A-Spec, Tertiary Attraction, And SAM Help Blog

–People should mind their own business anyway.

Kinda random slice-of-lifey, and I'm a bit late by now, but I wanted to wrap up ace week by sharing a lil bit more of my married life with my queerplatonic partner, so there we go.

you said to me you’d look for me in every room you’re in as i was caught inside my fears like nets with weights and veils of tears as i was throwing trauma triggered temper tantrums as i was shaking like a nervous dog i told you i was so afraid you wouldn’t miss me that you’d have better times without me there and stronger bonds with people unlike me because you wouldn’t kiss me because our love is unlike anything that either of us ever knew; because so much of our lives were like extended nightmare scapes and waking then I’m seeing you and each of us is so afraid in our respective ways but i maintain eternally: beside you i find softer days; than I had known before and somehow with each conflict we work through the two of us I feel secure a little more

I am so deeply in love with you but no romo.

What do you mean I want to be friends but also I think it's adorable when I fluster you and I think I could spend the rest of my life doing that. And like I wanna be your boyfriend but not like THAT, I wanna hang out but I don't wanna go on dates, I wanna kiss you but never on the lips, like maybe your hands or your forehead or your cheek or anywhere less romantically charged. I wanna hold your hand but like only sometimes, and only if it's not a big deal. But also it can be romantic just not like THAT. But also kinda like that?

And like it's fine if it's entirely romantic to you, that's cool. It's not to me. It's this weird blend of both. But also??? Don't make it weird and hugely romantic. But I could buy you flowers and call you my valentine in February, but like as friends-but-also-not. I want to hold you in my arms and comfort you and be your rock. But like. Not as friends but also not romantically. I adore you but not like you want me to but also it's like halfway there.

Your family asking why you don't have a partner, or if you do why are you not marrying, moving in together etc. Getting shamed for having some sort of friends with benefits agreement, getting told to present differently or "you won't find a partner". The idea that even just thinking someone is attractive is cheating on your partner, because obviously you can only have those feeling for one person. Getting told that whatever issue you have will be fixed, if you just find a partner.

Aromantics, people refusing to ever partner with someone, polyamorous people and people refusing to ever marry are probably the most affected by amatonormativity, but basically everyone experiences it on a regular basis.

Getting bigger: living together isn’t inherently romantic

Even bigger: going on dates isn’t inherently romantic

Getting larger again: kissing isn’t inherently romantic