happy face out of this one. More than likely you’re going to get either bored expressions, or dumb faces out of this one. He’s going to be his normal sassy self and pretend that he doesn’t want to be there, and would be much happier going off and doing other things. When in reality he’s enjoying having the whole family together, even through all the chaos and you frantically running around.

It wouldn’t be outrageous to say that he also might get a little swept up in whats going on around him, so you can expect to see his childish side peek out a bit.

You: “Well if you really don’t want to be here, I’m sure I can find someone else who will let me sit on their lap...” Sehun: “It’s fine, I’ll just suffer in silence.” *holds you tightly in his lap and sticks his tongue out at you*