let yourself unwind, get lost in the garden of my mind

The Devil All The Time

Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… It brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. 

When she was born, Tom was God knows where… with God knows whom. And I asked the nurse if it was a boy or girl. And she said it was a girl and I wept, “I’m glad it’s a girl. And I hope she’ll be a fool. That’s the best thing a girl in this world can be. A beautiful little fool.” All the bright precious things fade so fast. And they don’t come back.

Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby for example, demonstrates once more the dramatic appeal of the hero as a self-created innocent. Fitzgerald was right, despite Edith Wharton’s stricture, not to give us any more of Gatsby’s “background”; Mrs. Wharton argued that the tragedy was diminished because we know too little about Gatsby’s origins, but the fact is that, as Jay Gatsby, Fitzgerald’s hero had no background. He had repudiated his former self, with its ancestry, as represented by his former name of James Gatz. And in his new role he had (to use the phrase of Horace Bushnell) “just begun to be.” That is what is acknowledged by the novel’s narrator, Nick Carraway, when he says about Gatsby that he “sprang from his Platonic conception of himself.” The legend of the second chance is thus poignantly re-enacted by Gatsby, as he carries forward his incorruptible dream beneath the surface of his guessed-at corruption.

𝑀𝑦 𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝐴𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑒. 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑛𝑖𝑔𝘩𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑢𝑠. 𝐼’𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒, 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝘩𝑎𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑓 𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑒𝑎𝑐𝘩 𝑜𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑛 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠, 𝐼’𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝑗𝑜𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝘩𝑜𝑤 𝑤𝑒 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑎𝑡𝘩 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑠, 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑒𝑎𝑐𝘩 𝑜𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒. 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑢𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑐𝘩 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒, 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑎 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡’𝑠 𝑤𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑣𝑒 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑚𝑒. 𝑇𝘩𝑎𝑡’𝑠 𝑤𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝘩𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟. 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝐼’𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑁𝑜𝑎𝘩.

Do you think in another life, I could have been a bird? / What do you mean? / Like reincarnation. / I don’t know. / I think I could. … Say I’m a bird. Say I’m a bird. Say it!