About a Man

Here we are, sinking in our ship ridden with cannonballs and torn to shreds at only the beginning of the fight.

What would've been full circle is now cut in crescent, irreconcilably parted pieces.

"How can I make it easier for you?" he asked.

Love is a thing to build. To build others. It accepts, hopes, believes in the unlikely; never tears down.

Love is not defeated. When we are defeated, thinking our love is defeated along with us, we're wrong.

We are defeated, and love is no more a thing by which we judge ourselves.

If we find ourselves put down and ravaged and despised and rejected, by all means we shall keep loving.

But never to agree with them about ourselves.

A blog named, "Feel Good Anyway"

My lazy-eyed lady,

Keep me there among those that you trust in 

That we won't fall apart

Peel away the sorrow and frustration

So you can see the light of day

I don't want to hurt you; I just don't know how to say

We don't need to search for what we aren't meant to find just yet. What we are meant to find, we will find when we're meant to find it.

Sink deeper, if you must. That is, if you think you must; it's not the point.

You're meant to stand; to walk without falling. Wherever you are now, God's hand will set you where you're meant to be.

Just be open.

Like the man pardoned from taking bread

I am released

Though I loathe what I've done

Like the man given freedom over candlesticks

I am forgiven

But it stings like a deadly venom

The cuts I've made in you

Sting more deeply than any scars 

If receiving true happiness means cutting tie after tie and burning bridge after bridge, I suppose it is worth it.

There as we lollied through the evening and on into the night, gagging at the slightest hint of intimate intention, I thought the taboo button would be more oft sounded. But we talked of only shallow things.

Imagine a people who number their days and count their blessings, who are unashamed of tightening their tongues and replacing their wineglasses with handshakes and hugs.

They wouldn't gather for the sake of 'is there any slight chance we'll be able to open that bottle of red sometime tonight?' or the confidence that leaks don't exist in THIS group so I can gossip all I want.

Shit, if Christ is our Lord, what knee bowed among us and what heart overtly yearned for something greater than this wisp of brevity we halfheartedly shared in between buzzes and can-I-have-another-martini's?

We friends were but stone cold broke dust collecting souls like those Bibles that seemed nailed to their shelves behind iPhone chargers and under laptops that were too precious to be on the bottom.

it steals away the ability to feel anything. no word and no thing can stop it. once rooted, it works from within to without.

something in me wants to believe that its temporary, that there is a cure and an undoing for it.

nothing satisfies, and everything is meaningless without god. what then, when you dont even have him?

At least you'll pass the time, and hopefully wake when times are sweet again.

"Listen!" said the White Spirit. "Once you were a child. Once you knew what inquiry was for. There was a time when you asked questions because you wanted answers, and were glad when you found them. Become that child. Even now. Thirst was made for water; inquiry for Truth."

This idea of being the wanderer, experiencing everything, going where the wind blows, taking on every bit of tasteful ideology that comes his way, questioning everything, even the things he's received answers to already, has begun to cripple even the most sturdy of souls.

We were not meant to be an empty tube through which Truth passes and leaves as soon as something else is inserted. We were created as deep, very deep, but finite!

We are wells, deep wells, but so truly meant to be filled! We were meant to be resolved in our deepest conflicts!

We were meant to arrive at truth, and continue to arrive at its deeper revelations!

We were never meant to regress back to empty questioning.

We were meant to progress, to ever grow. That we may, not through "experiencing all there is to experience", hold fast forever to the truths we once held so dear in complete safety for our souls and the true and near guarantee that there is One way to peace alone.

Sunrise with a Promise - April 13th, 2014

Psalm 90 - "Teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. O satisfy us early with they mercy, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days."