another year, another chanukah, another round of finding assorted chanukah memorabilia (or menorabilia, if you will) and providing my highly intellectual and very scientific ratings!
i love that classic chanukah story of... the nutcracker. with a three-candle menorah and a giant-ass dreidel shaped like a wine bottle? you can't just paint a christmas toy blue and white folks. 3/10 what is he cracking for chanukah and do I want to know
I don't really understand this design choice but I'm also kinda here for it? this jewish arctic fox is doing his best okay. look at his lil face. 6/10 I could do without the re-colored santa cap, you could've just given him a kippah
this is one of the worst designs I've ever seen. the chanukah nazgul senses the one ring and it's coming for you. it's coming for your children. 1/10 target meet me in the parking lot I just wanna talk
anyone know what's up with these gnomes? dwarves? is this an attempt to make a jewish version of christmas elves? the one in the middle is holding a bomb. 5/10 at least they're kinda cute
oh you thought the other nutcracker was bad? let me introduce you to JEWISH SANTA NUTCRACKER. now in Blue And White™. because everyone know THAT'S what we're missing from our holiday. 3/10 his blank stare will haunt my nightmares
ah yes. nothing says chanukah like a flatbed truck. why are those dreidels so big? anyone driving that is going to get hate crimed so fast. 5/10 the live love laugh aesthetic is becoming inclusive help
this one made me HOOT with laughter. I'm sure this would be great for interfaith families but I just... it's just so funny. 6/10 I can't even say anything sarcastic about this it's just so idiotic I would absolutely buy one and laugh at it
now THIS. this is the chanukah merchandise I want. it's got cats being dumb. it's got a kosher menorah. it's got a stupid pun. it's got dreidels. saying mazel tov has nothing to do with chanukah but I'll allow it for the sake of the pun. 9/10 wholesome content
