&.* a small chuckle escaped riley’s lips, an action that seemed only to be a distant memory. another sip progressed it’s way through her bloodstream, a dizzying dance of numbness. following the males gaze, she watched as the night bid adieu to lovers and friends. the moon offering comfort where she felt no other living thing could. as she listened closely, she could only sigh. to be young. to make mistakes that could be swept under the rug. forgotten. written over in history. “–i’m afraid police holding cells aren’t as scary as they’re painted.” she laughed, her laugh sobering to her months of sadness. “a lot of interesting people in there.” she was honest, she’d been there. made that mistake and rewritten it. to be young. as he queried his impact on her well being she felt pain wrap around her. if only he knew. feeling his presence edge closer to hers, she shimmied herself closer as well, as if to play against his seduction. “oh honey,” she spoke biting down on her lip, “you have no idea.” she giggled to play off the seriousness of her words. “to be an enigma is by definition who i am.” she almost thanked him for passing on her offer, although she maintained enough sobriety to hold her ground, she feared her ability to successfully to move with enough coordination to the exit. her mind enough of a haze to forget about the sleeping blonde at home, but compiled enough to keep the paternity in gritted teeth. “– where would the allure be without mystery? to know too much? why… that would almost take the fun away. imagine this, just two ships passing in the night.”

a soft laugh passed finn’s honeyed lips. his ocean blue hues couldn’t stay away from her hazel ones that held diamonds. there was something about her so beautiful yet so tragic, likely comparable to a flower. “i can’t disagree with that”, the blonde male replied, a smile dancing on his petals. people swarmed around them, with the same purpose as they did. drinking their problems away for one sour night and for what in return? to wake up in misery the day after and move on. “interesting?” her choice of words made him wonder. “i guess that depends on what that person’s story is, jail isn’t a place where you go to for one small mistake. i’m convinced there are also uninteresting people in there. and what’s the fun in being arrested alone if it is for the night?” the lad smiled, an interesting look painting on his features before a chuckle escaped and left with the wind. their bodies remained close, but there was another world between their souls. you have no idea. every word stabbed him because he realised it was the truth. guilt woke up along with the moon. silence lingered on him, drowning all the words he wanted to tell her. a smile placed on his rosebuds, her words blending with his thoughts. “so that must be the reason why many guys are into you. who doesn’t love a good mystery after all?” the male spoke, sparks of interest rushing over his physique. finn focussed on the words that passed her divine lips. “sure, you may be right but what if you fall in love with someone? don’t you think the mystery vanishes? i don’t want my lover to be an enigma to me.” 

&.*  what was she doing here? the question echoed monumentally loud within her head but quickly gained an answer that painted itself on rosy lips, grimacing. she was trying. for those that deemed to give a crap about her. trying. but she didn’t really want to. she wanted to run away, to throw her promises down the drain. had she promised? or just “claimed”? the clinical walls that surrounded her nailed the lid closed on the coffin. she needed to leave. her fingers fidgeted, pushing back cuticles and clearing dirt from underneath nails. she needed a hit. something to get her past sympathetic eyes that met her brown orbs. that knew what she knew. that she wasn’t going in. one potato, two potato. the face drew her a step closer, and for just a moment she thought she’d do it. each step closer had her one step further from the room. just enough to see the chairs all aligned in a circle, the snacks untouched, the faces already seated chattering amongst themselves. everything that was expected, that rhiannon expected… that she’d prepared for. ‘hi i’m rhia and i don’t really need to be here.” danced on bated breath. one. two. she counted silently willing legs to progress, and they did. so far that she met the threshold of the vacant gymnasium, before spinning and sprinting back out the poster-clad doors previously entered. no. no. no. she was fine. perfect even. she was happy. healthy. and in the end wasn’t that all that counted? in a neighbourhood unknown, she paced city streets before finding a quaint cafe. a quick coffee order later, had rhiannon in the bathroom cutting white lines on a cosmetic screen and inhaling quickly. one. two. immediately, like matter over mind, her jitters left her. the last fifteen minutes a quick blur and a hilarious story that she’d tell herself in ten years. ‘that one time she was peer pressured to fix what was never broken’. she was fine. flushing the toilet although never used, the red head brushed an arm over her nose, clearing any evidence of her true bathroom activities. a mirror check later and she found refuge in a quiet nook of the cafe, her caramel latte brought out swiftly and her thoughts left to immerse themselves in the latest hits softly echoing in the small space.

