“Want to try a free sample of our new drink?”
Anders looked from his boyfriend, Kevin, to the small booth. Admittedly, he was shocked the stand even existed, promoting a new beer out in public felt off, if not outright illegal. Not only that, but the marketing of the stall definitely clashed against the liberal arts college in its background–the cheaply-made AI American front was not exactly welcome by any means.
“Uh, we’re good, thanks,” Kevin said, beginning to walk off. Anders grabbed his boyfriend’s arm before he could get too far.
“What?” Kevin registered Anders’s face. “You’re not serious.”
“C’mon, who doesn’t love a little day-drinking?” Anders teased.
“When did you start liking beer?”
“I don’t.” Anders’s next class was mathematics, and although he had a high grade, he dreaded the exam that awaited him. “That’s the joy of a free sample, right?”
The man at the stand grinned, presenting Anders with a tall can. Anders took it, a bit surprised. He had been expecting a cup with a few ounces inside, not a whole can.
“Uh, thanks!” Anders said.
“Trust me, dude, you’ll be thanking me.”
Anders then grabbed Kevin and scurried off. Minutes later, they found a private space to tuck away, taking a seat beside each other on a bench.
“You’re going to have to drink some of this with me.” Anders realized the beer not only looked out of place against the campus, but against himself too. A skinny guy in a sweater and polished jeans drinking a brewski midday? Definitely not a match made in heaven.
“No way,” Kevin replied. Anders chuckled and popped open the tab. From the smell, it was evident that there was nothing miraculous inside the can. It was beer.
Rolling his eyes, Kevin mimed a fake can to clink against Anders. Anders took a swig and took a painful swallow.
“God, that’s disgusting.”
“No way!” Kevin sarcastically offered. “A gay man doesn’t like beer, groundbreaking.”
“Ok, challenge accepted.”
Before Kevin could question what the challenge was, Anders brought the can back to his lips. He took two gulps instead of one this time.
“Not as-” Anders paused to cough. “NoT AS Bad as the first time.”
Anders voice violently hiccuped before dropping down, below it’s typical register. Kevin was about to object but Anders already had the beer moving down his throat again. Anders's throat vibrated with each swallow, pushing out his Adam’s apple further and further.
Anders stopped momentarily, this time burping. “Uh, yeah?”
Kevin’s face twisted slightly. “Why is your voice so deep?”
“Uh, it’s always been like this?”
Without allowing Kevin to respond, Anders continued drinking again. It felt like the beer was now travelling past his throat and through his veins. Anders had never had this much beer before, if ever, but he could see why other people loved the stuff. There was a new energy spreading out across his torso and into his arms and legs.
“Anders?” Kevin’s face was growing more confused by the second. “Anders!”
“-What, man!” Anders gasped, letting out another, longer burp. He scratched idly at the chest hairs spilling over the top of his collar. It felt looser than he remembered.
“There’s something wrong with that beer!” Kevin reached for the can, but Anders moved it away out of reach. This should have surprised Anders, as he had always been the shorter of the pair. “You have to stop drinking it.”
“Why though?” Anders countered. “I’m beginning to like it.”
Nearly half the can was gone. Anders wanted to pound the rest before class and Kevin was distracting him. Where was he going again? Mathe…nomics? Economics? Did not matter, he had more drinking to do.
“Wait!” Kevin protested as Anders began chugging again. At first, Anders was able to get away with the drinking in silence, despite having to readjust his position on the bench. Being as muscular as he was did that to a guy–he was never fully comfortable. Plus his shorts were riding up his thick, furry thighs and fondling his pouch nicely. Anders was surprised to find himself growing hard, harder than he had ever been before. It was like his pouch had grown somehow.
Kevin moved in again but this time Anders was ready, holding his scrawny opponent back as he neared the bottom of the can. Anders found himself impressed by his thick arm and the bush spilling out from underneath his exposed armpit. There was something so manly about it. Manly like his cross necklace, manly like his stubble and backwards cap.
Manly like this beer, and manly like the other men who probably drank it. The other men who drank this beer were probably rednecks. The other men were probably Christian. The other men were probably Republicans and wanted to Make America Great Again. Anders was manly like the other men. He was like the other men. He watched sports and owned a truck and even chased pussy like the other men. Maybe there were no other men–maybe Anders was one of those men.
Kevin was eventually released, not bothering to continue to fight as he watched the last drops of the beer go down the throat. Victoriously, the alpha male released a final belch, spitting directly in Kevin’s face.
“Fuck bro, that’s the stuff,” Drew finally said. “Go grab me another one, bro. Say that you want a sample for yourself.”
