D.S.

𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐝. / 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐨. / 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬.

the  sun  rises  and  sets  at  her  command,  she  was  born  for  this.  he,  on  the  other  hand,  looks  simultaneously  out  of  place  and  every  bit  like  he’s  right  where  he  belongs  sitting  behind  that  desk,  drowning  in  an  ever - familiar  mountain  of  paperwork.  secret  service  keeps  their  distance  from  the  door  as  she  soaks  in  the  campaign  office,  modest  but  whispering  of  possibilities  from  deep  within  crisp  white  walls.  

it  seems  like  only  yesterday  they’d  been  sitting  at  james  madison  hospital  hoping  for  a  miracle.  there  would  be  no  fitzgerald  grant  if  it  hadn’t  been  for  derek  shepherd  -  just  a  bullet  and  a  legacy.  she’d  known  she  had  to  come  when  word  broke  of  his  campaign  and  its  struggles;  she  owed  everything  to  him  and  his  scalpel.  she  owed  him  her  help,  in  whatever  form  he  might  accept  it.  “  i  imagine  i’d  feel  the  same  way  if  i  woke  up  one  day  and  decided  to  trade  in  my  pen  for  a  scalpel.  “  amusement  kicks  at  the  edges  of  rose - tinted  lips.  “  you’re  taking  a  big  leap.  it’s  natural  that  you  might  feel  out  of  place.  it’s  good,  actually.  it’d  be  a  lot  more  concerning  if  you  showed  up  ready  to  kick  your  feet  up  on  the  desk.  “  

the  president  comes  to  a  halt,  then.  something  had  seemed  out  of  place,  and  it’s  just  clicking  now:  it’s  too  quiet  in  here  for  an  active  senate  campaign.  “  what  you  need  is  a  bigger  team.  have  you  hired  a  campaign  manager?  “ 

           surgery      was     messy.      despite      the     sterilized      environment,      it     was      extremely      messy.      𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜      𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧     𝐚𝐭      𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬.    you     never      knew      what     you      were      going     to      get      sometimes.      bursts      of     blood      could      ruin     a      new      pair     of      shoes      or     even      get      through      the     cover      and      ruin     your      scrubs.      surgery      was     messy,      and     anyone      that      said     something      different      hadn’t      gotten      enough      OR     time.     𝙗𝙪𝙩      𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙨      𝙬𝙖𝙨     𝙖      𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙙      𝙗𝙖𝙩𝙝     𝙤𝙛      𝙞𝙩𝙨      𝙤𝙬𝙣.    it      was      far     more      hidden,      peeling      back     the      layers      of     fake      smiles      and     firm      handshakes      to     reveal      the      true     nature      and      intentions.      it     was      a     tricky      game.           politics      seemed      far     messier      than      the     inside      of      any     OR      room      derek     had      been      in.    

𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜      𝚊      𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝      𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕      𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐      𝚏𝚘𝚛     𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝      𝚊      𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝.    in     awe      of      his     life      now.      here     he     was      sitting      in     front      of      the      president.      there’s      few     nerves,      one      might     he      even      say     he      could      call     her      a      friend      or     at      least      for     now      in      a     way      a      coworker.      it     wasn’t      hard      to     feel      this      way     after      what      they     had      been      through.      saving      the     former     presidents      life      hadn’t      be     an      easy      task     to      uptake      &&      having      to     inform      the      first     lady      at      the     time      of      the     mere      fact      that     grant      might      not     make      it      through      the     night      had      been     the      hardest      part     of      it      all.     but      alas,      he     lived      and      all      prevailed.      

I'm rewatching grey’s anatomy and man Owen hunt is so different than I remember. when I left my derek muse in like 2017 and made owen my main muse i’m now realizing my amelia and i practically rewrote greys and owen and man i loved my owen, i’m thinking about adding him back to my multi so ya’ll can see who owen hunt shouldve been cause he’s perfect.

but i also don’t fault him for they way they wrote him in greys and here’s why ( no way an excuse for all his actions but more of an explanation into what i believe is owen hunts journey )

so first off we have his intial ptsd and cristina and teddy right, ( in no way am i saying this is everyone’s journey but i do have a close friend who shared a lot of insight ) i think a big part of owen hunts ptsd is the fact that when you go overseas and see everything and experince everything and then come back to normal life, simple fun things now seem pointless, like watching a movie or cooking dinner or having a night out with friends. he had so much meaning in his life, he was doing big things, changing the world and now he has to do simple things that benefit him... but they don’t because all he’s thinking about is how pointless this all is. this is something that cristina can listen to but never fully understand. owen hunt didn’t go through a traumatic event that gave him ptsd, he went through a tramautic lifestyle and even cristina says it herself that she didn’t have this ‘big traumu thing’, her ptsd comes from moments, certain events ( not saying this is an easier form of ptsd but its just vastly different ) and when owen hunt was going through that intial ptsd he didn’t need to be heard or listened to - he needed someone that would truly understand. and that was teddy, as a friend as a lover, whatever- teddy would have vastly helped him more. but when he chose cristina it changed their relationship forever and he lost that chance for someone to understand, and as he went through his own trauma alone- he put cristina through it and they could never recover from that. maybe they wouldve worked if he had chosen teddy first or over her, but he didn’t so their fate was sealed. 

now amelia, and this a slightly biased opinion because i only briefly saw the start of them and my amelia and i basically wrote our own show with them. but amelia was his redemption to loosing teddy. his last chance to spend a life with someone that could actually understand him. amelia didn’t go to war, doesn’t have the same ptsd, but she did live a life of trauma - she watched her dad die, her siblings pull away, got into drugs, relasped mutiple times, had her husband OD next to her, watched her baby die, then her person derek die. i really don’t think she wouldve gotten through it without owen. he understood her. understood the struggle of pointlessness. and therefor i think they had the best shot. owen had the best shot to become the owen i wanted him to be. 

❛❛  The      first      time      I     kissed      my      wife,     she      wasn’t      my     wife      then,      she     was      just      this     girl      in      a     bar.      But      when     we      kissed,      it     was      like,      I      gotta     tell      you,      it     was      like      I’d     never      kissed      any     other      woman      before.      It     was      like      my     first      kiss.      The      right     kiss.         ❜❜