Hope, Though We Struggle
"Be gracious to me, O God, according to your lovingkindness; According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions." [Psalm 51:1]
This is one of the most visited passages of Scripture in my Bible. So much so that the page this psalm falls on feels a bit thicker than the rest, due to pencil markings, highlighters, and dirty hands. I've repeated the phrase so often that at times I am convinced that I can hear the remainder of its echo relaying off of my bedroom walls. Yet, for some reason my life remains unchanged in so many ways, and to some degree, seems to get worse. I understand the grace of God to be something powerful and sanctifying. And though it may be free, it is not cheap- neither in quality, nor in costliness.
If that is true, why, then, is my sin still present? Even the sins of my youth! Perhaps, I've often thought, it is due to the earnestness (or lack thereof) of my prayer. Do I really wish to receive the grace that God so eagerly waits to lavish upon me? Do I truly believe that He will be gracious and compassionate?
That thought, however, seems to contradict the second phrase in the passage. "Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindess". His grace is based upon His kindness, though I often pray for His grace according to my sincerity. I pray for grace with an appeal to my faith, which is really no legitimate plea at all. My faith constantly falters and fails as I live on in this mortal body.
Could I ever attempt to make a plea for grace according to any righteous thing I've ever done? Are not all the inclinations of a man's heart toward evil (Romans 3:10-18)? Haven't my greatest deeds been tainted- marred, more like it- by sin (Isaiah 64:6). I have nothing! I have nothing that I might bring in order receive the power of God to be relieved of my sin and released to my King.
This is where we find hope.
The Scriptures seem to make it clear that I am unable even to utter this simple prayer aside from the aide of the Holy Spirit. That means that if I have prayed for grace I have already received it. The sinner-now-saint has been enabled by grace to ask for grace. The answer is given before and in the prayer for grace, because without pre-existent grace the prayer cannot exist.
What is truly amazing is that the grace being asked for can only be granted based upon His lovingkindness, not the sincerity of my faith, because that is the basis for the grace which has already been received. His lovingkindness is our strong and perfect advocate (1 John 2:1). God leaves no room for us to worm our way into the equation. (Eph 2:8-9)
This is why we can have hope in the midst of our struggle, because the work which He began He will finish (Phil 1:6). This is why we cannot give up in our fight for holiness. We must live as though we have received the grace to conquer our sin, because we have already actually received it.
