Not-So-Incorrect Anime Quotes

Fandom: Do you identify as straight, gay, bi-

- When he went to the doctor's, he checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom's list. The nurse had to gently explain to him that the option was for babies. (She offered him a hug.)

- While arguing with Mina, he typed 'I'm a functional adult', but autocorrect changed it to 'I'm a fictional adult'. He let it stay that way because he couldn't really deny it.

- He appointed himself as Todoroki's mentor on maneuvering social situations. The first lesson he taught Todoroki was to 'de-escalate any situation by saying "Are we about to kiss?" '. Within a day, it left behind an exploding Bakugou, a furiously-blushing Deku and a traumatized traffic cop.

- For Christmas, he handed out cards to everyone, that said- "Friendship with me: Annual Membership Renewed".

- "I have yet to encounter a problem where a knife didn't factor into the solution somehow."

- "If I didn't cause a tiny bit of chaos every day, I think my body would shut down."

- "I wish I was a cat, but not in a furry kind of way. More like in a 'I can sleep all day and hit people without consequences' kind of way."

- "Next time I'm at a pet store, I'm gonna take a hamster and drop it in the python cage. I wanna see what it looks like when it goes 'oh fuck'. "

- You guys wait for Thanksgiving and Black Friday to get stuff cheap? Amateurs. I steal it."

- *Sips milk* "Oh my god, is this expired?" *Takes another sip*

- "I don't know the first thing about clothes, but I can tell you if something is clothes or not. This chair? Not clothes."

- "No offense to me, but what the actual fuck am I doing?"

- "I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke."

- "Money...is like Pokemon cards, but with actual people."

Deku: I wrote you a poem.

Bakugou, sighing: Don't be a cunt.

Kirishima: Exactly.

Bakugou: ...So can I-

~Part 4 of the Shouto's Guide To... series~

~Part 4 of Denki and Shinsou's non-date~

Denki: Todoroki, can I ask you a question?

Todoroki: Sure, anything.

Denki: Why don't you go back to your own house and leave us alone?

Todoroki: I would, but I'm actually kind of live-streaming this. Oh, thank you for the $20! Next sub goal: ShinDenki wear each other's hoodies.

Denki: And what do I get out of this?

Todoroki: A dollar.

Denki: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never-!

Todoroki: Two dollars.

~Part 3 of the Shouto's Guide To... series~

Todoroki: *shuts the cabinet at light speed*

*crashing heard behind the cabinet door*

Deku, walking in: What was that?

Todoroki: The sound of somebody else's problem.

Deku: ...Is something burning here?

Todoroki, leaning awkwardly on the counter: Just my desire for you.

~Part 2 of the Shouto's Guide To... series~

Bakugou: I'm gonna nickname my child 'Lil Bitch'.

Todoroki: I see you're passing on your nickname.

Deku, walking in: Kacchan, I heard you broke your leg! What happened?

Todoroki: Do you see those stairs?

Deku: Yes.

Shinsou: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?

Denki: For the dogs.

Shinsou: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Denki: What would you like to have?

Denki, opening fridge: We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-

Shinsou: Spiders?

Denki: Spiders it is.

Shinsou: No, that's not-

~Part 1 of the Shouto's Guide To... series~

Girl: I didn't catch your name, pretty boy.

Todoroki: I didn't throw it.

Girl: ...Um, well, can I have your number?

The squad: How so?

Bakugou: Your presence is fucking annoying.