&. she herself didn’t know how to answer the now returned question. for what it’s worth. “i guess considering the life and death of it all.” she spoke, was that really what she meant? for the life she was keeping from him. his life. glumness held stale in the air, dampening the small remnants of happiness she felt in the socialite scene, now once removed. his crystals peered into her as if to will for more information, words that escaped her. that found an inability to empty themselves from her stomach let alone crawl up her throat to pronunciation. “drinking, partying… doing all sorts of things i shouldn’t.” she smiled remembering the ways in which she sauntered around once, the ways which paved the way for her current predicament. “all the wrong boys, and even worse men.” she commented almost muffled. “pass on what?” she questioned, an eye towards the bartender had another drink right behind the she was desperate to finish. “carrying me home?” she laughed, aware of the former events. “i think we’re aware i can handle myself. and home, isn’t quite where it used to be, so i’m sure you’ll only get lost.”

finn pursed his rose petals together while nodding understandably. “i see”, the blonde lad replied, taken by suprise. making it seem as if he understood. a part on the inside of him kicked, wanting to yell. deadly thorns wrapped around his organs, feeling every inch of his body sting. the place had started to become dense, as if his mind wanted him to go home but in his heart he wanted to stay with her. it were her heavenly eyes that made him weak but the male knew it was over once he saw she poisened him with that enchanting smile of hers. a pearl white smile brightened. “you’re only young once, right? i guess it’ll fine as long as you don’t end up in jail”, he spoke, licking his lips. his fingers tapped on the counter, creating musical melodies as curiosity predominating his muscular body. his sight focussed on the femme, almost as if he were observing her– or at least her actions. “do i belong to that category, riley? was i bad to you?” finn questioned in a rather seductive way, daring her to answer while he stumbled closer to her flawless ends. “you know you’ll always remain a mystery to me. and i meant that i’m going to pass on those drinks tonight.”

.&. pursed lips responded silently to the males words. he wasn’t sticking around. furiously disappointing she remained ever silent allowing the icy blonde to finish his words. his kind, gracious words that made her want to cry and scream simultaneously. how could the most genuine words to be uttered from human lips feel like a knife slicing pale flesh? because he doesn’t know. her own conscience relayed back. would it change anything if he ever did? “–well, i’m glad you’re happy. for what it’s worth.” she commented sucking in a mouthful of that which gave her life. his scent trickled through her nostrils, the same as the night the pair first met. full of musk and safety in words she could never fathom. as words queried her activities, her whole being wanted to scream how hard it’d been. the lack of alcohol to numb the darkness she’d felt, the extreme’s she’d had to travel to continue the facade of her life. the lies. the sleepless nights filled with sedatives and coffee. how she was perfectly not okay. “the usual.” she nodded as the clinking of glass offered her a temporary second of relief. another sip. the liquid burned her throat, a feeling eight months never gave. if you didn’t include the lies that choked her up like a house fire. the body of riley hudson in flames. “pour another drink, y’know…” she smiled, a sigh circling her lungs. “the same as it never was, but as it will always be.” she flirted without giving much of a answer. enigmatic.

“for what it’s worth?” finn mimicked, lifting his formed brows. her voice awoke the angels. angels whom got lost. the femme was the warmth he longed for and the light he needed. yet her shiny eyes were a shield that carried the same old stars as she did from the first time the couple met. a shield that wanted to be protected. the femme built a wall around herself and the blonde male couldn’t figure out how to burn those bricks around her down. why didn’t she open up to him? a sigh escaped his petals, while gazing into the endlessness. “the usual?” he repeated clueless. time started to pass and the moon’s sadness wandered around the night sky, giving a sparkle of light to a less cold and dark place that he called home. her glass bounced against the wooden material before he could swallow the liquor himself. a burning feeling scratched itself down his throat, almost like a waterfall. “careful there, i wouldn’t want to carry you home like last time”, finn teased, before silent laughter passed his dulcet rose lips. his sapphire colored orbs focussed on the liquid filling up the small crystalware. “you know what, i think i’m going to pass tonight”, the male spoke out of a sudden. along with the decision his mood sunk. a soft forced smile covered his handsome features as his clear hues peered into her golden brown ones. “aren’t you going to fill me in about ‘the usual’ ri?” the lad returned, furrowing his brows in curiosity upon asking the question. 

