Unsent letter to my so-called-rapist
I wish you knew how I feel, the sadness and depression you made go through. To think I keep blaming myself for everything that happened between us. It’s been only 3 months, even though, they feel like 3 lifetimes of your hand running down my body, the way you kissed my neck, touched my lips and breasts while you kept giving me whatever alcohol you had in your hand, silly me to trust you. In fact, silly me to let you have all of this control over me, anxiety, depression, nightmares, suicidal attempts, etc, etc, etc...
It’s been three lifetimes of suffering in my mind of when you touched me against my will, when I trusted you, my friend, and you decided to get me drunk and tried to rape me.
Hey but! At least you didn’t rape me, right? I was one of the lucky ones... there was no penetration,so for you, it means nothing happened and that you didn’t do anything wrong to me... maybe it was my fault and maybe it wasn’t even rape, right?
It is way easier to feel like you’re a cheater instead of being the victim, way easier to take the guilt instead of saying that your judgement on people that you love sucks.
The sad part is that I still think about you, whenever I see new shoes like the collection you had in your room, whenever someone plays the piano from when I passed out in the floor and you took me to your bed, or whenever my boyfriend touches me before making love to me from when you were touching me and i was pushing you away... silly me, maybe I even like you even though I despite everything you did to me.
gracieabrams
vaporwave
titsay
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
kianamaiart
areudirty
tangentwithtanner
gummygunk
