Up we go

Meanwhile, no person ever: “You should think about giving up your insulin/antiretrovirals/beta blockers/anti-rejection drugs/prosthetic legs/daily multivitamin, because using those your whole life is bad for some reason”

Oh no, they do that too.

I have a kidney transplant. A woman once told me she didn’t believe in organ transplants and that people should just die when they’re meant to. 

Sounds like a great set-up for a murder

People who are fully healthy, fit and neurotypical seem to think they are that way because they’re doing something right that the rest of us haven’t thought of, and not just because they got lucky

People who are fully healthy, fit and neurotypical seem to think they are that way because they’re doing something right that the rest of us haven’t thought of, and not just because they got lucky

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“You are one stroke of bad luck, common viral illness, or traumatic event away from being just like me” is honestly the most terrifying thing you can tell an abled person - and you should. I was healthy and fit and doing everything ‘right’ too - right up until some inner switch flipped and my body crumbled right out from under me.

if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue

how could he NOT fall in love with me though like i am literally there making him giggle, daily. a grown man covered in gold and he is just laughing at my stupid little jokes. i have that bastard wrapped around my finger. He knows it

rip to all the “fuckyeah___” blogs that carried our society at one point </3

usb drives you find lying on the ground are modern day cursed amulets

just over a decade ago, i was a student at a big state university and i worked at a computer lab on campus. and people would leave flash drives there every fuckin day we're talkin like dozens of flash drives a week. and what's really wild to me is that they generally would NEVER come back and ask for their flash drive. like, maybe 1 in a 100 came to the desk and asked for their flash drive back so we'd just have boxes and boxes of flash drives. hundreds of them. and let me tell you, people would leave all sorts of crazy shit on those (it was my job to check). mostly homework of course but also, like, entire music and movie collections, games, personal photos, extremely personal photos, and, like, tax documents. do u know how many times i found a flash drive with someone's complete tax return and academic record on it? with like their social security number and everything? it's a good thing i'm not into identity theft because working there was easy mode. anyway about once a month i'd wipe all the drives less than 256MB in size, load em up with furry porn, and leave them around parties like easter eggs

in junior year of highschool my art teacher would let our ceramics class play music of our choice off of her desktop. we usually used spotify or youtube but she did have one album downloaded on her computer. it was a halloween sound effects/ambience collection. i dont remember why she had it. there was a track on there called "burning screams" which was exactly what it sounds like. just a cacophony of screams alongside crackling fire. she only let us play it on very special occasions, and we would cheer and jump with joy every time. it was like a pizza party to us

please imagine 6 teenagers with giant sad puppy eyes looking at a dear sweet 50 something year old art teacher and asking "may we please hear burning screams"

i dont know where burning screams came from. ive looked. its lost media to me. burning screams is my white whale

i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

before this starts getting notes i have to add that this is not my dog. i dont know how he got in my backyard

Sometimes they eat sand dollars : )

Sharks don’t need or want our human “Pringles”, they want Sand Dollars because they taste better if drenched in saltwater.

hey, don't cry. pierced nipples in tight shirts, okay?

My favorite sandwich at the local deli is called a “sweet kiss” and I always order for pickup online but sometimes (like today) it doesn’t let me and I have to do it in person and I feel so ridiculous strolling in there like a horny single mom from a 60s movie wearing a big hat and cat eye sunglasses or something. Hello boys… won’t any one of you be a dear and give a girl a sweet kiss