.&. like a monsoon, her thoughts swirled and churned like the ocean. ceasing without a conclude and beginning without an introduction. she could scream. a banshee in the moonlight howling at the moon, the death of the person she now imitated. his words echoed in her head the dawn of a new realization that she was sure painted itself across flushed features. a small smile toyed on her lips, bouncing off his own, although she was sure behind those sapphire eyes laid good intentions unlike her hazel as murky as her life. “surprise me.” she stated replying cheekily, the same flirtatious soul possessing the body that once called itself home. his eyes peered deep into her soul, almost erupting a guilt from her. that he’d never know the little girl, that wore his eyes like the moon wore a smile, who’s blonde barely there locks she concealed with ‘family ancestry’. he left. the voice barked loud in the back of her mind shaking her out of offering pity to the male that stood in front of her. he’ll leave again. the anger had long ago dissipated from such words, and instead a lack of remorse diluted the pity that she’d once offered. “–are you home long now?” she mused curiously.

the male nodded his head when the brunette told him to suprise her. his rosebud lips sewed together upon hearing those words stumble from her pink petals. the lad shook his head in uncertainty, his lake crystal blue orbs wandering around the place. “i mean that could depend on when they get another call. it can either be within three weeks or two months. you know this may sound odd but i like serving for our country. it feels good– knowing that i’m doing something right for others… for the ones whom need it.”, he tried clearing his thoughts into words as a smile placed on his pure nude skin colored features. the young man tilted his head towards the bartender, ordering two liquorish drinks. silence filled the space inbetween them while he allowed his lungs to breath, yet he felt as if their bodies were yelling to each other. in need. “tell me something about yourself, ri. what have you done over these past few months?”, finn mused, hearing the small glasses clicking against the counter. handing her one, the blonde lad raised the tiny crystalware. “here’s to the night.”

.&. words evaded her mental state. her stance motionless, as if she’d been electrocuted. if it wasn’t for the deafening thumping of the hollow organ that laid in her chest cavity, she’d have believed it. was this real? surely the brunette hadn’t reached a delusional point of drunk stupor. had she? his grin came like a tsunami, her thoughts unable to collectively form a cohesive sentence as his words flowed like a dyslexic melody through her ears. a presence that threatened to ruin a lie she’d almost begun to believe herself, a lie that unraveled left her senseless. a lie she needed to protect. “-fine.” she spoke quickly as if she’d had somewhere else to be. to be truthful, she did have a place to be, a person to be. one that in no way reflected the person she was. a facade laid in circumstance and bad decisions. before she could decline the offer, she begrudgingly accepted. for all he knew, it was fine. this was all perfect and she was the same social butterfly that she was almost ten months ago. with the realization dawning on her, another facade stole the show. riley hudson twenty fifteen edition, the girl with the pocket full of sass filled sunshine and one night stands. a signature smile swept itself over glossed lips, and remnants of sleepless nights curled themselves far up in former thoughts. “how are you?” she chirped, feigning interest. “it’s been a while right?” fucking nine months, she mimicked silently.

“good”, finn replied with softness forming over him. yet the blonde male couldn’t help but feel as if something changed. as if she weren’t the same. the crowd around them were a river of people, laughter covering their faces and sparkles lifting up their eyes. the lad floated inbetween them, guiding the femme towards the bar. his forearm rested on the counter. seductive hues not leaving her angelic ones. his divine petals parted, air escaping from his lungs. a gentle smile placed upon his lips when the brunette asked him how he was, but it wasn’t genuine. “great”, he started off, using his smile like an armor. “you know, came home for a couple of weeks before leaving again for another mission.” the young man gazed at her flawless features as his stomach turned. maybe he shouldn’t have been here at all. it wasn’t good for him, at least not anymore. being in the military had given him a clear mind over time. “tell me about it”, the male said, a soft smile curling up on his rose lips. “what can i get you to drink?” he continued, wondering what the female did over the past couple of months. did he cross her mind at night as much as she his? but even with those questions dwelling in his thoughts of one thing he was certain, that it all started with that smile that cast a spell on him and those eyes that showed him a glimpse of what heaven looked like.

* ✰. — musepirations’ 5k giveaway ❞

hi sunshines !! to celebrate the fact that i reached 5.000 followers on this blog ( which goes beyond my dearest dreams, i truly cannot believe it ), i decided to do something back for YOU, my lovely followers, the people who are the reason why i log on with a smile day after day. i’d give you all the world if i could, but i’m afraid that for now, a giveaway has to do. i hope this might help you out in some way, petals. thank you so, so much for following me and sticking with me !! i love you all so very much, never doubt that !! lots of love, xoxo.

* ✰. — RULES ❞

i’m not going to throw a lot of rules your way, sweethearts, so don’t worry !! just a couple basics:

i’d be nice if you were following THIS blog !!

only REBLOGS count, likes don’t.

feel free to reblog several times, but an extra reblog won’t count as an extra entry.

your blog must be rp related !!

once the giveaway ends, i will pick a winner with THIS website.

the giveaway will END in three weeks, namely the 2ND OF AUGUST. 

find the prizes below the cut !!

.&. a mere month had passed since riley found herself insatiably insomnimatic, the cause of deprivation from the all consuming darkness being drowned at the bottom of a glass bottle. it was her night, that was hers. without a loud bellowing, for which she never knew the demand. an instinct those around her claimed would come naturally, ran dry like the sahara. it didn’t end. a sigh left her lips as her eyelashes batted away the sleep that cried her name almost as much as that which laid impatiently at home. that laid– that waited with bated breath to pull her from the existence she once thrived in. another sip washed down unnoticed by the brunette, like falling into old habits the way one fell off a bridge. senselessly, and miles a minute. she just wanted one night, that wrapped it’s arms around her like a blanket on a cold day, like an old friend… and boy had she missed her friend dearly. another sip and the music softened. another and the room grew quieter. nodding at a conversation she didn’t quite catch the beginning of and didn’t quite care to hear the end of, the girl did as expected. nodded, grinned and did it all again with the next that came her way. as the next muffled conversation ended, Riley went to find the next sip to move the night on, her mission, that was until light blue crystals danced in the moonlight that lit her dark hazel orbs. an old friend, that become the story of her life. the downfall of a prom queen, unbound by the nature of life, the stranger that would become more than a footnote on a page, but sentences riddled throughout the encyclopedia of her life. blue eyes as she’d formally named him. the same blue eyes that she woke and fell to each dusk and dawn and hours inbetween.

pearl white sparkles danced in the dark. doubt controlled him. what if she didn’t want to see him after all those months? or worse what if she found another lover to hold her in their arms under the night sky? finn sucked in lungfuls of air as spasms of delight rocketed through him. the blonde lad sauntered towards the femme as if the clock stopped doing its hours when his eyes met her heavenly ones. his husky voice called for the brunette’s name carefully whilst a charming smile plastered on his pink petals. “riley.” words came at him like a storm, overwhelming yet it still left him breathless. “i–” pausing the male pursed his peachy lips together. “how have you been holding up? it’s been quite some time”, he added. the same enchanting smile lingering on his near perfect features as months ago, believing that he was never gone. there she was; the woman whom visited his dreams when the sun fell asleep, her smile carried roses and her zircon brown eyes haunted him. young women like the femme herself never spent their nights alone. but men didn’t treasure diamonds like her. and he had been one of those. finn wanted to apologise but it all came too soon. how long would it take before past would repeat itself? silence stung him, taking away all of the air he needed. the lad cleared his throat. his smile fading along with the night. “can i offer you a drink?”

scars remained on the blonde lad’s muscular chest. his sea blue hues drifted to the back of his mind. how his scars told stories – stories no one else could retell. only those whom sacrificed themselves for the believe of goodness and grace in a cruel place. he licked his bottom lip. his thumb caressed the edge of the mold material whilst his other fingers held grip on the neck. finn carried the beer bottle to his rose petals, a bittersweet aftertaste lingering down his throat, after swallowing what must have been a quarter of the content. the male’s clear orbs wandered around the fusty place, fingers making a melodic sound on the holder of the drink. dulcet lips parted, allowing air to suffocate him whilst rose thorns curled up solidly around his lungs. the young man’s firm hands rubbed in his face as wisps of belabored breathing caught onto the air. what was he doing here? it had been a month since the lad came back from his mission of nine months smothering in a fallen area, that wanted to be saved, and he needed time to heal. finn fought, stood by with whom he would call heroes and lost. he worked hard, pressuring himself until pieces of him started to shred. but within a glance warmth found its way to his handsome sharp features when his crystal hues met someone he longed to see.

                                           What family?